You guys are too nice! I love you all! I really want to thank: tommys 21 ((I still have no idea what to do with Craig, so have faith! And I'm vaguely known as crazy throughout my friends. They're quite a creative bunch lol! Coffee is my savior and my enemy all at once. But since exams are coming up I think the hot guy at Starbucks will be getting to know me lol! I'm rambling too, it's an affliction!))

Duddley111 ((lol, I actually based the kids off a few that I used to babysit. They were so mean to each other and their mom was more than off. She was totally weird lol. I actually did dance to an I-pod commercial with a friend that reminds me so much of Pasty in public. It was sad lol))

VilandraofAntar ((I am still laughing! Your friend sounds just like at least ten of mine! If she's anything like Pasty she rocks even harder! And maybe you should join track... it might save your life.))

CJMJM ((I totally love you! Cosequences is like my favorite story ever! And YAY! I'm getting promoted! Thank you so much, I'm glad you like this story enough to do that! And don't worry my family knows I'm insane. I go around quoting Instant Star and then laughing or yelling that Tommy left. They're used to it, lol))

Tommy4eva ((I hope the Truth or Dare scene pleases! I'm kinda nervous about it since I'm used to kinda a dirtier version of it lol!))

Latisha C ((I might cry if there were ever two Dariuses. I wouldn't know them, but they would upset the balance between good and evil. I liked Shay on the show, then I hated him and then at the season 1 finale I felt bad for him. He's different this chapter, and he pisses Tommy off a lot too lol!))

So here is chapter 8 already! I love you guys and I hope you like this chapter just as much! And I left Tommy singing NSYNC until later. ((It was Backstreet Boys, but I changed it lol)).

This chapter title is from the Snow Patrol song Spitting Games. I love that song and the name and I had to use it. And I don't own it either.

Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or anything else.


"Hey man" Shay said and grasped Spied's hand tightly.

I watched playing an impromptu game of Mercy.

"Hey. I'm Spied. Jude's Spied."

What? Where did that even come from? Stupid.

"Didn't you used to be Jude's Spied?" Ouch.

Shay one, Spied none.

"You watchin' her?" Spied asked suspiciously and shook Shay's hand harder.

"Yea man. And I listen to The Police in my little hide out." Shay confirmed sarcastically.

Shay two, Spied none.

"When you're not getting an infection from Eden?" Spied asked.

Shay two, Spied one.

"Nice one, Superman."

"It's Spiderman. I mean… Spiederman. You… fool."

HA! You fool? I think that Spied just wiped the floor with Shay.

"Why don't cha cut that hair man? It's all in ya face."

Oh, we're not finished…

"I like to let everyone know that I'm still fertile. You know, I don't have a receding hairline." He retaliated and pointed to Shay's head with his free hand.

If they don't stop one of them is gonna end up like that guy from Blue John Canyon who had to cut his own arm off. I looked over at Shay who had given up on shaking Spied's hand and just squeezed it roughly.

"But you could just ask Jude about that." WHAT?

UNCLE!

UNCLE!

I swear the Holy Jesus I was born under the unluckiest stars in the whole damn sky. "Ask her." Spied continued to egg Shay on until Tommy stepped in. "I suggest you stop talking. Right now." He growled and pulled Spied away from Shay.

Rather roughly I might add. It was more like Tommy was trying to see how hard he had to pull before Spied's head popped off. Spied just grunted in response while Tommy pulled him and Shay released his ninja grip. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles anyone?

I looked back at Tommy and Spied. "Sit right there." Tommy commanded.

I felt like we were back in kindergarten when Spied had to sit away from everyone else for like three weeks. I think it was because he dared us to eat the felt tips off the markers. I went around with a hot pink tongue for like two days. It looked like Wally ate Anti-Freeze. And Jamie threw up for like two days. (I swear he has the weakest stomach of anyone I know. If he ever leaves, but he won't because I won't let him, but just in case, I think the only memories of him I'll have are of him vomiting. That makes me a little sad.) I think Kyle was the only that didn't listen to Spied. But he got his first tattoo on a dare from Spied, so I guess no one's immune…

I watched Shay sit down a chair away from Spied and Tommy. I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder and I screamed, ready to take out who ever it was. I turned around in full karate stance and saw a chuckling Darius staring back at me.

"Go sit down by Shay-Shay." He said fondly. I wasn't about to argue because he could kung fu my ass into tomorrow, so I slumped my way over with Spied on my left and Shay on my right. Shay put a finger to his lips and motioned for me to listen to Tommy and Spied.

"Should I just ask Jude?" Tommy asked dangerously. Spied was being an ass and played the innocent. Cue scoff here.

"Ask her what dude?" Anger flashed through Tommy's eyes; if I were Spied I would run away.

