A/N: Lots of flipping perspectives and lots happening here. It also gets slightly hard towards the end, I tried my best to be brief. You will get it when you read it. Thanks for reading, reviewing, faves and follows.
Band is Grinderman.
Chapter 9: Love Bomb
Jax made his way to the motel and parked by Alex's Jeep Wrangler. He could see through the curtains that the lights were on, as he expected, which meant she was still awake. He left his bike and stood by it, silently, for a few minutes.
On his short way to the motel, he wrestled with two thoughts: he needed to break things off with Alex but he also wanted to be with her. It was confusing and messy, as everything else in his life at the moment, but seeing how scared she was of him when she realized what he did to her ex made it clearer than ever that while he desperately wanted her in his life, she should not be in it. She didn't belong there. He knew from the moment he met her she didn't belong there, but he continued to cling on to his idea of her and what she represented for him and selfishly ignored the obvious. If he took any longer to break this off, it would only get harder and harder to do it.
He took a deep breath, resolved, and walked towards the door.
[xxx]
Alex was sitting in bed staring at the TV, Sid slept soundly on the bathroom tiles; he preferred their coolness to the wood and carpets of the room.
She had been staring at the TV for some time now, first she flipped endlessly through channels, then finally just settled on a music channel, but kept the volume muted. She recognized as the video for Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit came on, and her mind wandered to the times she'd been to Seattle, but only for a moment, and before she knew it her thoughts were on what happened the last days.
She still felt utterly appalled at the fact that even beaten out of his mind, Scott still tried to manipulate, control and even physically hurt her. She touched her wrist where he yanked her with the tips of her fingers, and wondered what could've happened if he wasn't bedridden and on painkillers. She glanced at her phone by the bedside table and noted how he hadn't called her at all, and how deeply hurt he looked when she told him she was fucking Jax Teller. Again, she was appalled at the fact that the only thing that seemed to keep him in line was that little fact, no doubt compounded then by the beating he'd gotten from Teller, and not that she had asked him to stay away from her. That made her increasingly angry, more than she'd like to admit. Yet, she felt some unexplained joy at remembering the look on Scott's face.
Regardless though, she had made a real effort that evening to try and think of her situation with as much clarity and reason as possible. Jax Teller was a criminal, he beat up her ex-boyfriend, and was involved into some deeply troubling dealings with his motorcycle club. He seemed at true odds with this facet of his life, but none of it changed that this was his life. No matter how drawn she was to him and his struggle and her curiosity and need to help him, she knew she was threading dangerous waters and that she had to stop it.
Alex then heard the familiar rumble of the Harley approaching and getting louder outside, finally stopping in front of her door. She knew it was Teller. Sid's ears perked up and he lifted his head, alert. Alex got up from the bed and shushed the puppy gently before walking towards the door. She stood there for a moment, her hand reaching out to the handle. She knew what she had to do, even if she didn't want to do it, and looked down, gathering the courage before opening the door.
When he didn't knock after a few brief seconds, she opened it at once, and there he was. His head was down, so he looked slightly up at her. His expression was calm, but his ever-expressive eyes didn't lie, she knew he had to be thinking the same thing as her. Yet, all she could think of was how hurt Scott looked when she left the hospital.
[xxx]
Jax had been repeating in his head, from the few steps it took him from the motorcycle to the door, that he had to end this. He had made up his mind, and he hated the feeling it gave him, even if it was the right thing to do. When Alex opened the door before he had been able to convince himself to knock, he stared at her for a moment. Her breathing was intentional as he had seen many times before, but she didn't seem nervous or scared, simply apprehensive. He ran his eyes through every detail in her face and her body, now only covered by an oversized t-shirt, taking a mental picture of what would likely be the last time he saw her before they parted their ways.
He started to take one step forward and swallowed dryly before finally bringing himself to start.
"We need to ta-" he started, but before he could finish, he found the redhead in his arms. She leapt forward and their lips met, her arms went straight around his neck.
Fuck it, he thought, forgetting entirely what he had been thinking for the past few minutes. And grabbed her gently as she stood on the tip of her toes when she leaned for the kiss, and with a quick movement she had her legs around his waist. They continued kissing, intently, passionately, wet and breathy as if their lives depended on it and he supported her with his hands as he made his way inside the room and she kicked the door close.
