4 – "They have no heart and they have no soul. I know because they cannot function with those who do. For that reason, they will steal away the souls of others."

Renee and I. Where do we stand in all of this? It's hard to tell. I love her…at least I think I do. She's always been there for me. I think she loves me, but I'm still uncertain. Malley's right, though. She deserves better than me. I toy with her emotions because I'm too afraid to express my own. I just cannot forget what I was like before now. If only I knew then what I do now. I hurt Auger because I couldn't control my emotions. In fact, I nearly killed him. I can understand why the priests are so afraid of emotions. They can be deadly tools if used in an inappropriate manner. Because of all of this, I fear being myself around Renee. I know I shouldn't. I should feel comfortable around her, but I can't shake this terrible feeling that I'm not good enough for her.

Hypothesis: Renee and I belong together, and I should give into my feelings.

Logically, I analyze the situation. Renee is and always will be the breadwinner in this relationship. She makes more money than me. She has the bigger house—Who am I kidding? I have no house! I live in a damn room below a nightclub. I make enough money, but not nearly as much as Renee. I actually care more about humanity than I do my own job, especially since Da'an left. Renee does too, but her job will always come first. It's the best and only cover she has for what she does at nights. Obviously, the socio-economic gap between us is immense. How do you have a relationship with a woman who makes more money than you without coming across as a freeloader? The same logic works in the opposite situation. If the man is filthy rich and the woman is of a lower class, she's a slut. If the woman is rich and the man is in a lower class, he's just a boy toy and a freeloader. I'm not comfortable in all the seminars, balls, and ceremonies Renee takes me to. Suits are itchy to me, I have to use a clip tie because I couldn't tie a real one to save my life, I despise truffles and caviar, and everybody who attends those things is a snob. I'm not even comfortable looking at Renee's maids and butlers wandering around her house right now. I only put up with it because I care for Renee, but how much more of this can I take? Can this work? Is Malley right? Is Renee really out of my league?

Emotionally, I analyze the situation. Renee is more expressive of her feelings towards me. I don't know why. It started when we returned from Nye's ritual. She said she felt like the time we had with people is precious, and we should let each other know everyday how much we care. She only told this to me, and she only acts this way around me. It's a sign I should act too. I should return her emotions and acknowledge my own feelings for her. Funny how just over a year ago, she was stressing the exact opposite. "What's the point of getting to know people if you're never gonna see them again?" What changed? I should return Renee's feelings. I do inside. She's the only sanity in this madness…well, she is now. Why in the hell can't I just give into my passions and spend one romantic night with her? How easy and how sweet it is, yet I am static and cowardly! Does she deserve a man completely out of touch with himself and his emotions? Does Renee deserve a coward?

Ethically, I analyze the situation. Ethically? Am I stupid? Love is beyond ethics! Every poem and romantic novel acknowledges that. No, but rather passion is beyond ethics. I'm having trouble deciding whether love and passion are one and the same. I doubt they are, but if they are not the same, which begets what? Does love beget passion, or does passion beget love? Maybe love is a dignified passion. That would explain how love lasts even when passion fades away. Love is the everlasting product of a relationship. It is the greatest gift you can give your partner. If love is the product of our relationship, ethically I should give into my feelings. Renee loves me deeply. Out of respect and dignity, I should take the next step and marry her or, at the least, establish some form of romantic relationship. But on the same token, I am more concerned about humanity as a whole than my own self. It is my duty to free the human race from the illusion the Taelons have impressed upon them. My duty is to save the world. My duty is to open humanity's eyes and be the man Ha'gel meant for me to be. I am the Kimeran solution, but where do I as an individual stand? Where does any relationship with anyone stand in this? My ethical priorities are not fully straight, but initial analysis states that my duty comes before my pleasures. Business before pleasure. After all, humanity will not wait for me.

Conclusion: Even though Renee and I care for each other deeply, I believe time to take care of our problems at hand is needed before we establish a relationship. Emotionally, ethically, and logically, there are way too many barriers. Acting too early would hurt us more than we already are. Acting too late, however, will result in loss of interest. Renee will give up on me and find someone who is ready to commit. Someone like Joshua Doors. She will find someone who can treat her better than I ever will. I don't want to lose her, either way, but I don't want to feel rushed into this. I don't want to feel like I have to do this.

