Ahhh, I love you guys! Your reviews make me so happy! I'm totally giving thatgirlyoucanttrust ((He was the sexiest devil ever. It has to be blasphemous for the devil to be that hot! And the last chapter of Touched was incredible! I'm on my way to the DSL boards to post this chapter there and review Touched there too, I love it! It's like a drug lol!)), angel422 ((I am so glad you like my story, I love to hear that you laughed! It makes me happy lol! And I think Have a Little Faith in Me is in the process of sweeping past NTS for one of my all time favorites. But I am generally in love with all of them lol!)), Funkyicecube ((OMG! You have the same name as Alexz! lol, sorry I think that's just about the coolest thing, ever and one time I had ice cubes with holes in the middle and I stuffed my straw through them and flung them at my brother. lol, it was funny but the waiters gave me a seriously dirty look, lol)), Duddley111 ((I am completely obsessed with using my dog's name every where! I wanted to make my lisence plate after him too, but then... I didn't lol. I am so glad you liked it!)) and VilandraofAntar ((can I just tell you that I love you? lol, I totally draw inspiration from Gilmore Girls, especially Loreli, it's like the highest complement ever since I totally try to mesh the two worlds. But not too much... lol, I'm rambling but thank you so much!)) Super Instant Star points! lol, thank you guys SO much! I hope you guys like this chapter just as much. On that subject, I transplanted Sadie's comment (Tommy and Jude choose each other everytime) into this, but Jamie says it. And I also moved Tommy's thing with the machine wanting toner from the NSTB Part 2 and Jamie says that too. And did everyone not love last night's episode. Tommy and Jude kiss, so hot! And I'm using a variation of the dialogue between the two in the next chapter, but that's all I'll say lol! Ok, this is long so I'll stop
Disclaimer: I own nothing, including the Kelly Clarkson lyrics to Where is Your Heart?
Chapter 3: Ziggy Stardust
That Night…
"But for God's sake
Could you try?" Spied sang at me.
"Is it so hard
To give me what I need?" His eyes bore into me. "I'm sorry" I told him desperately, but he kept singing despite my pleas.
"I don't understand
Your love is so cold
It's always me that's reaching out
For your hand" I put my hand over his, making the strum of the guitar suddenly quiet. It didn't stop him from continuing his song.
"And that's all I'm asking for
Oh, where is your heart?" I pulled my hand from the guitar to over my heart. "It's right here." I told him while he shook his head to disagree. "Yes it is" I challenged his claim of my lack of heart. He reached out a yanked my hair pulling me back and forth.
"What the fuc-"
"Don't you finish that Jude Lucille Harrison." My mom barked at me.
You can totally cue Wayne and Garth with their fading dream sequence noise and hand motions and pull me back from Dreamland. I blinked my eyes a few times, finally registering that Spied hadn't been singing to me and that my mom was pulling my hair.
"Mind letting go of my head? I could always call Ice T though. He'd go all SVU on you." I told my mom.
She smiled, untangling her fingers from my long hair, inhaling lightly and kissing me fondly on my forehead. Normally I wipe it off, since I'm so misunderstood, but I left it.
"What's with violent ambush?" I asked to fill the silence.
"Tommy's downstairs."
"Why" I countered, knowing that we had a meeting this morning. But I planned on skipping it. Darius likes to hear himself talk, and each time I hear him I die a little inside. My mom gave me a look, and sat down on my bed. I could feel the concern radiating. It was basically throttling me until she finally started.
"Jude, honey, your father and I think that you have been missing too much school for your own good." I opened my mouth, all ready to tell her she was crazy if she thought I was going to leave G-Major, but she put up a hand to stop me. Like she was the cross guard from The Magic School Bus. There was a cross guard, wasn't there? I mean there should have been if there wasn't, it was show about a school bus.My mom continued her speech and abruptly stopped my mental ramble.
"We are not suggesting that you leave your contract. Your father wouldn't even hear of it" she said the last part under her breath and I could tell she was talking to herself more than me. "So we're getting you a full time tutor."
I was about to open my mouth to complain again. But I found nothing. I was totally ok with that. No more Mr. McGorge with his Physics boringness. Cue the Gloria and the angles singing on high: No more Mr. Sagle!
"Well do I get to pick this tutor?" I wondered out loud to my mom.