"Just how fertile you are." I heard Spied gulp and Tommy advanced on him.

"But I'm still wondering how she would know." He continued. I DON'T KNOW! I swear!

"Well…uh… we, um…"

"You what Spiderman?" Spied shook his head like it would ease his predicament. What an ass.

"You show her your Spidey Senses? Huh?" Um gross.

I was about to defend my virginity when Shay hushed me again. "This can only get better." He told me. Hmmm. I guess he was right so I shut my mouth and continued to watch Spied act like the guiltiest perp in Law and Order: SVU history. I was just waiting for Ice-T or Munch to bust through a door and rough Spied up a bit or show him pictures of kiddy porn. I would laugh then look away.

I watched Wally step over with a smirk on his face and whispered between the two like he was in a Spy Kids movie. I'm thinking Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams but whatever. "You know Mr. Q Spied did make us leave the rehearsal space early one night. Said he wanted to show Jude something."

LIAR! Wally is a serious butt face and I am going to let the world know it. When he's not looking I'm going to ram his head so far up his butt that he'll be able to see his large intestine! And then I'll laugh!

I sat fuming, my face inevitably turning a lovely shade of lack-of-oxygen redand I felt my neurons stop firing. If I listened hard it sounded like a dying video game.

"Really Vince? Well what did you want to show her?" Tommy demanded. Tommy is the quintessence of the bad cop; I was just waiting for the Starsky to his Hutch to get there.

"I was… just… well, we never…" What the hell? He's incriminating himself. AND ME! What a butt. He will never make it in the world. He'll just sit on his ass on street corners and beg for money. And even then he'll manage to piss someone off and Pasty will finally get to see that bum fight.

"Well can I see?" Tommy pressed forward. Spied never showed me anything!

"He might get arrested for indecent exposure." Shay cut in from next to me. This insanity is ending right now!

"Spied never showed me anything. Wally is full of his own bullshit; as of right now I can still wear white to my wedding. Shay you're a butthead and Spied you better hope you're never under criminal interrogation because they would throw you in prison without even a trial. Did I cover all bases?"

"So you can't attest to Spied's… fruitfulness?" Wally asked incredulously.

"No, Wally, I cannot." Wally looked from me to Spied at least four times before dropping his jaw and widening his eyes.

"You liar." He said barely above a shocked whisper. What the hell do they talk about when I'm not there? Kyle came up and pulled his Dazed and Confused band member away from the other, preventing an SME bloodbath.

(No really, who says that? Jammy is too much like an old man for his own good.)

The flight attendant's pleasant voice chirped over the intercom. "Now boarding all those in business class for AirCanda flight 7258 departing from Toronto International Airport and arriving at John F. Kennedy International." SME and Jamie immediately looked to me for their tickets. I knew the chances of them losing their tickets would be higher since tour.

(After we finished the Canadian leg of the tour we were flying to the close parts of the U.S. and Spied thought it would be funny if he pretended to give a homeless guy his ticket outside the airport. He gave the poor man the ticket and told him there was promised land for him in Zimbabwe and just as the man grasped the ticket Spied yanked it back and ran away. Spied totally underestimated how fast the dude could run because he took off after him. It actually turned out to be an undercover mountee, trying to bust drug deals.

It was really funny but now Spied crosses to the opposite side of the street every time he sees a homeless person. He says that one day they'll break into our homes and force us to live in their boxes.

Then I tell him to stop being such an ass and that the cop thing was his own fault. Then we fight and I threaten him and then he says he's not above hitting a girl. Then I ask people will stop mistaking him for a girl if he cuts his hair. It gets messy and… It's just better if I keep his plane ticket.)

Just as I went to hand Spied his ticket he looked over at Shay with an accusatory glare. "People like you make me want to poop my pants." Spied told him. What the hell? No really.

What.

The.

Hell?

Shay and I stared at him for a silent moment, almost in reverence of the sickening stupidity of his statement. "He makes you…" "Want to physically defecate in your underwear?" Shay finished for me. I lost it right there. I burst out into the loudest laughter ever heard by the human ears.

What?

Defecation is a funny word. Shay looked at me and burst into similar peels of laughter as Spied stood there stupidly. "What? Are literally pooping your pants right now?" I asked him as his face strained in anger. I guess he didn't like being laughed at.

But come on "people like you make me what to poop my pants"… I have never heard a person express that. But now, I feel like poop is a constant in my dealings with Spied. I mean first the underwear debacle, and now this… proclamation? It's too much for one person to handle.

"Oh look. There's a huff and I'm leaving in it!" Spied shouted and stalked towards the plane. His grand exit was foiled when the flight attendant asked to see his ticket.