What they both missed was AJ Weston's truck across the street and by a corner. The AB member took pictures from the moment Alex opened the door to when she closed, he also noted the plate on the Jeep, then started his car and went his way.
[xxx]
They were naked and sweaty and breathing rapidly, Alex was still on top of Jax, the weight of her body crashed in an embrace when they were done. She rested her head on his chest, her forehead touching his neck, and she could hear the rapid beating of his heart under her. She took deep breaths, and he gently kept his arms around her, one hand buried in her hair, the other on her back. Her legs were still straddling him, but she didn't want to move and he didn't want her to either.
"That did not go as I planned." Teller spoke between his equally heavy beathing. He felt her chuckle.
"Yeah, I didn't plan this either." Alex replied, her voice failed a bit, tired. She could feel her own heart still racing.
Alex closed her eyes as she felt him embrace her a bit tighter and just relaxed, slowly feeling her breathing and heartbeat slow down, as well as his. They stayed there for several seconds before he spoke next.
"You know I would never hurt you, right?" he asked lowly. Alex opened her eyes and continued to stare at the door from her view.
"I don't know that." Alex replied sincerely after a few seconds. "I want to believe it, but I don't know that."
"I understand." Jax replied lowly, then shifted so she would lie down next to him. She followed his lead and they laid on the bed facing each other, only a few inches apart.
"I don't know what to tell you so you can believe me, but I do understand why you don't," he moved her bangs away from her eyes, and looked at them at every word, as he moved the same hand to her waist, to keep her close.
"I've been thinking and I don't know if getting involved with you is a good idea," he continued, and she nodded. He knew she'd be thinking the same. "I know it's not, actually. I just can't stop it."
"I know that feeling." she smiled at their predicament and rolled so she could lie on her back, she stared at the ceiling for a moment.
"I don't know what to do here." he said sincerely and followed her. He supported his head with one of his hands, so he could look down at her, his other hand still at her waist.
Alex looked into his eyes for a few seconds in silence, she felt the tip of his fingers squeezing and running around her waist. She rested one hands on his arm there and the other she brought to his face, she ran the tip of her fingers through his scruffy beard and finally spoke.
"Teller, there's been something in your mind since before we've met," she started, carefully. He didn't move. "That much is evident. I know only the bits and pieces you've allowed yourself to tell me. I know your club is involved into some deeply criminal stuff, and I know you don't want that. I know some serious things happened recently and you've been awoken by this need for change, but I cannot figure out why this is so complicated."
Direct as ever, the redhead pieced it all for him. Her tone was calm, but her eyes seemed confused and almost inquisitive. He couldn't blame her. He nodded and dropped his head down for a bit, almost defeated, he had no idea how to respond to any of it. On one hand she was completely right, on the other it wasn't this simple. Her hand on his face moved him so he would look at her again, and he met a reassuring smile when he looked back.
"There are people in the club who do not want to go in that direction." Jax said simply. He knew where this was going. He knew that this was her way of letting him know that the only way the two of them could potentially work was if he was more open with her. He wanted to do it, but he also was mortified of how she could react.
"And what direction is that?" she asked, as calmly as before.
"What it was supposed to be from the beginning," he replied. "A community, a freedom movement that takes care of its people."
"Sounds idealistic," she replied raising an eyebrow. "I don't know many things, but I do know that there's no freedom movement in which you can't say what you mean to whom you please, and where your steps need to be accounted for, even if by those who supposedly love you. It's more than the criminal aspect at this point for me, it seems."
"Is that what's happening now? Ideologically?" she asked when he just looked at her in awe at her way with words and piecing it all for him.
"Essentially." he replied, as defeated as before. He tried to look down again, but her hand held his head in place, so he'd continue to look into her eyes.
"There's a fine line between a sense of community and accountability with one another and tyranny," she said categorically, he listened intently. "It sounds to me as if the criminal aspect of your club has pulled you in the direction of the latter. But my question to you is, do you think that removing the criminal aspect will heal your club in the other direction? Or is it now fundamentally broken? Are you trying to treat symptoms as opposed to curing the disease?"
"Jesus Christ," he said in a half-laugh after a few seconds, letting out a breath. He got even closer and ran his hand up to her face, he held her by the side of the neck very gently. She noticed his hesitation and smiled, when she didn't react, he got closer, their lips touching as he spoke next.