With my luck I'd get some Boyz Attack fanatic that Tommy would inevitably fall in love with. Even though I don't really care who Tommy falls in love with. I would just prefer if it weren't some gorgeous braniac. So basically no one like my sister.
"We've got a few choices for you to pick from." She told me with a tone that told me she wanted to wrap things up.
"Yea, ok. That's cool." I told her and she planted another kiss on my forehead and left the room.
"And don't forget about Tommy." She called from outside my door.
Yea right, like I could ever forget about Tommy.
I slumped back on my pillows, feeling the plush softness of the blankets against my legs and wishing I didn't have to get up. But I was still glad that Carson Hill wouldn't be on my agenda anymore. I heard Kelly Ripa laughing from downstairs, so I knew Tommy was making himself comfortable. Kwest told me about his weird thing for her. Good thing she's married. To a really hot guy. And they have kids. Like ten of them… Well, if I were Kelly I'd wanna do my husband all the time too. I swung my door open and grabbed a towel from the closet near the staircase.
"Gimme like ten minutes." I called to Tommy, knowing it would be much longer than ten minutes.
Tommy never replied but I sorta didn't care since I could hear him imitating Regis loudly. I threw my pajamas on the floor and waited for the hot water to build. I slipped in the shower thinking of the song we had started earlier. "White Lies!" I shouted into the showerhead. But with all the water beating down on my face it came out white lines. Hmmm, a new spin on an old saying. I can see the headlines now: Jude Harrison, Breaking the cliché borders for Canada!
See? That's partly the reason why I will never be a reporter. That and when I write, I have a tendency to make things up that just sound right. But what sounds right to me does not make sense in the world of Great Expectations. But whatever.
"I held you in my arms last night. I dreamed we were riding on a star." I sang against the melody I had played before, liking the way it sounded.
I rinsed my hair one last time and hopped out of the shower, wrapping my towel below my collarbone loosely and grasping it with my hand. I reached for the cold knob and shivered a little.
I swayed the door open and Tommy stared back at me. "Jude" He started loudly making me jump and scream simultaneously. I watched his eyes bug immeasurably while he ogled me. I looked down and shrieked even louder when I realized I had dropped my towel in surprise. I continued to scream, too shocked to cover myself.
"GET OUT!" I screamed at him hysterically.
When he made no movement I reached down, picked up my towel and locked myself in the bathroom hurriedly.
"Tommy! Get the hell out of my room!" I called through the door.
"I'm going! I'm going!" He called. I could hear him blushing.
"Promise?" I asked tentatively.
"I promise." He vowed as I creaked the door open.
I opened it wider to see my room was empty and the outside door shut tightly. I threw on a pair of jeans and a random T-shirt, hoping they were clean. I hastily plastered some mascara to my eyelashes and finally swung my door open with a sigh. I leaped in surprise as Tommy tumbled to the floor in my room. He looked up at me. I could tell he wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed or pretend that he hadn't seen anything. I rolled my eyes and put out a hand for him to grasp while he got up.
"Look Quincy, I know you saw everything so don't pretend you didn't." I said with no room for arguments. He conceded willingly with a nod and followed me downstairs.
I sat in the kitchen, eating a pop tart and looking for my cell phone. "Misplaced your sanity, girl?" He asked me jokingly. He proceeded to laugh even though it wasn't funny.
"You know, people always say it's in the, last, place you look." He added conversationally, like I lived under a rock and never heard anyone say that.
"Shut up dumb ass. What did you see that written underneath Call Gabby for a Good time in the men's bathroom or something? And b-t-w, that's a stupid saying. I mean, of course it's in the last place you look. Who seriously keeps looking for something once they've already found it?" He looked at me quizzically, his eyes lingering. I shook my head but wiggled self consciously, hoping he wasn't going through a Madden-inspired instant replay.
"Can I ask you something?"
"No."
"Is it real?"
I stared at him, completely shocked with my mouth hitting the floor. I reached out and slapped him hard across the face. The smack rang through the kitchen as he put a hand to his sore cheek.
"What was that for!" He yelled at me incredulously.
"Did you just ask me what I think you just asked me!" I answered.
"I asked if your, tattoo, was real!" He yelled back, making me shrink embarrassedly.
"Oh." I said quietly while he stared back at me with his palm still on his face.
"Sorry then." I said with remorse. "And yes." I finished.
He dropped his hand with a devilish smile spreading across his face. "Well… I was wondering if those were real too." He said playfully. I slapped his arm defensively.
