8 – "So give my regards to the dreams of mice and men. I pray that this helps you realize that's all our ambitions ever are: dreams."
When Da'an came back from South America with us, she locked herself into a room and started crying. She cried for so long that she fell into a slumber. Link finally got the door open and asked her why she had been crying. She said she was mourning her brother's death, and then she recovered herself and left with him and Ariel as if the incident had never occurred.
I talk to Ariel a lot lately. The Espelons all seem to like Ariel. They like her a lot more than they like Lili. How can they sit there and judge Lili? They never even knew her! The Taelons like Ariel because she behaves like a Taelon. Her tutors all say that she learns at the same rate a Taelon learns, and that she has an in-depth, inherent knowledge about her genetic family lines just as a Taelon does. The Espelons all like her personality. They say she's very playful and kind. She's always asking questions, and they love to answer those questions for her. It's funny how they always like the children better than their parents.
Ariel tells me a lot about Da'an that Da'an won't tell me herself. She told me that Da'an likes to make things for her, and that she's always liked to do that. She said that the only thing Da'an loves more than literature and diplomacy is architecture. That makes sense to me. After all, whenever a new building was constructed, Da'an always had to go to the groundbreaking ceremony. Many of Da'an's more successful projects involved architecture and engineering than science and medicine. But then, she said something that perplexes me even to this day. She told me that the ship Ma'el arrived in on Earth was a gift to him from Da'an. Apparently Da'an not only constructed the whole ship all on her own, but she gave it to him as a birthday present. I wonder if this is even possible. Da'an never said anything about it. It's possible it was lost with all the other memories of her childhood, but still. You'd think she'd at least carry pieces of something so bold, and then, when she got them back, that she would talk about it. Tay'jay said that Da'an stayed up endless nights as a child decorating and re-decorating her and Ma'el's room when they were kids. More than once, she went too far and ended up decorating the whole house.
Link said she does this too. All the decorations in his apartment now were either added or rearranged by Da'an. I've been there many times. I have to hand it to her. She's really good.
I guess Da'an's a builder. She builds alliances, relationships, ships—you name it and she could probably build it. I guess that's also why Da'an becomes so downcast when things deteriorate, die or are destroyed. I think that's one of Da'an's biggest flaws as a person. She has trouble letting go of things. Even if they hurt her, she can't let them go. That was why she was so angry with Lili and never let go of her grudge until Lili died. That's probably why she'll never let go of Zo'or no matter how badly he hurts her. This also carries a side effect of holding things in. She will hold every little trouble she has within her, and she will never share it with anyone. Maybe she subconsciously believes that everyone else has trouble letting things die or fade away. She must be right. I have trouble letting go too.
"No!"
Liam fired his gun and the knife was flung from Zo'or's deceptive hand.
Her senses finally returned to her, and she pushed Zo'or away.
"You do not know me all that well, do you Da'an?" Zo'or said cruelly.
"Da'an," Liam called.
Da'an rose and rushed to Liam's arms.
"It's over, Zo'or. We're taking you away from here. You need help."
"You will do no such thing, Major," Zo'or said, standing to face Liam. "I beg of you to murder me, Kincaid. Let my poor parent watch her own child die at the hands of her replacement."
"Just tell me why Zo'or," Da'an said softly. "I need to know. I need to understand. Please just tell me why."
"I should have killed you long ago," Zo'or said, "but I never had the courage to do it. I despise your personality. You are so kind and caring. All you ever want is peace, and every time I get the urge to give into my anger and my hatred, your voice and your face always steady my hands and hold me back. I could have conquered these pathetic humans months ago. I could own the Commonality, and I could have vanquished the Jaridians if I had the strength to take the path of ruthlessness. I could have slaughtered millions of humans to frighten them into serving me. I could have sent wave after wave of genetically altered humans to make a wasteland out of the Jaridian home world. Don't you see, Da'an? You are everything a parent should be. You are my conscience. Even when I murdered a Taelon with my own hand, a wave of shame and dissatisfaction overcame me. But when I transferred myself into that human, I had no trouble killing another human. I had no trouble because I could not hear the judging voices of the Commonality. I knew that your eyes could not watch me there. I long for freedom as much as you do, but I long for it in order to gain the strength to do what I should have done for the good of the Taelons years ago."