"Did he just quote Jack McFarland?" Jamie came up behind us, whispering his question to me. "Shhh" I hushed as I watched Spied trying to sweet talk his way past the gate. An icy look later, he was walking back solemnly with his head down.

"Hey, can I have my ticket Jude?" he mumbled.

"Speak louder! Your mumbling is really bumming me out!" I shouted, channeling Johnny Depp from the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory revival.

He reiterated his request as I relented and handed him his ticket and passport. Just in case. I passed them to him, stopping to compare his seat against my own. He wasn't sitting next to me but with a fleeting glance I saw that he was next to Shay. We trudged into the plane, almost all of G-Major following.

"Spied you get to have your own seat. No one should have to sit with you." I told him and patting Shay on the back empathically and handing him my bag to put in the overhead with a winning smile.

"Especially not with someone who makes you want to shit your pants." I clarified with another laugh as Tommy came down the aisle, looking at my red face and the reminiscent tears in my eyes and got up in Shay's grill.

Smile fo me daddy. Whacha lookin at? Let me see ya grill. Letcha see ma wha?

"Already, Shay-Shay?" He asked dangerously, obviously thinking that Shay made me cry. God Tommy was being mean this morning.

"Please Tom, what could Shay really say that could make me cry? That Eden says mean things about me? I wouldn't really want to know about that since they seem to jump each other whenever possible so any conversation they have could only be pillow talk." I told him as he backed down slowly while Shay shot me an incredulous look. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it with a huff.

"Here Saint Tommy, I seem to be blocking the entrance to your seat." Shay said with a pompous tone and the wave of his hand that motioned for the seat next to Spied. Tommy huffed irritably; I could tell he totally didn't want to sit with Spied. "It's either him or Pasty." I told him, my voice edging with ultimatum. The four of us looked across the aisle to Pasty who had her I-pod in and was screaming obscenities into her barf bag. While we watched, a cheery flight attendant asked her something with an enormous smile. Pasty's response was loud enough for the entire cabin to hear her and profane enough to get her kicked off.

"I will not be quiet, so go shove a dick as far up your butt as it will go. I recommend him. He's very well endowed." She screamed and pointed at Jamie. I

don't need to know why or how Pasty knows Jamie's…size. The woman gave her a questioning look, astounded by her anger but Pasty took it as a look that meant please-explain-what-you-meant-by-well-endowed

"His ding-dong is huge." She said, making Jamie blush like Hilary Duff whenever anyone would ask her about Frankie Muniz. (I'd be ashamed too. Big Fat Liar was not something to be proud of. I would never want to admit that I was having awkward sex with him either. Given that Hilary puts out, I'll have to ask that tattooed twin from Good Charlotte.)

E.J. rushed over at Pasty's last outburst, shuffling a wedge between the flight attendant and Pasty, trying to avoid a brawl. She said something inaudibly but I could hear the cash register clanging to keep Pasty's apparent Tourette's under wraps. (The Tourette's Guy is my life. I will marry him.)

We looked back at each other as Tommy quickly took the seat next to Spied without hesitation. "If I make him poop his pants, I can only imagine what Tommy does to him." He told me as we sank into our plushy seats. I looked over at him sharply.

What's that supposed to mean? It's not like Spied gets sudden urges to throw feces all the time. He can control himself. Sort of. "What do you mean?"

"He is your ex-boyfriend right."

"Yea."

"Ex, as in no longer with you."

"Yes…"

"There must be a reason for it."

"Not specifically."

"Right…" He said skeptically, but I caught him humming Pick Up the Pieces under his breath not so discreetly. I have a new philosophy because of people like Shay. It's my new life motto and I'm seriously going to stick to it.

(Unlike my previous one that was: Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends. I didn't really have any access to Champagne and my mom wouldn't let me walk around with a pair of scissors. "Why do you need those honey?" "Real Pain for My Sham Friends." She tried to get me to see a shrink but I just put the scissors back and she left me alone. I think my mom was afraid of me for a while.

I think she thought Sadie and I would goMendez Brothers on her and dad and kill them. But since dad moved out it would probably be harder. I guess Sadie and I would have to spilt up and each of us take one-

I need stop plotting this. This is potential pre-meditation. And even though I would never kill my mom or my dad, I learned all about this on CSI and Law and Order. I think I learn everything for TV. I mean, Saved by the Bell taught me innumerable life lessons. Particularly never to name my son Screech. It actually took me a while to figure out that was a nickname and his parents didn't name him Screech. It was a sad day in my life. I've decided to name my twin girls Jenna and Tailia. Now say them one after the one, really fast. Genitalia. That's funny! Oh my God, no one will ever marry me. And I even stole that from an SNL skit with Robert Deniro. I'm a sad, sad person.

But can I even express in words how much I loved Meet the Parents? I am waiting for the moment when I bring my fiancé home and he breaks an urn with grandmother's ashes in it and then the cat pees on them. I want to marry that scene. Seriously.