"What? You been taking Spiederman 101?" I asked, flinching a little at his name but then mentally slapped myself for acting like such a baby. Tommy watched me cringe and shot me a sympathetic look. He did know where I was coming from. He had basically been in the same situation I was in; only Sadie thought he cheated on her. And Spied… well he thought I was cheating on him too.
"Oh yea." Tommy assured me laughingly.
We looked at each other for a moment. I could feel his eyes searing into me, trying to read me. Trying to figure out what the hell had been up my butt last night. I looked away so he couldn't it was Spiederman. Ew. So Spiederman was totally not anywhere near my butt, but the whole Spied situation was what had put my in my weird mood. Whatever. I was glad to hear him sigh in resignation, finally learning to let stuff go.
(Except that whole Little Tommy Q thing from the first day. But I think what pissed him off so much was what I followed up that nickname with. I faintly remember batting the phrase boy-band poser about quite a bit.)
He rolled his head in a sarcastic circle with a laugh. "Every night." He clarified.
"Well no wonder you haven't gotten lucky." I said suggestively, letting my tongue linger on my lips on the l in lucky and walked out the door. I gratifyingly watched him stare a little before shaking himself and following.
"Like you'd know girl." He countered and reached for his keys. I gasped loudly and pleaded to drive again.
"No way Jude. No one will live." He told me.
"Well can you at least put the top up" I called from my door as I grabbed a sweatshirt. The wind whipped against my face as I zipped up my heavy cardigan.
We tittered in the car about this and that. I told him that I had to be home before 9:30 tonight. "Why?" He asked eyeing my suspiciously. Whatever, stupid. It's nothing that concerns you.
"Got a Date with the Night." I said casually. He looked at me sharply, almost serving into another car. Was he serious? God did someone replace this grown man with a pre-menstrual ten-year-old girl that found out Jesse McCartney has a girlfriend. I half expected him to cry and run home and post emo-inspired lyrics on his myspace.
I like just want to die today. I feel the ebony of night will engulf me, since my illegal artist has a date. I know, I know. GASP! My sadness is welling inside my un-chambered heart and seeping through me, filling me with something that I cannot even understand! Oh the horror! Oh the cruelty! Ok, so maybe I'm exaggerating. But only a little. I mean Tommy's not that smart; I don't think he can spell his own last name without phonetically saying Q…u… It's really sad, and really funny to watch.
"Relax Tom. I can't miss Grey's Anatomy again. And b-t-w, have you ever seen True Life: I'm Jealous?"
He visibly relaxed, and shook his head in reply to my question.
"Really? Cause I think you all would get along great." I said under my breath even though I knew he could hear me.
I went to turn on the radio but he clasped my hand to stop me. "What? Afraid I might Rock Your Body J.T. style?" He glanced at me again, more piercingly at the insinuation of my offer. Whatever at least I wasn't like "I want your body" or something stupid and dirty like that. At least I knew that dirty only had one R.
"How bout we keep the rest of the ride, silent." He suggested, lightly pressing his forefinger to his lips while he turned back towards the road. Whatever.
He killed the engine and we walked in together. I asked him lightly about what Darius said about the new kid.
"Got big talent." He told me, mocking Darius' booming voice and puffed his chest out like an ape. He looked so stupid. But I laughed anyway.
"Hmmm" I said knowingly, even though it was completely coming outta my ass.
I saw Spied sitting a near by table and watched him roll his eyes as my giggles died off. I motioned for Tommy to go ahead of me. He looked at Spied and then back at me. Tommy inched forward and whispered in my ear, his breath tingling and sending those proverbial shivers. I'm worse than Olivia Newton John. Oooo, Summer Lovin'.
"Call if you need me. At all girl." I nodded while I tried to swallow away the thump in my throat and ignore the painful knot in my stomach.
He walked away but turned to face me while he did, continually looking between Spiederman and me. He almost backed into a wall but saved himself at the last moment. I smiled softly and turned to look at Spied who had pretended he hadn't been watching us the whole time. Whatever Freddie Prinze Jr.
I joined him and caught that he scooted away from me, to the end of the couch. It hurt me, but I looked past it and inhaled calmly.
"Whacha doing?" I asked lightly, leaning myself against the back of the couch and propping my feet on the table where I had read his lyrics at the night before. My heart tightened painfully in my chest when I thought back to the folder.
