Disclaimer: We do not own the Thunderbirds. No money was made off this endeavor.

NO GREATER LOVE

By: GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

"Love is shown in your deed, not in your words." – Fr. Jerome Cummings

"He was a man, take for all in all, I shall not look upon his like again" – Hamlet, by William Shakespeare

Chapter 5: Forgiveness

Jeff entered the dining room for lunch and found three of his sons sitting quietly at the table. It wasn't surprising to find Scott missing. He hadn't come to the family dinner table since Gordon's death over a week ago. Jeff knew that Scott was angry with him, but Jeff also noticed that Scott seemed to be angry with John and Virgil ever since the memorial service three days ago.

"Did anyone let Scott know that lunch was ready?" Jeff asked.

Alan nodded. "I told him. He just said that he would grab something later."

"This has got to stop." Jeff said more to himself than to his sons.

"What?" Alan asked.

"Scott hiding out." Jeff replied. "I know he's upset by Gordon's death, but we all are. He needs to be here for his family. We need to be there for him. Hiding out isn't helping anybody. Besides, we need to make some decisions about International Rescue."

"What kind of decisions?" John asked.

"Well the main question is: Do any of you want to quit?" Jeff said. "Losing Gordon like we did has made me re-evaluate my priorities. If any of you want to quit because of what happened, I would fully understand."

"Hell, no, Dad," Alan exclaimed. "We can't quit. Gordon wouldn't have wanted that."

"Alan's right." Virgil interrupted. "We need to carry on. People need us. We can't just abandon them."

Jeff turned and settled his gaze on John. "What do you think?"

"You don't need me to tell you that they are right." John replied. The corners of his mouth turned up as he tried to add some levity. "Besides, what else would we do? Could you imagine the stories that would appear in the tabloids about us traveling the world causing trouble as rich spoiled playboys?"

Jeff smirked. "And that would be different how? The tabloids have already branded you 'spoiled, lazy, do-nothings that just live off their daddy's money'."

Virgil joined in. "And then, in the same magazine, they will have an article about 'those heroic boys in blue who would make any parent proud.' If they only knew."

Jeff sobered. "Well, now I know how you feel, but I still need to talk to Scott. Alan, do you know where he is?"

"He was at the north beach the last time that I talked to him." Alan replied.

"Thanks, Alan." Jeff said. "I think that I will go talk to him now."


Scott was sitting on the beach watching the waves gently lap the shore when he saw his dad heading toward him. Scott got up and headed toward the jungle hoping to avoid the inevitable confrontation.

Jeff saw Scott move and yelled in a tone of voice that brooked no arguments. "Scott! Don't you dare walk away from me!"

Even though he heard his dad's tone, Scott almost ignored him, but then he decided to get this confrontation over with. Scott turned to face his father. When Jeff got closer, Scott asked. "What do you want?"

"We need to talk. Some decisions have to be made." Jeff said.

"Couldn't it have waited until I returned to the house?" Scott demanded.

Jeff shook his head. "Even when you're in the house, you've been avoiding me. So how am I supposed to talk to you?"

Scott sat back down on the sand. "Fine! You have my attention. So talk."

Jeff sat down next to his son. "I want to talk about you and your brothers."

Scott gave a snort. "I'd rather not."

Jeff shook his head in confusion. "I know that you're upset, but avoiding your family isn't going to help. We all need the support of each other to help us through this time."

Scott's reply was laced with anger. "You know, I'm getting real tired of everyone thinking that they know how I'm feeling. You guys have no idea."

"Then tell me. I want to help you." Jeff said gently.

"Can you bring Gordon back from the dead?" Scott asked sarcastically.

Jeff shook his head. "I know that you blame me for this, but you have to believe me Scott. I never imagined that this would have happened. Sure, I knew that Mitchner was a jerk, but I swear I never thought he would be violent. I mean we still would have had to go. Three women's lives were also at stake, but I could have ordered extra precautions. You would have been prepared. Please believe me. I don't take your safety lightly."

Scott shook his head unconsciously mimicking his father. "Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, but that's not going to change what has already happened."

"You're right." Jeff acknowledged. "But it does bring to light some new security precautions that I want to implement when we resume operations."

"Resume operations!" Scott exploded. "How can you even think of resuming operations? How many sons are you willing to lose?"

"It's not just my decision." Jeff tried to reason with his son. "I've already talked to your brothers. They say that they want to continue. They want to continue for Gordon's sake. They feel that he would've wanted us to carry on."

Scott argued back. "How would they know what Gordon wanted? They weren't there. They didn't hold him in their arms as he took his last breath. Well, I was. I watched as my brother died and knew that there was nothing that I could do about it. Well, I won't do it again. I can't."