"This is what I get for going to bed with Oxford." he smirked, still looking at her eyes.
"I didn't mean to get academic." she whispered under him.
"You can't help it, it's sexy as hell," he replied and kissed her lips gently.
"Don't change the subject," she kissed him back but interrupted him with a smile, their eyes meeting again. "I am trying to understand better, so I can help."
"I think you are right," he continued lowly, now that they were so close again. "I've thought about it that way as well. And the longer I try to fix things, the more I believe that fixing it is impossible."
"So, what do you do?"
"I am thinking of going nomad," he said sincerely, for the first time out loud to anyone. She frowned, confused. "Going nomad means I'm still a member of the MC, just not attached to any one town… The rest of the nomads are spread out north. I attend meetings at different places, put a few more miles on my bike, and stay away from all of this."
"Do you believe it would help?" Alex asked. "Not the club, but you." at that she ran her hand from his face and placed it on his chest where the name of his son was tattooed, where his heart would be. "In here."
"I don't know." he answered truthfully. "It would at least take me away from here, it will likely make me see things more clearly. Outside perspective," he leaned forward and kissed her. "Like the one you have, and I can't seem to stay away from."
"Would you like to keep doing this while you figure it out?" she smirked after another kiss. He sighed and smirked back.
"Do I ever," he said, rhetorically. "I don't understand what you're getting from this, though. I mean, besides the obvious." at that he ran his hand down between her legs. She shifted with a smile.
"I felt nothing when I saw Scott. And he was absolutely furious when he asked me if I was fucking you and I said yes." she replied with a smile and he continued to touch her, an amused smiled on his lips. "Can't lie, that felt very satisfying. Does that make me psycho?"
"A little bit, but that's absolutely fine," he replied and kissed her lips again as his hand continue to make its way up her legs. "Happy to help, always."
[xxx]
AJ Weston made his way into Impeccable Smokes with a determined face. He stopped by the counter when Zobelle greeted him, interested in his lieutenant's sudden appearance. AJ removed the pictures he'd taken from Alex the day before, starting with the one from her leaving Teller-Morrow on top.
"Jax Teller, the VP, is sleeping with this girl." he said categorically and flipped to the next picture, Alex stopping by the diner with her dog. "Her name is Alex Williams, she's a journalist in San Francisco," he paused at that and caught as Zobelle raised his eyebrows.
"She writes about music," he added flippantly and uninterested. He flipped to another picture of Alex leaving her Jeep in front of the motel, and another of her entering her room. "She's currently on a leave of absence from her job. Her ex-boyfriend was arrested a few weeks ago after violating a protection order and going after her," he flipped to a mugshot of Scott, actually smirking. "And a day after that she goes on leave. I saw her the night we went after Mrs Morrow, which means she was in Charming right away."
"The ex-boyfriend then was then hospitalized two days ago in San Francisco, beaten to a pulp." he continued when Zobelle flipped through the pictures he had already showed. "No charges pressed, nothing. The same night the club blew up the lab. It points to Teller going after him."
"These were taken the night Teller returned from Eureka," he then showed pictures of Alex greeting Jax by her room and then subsequently in his arms and then inside just before the door closed. "If hitting the matriarch didn't work, maybe we could go after her. I don't think Teller would go after some girl's boyfriend in another city to beat him for no reason."
Zobelle observed the pictures with care, but said nothing for several seconds. He could feel the anticipation in Weston's eyes, and sighed for a moment, putting the pictures down.
"Miss Williams appears to be an outsider," Zobelle spoke finally, calmly and calculated as always. "If we go after her, this will turn for us and will spill outside of Charming. It will do us no good."
"We can still use it as leverage." Weston protested.
"Perhaps, but not the way you're thinking." Zobelle replied, then paused for a moment. "To my knowledge of the inner workings of those criminal MCs, dating outside of their pool is frowned upon," he gathered the pictures Weston showed him and handed them back.
"For the VP to be going in that direction, something seems off. Let's find out if the others know, and if they don't, we can make sure they do. That should ruffle some feathers, maybe they will go after her."
"So don't touch the girl?" Weston asked carefully. He had other things in his mind, but he could leave that part out.
"No, don't touch the girl." Zobelle ordered and glanced to the door as he noticed Jacob Hale Jr approaching, smiling.