"Gettin' rich or die tryin'." He told me with a hint of sarcasm as he continued to tune his guitar.
"Look Spied, I'm sorry I -" He cut me off impatiently like he couldn't stand to hear me apologize.
"Just save it, ok?" He looked at me seriously and if I hadn't known him better I would have sworn that I saw tears glistening. I bent away from the cushion against my back and moved closer to him, putting my hands on his. The small strums discontinued and everything felt eerily like my dream. It had not been I dream I ever wanted to become a reality.
(Unlike my dream where I made out with Zack Efron for like 5 hours. That, I would love to be some kind of prophecy. LIKE HARRY POTTER! Only instead of my life hanging in the balance because the Joan Rivers of Dark Lords and I couldn't simultaneously live, I kinda just wanted to marry Zack.)
My dream was more like nightmare. Spied hadn't been able to stand my and even in my dream-state I felt the hateful waves radiating at me. I never wanted him to hate me.
"Spied…" I started, but stopped when I realized he really was on the brink of tears. I felt my heart tear clean in two. I was going to attempt to explain what was between Tommy and I and that I couldn't change what we had, but I switched gears.
"Did you write that song?" I asked softly with tears in my voice. I looked up and watched him turn away from me.
"Look, this" he motioned between the two of us "just doesn't seem to work. And I don't wanna know if it's because we didn't try hard enough or if we're just too… dissimilar." I looked at him wildly, not believing what he was saying to me and simultaneously berating the part of me that had the overwhelming need to sigh in relief. I cared about Spied. But,
(And I sound like every bitchy girl in all the movies that everyone hates because she breaks the best friends heart because it there just isn't any chemistry and we all secretly hopes she chokes on her own spit and gets what she deserves. Brittany Murphy anyone? Even though in Clueless she totally ends up with the greasy skateboarding guy. I couldn't really come up with a better example since I was in the process of being dumped.)
I just didn't care about him in the right way. I didn't know what was wrong with me. That I couldn't be happy with what I have. What I had. But Spied wasn't enough.
"Jude…" He started remorsefully, but I decided to save us both.
I filled in the space between his and captured his lips. It wasn't a passionate kiss. It wasn't a wanting kiss. It was, as hopelessly Rory Gilmore as I seem, a goodbye kiss. We would never say goodbye forever but we were saying goodbye that part of our relationship. Our boyfriend/girlfriendthing was too much for us to handle, too much pressure and too many emotions flying at once. We were better not so together. I think there was too much blonde in one relationship. He broke away, a small smile creeping across his face.
"Still think Sadie would hula with me?" He asked with a watery laugh. I laughed with him, letting few tears fall as I slapped him lightly on the arm.
"Did I ever tell you I got a tattoo?" I started. He stopped laughing and looked at me in sheer surprise. I could feel the proverbial camera panning away from us as we spent the next hour laughing like we used to.
Later that day…
"Chicken Jackass International is officially closed, dude."
"What the hell does that mean?" Jamie asked with his face contorted in frustration. "Sweet Lord!" He exclaimed and smashed his hand down on top of the fax machine. "It's asking for something called… toner." He said in desperation, wiping his brow with his entire arm clumsily and making Spied laugh at him.
Jamie glared at him for a moment, huffed with a defeated look at the obstinate machine, muttering "Age of technology my ass." and sat down, ready for whatever the hell Spiederman had been talking about.
"Ok, lay it on me." He said with a wave of his hand.
"Dude. Me and Jude, aren't me and Jude. Anymore." He told Jamie.
"What? Are you expecting me to Dr. Laura you? I thought Nana gave you guys the talk before you left for tour. I know Wally and Kyle won't go near her now."
"No. I just know you've… been there. Here." Spied explained.
"Look Spiederman, the only advice I can give you is don't get between Tommy and Jude. They choose each other every time." He said almost cryptically and left Spied to brood.
"Well thanks for tellin' me now!" Spied called after, wishing he had known this before the "Juderman" era. Some where in the building he heard a loud laugh that sounded vaguely evil.
Meanwhile…
"Being married to someone like Tommy could not have been that bad." I said skeptically.
"Ever heard of a selfish lover?" Portia asked me with a slightly disgusted look on her face as she bit into a carrot.
"To quote the great philosopher, David Bowie 'making love with his ego'?" Tommy called stupidly as he entered a conversation I knew he would not have otherwise wanted to apart of.
