This is an ALTERNATE ENDING to this story. The first part will be the same as Chapter 5, but the ending is different. A longer explanation can be found at the end of this chapter.
Disclaimer: We do not own the Thunderbirds. No money was made off this endeavor.
NO GREATER LOVE
By: GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert
"Love is shown in your deed, not in your words." – Fr. Jerome Cummings
"Hope is a waking dream" - Aristotle
Chapter 6: Awakening
Jeff entered the dining room for lunch and found three of his sons sitting quietly at the table. It wasn't surprising to find Scott missing. He hadn't come to the family dinner table since Gordon's death over a week ago. Jeff knew that Scott was angry with him, but Jeff also noticed that Scott seemed to be angry with John and Virgil ever since the memorial service three days ago.
"Did anyone let Scott know that lunch was ready?" Jeff asked.
Alan nodded. "I told him. He just said that he would grab something later."
"This has got to stop." Jeff said more to himself than to his sons.
"What?" Alan asked.
"Scott hiding out." Jeff replied. "I know he's upset by Gordon's death, but we all are. He needs to be here for his family. We need to be there for him. Hiding out isn't helping anybody. Besides, we need to make some decisions about International Rescue."
"What kind of decisions?" John asked.
"Well the main question is: Do any of you want to quit?" Jeff said. "Losing Gordon like we did has made me re-evaluate my priorities. If any of you want to quit because of what happened, I would fully understand."
"Hell, no, Dad," Alan exclaimed. "We can't quit. Gordon wouldn't have wanted that."
"Alan's right." Virgil interrupted. "We need to carry on. People need us. We can't just abandon them."
Jeff turned and settled his gaze on John. "What do you think?"
"You don't need me to tell you that they are right." John replied. The corners of his mouth turned up as he tried to add some levity. "Besides, what else would we do? Could you imagine the stories that would appear in the tabloids about us traveling the world causing trouble as rich spoiled playboys?"
Jeff smirked. "And that would be different how? The tabloids have already branded you 'spoiled, lazy, do-nothings that just live off their daddy's money'."
Virgil joined in. "And then, in the same magazine, they will have an article about 'those heroic boys in blue who would make any parent proud.' If they only knew."
Jeff sobered. "Well, now I know how you feel, but I still need to talk to Scott. Alan, do you know where he is?"
"He was at the north beach the last time that I talked to him." Alan replied.
"Thanks, Alan." Jeff said. "I think that I will go talk to him now."
Scott was sitting on the beach watching the waves gently lap the shore when he saw his dad heading toward him. Scott got up and headed toward the jungle hoping to avoid the inevitable confrontation.
Jeff saw Scott move and yelled in a tone of voice that brooked no arguments. "Scott! Don't you dare walk away from me!"
Even though he heard his dad's tone, Scott almost ignored him, but then he decided to get this confrontation over with. Scott turned to face his father. When Jeff got closer, Scott asked. "What do you want?"
"We need to talk. Some decisions have to be made." Jeff said.
"Couldn't it have waited until I returned to the house?" Scott demanded.
Jeff shook his head. "Even when you're in the house, you've been avoiding me. So how am I supposed to talk to you?"
Scott sat back down on the sand. "Fine! You have my attention. So talk."
Jeff sat down next to his son. "I want to talk about you and your brothers."
Scott gave a snort. "I'd rather not."
Jeff shook his head in confusion. "I know that you're upset, but avoiding your family isn't going to help. We all need the support of each other to help us through this time."
Scott's reply was laced with anger. "You know, I'm getting real tired of everyone thinking that they know how I'm feeling. You guys have no idea."
"Then tell me. I want to help you." Jeff said gently.
"Can you bring Gordon back from the dead?" Scott asked sarcastically.
Jeff shook his head. "I know that you blame me for this, but you have to believe me Scott. I never imagined that this would have happened. Sure, I knew that Mitchner was a jerk, but I swear I never thought he would be violent. I mean we still would have had to go. Three women's lives were also at stake, but I could have ordered extra precautions. You would have been prepared. Please believe me. I don't take your safety lightly."
Scott shook his head unconsciously mimicking his father. "Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, but that's not going to change what has already happened."
"You're right." Jeff acknowledged. "But it does bring to light some new security precautions that I want to implement when we resume operations."
"Resume operations!" Scott exploded. "How can you even think of resuming operations? How many sons are you willing to lose?"