"Ah, Mr Hale." Zobelle greeted looking past Weston when Hale entered the shop, which Weston understood to be his leave to go. Weston nodded to Hale as he left, thinking of the next part of his plan.
[xxx]
Alex was working in her room when the phone rang. Teller left halfway through the morning, after a phone call seemed to have spooked him. All he said that something happened to "one of his" in prison, he'd give her the details later. She took the day to start a draft of her piece: "Is the enemy of my enemy my friend? How race warriors in America find twisted self-righteousness on their crusade". She sent the first draft to Jimmy and knew he would call her right away, and like clockwork, he did.
"Alex, this is amazing." he said before she could even say hello. She smiled and sat up on the bed.
"Yeah, I'm not done yet." she replied, then got up and paced calmly around the room as they talked.
"It's still so great," Jimmy said excitedly. "Do you think we will be able to confirm this Zobelle guy is a CI?"
"Perhaps, Mills has no leverage to find that kind of information," she replied, then moved her head around, one hand on her neck, cracking. "But I may be able to pull something up. Just need more time."
"How are you getting this information on the town, though?" he continued as excitedly as before. "The police department and the local Nazis angle? The blackmail? Was it blondie?"
"Yeap." she said simply, she knew it was coming. At that she stopped and closed one of her eyes, making a frowned face, anticipating what was about to come.
"And is it just your charm?" Jimmy asked carefully.
"My charm, sure." she replied lowly
"Oh no, Allie," Jimmy groaned. He knew immediately what was happening.
"Sorry, I can't bloody help it." she sighed, and continued pacing around the room. "I know that compromises the piece, but shit is a bit convoluted right now for me on that regard."
"The I should not fuck delinquents regard?" Jimmy said in half-joked tone, but really incredibly worried. Classic fucking Alex. "This has always been convoluted with you."
"Listen, he's fine, everything is fine," Alex deflected. "I know what I am doing."
"Is it serious?"
"Of course not," she replied. "It has an expiration date. I am just living it for now. He's hot, we fuck, he gives me information, I... try to help him out. Rinse and repeat."
"Try to help him out?" Jimmy asked indignantly. "What the hell does that mean?"
"I told you, it's complicated, but not illegal, I swear," she assured him. "It does not matter."
"Does he know it has an expiration date?"
"He does." Alex replied confidently, but inside she wasn't so sure. It hadn't been exactly discussed that way.
"Jesus Christ, Alex." Jimmy scoffed on the other side of the line.
"Jimmy, please." Alex pleaded impatiently.
"Fine, alright." Jimmy replied, defeated. He knew if he kept pushing she would just not tell him anymore. "Well, keep me updated. And please be careful."
"Understood." Alex hung up. She then looked at her phone in her hand, still no calls from Scott. She smiled to herself, bit her lip and grabbed Sid, leaving for the day.
[xxx]
Alex walked towards Main Street, she hadn't had the chance to walk Sid much in the last couple of days, so she decided to give him a longer walk. The puppy trotted curiously a few steps in front of her, and as she turned on Main she slowed down her pace. Observing as a brawl between a few members of the Sons of Anarchy and a few skinheads she'd seen on Zobelle's shop and no one other than Weston was on the crisp of ensuing. She took a few steps but continued away as she observed a tall Son with a beanie approach the middle of the road.
"Oh no," Alex whispered to herself, at this point others stopped to watch. She looked to the other Sons smirking and didn't see Jax until from the opposite side she actually saw him on his bike, and scar lady from the party leaving the back seat.
"Fuck, no, no, don't do it," she stopped as she saw him speed up and skid, placing his bike between tall beanie Son and the nazis. She breathed out, relieved.
She observed as Jax left his motorcycle and removed his helmet, speaking to his friend as if trying to diffuse it. She couldn't hear it properly. Then just like that, everything turned to shit really quickly: Weston pushed Jax's bike, dropping it, and Jax just unleashed on him. She stepped forward instinctively, then restrained herself as the other skinheads and the Sons joined the brawl.
Alex looked around and saw as others stared as well. She noticed a police car was parked by the barber shop where everything started only as Jax threw Weston there and continued punching him. She also observed as the older Son she had seen that day at the abandoned gas station watched everything with glee, a smile on this face.