"Well Tommy." I started in a professional, business-like tone. "That can be interpreted two different ways." He gave me a look that told me he didn't know what I was talking about. What an idiot.
"Well it can either mean A." I started using my forefinger to show him reason number 1 "it can mean that he is literally having sex with his ego. Or B." I held up my middle finger along with the other to motion reason number 2 "it can mean that his ego is doing the nasty with the girl for him. And stop quoting Ziggy Stardust. You sound like an ass." I told him seriously, even though my face was contorting painfully to keep from laughing. Portia and I watched his eyes bug uncontrollably. I think that I made too many references to sex or said sex too many times for his brain to process.
His face grew as red as that Baboon's butt on that Cartoon Network show. Damn! What was that show called? With the Weasel that was always better than him and going to space and whatever. And the Baboon always wrote I R Baboon! on his t-shirt and stuff. Whatever, it didn't matter because as soon as I opened my mouth again, Tommy stuck his face in his coffee mug and walked out of the room. But to make it better just as he was lifting his head to see where he was going he smashed his face into the glass door, with a loud thud ringing through the room.
"Ow." He muttered pathetically while Portia and I looked at each other for a silent moment and burst out laughing. It was more like we were channeling the Witches of Macbeth or that bitch from the Disney movie Double, Double, Toil and Trouble with the Olsen twins. Our cackling continued until Kwest popped his head in.
"That Craig guy's here. D wants everyone to come give him a G-Major welcome." He told us motioning to the front lobby. It was all so similar to my first day that I had to push away the memories that flooded.
I looked around me and saw the entire population of a small country gathering around. This was gonna shock the hell outta him. He opened the doors but someone with a stupid beehive was in my way. Who even still wears those? People are stupid.
I watched him shake hands jovially with Darius, Liam and lastly Tommy. Definitely showing the rest of us the chain of command. It's a good thing I'm basically in Tommy's pocket or else I'm pretty sure I would be fired.
When Tommy stepped away from their man-hug (that reminded me of Will and Grace. Can someone say Just JACK! ?) I saw Craig. He was definitely not ugly. Not at all. He was hot. At least a 9 on the Sadie Harrison scale and she has impossibly high standards.
(Tommy had been a 10 but now that no one can convince her that he didn't cheat on her he's been demoted to clean the dirty underwear of the hotter men on the scale. Sadie's wishes, not mine.)
I was especially drawn to his smile. It was wide, engulfing almost all of his face, but genuine. I felt myself smile along with him as he approached with the three executives of G-Major trailing.
"Hey. I'm Craig." He drawled laughingly.
"Hi. I'm Jude." I said nervously. I looked down at his extended hand and didn't realize he meant to shake my own until the four men laughed weirdly at me. Spied came from behind after having seen the hand-scene transpire and clasped Craig on the shoulder.
"Don't worry. She totally lives up to her nickname. We like to call her Over-rated."
"Would you like me to share you got your own Skid mark?" I asked nastily. He slashed his hand across his throat with a panicked look on his face. I completely ignored it.
"Go fug yourself." I said to his worried expression.
"Why don't we continue these pleasantries on the way to Studio B? Sound like a good idea Miss Harrison?" Liam asked me pompously.
"Yes, I think it does sound like a smashing idea." I mimicked his accent. He turned a flush shade of red that I had only see once before when Jamie asked him if the Lucky Charms were at the pot o' gold. That really pissed him off, so I scampered away before he could splatter his meanness all over me. Besides I totally remember when he called me a 'stupid girl' that one time in Darius' office. He was so not telling me the name of the damn Garbage song, he was being an asshole and calling me stupid. Well all I can say is:
stupid man.
Who will never be married.
And will live with 5,000 cats.
Who won't even like him.
And jump on his chest while he sleeps and suck his breath out.
Ok, so I got that last part from the Princess Diaries booksbut I thought it was really funny. I sat in Tommy's chair, trying my hardest not to seem giddy but not to seem too blasé. Craig came in and joined me, taking the chair facing me.
"I would love to take you up on that story Miss Harrison." He told me similarly mocking Liam's accent when he said my name. We laughed together before I inhaled loudly and thought back to that infamously awesome day on tour.
"Well, Kyle had apparently taken one of Spied's groupies. So Spied decided he needed 'defend his manly honor.' " I started using air quotes for Spied's exact words.
