A/N: This was actually part of the last chapter, but it got quite long. So, I split it into two, and this one is a bit shorter. I was going to wait longer to post it but I actually had DMs from people asking for more this time. I get it. It wad hard even for me to write it.
As always, thank you all!
Band is Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.
Chapter 10: Red Eyes and Tears
There was a ringing, first loud, then lower, then it felt like there was no sound at all.
Alex clutched the dog against her body and felt as her clothes started to get wet from his blood. She cried and screamed, and yet she felt like she couldn't even hear herself. Her hands ran through the dog's body and she felt the hole of the bullet wound but also the tiny shards of the passenger seat window that blasted with the shot. Most of the shards of the tempered glass had just fallen on top of him, but she could feel tinier sharper ones on his fur. For some reason she remembered at that moment of this one time she was talking to Mark Mills for a piece and he let her know that often a strong enough blast could break even tempered glass into sharp and dangerous shards and they were a pain to get out.
She realized she had stopped screaming, and suddenly felt really tired. The tears were still rolling down her face, and she had some difficulty breathing between her sobs. She swallowed dryly, and was brought back to reality by a persistent tap on her window. She jumped slightly on her seat, still clutching Sid and looked at the source: she met the eyes of the Latino teen who worked the gas station. His eyes were wide, he had a phone in his hand.
"Miss, are you ok?" she heard him yelling through the closed window.
When she just stared at him, still in shock and not really sure of what to do, he put his phone away and reached for the door handle carefully, motioning for her to open it. He tried a reassuring smile, but he looked as terrified as she was. Alex followed as he pointed to the door lock, and pushed it up quickly, unlocking the door and clutching Sid again.
"It's ok, Miss, it will be ok," his voice was shaky, but reassuring, as he opened the door. He ran his eyes through the scene inside the car and understood what happened.
He saw shards of the passenger seat window everywhere and the dog in the woman's arms, and pieced it all with the gun shot he heard just moments ago. He also noticed that the woman had several scratches in her right arm from the glass, some superficial, others were bleeding slightly. He offered his hands to hold the dog.
"Miss, it's ok," he approached her and she clutched the dog tighter. "Let me take your dog, just so you can get out of the car. You have to get out, there's glass everywhere, you are bleeding too."
Alex swallowed dryly at that and looked around. She saw several small sharp pieces of glass lodged in her right arm, but she was feeling nothing. Some of the shards were slightly bigger, and she also saw small and slow streaks of blood coming from where she scratched her arms against Sid. Yet, she still felt nothing. She did notice that she had trouble listening to the kid, and realized her right ear continued to ring and was muted.
"Miss, please, let me help you," the teen continued next to her. She looked back at him and nodded, handing him Sid very carefully.
"He-he's got glass on him, be careful," she spoke finally. Her voice failed at every word and he leaned closer as she spoke, he nodded reassuringly and grabbed the dog, stepping away.
Alex looked down at her white Sex Pistols t-shirt now drenched in Sid's blood. And some of it probably hers from all the scratches. She sniffed and tried to calm herself as she felt she was still shaking. She pulled the e-brake on her car and put on the flashing lights, surprising ever herself at how methodical she was being. She stepped out of the car and stepped on the glass that had fallen out as the kid directed her to the curb by the gas station parking lot.
She held Sid again, clutching him tightly against her. She never realized how heavy he was until now. She sat on the curb with the dog in her arms, only then she started to feel the sting of the tiny pieces of glass in her body. But she clutched the dog tighter, and it hurt more and more. She continued clutching anyway.
"Do you want me to call the police?" the teen asked, and she continued to stare at the asphalt, she just shook her head.
"Ok, that's ok," the teen said, and didn't insist. He looked around for a moment, the gas station deserted, the few cars that passed the road slowed down at the Jeep stopped in the road, but kept going.
"I'm going to move your car over, ok?" he said and she simply nodded. "Then I'm going to find an Animal Hospital to take him, ok? The closest one is in Lodi. You should also go to a hospital."
Alex nodded again without looking up, she started sobbing again and buried her face in the dog's neck.
[xxx]
Jax brought his hands to his face, taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself. He tried one more time looking through the motel window, everything dark, no sign of Sid either; he certainly would have barked. He looked around one more time, no sign of Alex's Jeep. He actually woke Lizzie and Jack, the motel owners, to ask if they had seen her return that night at all, and they said they didn't.