"You need medical and psychiatric help, Zo'or," Liam said calmly. "Let us take you somewhere far away from Earth, where you'll receive the treatment you need."
"I will not trade one prison for another!" Zo'or whispered, running to the dagger at speeds faster than Liam's gun could catch. His eye color fluttered between blue and red. He opened the knife and pointed the blade at his chest. "Will you give me control, Da'an? Or will you let him kill me?"
Liam pointed the gun directly to Zo'or's head, but Da'an stepped in his line of fire. "What are you doing!"
"You cannot do it, Liam," Da'an said softly. "Let him take his own life. Give him that power."
"You would let me die, Da'an?" Zo'or growled. "How much do you truly love me?"
"It is this or the knife, Zo'or," Da'an said. "Either way, you are going to die. It is your choice."
Zo'or's eyes turned angry red, and a feral smile formed across his face. "That is where you are wrong, my parent. There is one thing I have left to do before I depart from this world. You see, I finally realize that the only path towards freedom left for me is death, but I still have one last thing to do before I leave this world." He leapt towards Da'an and tackled her before Liam could react to fire. Without saying anything, he began trying to stab her with the knife. Liam tried to fire his gun, but he couldn't get a good aim. He would never risk hurting Da'an no matter what, so he dropped the gun and grabbed Zo'or. Zo'or was ready for him to do this however. He let Da'an scramble away and faced Liam. They were now locked in their own struggle. Zo'or used his Taelon strength to push Liam backwards, and then he jammed the knife as hard as he could into Liam's left hand. Liam was forced back in unbearable pain, which only increased ten-fold when he made the mistake of observing the gaping, burning hole that the energy blade had left in his left hand.
The moment Zo'or stabbed Liam, Da'an ran away to get help. Zo'or rose and followed her.
Liam pulled out the global and called for Renee's help.
"Liam, where the hell are you?" Renee cried. "When you didn't call—"
"I'm at the home world recreation. Get over here now! I can't stop him! He's going to kill her!"
"Liam what are you—"
It seemed that no degree of head start could keep Zo'or from catching Da'an. She ran down the corridor as fast as her legs could carry her, but she could still hear him catching up. It was as if a powerful demonic force possessed the Taelon with no other objective than to tear Da'an to pieces. She found a portal and programmed it to take her back to her old embassy, praying that someone would be there to assist her. But as the blue gateway opened to take her to the embassy, Zo'or dove forward and tackled her, and they disappeared into interdimensional space together.
The alert Liam had sent Renee only increased her strength and her speed. She and the squad portalled to the recreation just a few minutes after Da'an and Zo'or had disappeared. She found Liam with his free hand pressed firmly into the ground. The pain made him so dizzy and had blurred his vision so badly that he had to cut off the global in order to use his free hand to keep him from collapsing. He probably would have gone into shock if Renee had no come for him.
"Liam, come on. Talk to me," she pleaded pulling him close in a vain effort to warm him.
Liam first gasped and then he groaned, both from the pain still evident in his hand and from his recollection of the circumstances that had brought about the wound. "Da'an! We've got to help her. Zo'or finally cracked."
"Which way?" Renee asked instinctively. Liam pointed back in the direction from whence they had come. "Damn it! She must have portalled somewhere just before we came. Take care of him. He's hurt."
"No!" Liam yelled, straining to stand. "I'm going after her. I've got to help her."
"Liam, you're in no condition to help anybody," Renee protested sternly. "Stay here and let the medics help you!"
"I'm going with you! I don't care!" Liam shot back.
"We don't have time for this!" Darius cried. "Just take him, and let's go!"
