PART XII
Over the next several days a good portion of the student population had come up and spoken to Lily about how wonderful her program was and how much it had affected them. She was a bit overwhelmed with the compliments but was happy to have helped.
Studying for NEWTs was becoming an increasingly important activity in Lily's day to day life, and she was feeling a bit stressed over the massive amounts of information she was trying to intake.
James and Sirius were being extremely frustrating in that they hadn't cracked open a single book as of yet and seemed not to have a care in the world. Remus was Lily's study partner and both of them helped Peter.
Lily was relieved that the service was over. It was one thing crossed off of her to do list. Her head was reeling with all of her activities. Never before had her life been this complicated. Of course never before had she been head girl, studying for exams, and juggling friends all at the same time.
"Ugh!" Lily yelled slamming her book shut. "I can't think! I'm so dumb. I'm going to fail everything. I just know it!"
Remus glanced at her sympathetically. "You're the smartest witch in our year. If you failed everything, than everyone else would receive trolls in every subject. They can't give a test that's so hard that everyone will fail."
"There's just too much!" Lily continued her rant hysterically ignoring Remus. "Charms, potions, transfiguration… how can they possibly expect us to remember things we covered one day in class years ago?"
"You'll be fine!" he tried to assure her.
"Sirius!" Lily called as he and James entered the room. His head swung around, and he looked at her curiously. "When was the act of reimbursement concerning magical creatures created and what does it say?" she asked desperately.
"It was made in 1632 after the goblin war. The ministry bargained with the goblins and they settled on reimbursing them with portions of land where all of the Gringott's are now built," he replied nonchalantly. "Everyone knows that."
Lily put her face in her hands and groaned. "Why don't I just die? Then I won't have to take these stupid exams and flunk them!"
James looked rather alarmed at her words. "Don't say that!" he told her, his voice bursting with an unidentifiable emotion. "Don't even joke about that!"
"Why?" she asked tiredly. "It's not like you even care," she added bitterly. She knew that last bit was untrue. After all he had saved her life multiple times this year. But she was still angry with how awkward things were between them.
"Lily!" He looked pained. "Of course I…"
"Spare me," she cut him off. "I have to get going anyway. I'm meeting Benjy in the library." She packed up her study materials.
"Benjy?" James asked sharply, completely forgetting his previous topic. "Is he your new boyfriend or something?"
She glared at him. "None of your business," she snapped. "Bye Remus, Sirius," she nodded to them on her way out.
The portrait door closed behind her. "She makes me so furious!" James announced to the room. "Why does she do that?"
"Because you love her?" Sirius suggested.
"No I don't! I'm too young to be in love! It's just a crush!" he protested.
"So you admit you like her at least!" Sirius cried.
He rolled his eyes. "It's just a crush! It's got to be!"
"Admit it James! You love her. You've known it for years. You're just scared. You don't want to end up like your mother."
"Don't you dare talk about my mother!" James was furious. His face was red and veins on his neck stood out.
"No! You need to hear this! I loved your parents. They were incredibly generous to me. But your mother hasn't been the same since the attack! You know that, and that's why you're so scared to be with Lily! You don't want to love someone as much as your mother loved your father just to lose them!"
"Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about! Leave me alone!" He stormed out of the head common room and slammed the door to his room shut. Sirius and Remus could distinctly hear him cast some locking spells.
The two remaining Gryffindors exchanged looks silently. Lily and James were so frustrating! They needed to get together. They obviously were in love. But they had so many issues!
Lily stalked out of the room and headed down towards the library. How was it humanly possible for someone to irritate her so much? James confused her beyond belief. He saved her life. They kissed. He acted jealous. Why wouldn't he ask her out? Did he just not like her? Was he just as confused as she was?
Lily felt kind of bad for lying to him though. She hoped he didn't try and talk to Benjy. He probably barely knew who she was. That would certainly lead to an awkward situation.
She was broken out of her thoughts as she noticed Peter coming up a set of stairs. "Why were you in the dungeons?" she asked puzzled.
His eyes widened slightly and he twitched almost imperceptively. "Practicing for potions," he answered quickly. "I'm so nervous! I just know that I'm going to fail."
She smiled at him. "Don't worry. You've been doing great when Remus and I tutor you. Do you want to go over anything right now?"
He nodded in reply, and they set off for the library. They sat in a table towards the back.
Lily looked up and saw Benjy sitting by himself. "Excuse me for a moment," she whispered out of the corner of her mouth to Peter. She slid into the chair next to Benjy. "Hey," she said cheerfully.
He looked up from his book. "Hi," he replied a little confused. "Can I help you with something?"