Plus…all the time I have been analyzing this, my mind drifts to Da'an…


Hy'li the replacement of Ba'hor had been warned of the possible threat, but he displayed no concern. All he did was take his assigned protector with him everywhere he went. His protector was quite young, but not inexperienced. Hy'li knew the man had a name, but considering he had only been with him for a few days, he had little time to memorize it. He just called the man protector. Unlike his fellow Synod members, Hy'li did not waste his time getting involved with humans. As T'than had taught him, one cannot be a student to inferior intellect.

His fellow companion, Bu'ma was with him. Bu'ma was the Western European Companion. His protector was not with him just because Bu'ma did not trust her with such vital information. At least Hy'li's protector would keep his mouth shut. His protector had taken her alleged allegiance to Zo'or way too seriously. She told him everything that went on in his embassy, just as Zo'or had requested. She was a straight up, by-the-book kind of woman. He hated her kind. Funny, though. Hy'li would have loved to have a protector like her.

Right now, they were on their way to meet T'than.

"Wait!" the protector said. "I think I heard something."

"That would be feedback from your implant," Hy'li said haughtily. "Out of my way."

Those were the last words Hy'li would speak. For seconds before he reached the portal he was stabbed. The protector immediately reacted, but it was all for naught. He was thrown across the hall by a powerful blast, a blast that killed him before he even hit the floor. Bu'ma had made a mad dash for the alarm, and did manage to pull it. However, he was dead before the volunteers came to his rescue. Not one of them saw the attacker.


Elaine should have killed Hubble for this! She should not be here, especially at night. However, Hubble had sent her to download the monthly password in the embassy files and send it to Auger. He thought that as a psychic, she would be able to do it. If he only knew! She was not that kind of psychic! Terrible images had been plaguing her, but she had not the heart to tell Liam. What it was about, she did not know. She would have to dig deeper. Realizing she was breaking Ma'el's clear rule, she would have to dig deeper. She had not the time to wait. So much pressure to come up with a face! I hate him! This is not my power. It is his. It belongs to me, yet he curses me with it. And for what? A destiny that is not my own! It is his destiny! His vision! I do not want to be a pawn! I am not your pawn, brother!

Her brutal thoughts were interrupted by a set of cold hands that pulled her into an even colder body.

"Did you think you could escape my senses?" a raspy voice whispered harshly. "I know who you are, traitor. I could sense it the moment you walked in my office." He pulled her hair back, forcing her to gaze upward into his face.

"Damn you, T'than!"

"Abomination!" he shot back. "I could kill you right here and right now, something your pathetic child never had the spine to do, Da'an."

"I speak to a dead man," Da'an whispered.

"Tell me, did you willingly submit to Nye's temptations, or were you forced into this abomination?"

"I make my own choices," Da'an said tonelessly.

"So I see."

"But that is not what you want, is it? Or else you would have killed me. You do not fear Nye. She is harmless."

"I know the true reason why you are here. Did you think we were so blind? We know of your former protector's affiliations with the resistance."

"Which one?"

"Do not play games with me!"

"Who plays games? There are two former protectors of mine who had affiliations with the resistance: Boone and Kincaid. I want to know which one you are referring to. After all, there is no need to fear a dead man."

"Then, you admit Kincaid is a traitor just like you."

"Admit? He is the one who talked me into it, but why should I bother explaining my actions to a fellow dissenter?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I can hear your dirty thoughts!" Da'an whispered harshly. Her eyes turned red. "You can't stand."

T'than suddenly felt his legs give way, and he plummeted to the floor. He tried to stand, but his legs were too heavy. They were like two lead weights.

"He lifts his right hand and stiffens his fingers like the talons of a hawk," a strange voice coming from Da'an's mouth said.

His mind was straining to disobey, but something in Da'an's made him follow her directions. His right hand stiffened into a claw-like position.

"He digs into his left shoulder as if it is a scrap of meat."

T'than tried everything to keep his hand from obeying. He even tried closing his eyes to prevent his own mind from seeing it. But he knew his attempted failed when he felt the pain of his own hand digging into his shoulder. "S-Stop it," he whispered, trying to fight the pain. "You have made your point. Enough!"