Darius and Renee each took one of Liam's arms, helped him stand, and dashed back to the portal. She checked the destination records. "It's the embassy."
"She must've thought there'd be volunteers there," Darius said. "The others'll catch up. Come on."
"Liam, stay here," Renee said. "You need to tell the others to meet us at the embassy when they get here. We'll take care of Da'an."
Renee and Darius left before Liam could object. Upon exiting the portal, they found Zo'or, with the open knife, trying relentlessly to stab Da'an, who was scrambling to get away.
"Why doesn't she just use her telekinesis or something?" Darius asked.
"Are you kidding me? It's her child. She won't risk killing him," Renee said.
"Her kid? That thing is Da'an's child?"
"You know I don't blame you, Da'an," Zo'or said in a raised but calm voice. "After all, it is not your fault that the Jaridians turned you against me. It is not your fault that terrible incident happened. Perhaps if we had just made it to the shuttle, things could have stayed as they were before." He cut Da'an's left arm as if it was just the next casual thing to do.
Da'an let out a terrible scream. Her primal instincts took over, and she punched Zo'or. Then, she got up and attempted to run again, but Zo'or recovered too quickly and grabbed her arms. He dug his fingers into her cut.
"You can fight this, or you can accept it, Da'an," Zo'or said very calmly as if he were now the parent and ignoring her screams as a nuisance. "Why should we put ourselves through anymore pain?"
Darius pulled out his gun and prepared to fire, but Renee stopped him.
"In that position, he could turn her around and use her like a shield," Renee said.
"Look, lady, I've been in the Marines ever since I was eighteen! I can shoot him long before that!" Darius yelled.
"Just wait a minute! At least wait to get a clear shot."
"He's not giving her that option!"
Zo'or opened the virtual glass window and prepared to throw Da'an out. "Come with me, Da'an. Let us go together."
"Fuck it!" Renee cried. "Shoot to kill!"
Zo'or heard those words, scoffed, and released his energy at Renee and Darius. They had to dive away to avoid being hit. At that moment, Zo'or only had Da'an with one arm. Da'an used the moment to twist herself free from Zo'or's grip. However, upon doing so, she accidentally forced him to the edge of the open window. But Zo'or was far from done with her. Before he lost his balance, he snatched her hand and dragged her out with him. Renee and Darius cried out to Da'an in vain and listened to their screams before they thudded on the ground below.
"Oh my God," Renee whispered in shock.
Liam and the rest of the team finally came out of the portal and into the embassy.
"Where's Da'an?" Liam asked Darius.
All he could do was turn towards Renee, who was still staring out the open window in shock.
"No!" Liam yelled, throwing away his gun in a rage.
"We should've stopped them," Darius said angrily. "We should have stopped them when we had the chance. I could've taken that shot, dammit! You should've trusted me!"
"Oh my God! She's still alive!" Renee shouted. She bolted past the squad screaming, "Out of my way!"
Liam, Darius and the others followed closely behind.
Both Zo'or and Da'an lay unconscious on the lush soil of the embassy's garden…unconscious, but not dead. It was the dead of night, and the only source of light was the small lanterns hanging over their respective flowerbeds. Zo'or was the first to awaken. He flipped over on his stomach with the cold wrath and solid determination still fresh within his mind. He was not going to stop until she was dead.
Da'an awoke more slowly, with a terrible pain in her chest that had literally knocked the air out of her. She strained to turn over on her back. By the time she was finally able to do so and regain her air, Zo'or had taken the knife and was crawling towards her like a jackal. Fear took over, giving her the energy she needed to sit up and scramble away from him, but that was it. Even with fear as her fuel, she could not shake the aching in her chest, her arms, her legs, and her heart.
Zo'or caught up with her quickly and pinned her down. "All you ever wanted to do was hold me back and deny my true nature. All I have ever wanted was to watch you die, but I was too weak to do so. That is over now. I have always been afraid of facing the consequences of my actions, but I have been more so afraid of facing your stern righteous eyes. I have been afraid to judge all their eyes. But now, I realize that I am going to die no matter what I do. Who will be there to punish me if I kill you and take my own life afterwards?"