"DUDE! Give her back!" "It's not like I tucked her away in my pocket for safe keeping. She's not Thumbelina." "Well maybe she was my Thumbelina!" "Spied, what does that mean?" I interjected in amusement. He shook his head violently in my direction and continued to scream incoherently about the brunette from the night before. "Dude she was blonde." Kyle told him. Spied looked at him wildly before stalking off towards the door.
"Spied was a dumbass and pantsed Kyle from behind like two seconds later." I had to stop because I had started laughing really hard, remembering the rest of the day.
"Stop exposing yourself Kyle! There's a lady in the room." Spied yelled tauntingly. Kyle turned around fiercely, almost tripping over since his pants were still around his ankles. He pulled them up angrily and I swear I heard him growl before charging at Spied. And the dumbass did run away in the face of an irate, blonde, tattooed drummer and backed himself flat against the wall, looking like those people in the Final Destination movies right before they die.
"So Kyle grabbed Spied by the knees and threw him over his shoulder. Then the next thing we knew Kyle was dragging Spied out of the room, into the elevator and out in the main hotel lobby." I told Craig who watched me with laughing eyes as he listened intently. I noticed that Tommy, Kwest and SME, minus the S, were all listening too. Wally was trying to hold back his laughter and Kyle nonchalantly nodded at Tommy's questioning look. Like the ass didn't believe me.
"Put me down!" "Oh stop, I think its sweet. Like a spin on the damsel in distress. Don't fuss, don't fuss Spiederma." I called like Carol Brady. Kyle and Wally chuckled in response while Spiederman looked up at me with a deadly look. Maybe I shouldn't provoke him. Kyle jabbed the button for the elevator and Wally and I followed, still not knowing what he was gonna do. I kinda thought Kyle was gonna lynch Spied, but I didn't know for sure. "I think Kyle's gonna kill him." Wally said warily next to me, mirroring my thoughts. Spied continued to kick and scream in a very girl-like manner until we reached the bottom floor. Kyle shot out the elevator with an even paler looking Spied. "Oh my God, he's going to impale me with a front desk pen!" Spied shouted worriedly.
"So Kyle finally set him down on his feet. But Spied was so freaked out that he didn't just run. Kyle reached down and grabbed Spied's pants so hard…" I stopped because I was laughing wildly; tears were rolling down my cheeks.
"Dude what are you doing?" "Just want to give Thumbelina a look at what she missed." Kyle said cheekily and lunged at the waist of Spied's pants. I kinda thought he was gonna go down on him, but then watched in horror and fascination as Spiederman's shorts dropped to the grounded and Wally and I stood staring at Spied. All of Spied. He was pulling a serious Richard Gere, American Gigolo. But it wasn't intentional Kyle made him do it. But I do sorta think Spied couldda given Richard a run for his money.
"and." "his." I said between loud, forceful giggles and then finally gave up and clutched my cramping stomach. Wally cut in with a voice full of similar belly shaking laughter.
"Dude, his tightie whities totally came down too." "And about a thousand cameras got a picture of his ass."
"Look there he is!" Reporters shouted at their cameramen. "Where?" They shouted back stupidly. "It's the kid with no pants idiot!" The reporters said forcefully and pointing at Spied's naked ass. Spied quickly recovered and shoved his pants up again and ran for the stairs, forgoing the elevator. But I did notice him wince painfully. At least he hadn't pulled a Ben Stiller, There's Something about Mary era. I even wouldn't have laughed at that.
I looked at Craig who was laughing silently and looking over my shoulder. I whipped around and saw an embarrassed looking Spied.
"Yea! So I hadn't changed my underwear in a while. But we couldn't find a laundry mat!" Craig, Tommy and Kwest stopped laughing and looked at him with wide eyes.
"We were gonna spare you that part dude." Kyle cut in and we watched Spied turn from crimson to a humiliated purple.
I looked at Spied and decided to go for the kill. Does that make me a bitch? Oh well, No Sympathy for the Devil.
"There may have or may not have been a few … mysterious stains." I told the three before proceeding to laugh like a hyena from the Lion King. Spied looked at me with a betrayed glare.
"Et tú Jude?" He said loudly.
Spied continued to look at me for a minute with his chest heaving. I recognized his thinking face, (where his eyes formed little slits and his nostrils flared but his nose scrunched up at the same time and he bit his bottom lip) and started to worry. His face relaxed and he inhaled deeply through his mouth before running to the door and swinging it open.
