PART VII
Holidays ended far too quickly for Lily's likely, and she was harshly thrust back into the real world. She had grown unbelievably close to the three Gryffindor boys. She was sure that both Remus and Sirius were completely sure of her feelings, as she had seen them glancing slyly her way whenever James entered the room.
The 7th years were bustling around furiously getting back into the swing of things. NEWTs were drawing near, and all of those overachiever students (The Ravenclaws + Lily) were already in the review faze. The teachers had sped up the pace of their teaching in order to get in every possible spell or question that would be on the tests.
"Class!" Professor Prewett exclaimed pulling the students away from their conversations. "Exams will be upon us quickly, and the headmaster has informed me that it would be for your benefit to learn how to defend yourselves against dementors. It will most likely be extra credit for the exam. Focus on your happiest memory. The incantation is 'expecto patronum.' If it is done correctly than an animal will come forth from your wand to protect you. Your patronus resembles whichever animal you have a special bond with, an animal you feel safe with. Most grown wizards can produce a wisp, but few can make a corporeal patronus."
The students looked around at each other excitedly. They hoped that they could do it. Lily couldn't help but beam as she imagined getting extra credit on the exam for doing something so difficult.
The professor showed them the proper wand movements and used his patronus as an example. It was an eagle. Lily was awed as she took notice of the pearly white bird flying around the room before it faded away into nothingness. He told them to get started, and everyone immediately began practicing.
The marauders were the first to produce any results at all. James and Remus had indistinct shapes coming from their wands. Sirius was getting extremely frustrated. He couldn't keep up with his own friends. Even Peter was doing better!
"I can't do it!" he exclaimed, slamming his wand down on the desk.
Lily took pity on him and walked over. "Why don't you try focusing on a happier memory? What's the one you're using now?" she asked.
He looked up at her wearily. "When I bought my apartment," he finally said. "I was so happy to have all that freedom."
Lily pursed her lips thoughtfully. "I think I know why that's not working. The reason you bought that place was to escape your relatives, and you associate negativity with your family. Pick something that's stronger," she suggested.
He thought about it for a while, than he triumphantly picked up his wand. "Expecto patronum!" he bellowed. An indistinct shape came out, and he grinned.
"What did you pick?" Lily asked curiously.
"That day we had the snowball fight," he answered. "It was just pure fun." He grinned and tried the spell again. This time a definite form was seen. Lily cheered and the others took notice. The rest of the class started clapping (minus the Slytherins).
"Merlin, Padfoot!" James cracked up. "How self-obsessed can you get?" Remus, Peter, and he all seemed to think it was hysterical, and Lily was confused.
"What are you talking about?" she asked bewildered. It was a huge dog. How did that make him self-obsessed? And why did he call him Padfoot? Was that another weird nickname they had for each other?
"Never mind," James shook his head amusedly. "So why don't you try? Let's see if you can do it." He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed.
Lily raised her wand, her features creased in determination. A memory…what could she pick? Something with her parents? No, too bittersweet. Getting a good grade? Not special enough. She had it! But would it be wrong? Lily focused on the image in her mind, the feeling, the warmth. "Expecto patronum!" she cried. A vague shape came out, and it faded rapidly. No one else in the class noticed save James, Remus, Sirius, Peter, and herself. It was some type of four-legged creature with antlers. A stag perhaps? It wasn't what Lily was expecting. She didn't even think she had ever come in contact with one. Lily had never felt any particular like towards the animal, but this one in particular, it meant something to her, and she didn't know why.
She turned and looked at the others. They were staring at the empty space where her patronus had appeared in disbelief. "What?" she asked self-consciously. "Were you expecting something else?"
Remus cleared his throat. "No…well yes. It's not that I was expecting anything in particular but not that…" he drifted off.
"Why?" Lily demanded. "What's wrong with it?"
"It looked kind of weak to me," Sirius snickered. James glared at his friend as did Lily.
"Well it's not what I'd thought it'd be," Lily admitted.
"What did you think it'd be?" Remus asked curiously.
"Oh I don't know. I've always liked wolves," Lily responded. She noticed Sirius and Peter break into another round of snickers, Remus paling slightly, and James frowning. "What?" she asked dumbly. "Is there something that I'm missing?"
"Oh nothing Lily dear," Sirius assured her as he slipped an arm around her shoulder. "I'm rather fond of wolves myself." He threw an exaggerated wink in Remus' direction when Lily wasn't looking. "Of course, dogs are much better."
"Dogs used to scare me when I was younger," Lily informed him. "This huge black one jumped on me while I was swimming and pushed me under the water. Then it bit me once I got out."