"Oh, Zo'or," Da'an gasped.
Your protector always had the potential to kill. We all do, but he had friends and family to keep him from giving into that nature. The Taelons deprived him of all of that, and then we implanted him with a tool he could use to enhance his true nature. He did what he did out of desperation.
Zo'or gasped in fear as the strange voice echoed inside his mind. Da'an could see his eyes shifting from red to blue and back again.
You however still have family left in this world. You still have people who love you to keep you from killing, and now you still try to take my life. You still stole the life of a human and a Taelon. You do not need me to hold you back from anything, Zo'or. You never did because I never held you back, and when I did you always managed to stop me. I am not your conscience, Zo'or. The Commonality is. The Commonality is the reason why you felt shame when you killed Nee'lan. The absence of the Commonality is why you took such pleasure from killing that human when you stole a human body. I am not the one you want dead, Zo'or. It's the Commonality, and since you cannot take the Commonality nor the priests, you take the next best thing. I do not think you fear dying, Zo'or…
The voice was interrupted when Zo'or slapped her with enough strength to snap her neck had she been human. When she recovered, he did it again…and again and again and again while continuing his words in that icy mock-parental tone. "Keep…your…damnable...patronizing...thoughts…out of…my…head! If you have any…love…left for…me…you will withhold…your…wretched… witchery…and take…what you…deserve!" He lifted the knife over his head to bring it down on her with full force, but with what little strength she had left, she grabbed the arm with the fateful knife and pushed back. The result was a ferocious struggle between the two.
"You made me into this, Da'an," Zo'or said. "I am this way because of you. You are just as guilty of my actions as I, and that is why I want you dead. You and I both deserve to die, and we deserve to do it together."
Da'an could feel her strength waning, and the tingling of the blade got closer and closer to her neck. She knew there was no way she could fight his seemingly supernatural strength, but perhaps she could dodge the blade. She slowly edged her head away from the blade and let it fall into the soil.
Zo'or hit her again and sliced her abdomen open. Instinctively, she fought back with everything she had. She scratched him, she hit him, and she would have kicked him if Zo'or were not perched on top of her legs. Zo'or chuckled as she fought him hysterically. "That's it Da'an," he whispered through his teeth as he fought her hard. "Give into your anger. Prove you are no better than me. Prove to me that your hatred is the hatred I inherited." He struggled to bring the knife up to stab her again. Throughout the madness, she somehow managed to knock the knife out of his hands. It scraped across the dirt and switched off automatically. Zo'or hit her again—this time in her abdomen—and scrambled to the knife. Da'an somehow managed to grab his legs to prevent him from getting to the knife, and she pulled him backwards. Then, she made her own mad dash for the knife—not to hurt Zo'or, just to get it away from him. When she was far enough past him, Zo'or dug his hands into the wound in her abdomen. He pulled himself to his feet using her own wound and ran towards the knife. Da'an made a final, desperate dive towards the knife just as Zo'or dropped to the ground to grab it. Both wound up with the knife in their hands.
Liam and Renee managed to get there just as they wrestling over the knife. Both Da'an and Zo'or were on their knees trying to pull the knife out of the other's hands. Now, Darius had a clear shot at Zo'or, and he was going to take it. He aimed the gun and was just about the pull the trigger when Zo'or made one huge pull for the knife. The might of the pull did not force the knife out of Da'an's hands. Instead it pulled Da'an along with the knife on him. Her body weight pushed him on his back…and the blade opened.
Liam and Renee's hearts jumped in unison. The look of shock in both Da'an and Zo'or's eyes made it extremely difficult to determine on whom the blade had opened. All they could do was pray that it was not Da'an.
Then, Da'an leaned backwards, still in complete shock, and the blade slowly left Zo'or's torso. The energy knife slipped through her hands. Still hysterical from the whole ordeal, she embraced her dying child in her arms.
