Chapter Seven: Who I Am Hates Who I've Been
I stared at my reflection in the mirror, quite impressed with myself. I had never been one to brag about my looks, but I couldn't help but notice the fact that I had great legs. In this mini skirt, they seemed to go on for miles. I'd done everything that I was supposed to these past few days. Around Karen, I had been extra eager to learn about my step-brother's new girlfriend while, although she didn't know it, I was getting all of the inside dirt. I knew for a fact that, tonight, he was going to be going to his mother's cafe' with her. What was Lucas not expecting out of his little date? Catching me and my date there too.
It seemed like the perfect plan. I'd use some random to make Lucas jealous and then he'd come running back to me, apologizing about what an idiot he'd been. Yes, he had already apologized time and time again about falling onto Lily's lips, but I didn't want to hear it. I wasn't going to forgive him until we were even. I wasn't going to forgive him until he had to sit and watch me kiss someome else as well. Call me baby-ish or whatever you please, but I don't give a damn. I had to watch that blonde Barbie doll stick her tongue down my boyfriend's throat and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. So, now, Lucas was going to have to go through the same torture. Two could play that game, Lucas Scott. Two could most definately play that game.
I finally stepped away from the floor length mirror when I heard a knocking on my bedroom door. I spun around, getting those usual butterflies in my stomach. Lucas had already left with his 'date' for the night, but a part of me couldn't help but hope that it was him who was coming into my room. I could just imagine him wrapping his arms around me and kissing me right now.
Nope, definately not Lucas. Not even close to being Lucas. As a matter of fact, if it were Lucas, I'd be totally grossed out right now. "Dad.." I said as cheerfully as I could, forcing a smile onto my lips. I tucked a blonde curl behind my ear, waiting for my father to speak. It wasn't everyday that your father came into your bedroom before you went on a date. Hmm..Awkward much?
"Peyton, I uhm.." He shuffled his feet around and I had to stifle a laugh, my eyebrows raised slightly. "Dad, it's a date. I'm not gettin' married." I reasoned with my father, resting a hand on his shoulder to be of some comfort.
I took notice of the semi-pained look on his face and the smile on my own faultered just slightly, my eyebrows crinkled together in confusion. Did he know about me and Lucas? God damnit! I opened my mouth to speak, but he beat me to it.
"I found this in the trash this morning." He began, taking out a used condom wrapper. My eyes widened in shock and I was seemingly speechless. What was I supposed to say? For some reason, I had this nagging feeling that dad wouldn't want the details of my sexcapades with his stepson.
"Oh, uhm.." I stuttered out, my eyes wandering around the room as I attempted to search for an excuse. Finally, I gave in, looking at my father, who seemed to be struggling with words as well.
"At least you're being safe." He said with a smile and my eyes widened, my face scrunched up in disguist. "Dad! Please!" I pleaded loudly, rubbing my forehead tiredly. I didn't want to be hearing this at the moment. It was sickening to think about, quite honestly.
Silence consumed the room for only another moment before I cleared my throat, grabbed my purse and began walking past him and to the door. "I've got a date. I'll be back later." I explained all too quickly, taking this majorly awkward experience as the oppurtunity to leave the room. I ran down the stairs, past Karen and out the door where a black sports car was waiting for me.
Wow, he didn't even have the decency to get out of the car. I heard the loud honking and sent him a quick wave just so that he knew that I was here. I opened the car door and crouched down the get inside before slamming it. "Hey, Nathan." I said with a small polite smile, less than interested in him. I couldn't help the fact that he wasn't my type in the least. He was tall dark and gorgeous. I liked tall blonde and gorgeous. Although their eyes were both the most beautiful blue. Hmm..If I didn't know any better, I'd say that they could have most definately passed as half brothers or something. Maybe in another lifetime.
I leaned in and kissed Nathan's cheek, trying to ignore the fact that he had leaned in for my lips. "So, where are we going?" He asked me and I almost immediately went through my purse to grab my mirror. I applied my lip gloss as I spoke, still quite the little valley girl. "Karen's cafe'." He said with a nod of my head, shoving both the mirror and the lip gloss into my purse.
The drive to the cafe' was spent in awkward silence, much different than all of my other experiences with Lucas. I didn't know all that much about dating, but I did know that you're not supposed to be thinking about your step brother when you're on a date. Normal people don't do that. Then again, I never did claim to be normal, did I? What was normal anymore, anyway? People wore earrings in their tongues and permanantly etched other people's names to their asses like a branded cow. If that was normal, then I wasn't so sure that I wanted to be.
