CHAPTER FOURTEEN

ALIVE


The house feels so empty. It's become more and more apparent to her since Carlisle and her repaired it. The missing furniture pieces just opened up too much space and with the fresh paint, it feels more like an open house set for sale than a home.

She finds herself trailing around the empty bedrooms more often now; the bare walls and lack of personal touches hit her hard as she imagines what the rooms would look like if they were full of life and company. She imagines that if Trixie were here, she would claim her room and paint drawings on the wall.

She sighs. Maybe she needs to decorate the rooms. Just to make it feel like she isn't alone in such a big house. Or give up the hope of visitors.

Linda is calling...

Ariel looks down at the screen of her phone, wondering if it is in her best interest to answer it. The events from the other week are still weighing on her heavily, being fresh in both her mind and her heart. It makes her feet drag during her shifts and she can feel it taking a toll on her; even the other nurses have commented on the bags that are starting to form under her eyes and the overwhelming negative energy that she is projecting is the reason that Brett moved her to working the phones for now. Apparently she is too depressing to be around the patients.

Carlisle has done his best, having helped tremendously by being openly affectionate and being a comforting shoulder to lean on. He is a welcomed distraction to underlying issues and she has tried her best to focus her attention more on him than on the weight on her chest.

She is not sure just how much more drama she can take right now. She tells herself that that's why she still hasn't told Carlisle what she is.

She's already received a few, if brief, texts from Chloe asking if she was okay; so she knows that word has already spread throughout that group about what happened.

But Linda; she remembers Linda's calming voice, her patient and her understanding; the woman who was the one to give her the idea of becoming a nurse. The therapist has proven herself to be useful; helpful. Nice.

In the comfort of her home, dressed in a light nightgown due to it being a hotter night than usual, she answers the call as she settles into a fluffy chair with a throw blanket. The two pigeons settle down on her shoulders, pecking gently at her ears.

"Ariel? I heard about what happened, I usually prefer to talk about this sort of thing in person, but given the circumstances, I knew that we had to talk as soon as possible."

Ariel takes in a deep breath, closing her eyes as she leans back into the chair.

"Did you know," Ariel asks softly. When Linda doesn't answer, she repeats herself more firmly. "Did you know about Uriel? Did you know that they were keeping such big things from me?"

"...Yes. I knew about Uriel. I knew that they were keeping things from you. I constantly urged them both to come forward with you about some details about your… family… but ultimately, it is not my place to tell you."

The hesitation in the word family leaves a bad taste in her mouth; she doesn't like the implication that there is still more that she doesn't know.

"It's not really your place to keep it secret either, doctor," Ariel's nose crinkles as her brows furrow, "I thought that therapists only kept things secret unless it hurt others."

Linda pauses and she knows that it is a low blow, but the bitter part of her for having it kept secret makes it hard to care.

"You're right, that wasn't right of me to do. I had really tried my best to get them to get them to tell you since I felt that this is all out of my depth and that you deserved to hear it from one of them. But that doesn't change the fact that I should have handled things different. I am sorry, Ariel."

Ariel groans in mild disappointment; a part of her was hoping for a fight, hoping that she would get the chance to yell and scream. To do something. But Linda's sincere apology is clear as she accepts her part in keeping it secret.

"You're making it hard to stay upset, doctor," Ariel mumbles under her breath. "I just - I feel like I could have done things better, myself."

"You think you could have prevented it if you did something different," Linda presses, "You blame yourself, don't you?"

Ariel's silence is answer enough. Linda continues, "Guilt is a common stage of grief, but if we focus only on the guilt, then we never properly grieve."

The more that Linda talks, the more Ariel feels a bit more secure. Grounded. Lighter. She can't imagine how the impromptu therapy sessions go with her brothers; but there is something about talking it out with someone who knows the whole situation and knows what to say that helps. Ariel isn't sure how it happens, but the conversation progresses into lighter, happier topics like a real conversation as they laugh together over the phone.

"I was thinking…" Linda speaks up hesitantly, "Maybe having some more company over would help? Sometimes to grieve those who have passed, we need to surround ourselves with those still alive. Maybe I should drop Charlie off this weekend? No Amenadiel. You don't work the weekend shift, so maybe he can even spend the entire weekend with his favorite aunt."