Da'an shook her head and watched T'than release his own shoulder.

He could have called security at any time, but he did not. Instead he stood, allowing his body to heal the wound, and gazed into the eyes of his former associate. "You have changed. You are not the Da'an I once knew."

"I am nothing. I am the whole. I am the river, the rain, and the sky. Split the sky with lightning and I am there. Melt the ice with fire, and I rise."

"Rain, steam—water. The old legend of the water god," T'than recalled. "He and the other gods of the elements of life got in a contest. Everyone thought he would lose because he was so tranquil and peaceful. It was what made him so nonviolent. Water did not believe in battle. Water believed all problems could be solved diplomatically. They thought he lacked the courage to battle them. Wind, Earth, Fire and Lightning all dealt their hands against him, using their most powerful tricks. Earth tried to bury him in an earthquake, but instead, he eroded Earth. Fire tried to melt him, but he rose as steam. Lighting tried to slice him into pieces, and he thought he had succeeded. However, Water fell as rain and reconstituted himself. Wind tried to blow him away, but Water returned as a tidal wave. It was Ma'el's favorite legend, not so?"

"We all knew Ma'el."

"Those are Ma'el's gifts. Telepathy, foresight, and the ability to control the thoughts of others. But how?"

"Your pride and your greed overpower your logic."

"But not my astuteness. It was you who sabotaged Ma'el's labyrinth and left my poor agent Deladier for dead."

"You offered her riches beyond her wildest dreams. Did you ever intend to make good on your offer?"

T'than laughed. "Not in the least. I may have given her a better rank and a better position with me. I may have even spared her when humanity's hour finally came. But riches and wealth? No way. I would never commit such audacious blasphemy."

"You consider money and wealth blasphemy, yet you consider lying and cheating a way of life. You carry the aural odor of a hypocrite."

"While I may not value money or wealth, I do value power. To take out one whole side of a mountain and walk away as if it were nothing, to control the thoughts of others, to see things before they happen—that is real power. You must be tormented. Yet…you could be of some use to me. You could assist me where Deladier failed."

"Indeed," Da'an said.

"Your powers of foresight could aid our cause tremendously."

"You are an agent of the priests. It was you, wasn't it? You killed Agent Reyes because the priests told you to."

"I would have liked to, but it was not me. You know this. You can read minds."

"Just because I can read minds, it does not mean that I choose to! People like you. Always planning, always scheming. Your minds are chaotic with hundreds of thoughts speaking at once! Hundreds of damnable voices coming at me in every direction! They won't shut up!"

The lights in the embassy all went off at once. In the dark, T'than could see Da'an's red eyes glowing. She had dropped to her side and began jerking and spasing. In his office, the small hanging pipes where T'than's energy shower came through ripped from their holdings and crashed on the floor. Da'an's right arm clawed at the floor as another vision blazed through her mind. It was a terrible vision, but it was a clear vision. She understood now. She understood what her previous visions meant.

T'than kneeled over and took Da'an by the arms. She jerked violently as he pulled her back to his chest.

"You would like to learn how to control this power of yours, not so?" T'than whispered. "I can help you do this. I can introduce you to the priests. They can help you."

"You live in a prison. I can't live in a prison," Da'an said quickly, as she worked to recover from her vision.

"It is not a prison, Da'an. It is our security. You once saw as I do, you know this. You were their best student."

The lights in the embassy flickered back on.

This time, Da'an winced from the thoughts and images coming to her from T'than's mind. "You-You know. You have been cleansed. You are just as I was."

"I was one of the first," T'than said calmly. "I was cleansed before I even came to this planet. When Zo'or began to stray from the agenda, I was sent to dispose of him and put our species back on track. However, Zo'or proved much more…slippery than I had anticipated. Your security on him is quite strong. But you…hmm, the priests told me about you. They told me everything. Why do you think I told you that my original purpose was to make you the new leader of the Synod in Zo'or's place? I meant it, Da'an. That was always the priests' plan from the beginning. But Quo'on and his sub-par family betrayed the priests and elected Quo'on as the new leader when Ka'li was killed. This was the first mistake. Then, when Quo'on finally died, they chose Zo'or over you because they felt you were a threat to their success. The Zunus'to hatred of the Amo'qui apparently never goes away. That was their second mistake. And then, you left with Nye, something the priests never imagined you would do. As you can see, Da'an, the priests and I are quite tired of mistakes."