Or I want to marry Robert. Even though that would be weird because when he breathes, it's always all husky and he sorta can't breathe out of his nose. It's sad and I would probably force him to an early grave. Then people would think I only married him for his money, like Anna Nicole Smith. Even though I think she really loved her billionaire husband! I mean after he died, she gained the weight of three people and got a reality show where she cried and entered pie-eating contests on a regular basis. And now that she's all Trim Spa and feuding with Ryan Seacrest, she's more insane than ever. I mean she exposes her breasts at every possible moment. And she's on so much acid that even Keith Richards is like "Anna, come on mate. You're a bloody mess!" Poor, poor Anna.)

Are you ready for it? Up your butt. Fonze didn't seem to leave me alone at the shoot when I told him that, but I didn't say it with enough conviction. I can pull it off. It's concise, and succinct. Quite pithy actually. So I voiced this to Shay as the captain came over the intercom.

"Up your butt Shay." He looked over at me weirdly before laughing and wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Shorty, do you have a boyfriend."

"Seriously?" He wiggled his eyebrows in response. "You're a skeez." I told him on a laugh and released myself from his grip and the engines roared beneath us.

"You know you love me." Yea, ok Shay-Shay. I love you. Dumb ass.

"Like in an I-can't-seem-to-shake-you-kinda-way."

"See I was inspiration before you even met me."

"What?" Is he high? On life?

"I'm tryin' to shake you from my skin." He recited in my face. What a loser, who knows the words to my songs like that. Except me.

"Please, keep dreaming."

"You don't have to dream, I'm right here."

"Yea, so is your mom." I retorted as he chuckled at my stupidity. We talked for a few minutes but when the conversation lolled I watched him nodding off to sleep.

What a butt.

Am I that boring? I bet MTV would never want me on the Real World or one of those shows. I don't create enough fights. Except that I do. Tommy verbally assaulted Spied today, and that was sorta my fault. Indirectly. I wonder what would have happened if I had been on My Super Sweet Sixteen. I think Tommy might be in jail. Or fired. Or have a sex-offender record. I think it's better if MTV doesn't document my life. Seriously. If Ashley Parker Angel only knew the Soundtrack To My Life. I think on my sixteenth birthday that Wakefield song would be playing on a never-ending rotation. Un-Sweet Sixteen. Un-Sweet Sixteen…

A hush settled over the cabin and when I looked around I realized it was only G-Major up here. It must be good to be Darius. I only work for him and he pulls out the red carpet. I wonder if he'll do that when we land… I reached through my bag and pulled out my I-Pod, setting it shuffle. Songs passed as I dozed off into light unconsciousness. I jumped lightly when the pounding riff to Even Better Than the Real Thing filled my brain waves. I sang along softly feeling my energy replenish.

"EVEN BETTER THAN THE REAL THING!" I shouted with incredible falsetto.

I watched everyone collective jump, my singing pulling them from artificial slumber. If anyone acts like they were pulling a Rip VanWinkle I'll hit them. No one can really sleep on airplanes.

"Thanks Jude." Tommy whispered sarcastically from behind. I whipped my head around and saw his wry smile.

"Morning sleepyhead." I mimicked.

"I'm bored." Sadie announced from somewhere in the cabin.

I heard an unintelligible reply from Kwest, followed by Sadie's giggles. Gross. Sadie and Kwest. Well… I guess I could see that, if I squinty really hard. From next to Tommy I heard Spied's enormous inhale.

"I have an idea."

"No one's gonna tie your shoes, Spied. You'll have do it on your own some day." E.J. told him.

"No, I was thinking more like a little game…" Dr. Evil anyone? He might as well steeple his fingers together, stroke a complacent looking cat and laugh his evil, maniacal laugh. I've heard it; it would make Quail Man quake in his tightie-whities. "Spitting Games?" I asked with a laugh.

"No more like, Seven Minutes in Heaven…"

"I'm not gonna make out with you Spied." E.J. yelled from across the plane.

"Neither will I." Sadie concurred. I was sure Portia would have added here two cents right there, not to be out done by E.J., but when I looked over I saw her seat was vacated.

"Been there, done that." I said. It left Pasty who wiggled her eyebrows at him suggestively. Hmmm, I could see that. But Spied couldn't and shuddered violently.

"How about a nice round of… truth or dare." He suggested instead.

I am so not going to streak like I did on tour. That was just stupid. Everyone seemed receptive so we looked to Spied to start. He looked around judgingly.

"We can't play like this." He announced and motioned for every one to assemble in either the aisle or the seats that surrounded the aisle. I found myself squished in a seat between Sadie and Kyle. He looked past Kyle's blonde head, trying to see Spied.