"I think you're just trying to rope me into babysitting duty," Ariel dryly comments, but the appeal of having her favorite nephew over is hard to pass up.

"-But I would love to watch over Charlie for the weekend."


Carlisle notices the change in her demeanor the next morning; the spark ignited in her eye and the excitement buzzing off of her can be felt around the room. Her newfound cheerfulness and passion show in her work as she breezes through the day and he can't help but feel thankful to see the return of her happiness, having noted her more depressed demeanor since they talked.

He watches her in mild amusement as he strolls up behind her as she writes on the notepad in her hands. The lacking presence of anyone in the deserted halls makes him hum with ideas as he approaches her. When he lightly blows on the back of her neck, she turns around sharply on her heels to acknowledge his presence.

"You look rather chipper this morning."

The privacy within the halls can be short lived, but knowing that anyone can walk in on them doesn't stop them as they stand close together, her back against the wall with a forgotten notepad at her side. The small distance between them buzzes, an electric sensation making her arms break out into chills. The shadows starting to make an appearance in Carlisle's eyes are the only indication that he is fully aware of just how close they are.

"-I should hope so," Ariel gives him a coy smile, "I have every reason to be."

She reaches for him, closing the distance between them to press a chaste kiss on his lips. The affection takes him off guard, despite her constant teasing and flirtations, their shared kisses have been few. But it serves as a good reminder of where they stand together. Still, the touch of her lips on his isn't long enough for his liking.

Boldly, a hand wraps around her waist and pulls her close as he steals another, longer kiss from her. She happily hums into the kiss, leaning into his embrace. He can feel the warmth of her against his chest as they part with soft smiles.

"Do you plan on sharing the reason you're so chipper," his voice soft and teasing.

"Hmm maybe you'll have to kiss the answer out of me," Ariel hums, looking up at him with glowing, mischievous eyes and a flirtatious smirk.

At the small growl at the back of his throat, Ariel grins wildly as she sees the hooded look haunt his eyes.

"That is tempting," Carlisle agrees, his voice low and dark, "But I don't see how you plan on talking if your lips are occupied?"

Ariel pulls away gently with a pout and it makes him regret saying anything. But his hand is still pressed against the small of her back as she fixes the collar of his shirt.

"Pity. I was hoping to steal a few more kisses from you, but I suppose that we'll have to save it for a later date. And if you must know, Amenadiel's wife is dropping by this weekend so that I may spend the weekend with my favorite nephew."

The news of Amenadiel's wife isn't surprising; Carlisle knew that both of her brothers already had partners, though he isn't sure if their concept of marriage and mates is the same as the coven's. He expects that they would be the same species, as it is with most vampires' pairs, but he supposes that there is a possibility of them being human. Ariel hasn't commented enough on the subject for him to put those pieces together.

Nor has she commented enough on the fact that she has an apparent nephew, which makes his eyes brighten as his mind stirs with questions. She notices the curiosity in his eyes, giving a wistful laugh, her eyes softening.

"It's - it's been too long since I've seen him and he's still a child, so full of life and energy. It'll be nice for the house to be filled up with that type of energy."

Carlisle hums thoughtfully, her apparent loneliness having always been noticeable and present since he met her. Though he likes to think that their budding relationship is starting to ease that, he has to admit that he hasn't really visited her house since helping her repair it nor have they really spent much time together outside of the hospital as of lately. Something that he admits is his fault, being buried behind a lot of work at the hospital lately.

"Maybe I'll have to bring him to the hospital, just so he can see where I work," Ariel hesitantly offers and the implications of her bringing over specifically just to see him makes his heart flutter.

"I should be off this weekend," Carlisle points out gently, "Perhaps a visit to the city would be more fun? Or a trip to the lake? It's supposed to be cloudy, but I don't think we're due for any rain this weekend."

"I'm not sure what a four year old would like to do in the city, but a trip to the lake is a splendid idea; is a certain doctor planning on joining us?"

The revelation of her nephew's exact age makes him pause ever so slightly as he processes the new information; it has been a very long time since he's interacted with such young children. Most of the children in Forks have already grown into high schoolers and many of the townsfolk aren't in a hurry to have more kids. But the idea of really interacting with a child - a baby, really - with Ariel stirs up something - a long forgotten domestic dream.

"I would be happy to join you."