"What are you going to do with me?" Da'an panted.

"They still believe that you can be saved, Da'an," T'than said. "There is still hope for you. Even after all you have done, the priests are still willing to let you rejoin the Commonality."

"No one can save me," Da'an whispered.

"Ma'el's gifts are overpowering your own will. They are driving you mad."

Da'an suddenly let out a deep gasp. Her eyes were fully blue now, and she panted as if she had emerged from a terrible nightmare. "Oh no. You have to let me go. I have to stop him. I have to save him!"

"We can help you, Da'an."

"You would never help me," Da'an said firmly, jerking out of T'than's arms only because he let her. "You just want to use me to kill Zo'or. I will not help you do that. You will have to kill me."

"That is not true at all. We both want Zo'or to be punished for his sins. We want him to face that UN trial, you of all people especially. After all, you will be the main subject of the trial. From what the UN companion has told me, the only thing keeping them from arresting Zo'or now is paranoia over lack of sufficient evidence to convict him. If your desire is to see Zo'or live, I can help you do that. I can convince the Synod and the UN to let him live. Let us work together. Let us work this one time to put him away once and for all."

"And you will take Zo'or's place as leader of the Synod."

"No, not me. That decision is left to the discretion of the priests. But they will teach you to control Ma'el's powers. They can save you from insanity. I swear that no harm will come to you or your allies. All the priests want is you."

"For what purpose? What is your agenda?"

"I will not insult your intelligence, Da'an. You know damn well about the agenda. What you do not know is its method of execution. Join me, and I will tell you everything you wish to know."

"Don't touch me!" Da'an jerked when T'than tried to take her.

"Da'an, what can those humans do to help you with this? What can the Lost Ones do? What will they give you? Drugs? Therapy? You might as well put a Band-Aid on a bullet wound. What comfort will they offer you through your trials? Will they hold your hand and pray that everything will turn out all right in the morning? Will they give you a shoulder to cry on? Humph. Animals could provide better comfort. We can give you control. We can make the visions stop."

"I don't believe you. You are lying to me."

"Come here. Let me prove it to you," T'than said softly, pulling Da'an into his arms and stroking her hair in an eerie sign of affection. Da'an could see his hand turn blue and he began chanting something bizarre in Eunoia.

The echoes suddenly silenced, and Da'an could feel her own body relaxing. She slowly faced T'than with a look of awe in her eyes.

"What did you do?" she asked.

"I filtered those terrible thoughts in your mind into the Commonality," T'than said with a strange grin. "I told you that I could help you."

"So that is your solution? You will not help me control Ma'el's powers. You will just filter them into the prison, just as you did with mine. How is that any more useful from the therapy offered by the humans?"

"The priests will no longer suppress your powers. They cannot afford to. They will just let you share control with our fellows. We will all share it as a community. What better reason to have control of the Commonality than for sharing its benefits with our brethren? That is all that brotherhood really is after all."

"Why aren't you marked?" Da'an asked him.

"I am marked," T'than said. "You just cannot see it. I doubt the Synod would have trusted me if I had the mark borne plainly on my face or my hands for all to see unlike these newer cleansed."

Da'an chuckled. "This is pathetic. I am actually considering your offer. What would we have to do?"

"Everything is set up. When Zo'or least expects it, we will act. All we need is the UN's approval and to stop this killer before he eliminates all my allies. However, we are having trouble doing that. You have a man leading the Atlantic National Alliance, a man who works closely with both the Taelons and the president."

"Hubble Urick," Da'an nodded.

"That is the one. A man of that importance no doubt has stockpiles of evidence on projects Zo'or has managed. If we could convince him to turn over those documents to the UN, we would finally have hard evidence to corroborate witness testimony on all the ways he has wronged humanity. We could even use Mr. Urick himself as a material witness."

"Why not just turn over your own documents? The Synod actively approved and even participated in Zo'or's projects."

T'than chuckled. "Let's just say I plead the Fifth on that one."