He got his phone and tried her again, no answer. He stopped himself short of throwing the cellphone across the street and took another frustrated breath. This could not be happening, first Otto gets jumped, then Chibs is almost blown into pieces and now Alex is missing. He couldn't stop himself from thinking the worst and feeling a wave of anger, fear, and guilt. The work he had done trying to convince the club on not retaliating was out the window now.
After Chibs was taken to St Thomas they had an emergency church meeting, and he was glad Bobby was actually the one to try to talk sense into Clay and the others that immediate retaliation wasn't the way to go and would like play into Zobelle's hand. Jax was so consumed with his emotions he didn't spoke at church at all, and just observed as Clay commanded Zobelle's death. Clay let them know Unser was looking into his address, and Jax hoped he could get to Alex fast enough to get it from her first and share with Hale, before it was too late.
It had been a long night and he tried to intervene with Opie as well, after Mary pleaded with him to do so, afraid that this would push Ope deeper into the club and farther from his kids. The conversation didn't go well and while Opie had assured him on several occasions that he did not have a death wish, he wasn't so sure.
Jax then rode straight to the motel to find Alex, it was late as always but not unusual for her to be up, and when he found everything dark and no sign of her Jeep, he panicked instantly. He had tried her phone now over ten times, and could feel every muscle in his body tightening in stress. He was about to mount his bike again and start literally looking for her when he saw headlights turning the street and approaching, he squinted and recognized the square shape of the Jeep's lights, he held his breath for a moment as the Jeep pulled closer and he recognized the redhead inside.
Thank fucking Christ.
He let out his breath in relief when she parked. But his calm was short lived. When he glanced at the car, he noticed she wasn't moving, she didn't even look at him. Her hands were on the steering wheel and, in the dark, he could see she had her head down, her hair falling all around her face. He knew something was wrong.
Jax waited for several seconds and when she didn't move, he took a deep breath and approached the car towards her side, he apprehensively looked inside and then noticed that the passenger seat window was gone, he could see the shining of shards of glass everywhere in the car reflecting the moon and street lights. He felt his heart racing and before he could try to open the door to the driver seat, she did it. He stepped back to give her space to get out of the car and his heart sank when she closed the door and finally turned to face him, her clothes and arms drenched in blood.
"Oh, my fucking god!" he said under his breath and immediately touched her. His hands ran through her, first directly to her waist and abdomen where most of the blood was, he tried to feel for a wound, but didn't feel anything.
"What happened?" he asked lowly, touching her gently but still not feeling anything. She just stood there still looking down. He stopped short of running his hands on her arms when he noticed the glistening of tiny shards of glass still lodged in them, shinning through her black ink and blank spots with the street lights.
"Alex," he said after a deep breath, he could not lose his cool, he had to keep it under control to help her. His hands then held both sides of her face, he noticed on her right cheekbone a small scratch, likely also from glass. She had blood marks from her own hands on her neck and face.
"Darlin', please tell me what happened." he said firmly, calmly but inside there was a pit in his stomach. She finally looked up into his eyes and he could see the red in them, she'd been crying, a lot. She stared at him for a few seconds, he watched as her eyes started to fill with tears.
[xxx]
Alex had driven like a maniac from the gas station to the Animal Hospital in Lodi, she got there quickly, she had no idea of timing anymore. The Latino teen, his name was Daniel, asked her if she wanted to call anyone and advised against her driving, but she took off as soon as he gave her the directions, thanking him briefly. She didn't know why she was driving so quickly; she knew Sid was dead. But she felt a jolt of sudden energy and it all led her out of there. When she busted through the doors of the small 24 Hour Animal Hospital with the dog in her arms, the staff rushed to her aid immediately.
They took the dog and all she said was that he was shot and he was gone, but she didn't know what else to do. One of the staff directed her to a private room and gave her some water and a first aid kit to help her. The girl tried her best and picked the larger pieces of glass from her, she also helped her disinfect the area of the smaller ones but she strongly advised her to go to an emergency room to have them properly removed, she also assured her it was all very superficial. Alex felt stings and the pain became stronger as her shock started to slowly wear off, but she remained expressionless.
The staff offered her their condolences for Sid and she requested that he be cremated, they said they'd take care of everything and call her back, but continued to adamantly tell her to go to a hospital. One of the techs even offered to take her, she declined and left saying she'd drive herself.
