Jeez, well, I've been killing myself forcing myself to finally get another chapter out-- I really have no idea where I'm taking this, but I'm trying not to crash, at least. ENJOY after such a LONG wait!
Falling
Colors flashed in front of his eyes, a classroom blurred and psychedelic, the shapes shifting into colors and contours that resembled faces—Fuuma— or was it Subaru? And then they blended and stretched, and he thought he could see Kotori's heartbroken smile, and a tear that cried itself for his twin star, the golden eyes boring into him before blinding and matching a quiet, soft voice tinged with the undercurrents of sorrow, asking him whether he was going to eat or not.
"Kamui? Are you going to have lunch?" A pause, and Kamui was brought back to reality with a nauseating jolt, realizing that he was indeed, in his classroom, empty save for the boy standing in front of him, blonde hair mussed and brown eyes whirling with concern, "Kamui-kun, are you alright?"
It took the Seal a moment to answer, feeling disoriented and tired, his chest sore and tender to the touch of the edge of his desk, and he carefully leaned back, taking his time to answer, "Yeah…"
"Are you going to have lunch?" Keiichi repeated patiently, sitting in the desk beside Kamui's. Kamui wasn't sure whether to call him naïve or simply blissfully ignorant. The two went hand in hand, didn't they?
The ebony-haired boy considered it, but he had no appetite, and really, how would the fate of the world be affected by one meal? It was probably the stupidest thought he'd had in a while, but he was exhausted, mentally and physically. It was his first day back, and he had plunged himself into it with the tenacity of one who knows his life is at stake—except it was completely the opposite, since it was because his life was not at stake here that he immersed himself so resolutely into his lessons. It felt like a sort of twisted freedom to be able to do something so mundane as class, surrounded by people ignorant of the great battle that rested solely on the shoulders of a frail classmate, and would decided the fate of the earth… It was a shot of normalcy, a distraction from pain and darkness and the earth's troubles that had somehow diminished to become a young boy's wish to protect his friends, and—Oh God, Fuuma.
"Don't feel like it," he answered quickly, if only to overcome the face that hovered in front of his eyes, a smirk melding with a soft smile that had long ago disappeared in favor of the former. He knew the others would be mad. Yuzu and Sorata would scold him and try to force him to eat under Arashi's silently disapproving gaze, and Subaru… Subaru would quietly reprimand him, watching him… but at the moment he didn't care. Maybe he had pushed himself too hard—his head felt like it was filled with fog, and when he turned too quickly to meet Keiichi's eyes, the room spun slightly.
"You sure? Here, at least have a bite of my sandwich," the blonde offered, mercifully avoiding mentioning anything about Kamui's condition—he'd have to be blind not to see that Kamui was hurt, but he didn't pry, even if his eyes spoke volumes of how badly he wanted to be of use and comfort. Just being a caring presence was enough, but Kamui wasn't sure how to say that—it was preferable not to, he felt, though that could have been simple embarrassment speaking.
The violet-eyed boy chewed slowly, settling his head on his arms, crossed over the desk. He wanted to talk a little, the silence was stifling, but he was so tired…
"You can sleep, you know. You look like you need it," his classmate offered, and Kamui smiled shyly at him, grateful that he understood, even if he knew so little, and didn't question the why's or how's. It was also a smile asking for forgiveness, even if Keiichi would never catch the subtle undertone, because he didn't know. Never would Kamui be able to forget that he had destroyed his friend's family, a regretful casualty in this war of present and future, static and change. It hurt, because it reminded Kamui that it wasn't just the Dragons that were suffering, but innocent victims too, and that Kamui's choice was in truth, so much more than just his own. It made him feel guilt and remorse, and it was a despairing thought to know that he had the power —or was it weakness?— to kill everyone in the world. For if he wasn't strong enough to defeat Fuuma and return him to normal, then… the earth's desire for change would be accomplished, and the population of the earth would perish.
He shoved those thoughts away, and Keiichi's smiling face was replaced by the darkness behind his eyelids, and he relented to sleep. For once, no shadows flittered at the edge of his dreams.
It was Keiichi, of course, who woke him up once the bell rang, though the chatter of students filing in had begun to rouse him anyway. Kamui raised pale arms, still bandaged to hide the scars that had been left imprinted, feeling the numbness being replaced with chilling cold as blood rushed back into their veins.