Jeff placed a hand on Scott's shoulder. "Have you talked to anybody about this? Your brothers? Grandma?"

Scott nodded. "I told Virgil what happened right after we got back. You needed to know for the debriefing."

Jeff gave a slight head nod. "I'm not talking about the sequence of events. I'm talking about your feelings. I can only imagine what you've been going through."

Scott shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it. I don't even want to think about it."

Jeff gave Scott's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "It's not good to bottle this up. Please Scott, talk to me. I want to help you."

Scott shook his father's hand off his shoulder. "I don't deserve help. It won't change anything. It won't bring Gordon back. It won't change the fact that I sat there completely helpless as my brother died in my arms. It won't change the fact that my last words that he heard from me were an order." Scott's voice began to crack. "I told him that he would be all right, but he knew better. He knew that he was dying, but I couldn't even acknowledge that. I didn't even tell him that I loved him. What kind of a selfish jerk am I? Especially since it should have…" Scott's voice drifted away as his face filled with agony.

"Since it should have been what?" Jeff asked.

Scott shook his head. "Nothing. Forget it. It doesn't matter."

"It does matter." Jeff pushed his son. "Something other than Gordon's death is tearing you apart. I can see it written all over your face. Please Scott, tell me."

Scott sighed and ran a hand over his face. "It should have been me, Dad. That bullet was meant for me. If I had handled Mitchner better, he wouldn't have been so angry. I should have sent Gordon back to Thunderbird 2. Breaking down mobile control is my job. I should have been the one doing it, not him. I know that I said it was your fault, but really it was mine. I'm the field commander. You trusted me to take care of my brothers and I blew it. I'm so sorry Dad." Scott turned away as tears began to fall.

Jeff could hear as Scott's emotions shone through his words. He put an arm around Scott's shoulder. He could feel the resistance in his son. "This wasn't your fault…"

"Yes, it was!" Scott cried as his heart broke. "He was my little brother. I should have protected him. He trusted me. I failed and now he's dead!"

Scott finally broke down completely as his grief consumed him. Jeff pulled him into a tight embrace as Scott sobbed uncontrollably into his father's chest. Jeff silently held his son as his own tears fell. Finally Scott's sobs subsided, but he still leaned heavily against his dad. Jeff knew that it was a weakness borne of emotional exhaustion.

Gently Jeff ran a hand up and down Scott's back. "Are you ok?"

That normally would sound like an odd question given the circumstances, but Scott understood what his dad meant and nodded his head.

Jeff pulled back a little bit. "Then I want you to listen to me. YOU were NOT to blame for this. Nobody knew this was going to happen. Mitchner, and he alone, was responsible for this. I know it's hard. I've been battling my own feelings of guilt. If you had done anything to change this, it could've been you who was killed, and I would be having this conversation with Gordon. I want you to know that you can talk to me at anytime. We need to rely on each other to get through this."

Scott closed his eyes and took a deep breath but didn't respond.

"Scott? Did you hear me?" Jeff questioned.

Scott sighed. "Yeah, I heard you. It's just going to take a while to convince my heart what my brain already knows."

"I understand." Jeff said.

Scott nodded. "Let me ask you a question. Why didn't you seem surprised when I 'confessed' to you?"

Jeff gave a small laugh. "We're too much alike. I know what goes through that head of yours. I also knew that you had to 'admit' it before you could start healing." Patting Scott on the shoulder, he continued. "Come on; let's head back to the house. You look like you could use some sleep. Knowing you, you haven't slept much either this past week."

Scott nodded his head. "You're right, but first I need to talk to John and Virgil."

"Are you going to tell me what happened between you three?" Jeff asked.

"Let's just say that you were not the only person that I took my 'feelings' out on." Scott replied.


Jeff and Scott walked back to the house in relative silence. They found both Virgil and John in the lounge. John was casually reading an astronomy magazine while Virgil played a slow ballad on the piano.

"Hey guys," Scott said quietly.

Virgil stopped playing. He looked at John and they both looked between Scott and their father.

"Hey Scott," John said. "Does this mean that we're talking again?"

Scott nodded. "Yeah, look I'm sorry for how I've acted these last few days. I've been taking my feelings out on you guys. Talking with dad has helped me put things in perspective." Scott looked at the floor uncomfortably. "Look, I'm going to try to get some sleep. I'll talk to you guys later."

Virgil stood up. "I'll walk with you if you don't mind."

Scott shook his head. "I don't mind. As a matter of fact, I would enjoy the company."

Scott and Virgil left the room talking quietly together.

John looked at Jeff who had sat down at his desk. "I'm glad that you were finally able to get through to him. His guilt was eating him alive."

Jeff nodded his head. "I know. I'm glad too. Now this family can start to heal. Time, we just need time."

"Time," John said quietly. "And each other."

THE END