Da'an shook her head.

"If Mr. Urick turns over his documents, the priests and the UN will be able to give the rest of the Synod a full pardon. Zo'or will be the only one prosecuted."

"Then, Hy'li, Bu'ma, Nee'lan—these were all your allies."

"Nee'lan was a pansy. He would have gone along with it either way. Hy'li and Bu'ma are just a few of my agents. All the same, three allies dead—all Synod members. I highly doubt this is coincidental. Someone is killing Synod members—my allies. I need to know who and why. You can give this to me. You can see things others can only imagine. I need your mind and your eyes."

"There is nothing I can offer you that you could not find yourself," Da'an said. "If you really want to find the killer, you need to isolate the Synod from any and all humans. The only person who could even get close enough to the Synod members to kill them would be a high-ranking human volunteer or companion protector. I doubt there are many of those out there. As for Hubble Urick, he will never work with you. If the American government turns over its own copies of the documents, it will be admitting to every American citizen that it looked the other way when Zo'or was tormenting their people."

"America's copies of the documents are protected under the UN law. The president can argue for the judges not to disclose the origin of the documents nor their contents to the general public under the idea that doing so would expose military secrets and therefore endanger the general public of the nation from whence they came. The public would only know that the documents came from a nation, not this nation. As long as the judge and the judge only is able to review them however, it is enough to convict Zo'or. As for the killer, I have a pretty good idea of who it is. However, because he is so close to Zo'or, I need to catch him in the act. It is the only way a conviction will hold on him. You can tell us where and when he will strike. Then, an army of our best volunteer agents will arrest and detain him. That is all you have to do. An excellent start would be telling me who is next on this man's list. I know you know."

Da'an chuckled. "I know many things. All right. I will get involved in your little coup."

"What about the killer? Who is next on his list?"

Da'an shook her head. "Do you suddenly feel a tremor?"

Almost immediately after Da'an asked, T'than blushed in shock and turned away from her. He felt the disturbance in the Commonality. Two more of his fellows were dead.

"That's who is next," Da'an said.

"But how?"

"The whole time you sat here arranging to make a deal with me, your killer snuck into two embassies via portal and slaughtered two more of your fellows."

"How could he do that?"

"He has help," Da'an said sadly. "The Synod members are not safe on Earth anymore. If you truly care for the safety of your allies, you will get them as far away from this planet as you can."

"I cannot do that," T'than said. "We still must meet to receive the documents. I propose a compromise. Let us set up a meeting on the Moonbase. We can draw the killer out and receive the documents at the same time."

"You need Zo'or's approval for that," Da'an said.

"He'll do it," T'than said. "It will not be long before the killer comes after him too."

Da'an scoffed. "Shows what you know."

"What would you have me—"

"Done," Da'an said sharply, and she marched out of his office.

T'than followed her with uncertainty in his mind. Apparently there were two killers, and she knew the identities of both of them.


Liam had absolutely no clue how to react when Renee invited him over to her house. More like her mansion, Liam thought. Lucky stiff. He had never been invited over to her house before. He tried to take this as a sign of growth in their relationship. Still as the butler escorted him and his bottle of wine into the large dinning room, he couldn't help but reflect back on Malley's words. Liam was not used to all of these riches. These lavish surroundings with artwork hanging from every open space, a bust or a sculpture set in hallway, white carpeting on a marble floor, a garden outside as big as the White House front lawn, an Olympic-sized pool built like a large fountain, and a front lawn with its own large fountain as the beautiful centerpiece…and he hadn't even seen her luxury apartment downtown, and her summer estate in Miami. This was getting way over his head.

"Hey," Renee greeted, kissing his cheek.

"How are you doing?" Liam asked, handing her the bottle of wine.

"Oh, thanks. Mmm, good year," Renee said observing the bottle. "It's just you and me tonight. I had the cook make pork chops. You should have seen the awkward silence in the room. 'Not Kobe beef, madam?' 'No lamb chops or veal perhaps?' Nope, cook. Just plain, ordinary pork chops."

"Sounds good," Liam said trying to laugh at the joke all the while wondering where to sit in the huge dining table.