"Had a good nap?"
Kamui rubbed his eyes and yawned largely before nodding sleepily, "Mm-hmm," he said, turning his head the other way to stare out the window, watching the breeze playing with the tree branches, and the multitude of students heading back into class. Off in the distance, there was Tokyo, but as far as the eye could see from this second story classroom, it was all CLAMP campus, contained within the pentagram. Buildings that would have been visible all throughout Tokyo now lay in shambles, the picturesque silhouette of their city that had been imprinted in the people's minds since young now lacked proper shape. It was like seeing a hand without a finger, the Notre Dame without a tower, a movie without the protagonist's sidekick.
He didn't regret his choice. Not that he could afford to, but it was moments like these, watching his classmates laughing and talking as they walked in, seeing the translucent reflection of Keiichi's concerned face on the window glass, and the city that lay majestically spread before him, making him feel small and awed, like an ant watching a great world unfold, that he was sure that he wanted to keep the present alive, even if the cost was the earth's eventual death. All he do could was have faith that humanity would realize their mistakes and try to correct them. But he would never… regret saving them.
OoOoO
The air seemed weightless, and white smoke drifted to the fancy of the wind, dissipating more and more with each gust. Subaru mused that he was like that smoke. Each gust of life would shatter him irreparably, and eventually, there would be nothing left. He was at the mercy of life, quite simply. Yet, weren't they all? Yes… that was humanity, curling smoke left to be dissolved by life's challenges, until finally there was nothing left but what had originally been there—the air, the earth itself.
The Harbingers would win. Earth would get her change.
A sakura petal drifted by from the trees around him, and he snatched it from the air, opening his palm to look at it disconsolately before placing it on the bench and pressing his cigarette butt onto it. He knew it was only out a childish wish to rebel, but it still brought him satisfaction to watch the glowing ember eating away at the pink that had tainted his life, burning it, slowly, painfully…
Yes, he definitely had changed a lot from that naïve sixteen-year-old he'd once been. And he had no one to thank but the sakura. He lifted his eyes to the sky and breathed in the bitter smoke.
Some time passed, and he couldn't stand the bright sun and fresh air any longer—it was all too ironic and only made him feel antagonistic towards the world, as if damning it for seeming so careless and content and leaving him in the wretched hole that was his self-deprecating soul.
The dimness inside the house took a moment to become accustomed to, but Subaru stalked blindly inside, heading towards the kitchen. The coffee maker brewed noisily, and Subaru removed his hands from the glass container as the boiling water scalded his hands. He put out his cigarette, pushing the glowing side on the side of the sink and flicking the lifeless stump into the trash. He glanced at the clock and sighed to find that it was half past four. He glared sulkily at the tendrils of dark brown that dissolved into the water, berating himself. He'd planned on escorting Kamui back from school, it being his first day back and all, but he'd apparently underestimated the time he'd been outside. How careless of him… and there was no use in going out now, since they should be getting home about now…
The Sumeragi sighed and finally poured himself a cup of coffee, drinking it straight and without the slightest hint of a grimace at the bitter taste. Seishirou drank his coffee straight, and if he did, then damn it, Subaru could too. He didn't care that the thought was only self-destructing, since just as his tongue has lost all sense of feeling, so had his soul, in parallel, become numb to the bitterness. No… maybe numb was not the right word. It had become so immersed in it that it no longer was able to distinguish it from whatever warped emotions were still flitting inside him.
An emerald eye glanced at the clock, unable to admit that it was impatient for Kamui to come and offer distraction to his thoughts.
OoOoO
Golden eyes caught sight of the figure leaning indifferently against the doorway, bathed in shadows, and the break in eye contact signaled an end to Kanoe's usefulness. The lean arms around her were abruptly removed, and she hastily buttoned her shirt and gathered her long hair into something resembling that of a proper secretary's, silently cursing the new arrival that had so untimely interrupted her time with Kamui. She was swift in leaving, as everyone knew that what was of no interest to the Harbinger existed at the peril of its extinction.
"This is a surprise. I wasn't expecting you to visit me," Fuuma smiled in that deceptively placating way, while running hungry eyes over the Sakurazukamori. Seishirou pointedly ignored the look, though he knew this was were the visit would ultimately end up anyway, just as it did whenever the visit was vice-versa. But he was unwilling to admit he was bored, and did not care to stalk his Subaru while the Original Twin was anywhere around.