"Ok…" He started and looked around for his first victim. And I do mean victim. He's like a Truth or Dare sadist. (I'll never know how he did it, but once on Tour Bus Betty I walked into a T&D and Kyle and Wally were re-enacting the Romeo and Juliet balcony scene while Spied taped it. Actually they were both reciting butchered Romeo lines and then got into a fist fight over who had to be Juliet when Spied just laughed like an ass and shoved popcorn in his mouth.)

Spied rubbed his hands together looking around the group and licking his lips like a psychopath. I shrunk away from his line of vision, hiding myself behind Kyle.

"Alright…Kwest. Truth or Dare?" He threatened almost murderously. I would have never picked Kwest first but Spied has a way about him… chilling. Like that weird freak from Saw but I don't think he would make anyone saw their arm off.

"Truth." Kwest said definitively. Playing it safe. He is a wise, wise man.

"No, you pick dare." Spied corrected him quickly. I started laughing but got a dirty look from Kwest. What? It was funny. Spied and Kwest promptly stared each other down.

Kwest finally broke, "Ok fine. Dare." Spied scratched his imaginary bread as if he were thinking of something. Yea right. He probably has like ten right now.

"I. Dare. You. To… go into the cockpit and flash the co-pilot." He pronounced.

"I pick truth." Kwest said quickly.

"Fine. If you had to do anyone, who would it be?" Spied said, motioning around to the group we had assembled. Kwest looked around seriously, as he opened his mouth to answer. "You can't say no one and if you lie… I'll know." Spied said cryptically.

Ok he may be the master of Truth or Dare but he's not God. He's not even Tom Cruise. So basically he's no one. Not until he eats a placenta or parts a sea. I watched Kwest shift in his seat uncomfortably, I felt bad for him. But suddenly Sadie slithered past Wally and I and dropped down next to Spied, whispering something in his ear.

Spied felt Sadie's breath tickling his ear and immediately felt his blood shoot down south.

"Hey Spied…" She started breathily. He nodded his head in response. "Kwest's still a…virgin. He's saving himself for Mini Driver." She told him, lying through her teeth. Spied pulled away, looking at Kwest very different.

"Yea, I get it dude. I think it's your turn now." Spied said brushing off his truth.

Kwest looked at Sadie suspiciously as did everyone else. She slipped back next to me with a self-satisfied look on her face. I think she just offered him a blowjob, but I don't really know.

And that's even grosser than thinking about J.C. Chasez in a lesbian club. I mean really girls that dance with women who wrote that? They need to get the hell off whatever they're smoking, it's playing with their mind, motor skills, and just generally ability to judge hot from creepy.

Kwest looked around again as his eyes settled on E.J. and then he looked down at her feet. She was wearing open toed, gladiator style sandals with a strap that went up her heel while the other end revealed a perfect pedicure. Gawd, she's worse than a metrosexual P.Diddy. No I take that back, the only worse than him is the alien I like to call Ryan Seacrest.

If I ever saw him in a brightly lighted room I would give him my brush and run away in fear that he would eat me or something. He's like the Coneheads. I mean even Dan Aykroyd is like "dude, you're weird."

"E.J. Truth or Dare?" She looked up from her Blackberry, obviously unaware that she had just joined the game. Surprise, surprise!

"Um… truth." She said, waving him off with her hand like he was a bug buzzing in her face. Kwest looked obviously pleased with himself as he looked back at her feet one last time before he opened his mouth to say something. Does he have a fetish or something? I mean he's being really weird.

"Have you ever bitten your toenails?" He asked in a tone that made me think he already knew the answer. Ew maybe he's caught her before… gross. No really gross.

I can totally imagine E.J. like swinging her foot up her desk and whipping off her stilettos and shoving her foot in her mouth and biting the hell outta her feet. Ok that was disgusting. I looked over at E.J., still imagining the nastiness and I couldn't hold back a shudder. Tommy laughed from behind me when I looked over at him I realized he had seen my trembling.

"No Kwest." She said with a dangerous look but a tone that would make even Spied look more innocent.

"Well then if you're telling the truth, then it's your turn." E.J. blushed again but I could see the wheels in her head spinning.

"Hey Portia." HEY WHAT? It's like Bring it On all over again. Please someone slap my forehead for me.

We looked around for some response from her but only silence met us.

"I think she's peeing." Wally said and pointed to the bathroom. Thanks Bill. "Fine…" she looked around again and zeroed in on Darius.

"Truth or Dare Darius?"

"Dare." He said pompously and readjusting the lapels of his coat. Loser. Poser. Butt-face. I could go on.

"I dare you… to act out your best naughty teacher/bad schoolboy with Liam. Right here."