The police chief finally left the shop with his phone in his hand, and that's when Alex's eyes crossed paths with scar lady from the party, who had walked from where Jax left her towards the brawl, but still distant. She seemed apathetic to the brawl, but her eyes frowned when she landed eyes on Alex. Alex stared, blankly, then decided to turn around and go back to the hotel as sirens approached. She'd wait by the station. Bloody Jax Teller, should not have reacted.
[xxx]
When AJ Weston left the station with his men with nothing but a warning, another one of his brothers was already waiting outside with his truck. He greeted the man with a smirk, and another parked in a van to pick up the others. He got in his car and started to drive away, but also very inconspicuously noted that Alex Williams' Jeep was parked several cars down from his.
As he went his way he observed through the rear-view mirror as Alex followed him in her car, several cars away from him. She was good, but not that good, not now that he was onto her. Teller would have had to have enlisted her to follow him; she's was an unsuspecting little thing, but now he knew better. He smiled to himself, and pulled his phone as he drove away from Charming, Alex by his tail. Exactly where he wanted her to be.
"Yeah?" one his men answered on the other line.
"Are you following the Jeep?" Weston asked.
"Positive."
"Do it by the gas station, do it clean, do it quick." he ordered and hung up, leading Alex outside of town.
[xxx]
Jax sat with Piney outside the clubhouse and lit a cigarette, he took a deep breath and watched as his mother approached with Marissa by her side, the young nurse smiled at him and waved, making her way inside.
"Hey, what's going on?" Gemma asked, noting immediately the dark mood with the two. Jax, busted lip and slightly bruised from the fight before simply shook his head.
"Tough vote." Jax said simply.
He still couldn't believe he was able to convince Bobby to vote "no" on immediate retaliation. If he had Bobby on his side this was sure to go much faster in the right direction than he originally anticipated. He was even allowing himself to breathe in relief, and he found he was dying to tell Alex about it. He smiled for a brief moment and looked down, taking another drag of his cigarette.
"Where is he?" Gemma asked, taking off her glasses. She knew if Jax seemed this pleased, Clay would not be.
"He's inside." Piney answered this time. She nodded and walked inside, stopping by her office before looking for Clay.
Gemma frowned as she found another anonymous envelope addressed to her on top of her desk. She felt a cold in her stomach once again, and actually picked it up intent on throwing it away without looking. But curiosity ate at her and she opened it, pulling from it a magazine; The Co. She grew even more curious and went to a post-it note hanging off, marking a page.
As she opened the page, a couple of photographs fell from it and she grabbed them, she saw pictures of Jax and the redhead from the party and that afternoon, kissing in front of a motel room. It seemed fairly passionate.
She looked back at the magazine where the post-it note marked the page on an article about a Metallica show in LA, a circle around the author's name: Alex Williams. The post-it note read: What does she know?
Gemma rushed everything back in the envelope and put it in her purse, she then marched to the clubhouse to talk to Clay, unsure if she would share it with him yet, or at all.
Outside, Jax continued to smoke and now shared a beer with Piney. He would wait for the sun to set to go see Alex, that was always their deal. For no reason other than she usually was not around before that, or was working on her piece.
Jax watched as the sky started to turn pinker, his thoughts were on Alex when he heard a weak battery sound coming from a van that had been dropped earlier, it took him less than a second to find Chibs trying to start it, then jumping out of it as it exploded. Jax got up at once, in shock, watching as Chibs laid unconscious on the ground, the explosion threw him off, blood dripping from his head. Jax and the others rushed to his aid.
[xxx]
Alex followed Weston out of town, and recognized as he started to slow down and pull up by the gas station she actually had saw him for the first time. She slowed down too, passing it, and suddenly felt uneasy. Something wasn't right.
What happened next was too fast for her to rationalize: a van several meters behind her suddenly sped up as she slowed down to observe and passed her, and next thing she knew she heard a loud gunshot sound and the van speeding up and disappearing.
She stepped on the break, and felt her heart beating in her throat, instinctively she felt herself trying to feel if she had been shot, and then looked to Sid, lying lifeless on the passenger seat; a bullet wound through his body and blood dripping.
She screamed and started sobbing hysterically, grabbing the dog with both of her hands. Shaking uncontrollably.
Weston observed from his parked car through the rear-view mirror as Alex screamed and cried, clutching the dog against her body. He smiled, satisfied; he didn't touch the girl. He then pulled out of the gas station, while the redhead still screaming inside her car didn't notice as he drove off.