She grinned broadly. "Well since you asked…I kind of told James that we were meeting here to study, so if he asks later, can you please tell him we did?" she requested hopefully.
He looked at her suspiciously. "Sure, but why?"
Lily blushed slightly. "To make him jealous of course!"
He sighed. "Fine. If he asks I'll tell him we had plans."
"Thanks so much!" she gushed. "I'll see you later!" She walked back over to Peter. "I'm back!" she announced.
"What was that about?" he asked curiously.
Lily rolled her eyes and explained the situation to him.
Peter looked uncharacteristically thoughtful. "You know instead of making him jealous and forcing him to start the conversation, maybe you should just confront him." Lily looked mildly horrified so he hurried on. "I know you want him to be the one to admit his feelings to you and to ask you out. You're pretty shy with that kind of stuff. But James is extremely stubborn. Maybe if you kind of trap him, you can make him admit to things. Take it into your own hands!"
"Merlin Peter! That's brilliant! When did you get so smart?" Lily questioned enthusiastically.
He smiled smugly. "Oh I've always been brilliant. I just try not to brag about it."
She snorted. "You do a really good job of hiding it then."
"Hey!" he acted offended. "Be nice to the guy who just gave you excellent advice on your love life!"
"You're right. I'm sorry. If your studying skills are as good as your advice then you have nothing to worry about for NEWTs."
"Then let's hope," Peter joked. "I don't really need your help now. Go get your man!"
"You know I think I will!" Lily agreed.
She walked briskly down the corridors staring determinedly ahead. No one on earth at this point in time could distract her from completing this one task. Her eyes burned with a passionate fire that had rarely been visible since the attacks. To put it simply, she was a woman on a mission.
"Where is he?" she asked Remus and Sirius impatiently.
They seemed to have noticed the change in her demeanor for they just wordlessly pointed towards his bedroom door, their mouths flopping open.
Lily took no notice. She pulled her wand out from her robe pocket and murmured a slur of countercharms. She flung the door open and then slammed it behind her. James looked up at her startled. "Charms is my specialty. There's not a single locking charm I can't get through," she informed him.
"What are you doing here?" he questioned. "Shouldn't you be studying with Benjy?"
"Oh I made that up," Lily replied offhandedly. "I wanted to see your reaction, but a good friend of mine talked some sense into me. So now I'm going to talk, and you're going to sit and listen."
James looked slightly outraged at her first words, but after the intense glare she shot him he backed down.
"Ever since the kiss you've been acting weird, and you won't talk about it! I need to know! Do you like me at all? Was it a mistake? I've been waiting and waiting for you to come talk to me about it, but I guess you were too scared! All this year the only one that I've wanted was you! The thing with Remus was a set-up. I forced him to go along with it. Davy was my first kiss, and as much as I hated to admit it. I didn't want him to be it. I wanted it to be you. You've messed with my emotions for years now! You always flirted with me to embarrass me, and I resented you for it. But now I realize the reason why it got to me so bad was because I liked you. Please James, please, give me an answer. Do you like me or not? I miss you so much. Things are so different now. I swear if you don't want anything more, I'll leave it. But I need you in my life as at least a friend. I love you, you idiot!" she covered her mouth shocked as the last words escaped her lips. She wasn't planning on telling him that, at least not before he answered her question.
James was dumbfounded. His heart raced as Lily spoke so clearly and emotionally. He heard her declaration and did the first thing that came to mind.
He picked himself up off of his bed and wrapped his arms around her. Her tiny frame sank into his, and he didn't think that he could identify a more perfect fit anywhere. She shivered slightly in anticipation or nervousness he didn't know. I love you too," he whispered.
Lily's heart burst with joy at those four uttered words. She didn't think she had ever heard a more beautiful sound in her entire existence. His mouth covered hers, and she was lost in a sea of ecstasy.
She broke away and looked him square in the eyes. "You mean it?" she asked hopefully.
He couldn't help but smile at her perfectly innocent tone. She was practically angelic. "I do." He smirked. "Will you please be my girlfriend? I'd appreciate if you answered a bit differently this time than all of the previous ones."
Lily looked thoughtfully. "Hmm…" she giggled. "Well considering I just declared my love for you, I should probably say yes."
She paused for a long time. "Any time babe," he prodded.
She pouted. "Oh all right. Yes, James Potter I would love to be your girlfriend."
He grinned easily. "I always knew that you'd pick me over the giant squid," he teased.
Lily ruffled his hair. "Hey it was a pretty close decision." They smiled happily at each other for a few more moments. "Oh my gosh! I have to tell Remus!" she darted out of the room, leaving James standing there alone.
He shook his head. "She's such a girl sometimes!" he murmured.