"E.J.!" I shouted without being able to help it. OH MY GOD! I didn't think E.J.'s mind would ever work that way! She's worse than Spied!

Who, b-t-w, promptly choked on his own spit after E.J. dared her boss. Darius looked back at her, stone-faced, and left no doubt that he would not being doing anything of the sort with Liam. Ever. Well… not for public consumption. Tommy shook with silent laughter as I watched him from the gap between the seats.

"Shhh. I wanna see if he'll do it." I told him.

Screen liquefies as Wayne and Garth cue the daydream with their daydream… noise thing. "I've been going over your current exercises young man." Darius says, holding a paper in his hands with visible red marks and corrections all over it. "Yes sir. How do they look?" Liam questions shyly from across the room. Darius approaches him slowly holding his paper so that Liam can see. "Not very good. But there are things you could do to… rectify your wrongs." Darius utters suggestively. "What kind of things, sir?" Liam asks, his timidity melting away with his saucy look…

"AH!" I screamed and shook myself. OH MY GOD! I need to hole myself underground! AH! I feel so dirty and violated! I need to shower! E.J. huffed irritably.

"Fine, truth?" She asked. Darius looked at her with a pout for a moment before turning his head away from he like a petulant three year old. He's like that annoying kid from Who's the Boss? What a douche…hole.

Yes, I said it: douche hole.

E.J. huffed at his stupidity again before another sneaky smile spread across her features. Uh-oh. "If I offered you $10,000, no strings attached, would you condone Portia and Liam getting… intimate?"

OH MY GOD! Does E.J. have a fetish? Gross! Totally gross. "No E.J. I would not."

Darius said and looked around murderously for Liam, just to mark a line not to cross with him. Ever. But Liam was nowhere in sight either. Whatever, he's probably looking at himself or something.

"But I believe it's my turn." Darius said with a smug look. Screw him.

"Jude, truth or dare." What the hell? Which one of the Fates is sitting up there and looking down at me and laughing. When I meet her, she might want to dodge the scissors I plan to throw at her.

"Dare, Big D." I said, mocking his stupid nickname and radiating vibes of Bring it on biatch! I was still waiting for him to launch a solo career and change is name to Master Daddy or something gangster like that. He scratched his chin as Spied had earlier and reminding me of Shaft only… fruitier. And less imposing.

"Alright, Jude. After your performance tomorrow night, I dare you to pull Shay-Shay up on stage and give him a big kiss." He said with an air of go-ahead-say-no-I'll-fire-your-ass. He was planning that!

BIG STUPID ASS! I will do nothing of the sort!

"No."

"Yes." Shay cut in.

"Shut up." Tommy barked at him with his face growing red. "What would that achieve D?" He asked dangerously. "I think Jude's music is enough to get people's attention." He continued while his nostrils flaring like a hippo's. Oh Shit.

"No Tom. I think it's a good idea. It would get the romantic rumor's churning something different."

"Yea St. T, you seemed awfully upset when they were talking about you and Jude. It could be me and Jude again." Shay said.

"Um, no it couldn't." I interjected.

"Do you really think that a good idea?" Tommy challenged.

"I don't think it's a bad idea." Shay said cockily. I guess no one heard me. I'll try again.

"I think it's my turn now." I said loudly.

"Shut up, Shay-Shay. I don't think anyone asked you."

"Hey T. He's got a say in this." Darius pronounced, defending his nephew. WHAT ABOUT ME?

"Well what about Jude?" E.J. put in.

I love you E.J. I am eternally devoted to you. But I won't ever tell you because then you would exploit me. But mentally, I'm with you.

"I think I would not like that. At all." I told everyone.

Darius, Tommy and Shay all opened their mouths to A) prove a point

B) defend himself and

C) threaten my contract again when the pilot came over the intercom. I whipped my head towards the cockpit out of instinct. I bet this was a fire hazard. Maybe we could stop this torture!

"Hello, this is you captain Steve speaking. We've reached an altitude where it is now safe to turn on all electrical appliances and walk around the cabin. Flight attendants will be around with the refreshment cart soon." Damn it! But his interruption gave me the perfect opportunity to break up the lively discussion about my pending SNL performance and the publicity stunt I may or may not be pulling. I looked around quickly.

"SpiedTruthorDare?" I spat out but then covered my mouth. I didn't really want to truth or dare Spied.

"Dare, Harrison." I slumped back, bumping Sadie's arm as I did. She huffed loudly. Whore. She didn't say anything before but she pouts when I bump her arm. Whore.

"I dare you… to…" I sat thinking as Wally's head popped from behind me and next to Tommy. AHA! "I dare you to go in the bathroom with Kyle, and switch clothes. Completely. Even your underwear."

"Well how'll we know they won't cheat?" Pasty snarled and stared at Spied some more.