Renee chuckled and led him to his seat, which thankfully was right next to her. The butler put Liam's wine bottle in a bucket of ice and situated it between their places at the table.

"You didn't have to go through all of this," Liam said nervously, "just to have dinner with me. It's me. It's Liam."

"That's why I wanted to do it," Renee said. "You look tense. Are you nervous?"

"No, of course not," Liam lied, trying to get it out as quickly as possible to convince her and himself. It didn't work. "God, am I that obvious?"

"What's to be nervous? It's me. It's Renee."

"It's not you. I've been thinking about some things."

"Like what?"

"Well, um, you see," Liam stuttered. "You know all of this is…um…you and I are…"

"Yeah?" Renee pressed.

"I'm worried about Da'an," Liam sighed.

"Oh," Renee said in disappointment.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," Liam said.

"No it's all right. Da'an's your friend. You're worried about her. You and me both are," Renee said, as their salads got situated in front of them. "I don't know what in the hell has been with her lately, but it's like talking to a brick wall with her. She had absolutely no concept of reality now."

"She and Link aren't speaking to each other," Liam said. "Ariel's with him now, and Da'an stays at the lair. Auger says she spends most of her time locked in a room talking to herself."

"It's obvious Ma'el's powers," Renee said. "She keeps talking about these visions about something terrible happening. Whenever she receives a vision, she falls into this trance where she just lets any and every word she can think of come out of her mouth regardless of how much sense it makes. It's disturbing."

"She's trying to drown out the voices in her head. I think we need to take her off this case. You know, give her some time to get herself together. She's scaring the co-workers too, and I think the Taelons are starting to suspect something."

"I can talk to Hubble about it," Renee said. "But you've got to break the news to her. She'll only listen to you."

"She barely even does that now," Liam said. "But she wants off this case."

"Yeah," Renee said passively.

There was a moment of silence while both tried to think of something to say.

"Two more Synod members are dead," Liam said. "It's five now."

"Who?"

"The East Asian Companion and the Middle Eastern Companion. The same murder weapon, but both died in their embassies, just a few minutes apart."

"Which means?"

"Which means that the killer probably isn't a technician. No lowly technician is allowed enter the embassies. The killer's someone higher up, someone like a companion protector or a volunteer officer. Sandoval's interrogating the volunteer officers. It's only a matter of time before he gets to me."

"And your whole secret could be blown wide open. You've never been interrogated before. We've got to find the guy before he gets to you. Do you know anyone with a vendetta?"

"No one. Most of the protectors are loyal to their companions."

"But are they loyal to the others?"

"While I think this is a loner, I don't think he's doing this for the sake of doing it. I think he's being controlled. He's a pawn."

"Which means either Zo'or or T'than is controlling him."

"Which also means that all the Synod members being eliminated are servants of the priests."

"So if we can get a list of Synod members who are blatantly siding with the priests, we'll know who's next. Excellent. You need any help?"

"I may if Da'an backs down."

"She will. I don't think she wants to be there anyway." Liam sighed.

"What's wrong now?" Renee asked concerned that he had not touched his salad throughout the whole conversation.

"Mom died around this time," Liam said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Renee said. "I wish I'd have gotten the chance to know her."

"Yeah. You know when I think about my mother, I think about…my father."

Renee rolled her eyes. "And when you say that, I'm guessing you're referring to Sandoval."

"The Espelons don't trust us anymore. They've all researched into my past and have listened to the rumors about us. They call me corrupt and arrogant. They think that I'm high on myself. Funny, because I accuse Sandoval of the same thing. Does that make me like him?"

"Hell no," Renee said. "The Espelons are paranoid because this is a new planet and a new war for them. They don't know how to feel. They'll come around. You shouldn't let them get to you. I don't let them get to me. A lot of the Espelons are sweet, caring people who just want to help in any way they can. We can't help it if a few bad apples got caught in the mix."

"True."

"Let's try to move on to something lighter than this," Renee said. "It's our night together. Let's enjoy it."

"Yeah. Hey, thanks for doing this," Liam said.

"It's all for you, Liam."

As the hours continued, Liam found himself growing more and more comfortable. All his worries and his fears seemed to fade away like a mirage. Just being this close and this intimate with Renee assured him more and more that this was the woman for him.