Two
"Have you ever seen such a beautiful shite…
I could almost kiss your arse,
That's shinning so bright…
When I hear you farting,
I go: oh, oh, oh…
I would never want to miss, this coz in my fart,
I know what piss is!"
Stinky-Winky took off his headphones, and went over to the window, still humming his Hilary Guff songs. Upon a hill outside was a windmill, lazily slotted together, made from scrap iron that the Tubbies had found on the scrap heap. It span stupidly at random times, sometimes signifying blocked drains. It was still today. Stinky-Winky stared at it for a few moments, trying to ignore the noise that Dumpsy was still making in the bathroom.
Then he saw two round, coloured blobs running up the hill towards the shack. One was red, the other yellow. His two sisters were back; both of them looking very happy with themselves.
Then he heard the sound of angry metal clanking and crashing against itself. He turned around quickly, and was almost knocked backwards by the Poo-Poo robot, who was racing manically towards the front door.
It was making loud sounds of malfunctioning, and several bolts were flying from its bodywork.
Stinky-Winky sighed, and began chasing it - he didn't want to have to scrape dead rabbits from the paintwork like last time.
"What's going on!" Poo said anxiously, as she saw the Poo-Poo flying out of the door with Stinky-Winky on it's tail. (Even though it had no tail… Just an expression…)
"Stupid thing's been eating those Toilet Duck tablets again!" Stinky panted. "I gotta catch it, before it starts killing things again!"
And with that, Stinky dashed off in the direction of the outhouse; trying to stop the enraged Poo-Poo.
Blah-Blah and Poo rolled their eyes, then both burst into a fit of giggling. Then they skipped happily arm-in-arm into the shack.
"Dumpsy!" Poo called.
"We got you what you wanted!" Blah-Blah said, finishing her sister's sentence. (As they often did.)
Dumpsy appeared in the doorway, his trousers around his knees. He took their offering, broke it in half and then retreated back into the bathroom.
Blah-Blah took the remains, and placed it on a shelf, above the magic sponges that were set in the wall. (These sponges could clean up any type of excrement - and still smell like lemons!)
Around half an hour later, Blah-Blah and Poo were watching each other's T.V. (All Tubbies had T.V screens implanted in their stomachs - caused by a genetic mutation. - Either that, or their mom had been very naughty with their T.V…) Blah-Blah was watching Delia Whiff, a famous chef, who often made meals from baked beans and other gassy foods… Poo however, was watching the new music videos for the Poo Fighters, and Bowling for Poop - her two all time favourite metal bands.
Dumpsy finally emerged from the bathroom, a huge grin on his face.
"Thanks fer the stuff girls; worked like magic, it did!"
"Glad to hear it!" Said Blah-Blah, trying not to remove her gaze from her sister's tummy.
"Well den, I'm off for my usual stroll." (Dumpsy had a habit of wandering around the swamp for hours on end, usually walking aimlessly, coming back and tracking mud.) He walked over to the hat stand, and took down his black and white spotted hat. He'd made it when his Dalmatian had died, he didn't want to have it stuffed, so he took it to the haberdashery instead. The other Tubbies said this was mean and cruel, but Dumpsy took no notice. Blah-Blah had even once tried to flush it down the toilet, but it had clogged, and flooded the shack - this caused a storm and a half with Stinky-Winky. Dumpsy set out for his walk, and began humming a song by Cistern of a Down; another metal band the Tubbies were fans of.
After a very long time, Stinky-Winky finally returned, dragging the Poo-Poo robot back into the shack with a rope around it's head. He'd turned it onto shut-down; and he would have to spend a good few hours trying to repair it.
His two sisters were taking an afternoon nap - both of them snoring loudly from the far corner of the shack.
Stinky was fed up, he'd had a bad morning, and now a bad afternoon. He sighed deeply; then went over to the shelf and picked up a bar of chocolate.
"At least this won't do any harm…" He said to himself, as he took a huge bite and crunched it loudly.
But he was wrong…