"It's not just my decision." Jeff tried to reason with his son. "I've already talked to your brothers. They say that they want to continue. They want to continue for Gordon's sake. They feel that he would've wanted us to carry on."
Scott argued back. "How would they know what Gordon wanted? They weren't there. They didn't hold him in their arms as he took his last breath. Well, I was. I watched as my brother died and knew that there was nothing that I could do about it. Well, I won't do it again. I can't."
Jeff placed a hand on Scott's shoulder. "Have you talked to anybody about this? Your brothers? Grandma?"
Scott nodded. "I told Virgil what happened right after we got back. You needed to know for the debriefing."
Jeff gave a slight head nod. "I'm not talking about the sequence of events. I'm talking about your feelings. I can only imagine what you've been going through."
Scott shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it. I don't even want to think about it."
Jeff gave Scott's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "It's not good to bottle this up. Please Scott, talk to me. I want to help you."
Scott shook his father's hand off his shoulder. "I don't deserve help. It won't change anything. It won't bring Gordon back. It won't change the fact that I sat there completely helpless as my brother died in my arms. It won't change the fact that my last words that he heard from me were an order." Scott's voice began to crack. "I told him that he would be all right, but he knew better. He knew that he was dying, but I couldn't even acknowledge that. I didn't even tell him that I loved him. What kind of a selfish jerk am I? Especially since it should have…" Scott's voice drifted away as his face filled with agony.
"Since it should have been what?" Jeff asked.
Scott shook his head. "Nothing. Forget it. It doesn't matter."
"It does matter." Jeff pushed his son. "Something other than Gordon's death is tearing you apart. I can see it written all over your face. Please Scott, tell me."
Scott sighed and ran a hand over his face. "It should have been me, Dad. That bullet was meant for me. If I had handled Mitchner better, he wouldn't have been so angry. I should have sent Gordon back to Thunderbird 2. Breaking down mobile control is my job. I should have been the one doing it, not him. I know that I said it was your fault, but really it was mine. I'm the field commander. You trusted me to take care of my brothers and I blew it. I'm so sorry Dad." Scott turned away as tears began to fall.
Jeff could hear as Scott's emotions shone through his words. He put an arm around Scott's shoulder. He could feel the resistance in his son. "This wasn't your fault…"
"Yes, it was!" Scott cried as his heart broke. "He was my little brother. I should have protected him. He trusted me. I failed and now he's dead!"
Scott finally broke down completely as his grief consumed him. Jeff pulled him into a tight embrace as Scott sobbed uncontrollably into his father's chest. Jeff silently held his son as his own tears fell. Finally Scott's sobs subsided, but he still leaned heavily against his dad. Jeff knew that it was a weakness borne of emotional exhaustion.
Gently Jeff ran a hand up and down Scott's back. "Are you ok?"
That normally would sound like an odd question given the circumstances, but Scott understood what his dad meant and nodded his head.
Jeff pulled back a little bit. "Then I want you to listen to me. YOU were NOT to blame for this. Nobody knew this was going to happen. Mitchner, and he alone, was responsible for this. I know it's hard. I've been battling my own feelings of guilt. If you had done anything to change this, it could've been you who was killed, and I would be having this conversation with Gordon. I want you to know that you can talk to me at anytime. We need to rely on each other to get through this."
Scott closed his eyes and took a deep breath but didn't respond.
"Scott? Did you hear me?" Jeff questioned. "Scott? Scott, open your eyes and look at me."
As his father spoke to him, the voice seemed to change. It seemed to rise up in pitch, more like Gordon's voice, but that was impossible. Scott brushed it off as a result of fatigue. The voice continued to press him.
"Come on Scott; wake up."
"Wake up?" Scott thought. "But I'm not sleeping, am I?"
Scott opened his eyes and a figure swam blurredly in front of his face. Slowly the figure took form, a form with red hair. "Red hair? I've got to be dreaming." Scott thought. Scott rubbed his eyes and looked again, fighting back the pounding that seemed to have taken up residence in his head.
The figure smiled and said. "Are you finally back with us?"
"Gordon? Is that you?" Scott asked as he tried to work through the confusion that seemed to cloud his mind.
"Yeah, bro, it's me." Gordon responded. "That must have been some dream that you were having. We've been trying to wake you up for over five minutes."
Scott realized that he was laying on one of the beds in the sickroom with his family gathered around him, all with worried looks plastered on their faces.