Sirius removed him arm and waggled his eyebrows at her. "Well I don't bite…much," he whispered suggestively. She nearly swooned as his warm breath tickled her ear. He wasn't popular for nothing! That boy was pretty good looking.
She giggled. "I guess I'll never find out," she sighed with a smile.
"Sure you can! Anytime!" Sirius responded enthusiastically.
Lily was about to reply, but James had pulled Sirius away towards him. He looked sort of angry. "Are you feeling alright?" Lily asked him concernedly.
He stopped and smiled fakely at her. "I'm fine," he insisted. "But you and Sirius were getting awful close don't you think?"
Lily scowled. "What are you implying?"
"I'm just saying that you guys were acting pretty friendly, and Sirius has a bit of a reputation."
"I'm the same age as you, James, so don't start acting all older brotherly on me!" Lily told him angrily.
"I'm not! I'm just warning you, since you're so inexperienced," James replied.
"You don't know anything about my experiences," Lily muttered. "Just because I look young, doesn't mean I act like it!" Well, she kind of did, but he didn't need to know that.
He raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And who have you been messing around with then?"
Lily flushed but responded coldly. "None of your business."
"That's code for no one," Sirius cut in. Lily glared at him, and James laughed.
"Why do you care anyway?" she questioned.
"Because… you shouldn't…I mean you… you should not be doing that kind of stuff," James spluttered.
"Why?" Lily was fuming. "You do!"
"You shouldn't be out screwing around with random blokes!" James said loudly enough so that people nearby turned and took notice for a moment.
"Don't worry," Lily hissed. "I don't 'screw around,' especially after what happened to me when I was attacked." The bell rang, and she began to walk away.
James looked pained and guilty. "Wait! Lily! That came out wrong! I'm sorry. I don't want us to fight!" he jogged after her.
She turned around abruptly, making him smack into the wall at the sudden halt. "It's fine," she smiled and helped him up. She just couldn't stay mad at him. He was so cute and amazing and thoughtful and sincere and polite and sexy…whoa! She had better stop before she started drooling. Now that would be some major embarrassment, literally drooling over a hot guy in front of him.
"Let's go get some lunch," he suggested and pulled her along before she could even form a reply.
Lily sat down at the table next to Remus. The boys were exchanging mischievous glances. "What are you up to?" she asked suspiciously with narrowed eyes.
They all looked away from her and began whistling tunelessly. "Oh nothing Lily dear," Sirius said innocently. "Nothing at all."
"You may want to direct your attention over towards the Slytherin table though," James added.
Her head spun around so quickly, the others were surprised her neck didn't crack. Then the fun began. Snape rose from his place and began flapping his arms like wings. He looked around confused and opened his mouth. A loud cluck sound made its way out. Rodolphus rose from his seat next in an attempt to quiet his friend. An involuntary moo sound left his lips before he could stop it. Bellatrix was horrified at her boyfriend's actions. The next thing she knew, she was excitedly barking. If she had a tail, Lily knew that it would have been wagging.
"Look she's acting like the bitch she really is!" Sirius shouted out through the ever-growing laughter.
Lily couldn't quite contain her laughter at the scene. The other Slytherins had edged away and were taking in the spectacle wearily. The other three houses were cheering and cracking up at the expense of their classmates. Professor Slughorn and McGonagall had risen and attempted to calm everyone and reverse whatever was on the three Slytherins. Dumbledore had a small smile on his lips and a twinkle in his eye. Apparently, he approved of the way that the marauders had retaliated.
Finally the prank finished and the laughter died down. "That was pretty funny," Lily admitted. "Thank you," she whispered to them softly.
Remus gave her hand a squeeze. "Anytime," he replied.
A couple of days later the chatter about the prank had died down. Lily and the marauders were as close as ever. It was time for potions class, and so she gathered up her things and prepared to walk towards the dungeons. She couldn't fully suppress the shiver that made its way up her spine as she drew close to the room that she had been attacked in, but she bravely marched on with her head held high. She was a Gryffindor after all. Seemingly ages later she reached her destination. Lily took her usual seat at the front of the classroom and waited for the lesson to start.
"Good afternoon class!" Professor Slughorn announced jovially. "Today I've decided that you're going to make a Draught of Living Death. I taught this to you last year, so I expect all oustandings! Begin."
Lily immediately began working. Her hands mechanically knew what to do. She understood the art of potions, the subtle ways to make one better, and the ways to make it worse. It was a thin line between right and wrong.