But she didn't. She went straight back to Charming. She didn't even know how she got back to the motel; she had no recollection of the drive back. She snapped out of it only as she felt Jax Teller's hands on her face, then looked into his eyes.
"They shot Sid," she whimpered before breaking down into tears all over again and collapsing in an embrace in his arms. He held her tight, but careful not to touch the tiny shards of glass on her arms, keeping one hand buried in her hair and the other on her back.
Jax felt his heart sink all over again, he held the redhead close as she sobbed in his arms, her face buried in his neck. He looked inside the car and felt horrible for not realizing right away that there was no sign of the dog with her.
"I am so sorry, baby," he whispered as she continued to sob. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
What kind of sick bastard shoots a dog? Who was they? It had to be Zobelle. But who did it? And why? What did they know? Did they attack her because of him or because they found out she was looking into them? His thoughts raced in his mind and he found himself becoming increasingly angry. This is not the time, not yet, he thought quickly and took another breath, deciding to make sure Alex was ok first.
"Listen," he said, but didn't move. "Let's get you inside, let's get you cleaned up." Alex nodded between sobs but did not move as well.
"Where is your key?" he asked, she didn't answer or move this time, still sobbing. He brought his hands to her face, so he could look into her eyes again. He noticed how unusual it was to see her like this. She was always so confident, but this was the exact opposite, she felt even smaller in his arms.
"Is it in the car?" he went back to action mode, asking simpler questions. She nodded, he took a few steps with her so she would lie against the car, by the front wheel. He gave her a soft kiss on her forehead and stepped away, opening the car and looking for her bag.
Jax grabbed the bag lying by the passenger seat and shook the glass off of it as much as he could, he noticed the pool of blood on the seat and shook his head, taking yet another deep breath to keep his calm. He went through the bag and found the big motel tag with the key quickly. He got out of the car and walked up to her again, she stayed exactly how he left her. With a free hand he touched the back of her neck gently and leaned close to her.
"Wait here for a moment, ok? I'll be right back." he said and she nodded quietly, looking down. He gave her another soft kiss on her left cheek and made his way inside the room.
Jax closed the door behind him, turned on the lights, and threw the bag on the floor. He quickly collected everything belonging to Sid; his bed, his toys, his dishes, his leash, his bone. Literally anything he could find. He moved quickly scanning the room and hid everything belonging to the dog under the bed so she wouldn't see it. Next, he went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, so it would get warm while he'd get her inside, then made his way outside to bring her in.
[xxx]
Alex was sitting on the bed, hair wet, and wearing her old Motorhead tshirt. She was feeling numb, and tired, and sat there emotionless staring at the floor of the motel room as Jax, next to her, continued to carefully work on her arm with a tweezer and a first aid kit, removing all the tiny pieces of glass he could find. He was shirtless and wore only his jeans, he had stepped in the shower with her to help her out. It was at the same time the most intimate they'd been so far and the least sexual.
"I still think you should go to the hospital later," he said lowly as before, as he picked another shard out and disinfected the area. Alex felt the now familiar sting, but didn't move. "We know someone that works at St Thomas here, she will help you and ask no questions."
Jax finished up and ran his fingers slowly through her arm to see if he could feel anything else. He couldn't, but the lack of reaction from the redhead also didn't help him figure out. He gave her a kiss on the shoulder as he noticed all the tiny red spots in her arm, some cuts here and there. It was all superficial and would likely go away soon, but he couldn't help but think how much it must have hurt, even if she now was numb to it.
He collected the first aid kit and the cup where he placed all the shards and put them by the desk, then returned to her, squatting in front of her as she continued sitting on the edge of the bed. She looked down at him in front her. She had stopped crying for a while now, and her eyes were still incredibly red. He grabbed both of her hands with his.
"Darling, I need you to tell me what happened," he looked into her eyes and watched carefully as she swallowed dryly. She nodded faintly and looked next to him to the floor.
"I saw the brawl, earlier," her voice failed, lowly, but he listened intently. She glanced back at him and with one hand she touched gently where his face was slightly bruised, he nodded. "I went to the station and waited on Weston to leave, when he did, I followed him."
Jax could feel the blood starting to run hot in his veins again, it took everything in him to contain his anger in anticipation of what she was about to say. He nodded, and waited patiently when she paused, looking for words. A rare sight for the quick-witted Brit.