We arrived soon enough and I got out of the car all too eagerly, sending my reflection one last glance through the rear view mirror. I linked my arm with Nathan's, allowing him to lead me into the cafe'. With a small clearing of my throat, I opened the door and entered, my green eyes searching the small, intimate setting for a blonde haired blue eyed teenage boy.
I found him sitting on a couch with the blonde whore on his arm, looking less than interested as she blabbered on and on about some sort of useless information. Knowing girls like her, she was probably giving him makeup tips or talking about her last rendezvous with the pool boy.
I smirked upon seeing the look of disinterest on his face, tightening my grip on Nathan's arm. "Let's get a table.." I said with a small giggle, eyeing Lucas, who still didn't seem to notice that I was there. We walked to a table right near the couch and, although it hadn't been planned, I couldn't been more pleased with the location.
Nathan, of course, didn't pull out my seat for me so I did so myself and sat down, my legs crossed under the table. "Thanks for taking me out tonight." I said a bit too loudly for my own good, wanting Lucas to hear every last detail. I looked over at him just in time to see him turn his head to look at me as well. Lucas's eyes seemed to glimmer with suspicion and he leaned back on the couch, not quite sure what to say.
I turned my attention back over to Nathan when he spoke, trying to stay interested in him. "Thanks for finally going out with me. I've been asking you out for months, P." He shot out with a cocky smirk that almost made me want to laugh. Had I not been in love with Lucas, I probably could have fallen for this guy. If nothing else, I knew that we would have had amazing sex.
"Peyton.." No, the voice didn't come from Nathan this time. It was a bit more cautious with a hint of anger. I whipped my head around to look at Lucas, who seemed furious. "Luke!" I said, pretending that I had no idea that he was going to be here. "Lara, I had no idea you guys were going to be here!" I continued on, purposely messing up the Barbie Doll's name. Score: 1 Peyton, 0 Lucas.
"It's Lily...And..Uhm..That's funny because I told you I was going to be here last night...We were in your room..I'm pretty sure we were even lying on your bed...at around midnight." He said, narrowing his eyes at me. I could sense his hostility and knew that he was about to blow, but I kept my cool.
"Huh...Well I didn't do anything interesting last night, so I probably just blocked all of that out." Yes, Lucas and I had slept together last night. Had it been a low blow? Maybe, but whatever. I wasn't going to play nice. He wouldn't let me be jealous of him and Lily but I'm supposed to just sit back and relax while he shoots insults my way? I don't think so.
Lucas let out a hostile laugh as he rubbed his hand over his face. I averted my eyes from him and crossed my arms over my chest like a little girl, turning towards Nathan. "Do you wanna get outta here?" I asked, standing up and gathering my things. Lucas jumped up from his couch before my date could even answer me and grabbed onto my arm, pulling me over to the side without another word.
"You're not leaving here with him, Peyton." He warned me with a slightly threatening glare. I was tempted to kiss him. Tempted to spit in his face. Tempted to slap him. Tempted to do all three of them, actually.
I rolled my eyes, ripped my arm out of his grasp, and once again crossed my arms over my chest. "Why shouldn't I? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just.." I began to rant, but felt his lips against mine gently. I opened my mouth almost immediately to deepen the kiss and felt myself begin to get lost in him. Once I finally realized that I was giving into him, I forcefully pushed him away from me, a small pout on my lips.
"You can't just do that everytime that I get mad at you!" I objected, trying my hardest to stay strong and not give into him. I could see the wheels turning in his mind and, before I knew it, Lucas brought his hand up and tucked a stray blonde curl out of my eyes.
"..I love you.." He said softly, half scared of the words himself. My eyes widened and I looked around, making sure that no one could see us. As long as no one was going to have to use a pay phone or pee, we'd be good for a least a couple of moments. Nothing else was back here except for extra chairs, and they seemed to have plenty of those scattered about the restraunt.
"You...You what?" I asked breathlessly, no longer angry with him. More than anything, I was shocked. Had he just said that he loved me? Did he mean it?
Lucas swallowed and stayed silent for a beat before shaking his head and leaned down to kiss my nose. "I said I love you, Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer." Lucas repeated, continuing to play with my hair as if he couldn't stop himself from touching me.
My eyes stayed wide with shock and I locked my eyes onto his blue ones, still searching for the right words. "What am I supposed to say?" I questioned, still in complete confusion and shock.
Lucas laughed gently and shook his head, leaning in and kissing my forehead. "Saying it back would be nice." He joked, playfully rolling his eyes.
I laughed along with him, nodding my head. "I love you too." I finally admitted, no longer angry or afraid of my feelings. Wow, there it was. I was in love for the first and only time in my entire life. Of course, it had to be with someone that I was forbidden to be with. The world was so damn cruel.