"Zo'or, no," she whimpered quickly. "What have I done? I'm so sorry. Help him! Please! Somebody help him!"
The energy was escaping from Zo'or far too quickly. No one could help him now, and she knew this. However, she refused to accept it.
Zo'or's eyes diverted back to their normal blue state. He was no longer afraid and no longer angry. He was only sad. "Da'an."
"Please, stay with me," Da'an begged. "Please. I can't lose you. I can't lose you too."
"I feel so clear," Zo'or breathed, more in surprise than in pain. "This is what I have always wanted." He stared at the clear night sky. "It…it is gone, Da'an. It is all gone. You freed me. You took it all away. I am free now. You know how I feel now Da'an. You know how I feel about you now. You know how I could only feel for you now that…you have taken it away. I wish I could say it. I wish I could say it for all to hear, but I have no desire to do so right now. You have to let me go now. Let me go…and let me die with my selfishness now. Let me live in my vanity…for a while."
Those were his last words before he dissolved in Da'an's arms. Da'an pictured herself screaming as she did when Ar'ron died, but her wounds, her loss, and Zo'or's words to her overwhelmed her. All she could do was faint.
The squad finally came after the commotion, but just in time to see Zo'or's form dissolve and Da'an faint. Liam rushed to her aid and held her closely. He held her in the same way he had held his mother when she died in his arms.
"There's nothing we could've done," Renee told Liam. "He was too far gone. Even if we had taken him, we couldn't have saved him."
"Come on, Major," Darius said, reaching for Da'an. "You gotta let me take her. I need to portal her to the infirmary at headquarters before she bleeds to death. She's running out of time."
"I'm up, Darius," Liam said rising to his feet with Da'an in his arms. "I can take her."
"Why didn't he just will himself to die?" Renee asked. "If all he wanted was to die, why didn't he just will himself to die or kill himself with the knife?"
"He wanted to take her with him," Liam said. "Because that's what every Taelon a part of the Commonality is afraid of. He wasn't afraid of death by the trial or by his own hand. He was just afraid of being alone, of dying alone."
Six days passed. The funerals and memorial services were finally drawing to a close.
Renee waited with the mourners, trying her best to hide her face, for Sandoval's funeral to end. Almost no one was there. Not even Deedee was there from what she could see, not that anyone had expected her to come. It had been problematic enough finding a holy man to give him his final rites before he died. Sandoval had been a Catholic, and no Catholic priest would even dignify Liam with an answer when he called him. Suicide was blasphemy to a Catholic, and many other religions frowned upon it too. But Liam finally managed to find a Methodist minister compassionate and sympathetic enough to read him his rites. When many of his family members learned of what Ronald had done and that his funeral would not be a traditional Catholic or military funeral, many of them shunned the thought of attending. The few who came did so out of pity or because he had left them something in his will.
While Liam gave the eulogy, Renee found herself crying. It was not for Sandoval. She would never cry for him. She was crying for Liam and everything this terrible incident had put him through. The press was nonstop. Renee spent everyday in and out of the hospital waiting for Liam and Da'an to recover, at some protector or companion's memorial service with Liam when he finally did recover, or dodging the press by working as many hours as she could locked inside the fortress that was Doors International. She cursed the press that had nothing to do but hound the only surviving companion protector of what they had reduced to the tagline "Slaughter of the Synod." But she knew that as bad off as she was, Liam was worse. Liam had unofficially cut her off from his pain. She felt like he was trying to hide his pain in order to keep from bringing it upon her. If only he could understand how much that hurt her inside. She wanted to get close to Liam, but he had grown so distant that Renee felt like a bother just being next to him. She went to see him every day that he was in the hospital and even held his uninjured hand when they repaired it. As he recovered, she tried to stay close to him and even braved all the funerals and memorial services with him just to keep him near. It seemed like a vain effort. He rarely spoke to her when she did see her, and what little physical contact they made she and not he initiated.