"He drove out of town," she continued. "I did notice his men did not leave with him, but I think I was too focused on him." she stopped suddenly as she felt the tears filling her eyes again, she was so exhausted of crying. She swallowed them back, and cleared her throat.
"We were by the rest stop gas station just outside of Lodi when he pulled up, I slowed down." she stopped suddenly again and her head dropped. He waited patiently and squeezed gently both of her hands on his again.
"When I slowed down, the van with his men must have been following me," she said and he frowned, he didn't see that coming. "They drove past, shot at..." she trailed off and looked at him, her eyes pleading.
"Yeah, ok," he replied quickly, reassuringly. Shot at Sid, he finished in his head. "Did they drive away after shooting?" she nodded. "Did Weston?"
"Must have, I don't know." she shook her head. "I don't remember a lot." at that she noticed for the first time that the ringing in her ear was much lower and her hearing was coming back.
"The kid at the store helped me, I told him not to call the police," she continued and sniffed quietly, containing her tears again. "He got me an address for an animal hospital in Lodi and I just drove there, then back here. They took him and they will call me back when they have his ashes."
She broke down all over again. Jax felt tears in his own eyes, his heart breaking for her. He got up from the floor and sat on the bed next to her, bringing her into his arms as she sobbed. It was an incredible contrast to the lively assertive woman he knew up until now, not even when she first reacted to him touching her neck or when she told him about Scott, none of it compared to how broken she looked now. And it killed him inside to see her like this. Rage started to fill every ounce of his body all over again.
"Alex, you need to go back to San Francisco." he whispered firmly but still gently. He didn't want to admit that saying that was way harder than he anticipated, but he had to keep a cool head.
"No." she said firmly, for the first time, and he felt her body shift quickly in his arms, she moved so she could look at him. Her expression was serious, even if still tired. He saw a glimpse of the Alex he knew.
"You can't stay here, it's not safe." he replied, she shook her head. "Darling, it's bad. Zobelle had Aryan Brotherhood jump one of ours this morning in prison," she looked at him at that, that's why he had left earlier. "They stabbed his eye with a broom handle," she was still expressionless at that. "They also planted a van for the shop and when Chibs tried to start it in the garage, it exploded. He's in the hospital."
"If they wanted to hurt me, they would have already," she replied firmly. "They are not stupid, if they hurt me, it would come back to bite them."
"Maybe," he replied, she was right, but it didn't matter to him. She was hurt enough already. "It doesn't matter though. I don't know if they went after you because they found out about your piece or because they know about us. As I said, it doesn't matter, it's still not safe."
"Did you convince your club not to retaliate?" she asked pointedly, steering the conversation away. She would not go to San Francisco; this was a final decision for her. She would find out everything she could, and she would publish her piece and bury all of these motherfuckers with it.
He frowned, half in awe at her sudden calculation and half still worried.
"You know this is what they want, right?" she added.
"I know," he nodded. "I did at first, when it was just what happened to Otto in prison," he shook his head. "After what happened to Chibs though, they want blood and they want it fast. It will get messy."
"You can't let them do that," she was somehow still expressionless, the shock still looming over her. "I can take them down with the piece. They will back off. I want to do it. I need it."
"I can't hold them for that to happen, darling," he shook his head and smiled for a brief second at her determination fighting back, then touched her cheekbone where a shard had scratched lightly. "But I can get to them first and maybe avoid a bloodbath, while you have that in the works. Deputy Hale? He extended an olive branch and let us know Zobelle was onto us, he's willing to work with me. If we get to Zobelle and Weston first, he can hold them for questioning until I can work on the club to stand back and you can get things moving on your end."
"You need their addresses." she finished for him before he even had to ask. He nodded, and she got up walking to the safe and grabbing her laptop.
Alex stopped by the desk and worked on her computer for a second, writing stuff down on a piece of paper. He observed as she stood there, hair half dry, the computer screen lighting her face, still wet from her tears. She had a determined look on her face again, slowly going back to the Alex he knew. He stared as she continued writing, in awe for a second of how beautiful she was to him. Even like this. He swallowed dryly, afraid of the feelings that started to invade his head.
"Here," she ripped the piece of paper from the block and walked towards him, he was looking intently at her when she turned. He stood up and met her halfway, ignoring the paper she was offering him for a moment and holding her very gently by the neck with his hands, he kissed her on the lips without another word.