Does she have a crush on him? No really, it's kinda getting weird. Like that one episode of That 70's Show when Eric asked that girl out, who worked with him and his dad, and it turned out that she had a crush on Red. And then in the storage room she totally came onto him. That was the funniest/creepiest thing ever.

And now, I'm thinking of time that Kat made out with my dad. OH MY GOD GROSS! I am not thinking about that anymore. Don't you remember Jude? That never happened. Right, Jude, you're right. Jude, why are you speaking to yourself in the third person? Because I don't think well under disgusted duress, Jude. Right Jude, I forgot. Yes well, Jude, that's why I'm here.

"Well show them to us right now." Wally said. What's going on outside my instable mind? Oh yeah, Truth or Dare.

"Yea, show us now." I concurred. Kyle looked back at me like I had just stabbed him.

"You forfeit all pouting rights when you join in." I said blowing lies outta my ass.

We communally looked to Spied who, this time, should have lied. But I guess he wanted to uphold the integrity of the game. Like paintball or whatever. But maybe he's just a dumbass. Or he wants to see Kyle down and dirty. Gross. He shook his head solemnly while he stood up and revealed his boxer-clad butt. Kyle huffed and started for the door.

Wait a minute bucko!

"You have show us yours Kyle!" I taunted.

"Well… we know what his look like, so we don't have to see mine, right."

"Oh my God, are you going commando?" I asked, because then I would totally take back my dare. Actually I probably already should, I mean Spied has a bad track record for clean underwear and he did say that Shay made him want to poop. Uh-oh.

"No Jude. I'm wearing underwear."

"Then show 'em!" Pasty said enthusiastically.

If I were Jamie I would be jealous. But I'm not. Everyone seemed to nod his or her head in encouragement. Kyle relented with a sigh and slowly pulled down his shorts. I saw the waistband and as he shorts sagged further I had to do about seventeen takes.

"Is that…"

"you?"

OH MY GOD! It's like that Gilmore Girls episode when Jackson had pajamas decorated with his old wresting pictures! I burst out laughing like I was insane as I wiped the tears trying to look harder at his butt. Shay whipped out his phone and took numerous pictures within 5 seconds. Why Kyle wasn't pulling up his pants, was beyond me.

"Come on! Change Clothes and GO!" I shouted and ushered the two towards the bathroom.

"It's occupied." Spied said with an innocent shrug. "Guess you'll have to give me a new dare Harrison." He said loudly and stupidly. Jamie pointed to the back of the plane. "

There's another one Spiederman." He said one a laugh. I heard about Spied bashing him the side with a caveman club at my birthday party… Was this like extra pay back?

"Fine, but I leave with this…" Spied said as Kyle made his way to the back.

"Truth or Dare Quincy?"

"Dare." He said without hesitation.

"Care to relive when you lost your virginity? And narrate for the group?"

Oh my God, it's like Mother Goose gone horribly, horribly wrong. Spied flashed a wide smile before joining Kyle.

Tommy shifted uncomfortably under everyone's gaze. I think Darius' was the most intense. I guess he was assuming Tommy stayed a virgin tell marriage, which would make Portia his first time. But you know what happens when you assume, you make an ASS of U and ME. Tommy cleared his throat shakily and pulling at his collar like it was chocking him.

Cut to the Bathroom with Spied and Kyle…

"Dude, close your eyes RIGHT NOW!" Spied shouted and nearly fell over the sink. From behind he covered face Kyle sighed.

"Why don't I just stand out there and pretend I was in here!" Spied stopped unbuckling his pants for a moment.

"Then we would all just cheat."

"That didn't stop you during exams last year!"

"And look where that got me! I cheated of Jude and I put Boyz Attack! lyrics all over my paper." Kyle dropped his hands to look at Spied, who slapped his forehead with a low and grunting "DUH!" He looked back at him incredulously for moment.

"Dude Close. Your. Eyes." He said again.

Cut to Story Time with Tommy

"-and, uh, we got back to my house." He looked around.

"Narrate pretty boy." Pasty demanded. Does she want to know that much?

"So I poured her a glass of wine."

"You just said you were fifteen!" I shouted, still reeling that I had two years on slutty-little-boy-Tommy. He looked back at me.

"My dad had a wine cellar in the basement."

"Oh." I said quietly.

"And I asked her about school, and if people missed me… and then she said she wanted a tour." He told us, after explaining that she was a junior from his school.

"But you told me you didn't go after 7th grade!" Sadie shouted and covered her mouth with her hand sheepishly. Everyone knows stupid. Tommy continued, explaining his bit. "I had come home for a tour and she recognized me from Boyz Attack! and her mom had been my sixth grade teacher and she also remembered me from the time she came to visit her mom." He said with an annoyed look at Sadie. She asked for it.