Scott rubbed his aching head. "What happened?" He asked.
"You were injured on the last rescue." Jeff explained. "You took a hard knock to the head."
"Rescue?" Scott asked still trying to make sense of what was going on around him. "What rescue?"
"We were called to a rescue at Mitchner industries…" Virgil began.
"Mitchner!" Scott exclaimed as he bolted up to a sitting position, startling his family members. "He had a gun! He shot at me!"
Virgil grabbed one of Scott's shoulders. "Hey, calm down. It's ok. He missed."
Gordon placed his hand on Scott's other shoulder. "I'm sorry Scott. When I saw the gun, I just reacted. I never even saw the rock…"
Scott started patting the front of Gordon. "Gordon," He said in a choked voice. "You're alive? But…but…he shot you. I held you as…as…oh God, am I dreaming?"
Gordon grasped Scott's hands. "No, you're not dreaming. I'm ok, really. He missed us both. Although I have a feeling that you had one whopper of a dream while you were unconscious."
At that moment the vid-link began to beep. Jeff keyed the comm. unit and the screen flashed to life revealing John's face.
"Dad," John began. "I was just checking on…" He paused for a moment when he caught sight of Scott sitting on the bed. "Hey, sleeping beauty is awake. I was just calling to check on you. It's good to see you awake, Scott."
Scott seemed to relax a bit. "Thanks John. How long was I out?" He asked.
"A little over 2 ½ hours." Jeff explained. "We were getting a little concerned, especially a few minutes ago when you started calling for Gordon and saying that 'it was your fault'. You want to tell me what's been going through your head?"
"I think that it was a continuation of the rescue." Scott began. "Correct me if I'm wrong. Mitchner accused Gordon of stealing some files and wanted him arrested. When the police officer refused to arrest Gordon, he came back with a gun and took a shot at us. Everything right so far?"
His family members nodded. "Yeah, so far everything is right." Gordon said.
"Ok, I guess this is where things start getting off." Scott said, looking at Gordon. "I remember you pushing me out of the way and taking the bullet."
"No wonder you were so upset when you woke up." Gordon interjected.
"That wasn't all of it." Scott continued. "In my… 'dream'…you died in my arms." Scott ran a hand over his face. "God, it was so real. I mean I even dreamed the funeral and everything."
"And knowing you, you were filled with guilt and self-recriminations." Virgil broke in.
Scott nodded. "So what really happened?"
Gordon shrugged. "Nothing as exciting as your 'dream'. I pushed you out of the way. Mitchner's shot missed us both. Officer Harrison winged Mitchner and arrested him. You hit your head on a rock and were out cold. The paramedics said that your vitals were stable, so we brought you home. End of story."
"Not quite," Scott said. "One thing I did learn is to let people know how you feel while you still have the chance." Pulling Gordon into a hug, he said. "I love you Gordon. I always will, even when you are being a pain in the butt." Scott released Gordon and looked at the rest of his family. "I love you all. I want you to always remember that. You never know when something may happen." Scott stopped as he became emotional.
"The feeling is mutual, big brother." John said smiling. "I hope you know that. If I was there I would give you a great big hug to prove it."
"Well, we're here, so we'll do it. Right, guys?" Alan volunteered.
Scott found himself engulfed by his three brothers. Their group hug turned into a giant wrestling match.
"Ok, ok, I give." Scott said laughing.
His three brothers piled off of him laughing too.
Virgil gave Scott a playful punch on the arm. "Don't scare us like that again."
"I'll do my best." Scott laughed.
"So Scott," Gordon said with a mischievous glint in his eye. "What was my funeral like?"
The other brothers reacted.
"GORDON!"
"I can't believe you asked that!"
"What were you thinking?"
Scott just shook his head and laughed. Never again would he take his brothers for granted.
THE END
Author's note: Ok, this chapter was supposed to be the real ending for this story. When Grumpy and Convert first started writing fan fiction, Convert had only one rule: NO DEATH FICS. Grumpy had pestered her for months about doing this story, but she only agreed if she could end it as a nightmare for Scott. GRUMPY AGREED TO THAT STIPULATION. Unfortunately as the story was written, Grumpy pestered Convert again to leave it as a death fic. So this is the compromise that we came up with. For all those who enjoy death fics, we hope you enjoyed Chapter 5. For those who don't like death fics, Chapter 6 was for you. Thanks for reading.