The only other person she knew who shared her love for the subject was Severus. She couldn't think of him quite the same now. True, she had felt something radiating from him- uncertainty perhaps? She understood that even if he had wanted to (which he very well might have) stop what was happening, it would be suicide. Being born on the wrong side of things could be tough. Still though, Lily harbored a definite grudge towards him. She had stuck up for him against the marauders more times than she could count, and she wasn't sure if she regretted it. That scared her. Even if someone had turned out bad, did that make it ok for them to be bullied and teased as a small child? No one's born evil. It's the choices everyone makes that leads to the adult they eventually become. Lily saw Snape's indecision and hoped he would choose correctly.
Lily began stirring her potion until it reached the correct color. She looked bemusedly around the classroom at her peers. Sirius was swearing profusely at his cauldron, which was bubbling over something frothy and green. Remus was shaking his head in amusement beside his friend, as he added the proper amount of ingredients to his potion. James was staring down at his work with an intense look of concentration on his face. Lily' stomach gave an unfamiliar jerk, and she couldn't help but notice how perfect he looked. Peter, poor Peter, was way out of his league. He had barely qualified for the class, and only with lots of extra help from his friends did he pass his entrance exam.
A loud thump was heard, and Lily jumped about a mile. That stupid boy had knocked his potion over. The contents of his cauldron were advancing rapidly around the room. Both Lily and Snape immediately jumped up on their chairs. They were intelligent enough to realize that the potion made was far from correct and the results could possibly be disastrous if someone touched or ingested it.
"Don't panic!" Professor Slughorn called out. Move away from the potion. Do not touch it!" Others followed the lead of Lily and Severus and jumped up on their chairs, while some just wearily shifted away from the mess. The professor pulled out his wand and attempted to clean up the thin red- almost explosive looking- liquid. "By Merlin!" he exclaimed. "What did you do boy?" The mess had doubled. It seemed to repel the onslaught of spell attempts.
"I don't…I don't know!" Peter stuttered nervously. "What did I make?" he asked frantically.
"If I had to guess," Snape piped up. "He added extra soporific beans before the lacewings. Stupid Gryffindor," he muttered the last part bitterly.
Lily paled as she thought over what the combination must have produced. "You created poison!" she hissed.
"Everyone out!" the professor bellowed. "Careful not to step in it. This'll have to be cleaned carefully by hand. Mr. Pettigrew! You have detention with me for the next week!"
The class carefully filed out. Lily turned around for a last glance at the room. She could've sworn she detected someone from the corner of her eye with a vile in hand. Lily turned her head quickly but saw no one there.
She caught up with James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. "Brilliant Wormtail!" Sirius chuckled. "How'd you do it?"
He shrugged unsurely. "It really was an accident."
"You could've hurt someone!" Lily exclaimed announcing her presence. "How could you have been so careless?" She was also curious about the nickname he had been called. Wormtail? What was that supposed to mean? She took notes of it and decided to check it out later.
"Personally, I wouldn't mind some of those Slytherins getting hurt," Sirius replied.
"They're just kids too!" Lily told him. "No one deserves pain."
"How can you say that?" James asked incredulously. "They're the ones responsible for you getting hurt!"
"No," Lily answered him. "Voldemort," she noted that only Peter flinched. "Is the one responsible. These kids are just the product of brainwashing from their families. Voldemort is the only one truly behind everything. He put prejudice into action."
"I suppose you're right," Sirius said thoughtfully. "Trust me, I know a thing or two about brainwashing relatives."
"Come on," Remus said trying to get them off the heavy topic. "Let's go. We have a free period, and I for one don't want to spend it all in this corridor."
The others quickly agreed and moved on from both their conversation and their places in the hall.
Lily pulled Remus to her room once they reached the head tower. "I have a problem," she whispered seriously.
"What?" he asked scared. "You haven't gotten hurt again have you?"
"Worse," Lily mumbled.
"What? What could possibly be worse?"
"I'm in love," she told him quietly. A single tear made its way from the corner of her eye and down her face. "And he doesn't even know I exist."
"With who?" Remus questioned already knowing the answer.
"James, it's always been James. I tried to ignore it, but it just sort of hit me you know?" Lily wiped her eyes furiously. "Anyway, I need your help. And I need you to be discrete. We have to come up with a plan."
"What?" Remus was shocked. "My help? What do we have to do?"
Lily plucked up all of her courage and pecked him on the lips. "We'll think of something." She left silently, leaving the boy alone in her room.
"What have I gotten myself into?" The question left his lips and seemed to reverberate through out the air. The eerie quiet was his only answer.