"Jude orgasms about Tommy in her sleep." He shouted for all of G-Major to hear.
The studio went dead silent as Spied walked back next to me with a triumphant look. I wanted to punch him. THAT WASN'T EVEN TRUE! I have never dreamt about TOMMY, like THAT! Oh My GOD! I AM GOING TO SKIN HIM ALIVE. And then feed him to Liam's cats!
Wally snorted loudly, while it filled the hush in the room. I whipped around and almost got up to hit him but I saw Tommy shot a look that told Wally to shut-the-hell-up-or-I'll-punch-you-myself. When Tommy noticed my gaze he turned red and pretended to clean nonexistent dust off the stupid dials that I never knew the name for. The guys in the room looked uncomfortably at each other for at least 5 minutes of silence. I was about to verbally fry Spied alive when Portia rushed to the door.
"Could you keep your obscenities at a dull roar?" She requested before giving me a sympathetic glance. She mouthed I know honey before shutting the door softly.
"Its not true!" I shouted after her. I suddenly felt incredibly trapped in the studio. So I stood up and got right in Spied's face, making him stand up also. He looked at me challengingly but I saw a flash a fear glint in his eyes.
He was so going down.
I thrust my knee forwards with impressive force, coming in sharp contact with Spied's groin. I watched him double over in pain for a moment and then walked into the recording booth with Spiederman still on the floor.
I sat at the mike and cued for Tommy to start recording. He looked at me skeptically but I could tell he was afraid to challenge me. I strummed my guitar along with the riff of a Louis XIV song.
I sucked in a breath of air and called out "Oh Spied!" vaguely like those girls on that one radio station. Damn it, I can't remember which it was. But they call in whenever a celebrity's on and there this contest: Whoever fakes an orgasm the best wins a date with whoever was on the show. This was so Girls Behavin' Badly it wasn't even funny. Ok yea it was.
I continued to chant Spiederman's name in the microphone with staggered breaths. Alternating between "Oh yes! Spied!" and "Ohhhhh Spiederman." in a coaxingly naughty tone. I didn't stop until he pulled himself up and brushed himself off.
Go on and get dat dirt off your shoulder. Jay Z would love you, Spied.
"Finished?" He called.
"Are you?" I challenged in a puffed-up tone. He looked at me for a moment as if he were going to stare me down but then nodded acquiescently. I looked to Tommy who promptly chocked on his coffee and turned away from me. I guess I was pretty believable.
"White Lines?" Kwest asked me quietly after reading Tommy's notes.
"Yea." I said cheerfully and waited for them to cut the previous tape and start a new one.
SME joined me in the booth, Spied taking the corner farthest away from me with Kyle smirking and Wally staring at me a little too intently. If he thought I would give it up for him he was crazy. With my luck I'd get pregnant and everyone would go all Rosemary's Baby on me. I might throw myself of a Toronto bell-tower if they did. Do we have any bell towers? I guess a water tower would suffice.
"I tried to tell you
I've got to get away.
I tried to say
I need my space
I suddenly felt the uncontrollable need to giggle. I stifled it but I kinda chocked and hurt so I was late for the next line. I was lucky Tommy hadn't heard it before or he wouldda made me stay and record it for like ever. What a butt plug. I am so not in the right mood to be singing this song. I can't really be wanting to laugh while I sing these lyrics. Tommy is gonna be pissed when he listened back to it.
I got to get some distance
Between my heart and my head
I'm on the razor's edge…
I've been here before
I know the way
White Lines-"
Have way through my loud chant a large fist pounded against the door. Well I guess it had to be a big fist since it was so loud that I could hear it from inside the recording booth. It startled me and I trailed off, making me sound like I was strangling a hyena.
Like on of Mufasa's hyenas. Those poor bastards couldn't think for themselves so they followed the closest domineering personality that could give them some kind of direction in life. Kinda like all of the G-Major staff and Darius. Or that S 'n M thing with the whips and kinky stuff. Cue shudder here, please.
Darius walked in and signaled for Tommy and Kwest to come out. What a douche. He's the one who was bitching that I didn't have enough songs or whatever he was saying before. Tommy held his forefinger telling me to wait a minute. I huffed loudly but obliged. He looked behind me and I followed his gaze to see Spied cowering in the corner.