"So I took her around and then we go to my room…" He gulped loudly. What a drama queen. He looked around at us with an exasperated expression.

"Oh come on! Can't you connect the dots?"

1,2,3,4 CONNECT FOUR! Sorry…

"Narrate pretty boy." Pasty growled again. God, patient much?

I wonder if Jamie gets any foreplay. OH MY GOD! DID I JUST THINK THAT? I so blame Spied. He's sullying my mind!

Cut to Spied and Kyle…

"Don't you dare open your eyes."

"Like I would want to dude." Spied scoffed. "My boat don't float down that river, if you know what I mean…" Spied finished.

"Do you think I'm stupid? Actually don't answer that." Kyle asked

"I am not the one who gave that crazy man Jude's number."

"I didn't mean to!"

"What did he get you drunk first? Like Hagrid and Voldemort in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone?" Kyle successfully zipped his fly and stood staring at Spied.

"Did you just bring up Harry Potter again? Because we had that rule on tour for a reason…"

"Shut up."

"I get it. So does Wally. Hermione is potentially hot, but you just freaked Jude out."

"Shut up."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. Just more proof of your fertility."

"Shut up." He demanded as they made their way out.

"Come on, it's totally normal to take care of it in the shower too."

"Shut up!" "You just may not have wanted to use Jude's." Spied noticed the people around them start to listen as they made their way through coach.

"SHUT UP!" He shouted making numerous heads turn. He blushed shyly and ducked his head while Kyle flirted with the flight attendant.

Back to Story Time with Tommy still in progress

"And when we finished…" he hung his head in shame before muttering almost incoherently, "when I was finished, she asked 'is that it?' and… laughed."

OH MY GOD! No wonder he has more sex than Jenna Jamison! He's trying to make up for that! Oh my God! Did he remember that Shay was still there?

And Jamie?

And Wally, who dislikes him in solidarity with Jamie and Spied? Wow… people don't like Tommy that much.

I saw an ashamed Spied and a gloating Kyle come back, completely wardrobe switched. Janet needs to take some lessons, their boobs weren't all falling out. Whatever.

"Drop 'em." E.J. said as Spied and Kyle showed their underwear.

"Spied's got Kyle in his pants!" I said loudly. Spied looks like he's gonna hit me and I think Kyle's about to cry. Mason laughed loudly from somewhere in the cabin. I love Mason.

"Who'd Tommy T or D?" Spied asked.

I pointed to Shay who was still "riding an arm rest like a mechanical bull" at Tommy's request.

"You can stop now." Tommy told him with a mocking laugh. Shay rejoined the group quietly and looked to me again.

"Jude, Truth or Dare."

"Truth." I said realizing everyone had avoided that since E.J.

"Who was your best kiss?" He asked cockily. Not you. I thought about it for a minute.

"Tommy." I said without hesitation. Everyone, but Sadie, looked at me for a shocked moment. Did I just say that out loud?

"I mean… I pick dare! That's what I said!" I said menacingly, my tone daring anyone to ask me about it.

"Ok… Strip." Shay told me.

WHAT? "WHAT?"

"Strip Jude… strip."

"No."

"Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip." Shay chanted as Spied joined in.

"NO!" I shouted over them. Spied challenged me for a minute then relented.

I think he was remembering the time I threw plastic forks at him on tour when I caught him in my shower, calling out Hermione and… feeling himself. GROSS! GROSS! There's a reason I haven't told anyone. Well two.

1) Blackmail

2)I never want to say that out loud.

"Alright your turn again Jude."

"Can we hold off on that for like a minute?"

"Why, you scared Harrison?" Spied taunted me. Oh yes, he's revealed my deepest secret. People are stupid.

"No, I have to pee and I don't wanna miss anything." I said and pushed myself towards the first cabin's bathroom. I inhaled, mustering any bravery I could, and pushed the small handle lightly.

(I have a deathly fear of airplane toilets. I'm always convinced something awful will happen while I'm peeing and I won't have enough time to get out and then the ocean'll rush into the whole plane and I'll be stuck in the bathroom for ever. And of course the water will seep through the crack in the door and the small vestibule will fill up faster than anything else and I'll die first. I've thought about this a lot. And please don't get me started on the huge sucking noise they make when the toilet flushes! I'll start to cry.)

I recoiled immediately. "GROSS!" I cursed loudly, finding where Portia had been. And who with… GROSS! Oh my God… I feel so dirty. And I couldn't look away. What is wrong with me?


That's all for chapter 8, but the next one picks up right after. I hope you guys liked it! Here are a few sneaks at next time:

-Someone's job is on the line

-Jude's photo shoot for SNL

-The kissing Shay fight is brought about again.

So please review, tell me what you think! You guys always make me so happy and I love you for it:o)