What she would have given to see Liam smile! All he ever did in the passing days after the tragedy was worry. He worried about Da'an, he worried about the families of his deceased co-workers, and he worried about humanity's reaction as they picked up the pieces to this terrible tragedy. Who would have thought that one man could cause so much pain?
She hated Sandoval for everything. She wanted to get in a time machine, go back to when he had been dying of his blood disorder, and euthanize him herself. She was sick of all this death and destruction surrounding him. All she wanted to do was hold Liam and take away his pain.
When he got to the hospital with Da'an, the doctors wanted to amputate Liam's hand. However, Ta'lay convinced Liam to undergo the same surgery that had been used by Ne'eg to regenerate Julie Payton's hands. Ta'lay was just as skilled with the technique if not more, and it had been a successful surgery. The technique had been passed on to several human scientists all over the world, and was constantly being perfected. However, with all the work being done all over the world, the operation was still purely experimental. There was always a chance that the cells could die. Then, Ta'lay would be forced to remove his whole hand and replace it with a prosthetic. Until then, Liam tried to enjoy the new hand.
When the service was over, all the mourners had left, and the body was good and buried, Liam shook hands with the minister and left with Renee.
"I wish you had left earlier," Liam said to her. "You didn't need to be here any longer than you had to."
"I didn't want to leave you," Renee said, shaking her head.
Why couldn't he understand that she loved him? What other woman would put herself through such misery just to have a moment with him?
"Thank God it's all finally over," Renee whispered attempting to rest her head on his shoulder as they walked back to the car. "Da'an's out of the hospital, you've got a new hand, the press is dying down, and all the funerals are done with. Maybe now we can finally relax."
"Renee, don't take this the wrong way," Liam said mournfully, nudging herfree while removing his tie and opening some buttons in his shirt to give his skin some air, "but I'm drained and I'm done. All I want to is go to the only home I know of without even the slightest bit of conversation."
"Sure, Liam," Renee said dejectedly, opening the car door on the passenger side. "I'll even drive to save you the burden of having to concentrate on the ride home."
Liam sighed. He should have apologized, but he was just too tired and too sad.
When they made it back to the lair, Tay'jay, Mi'en, Auger and Street were sitting silently in separate chairs with solemn and worried looks on their faces.
"What's going on now?" Renee asked in a defeated tone.
"It's Da'an," Auger said solemnly.
"What's wrong with her?" Liam asked in an alerted tone.
Renee gave a mental scoff.
"Ta'lay and Curzon are arranging to have her hospitalized," Auger said.
"Where is she?" Liam asked fearfully.
"She's in the room next door, but I wouldn't—"
Liam brushed past all of them and ran inside before Auger could finish. He entered a dark room. When Renee and Auger tried to pull him out, Liam closed and locked the door. When he turned on the light, he found that most of the bulbs had been smashed. The mirror had shattered, leaving the dresser littered with glass. The sheets on the bed had been torn, and a huge shard of glass lay on the torn mattress. He found Da'an lying on a portable stasis bed. When he tried to touch her, he saw that a virtual glass shield kept her pinned tightly on the bed. Her hair was ghostly white and her sleeves were torn where it looked like she had been grabbed. Liam could tell she had been crying and that she had also been sedated.
"Da'an," he whispered, disabling the virtual glass shield, "what happened?"
He lifted her, and she opened her eyes. They were a dark, blood red color, but Liam could not tell if that was from her crying or something else. Her breathing was shallow and her voice was raspy. She had been screaming too.
"Liam…kill me. Please kill me."
Liam had no idea what to do. He bent down on his knees, removed suit his jacket, wrapped it around Da'an, and pulled her close. Her tears burned him and her as they flowed from her eyes to his neck. Both of them were powerless. Da'an appeared how Liam felt: tired, defeated and completely powerless. How could he blame her when he wanted to do the same thing to himself? So all he did was hold her and cradle her until Ta'lay and Dr. Curzon arrived.
The End