"Don't think I won't take that tape and sell it. Didn't you hear the profit Paris cut for hers? I was thinking I'd call it: Spiederman's Mind Explosion." I said menacingly and held my hands out in front of me like a newspaper heading. He smirked meanly and stuck his tongue out at me lightly.
"Now come on. You can find better things to do with that tongue. Much better…" I said suggestively and walked out. I looked at Craig who didn't turn away when he felt my gaze but laughed out loud.
"That was quite a show."
"Well I like to keep my audiences entertained." I told him and cocked my head quirkily. He nodded with appreciation with his bottom lip tucked in with his teeth.
"I think they're conferring about me." He told me pointing to the closed door.
"Sorry I guess I ruined your take… or whatever you call it." He said on laugh. He inched closer to me and I felt myself drawn like a magnet. I forgot about SME inevitably watching us, and the men who controlled my job on the other side of the door, and balanced on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear.
We seemed to pass Justin and Kelly as we headed straight for very Landon and Shavonda. But that didn't really matter because I'm stupid business-wise and anyone would have been able to talk me into a From Justin to Kelly in a heartbeat. But it would have been worse. Like the caliber of Glitter since I'm a suck-butt actress.
"Did you really think I would let you kill this chorus?" I asked in a husky whisper that surprised even me. God since when was I a sex kitten? He looked at me with a surprised smile. I watched him dip closer to my ear and while he exhaled I felt myself wobble slightly off balance.
"Well lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off." He said on a laugh.
I moved my head to within his line of vision. I smiled and unknowingly licked my lips. But when I felt myself shiver again after his breath hit them, I realized my lips were wet. He inhaled to say something while I leaned in closer to hear.
But the door suddenly swung open to reveal and extremely scary and irate Tommy Quincy. Freddy Kruger would be jealous. Since Tommy could pull off the scary as hell but still maintain sexy as hell. Tommy should have been a bouncer at the Freddy Vs. Jason fight thing.
He growled at Craig to please leave (at least he said please)"-my artist and I have things to discuss."
"Yea man, ok." Craig told him cheerfully and walked out of the room with a small wink my direction. I smiled but felt it melt immediately when I looked Tommy. He looked like there was a cat up his ass or something.
"What was that about?" He asked in a dangerous tone. And his face looked the cat was scratching his … insides.
"Nothing, Tommy." I challenged in tone that told him to Bring it On Again. I would so go Omarosa on his ass. For real. I would duke it out with the little bitch.
"Those, were the sparks I pretty sure Darius was talking about." He informed me. Really? I didn't catch that because I'm an idiot.
"I don't know what you're talking about Tom." I told him sharply.
I was lucky I wasn't spitting all over the place. Cause I really have a tendency to do that when I'm upset. Or singing. Kwest makes fun of me when he has to clean "my nasty girl slobber" off the microphones. Whatever, why is he cleaning them? I know Darius had a hired help to clothe him.
(But I guess he fired whoever the hell that was since he walked around with his shirt completely unbuttoned during the summer. Talk about severely traumatizing. I'm talking ICU traumatizing. Blunt force psyche trauma. McDreamy would have a hell of time fixing me if I ever saw him sans shirt. But whatever.)
"Just back off." I told him angrily and stormed into the recording booth. It's not like Tommy should be jealous. It wasn't like I was doing Craig. And I wasn't doing Tommy for that matter either. But I certainly wouldn't mind doing Tommy… hmmm.
"Jude!" He said irritably, cutting through my thoughts.
"What?" "Just finish the chorus and we'll go. Ok?" He said almost nicely. So now he wants to be friends. What a butt hole.
"Ok Tommy." I said mocking his tone and strumming my guitar slowly to warm up. I heard Spied huff irritably behind me and shot him a deadly look.
I was this close to telling Mason that Spied had a crush on him. And I know Mason thinks Spied is hot, cause he told me. And Spied is a freak.
"Chorus, guys." Tommy said reproachfully as Kwest joined him. Kwest said something very animatedly but I watched Tommy wave him off. What was that about?
Alright, that's it for Chapter 3, longest one yet, here's a peak at next time:
-Kwest explores the different ways to say sex, much to Tommy's dismay
-Stormy night. Empty house. Tommy and Jude...
-Liam shows Sadie the ropes of G-Major until the early morning
So please review, review, review tell me what you think! I promise to get chapter 4 out within the week:o)