"I thought you might be bored, since there won't be any havoc to wreak anytime soon, until your little reunion is past—" he also would not admit that this reunion had any effect on him, nor that he gave it the least of concerns, as a proper Sakurazukamori, "So I thought we could go to that little crèpe boutique we talked about the other day," he smirked, "I figure you have time, now that I've interrupted your private rendezvous with that woman."
Fuuma grinned as Seishirou continued to pretend he was doing him a favor, when he very well knew that the Sakurazukamori had simply been bored and restless. And of course, it amused him the way Seishirou talked—he had certainly been raised in a high-society family, even if their business was less than socially-appreciated. Private rendezvous… please, he might as well have just out right stated he was going to shag the woman.
"She's of no importance to me," the younger man said dismissively, "You, on the other hand…" he left it at that and smiled again, in that way that Seishirou found unnerving and predatory. He supposed the smile was very similar to his own—in fact, with each moment they spent together, Seishirou found some of his mannerisms mimicked by this younger Harbinger, yet with that mysterious flair that was so Kamui's, and somehow did not resemble the half-blind man's at all. Nor anyone's, for that matter, and yet they seemed to contain inflections that flashed by others' minds as familiar and remindful of a cherished one's.
"Oh, older women don't interest you?" Seishirou feigned surprise, but ever since that revealing encounter those many days ago, many pieces had fallen into place for the assassin. Yes, it was quite interesting to see that what everyone had thought to be a pretentious interest in the first Kamui had in truth been a well-played vérité. Their young leader had eyes for no one other than humanity's savior. Fuuma had no true interest in Seishirou. He figured it was only fair, since Seishirou himself was only concerned with relieving boredom when he sought out his comrade. And even if that were not true, who his toys were interested in had never been, and never would be, of his interest.
Unless they were his Subaru's, and he quickly suppressed a surge of annoyance, wondering why it had even surfaced in the first place. How uncharacteristic. He flicked it off as unimportant, truly had no other choice but to, and turned his eyes back to the other man.
"Not anywhere near what your pentagram-marked toy interests you," Fuuma returned smoothly, letting his hand trail along the older man's arm as he breezed by, and though his innocent smile was anything but, it somehow shockingly resembled Subaru's, sans honesty. Was it the angle, the tilt of the eyes, the youth of the face…?
The smile quickly morphed into a smirk at Seishirou's momentary flash of surprise, "Did I say something wrong?"
Seishirou damned that knowing smirk. It was thoroughly unnerving to have someone eighteen years his junior somehow managing to be even more enigmatic than he was and catch Seishirou off guard. It was impossible, unthinkable. He would have to do something about this.
"You would know best," he answered simply with a careful exhaling of smoke into the younger Harbinger's direction. If there was one thing he had found out about him, was that though he occasionally partook in them, the Twin Star detested cigarettes. He wondered if it was because they were harmful to the Earth, or if because the enemy's Kamui disliked them, for this Kamui had no likes or dislikes that were his own. Everything about him was fabricated, and if he was to fabricate personality traits, why make himself vulnerable? No, this dislike had to stem from an external reason. And hence, Seishirou took a particular delight in smoking anytime he was around his leader, "Now, shall we go?"
"Of course, after you."
It happened again. Were Seishirou not so in control of his emotions he would have stopped in shock. Something in the way Fuuma stood submissively waiting for Seishirou to walk ahead was disturbingly similar to that of an onmyouji he knew…
He could not wrap his mind around it… his Subaru-kun and the Twin Kamui were polar opposites, one as sly as the other was shy. Cunning as opposed to coy. So how was it that Fuuma was able to send flashes of remembrance through Seishirou's mind? How was it that actions that in no way looked alike, for it was undeniable that in looks they had nothing in common either, were so strikingly similar?
It was a trick of the Kamui's. That was the only reasonable explanation, and it somehow appeased the strange unease that had risen in his stomach at the feeling that he was being played like a five-stringed koto. It was simply an ability bestowed upon this Kamui, that of resemblance. Seishirou had noticed since his first meeting, how this charade-player seemed to possess emotions as one possesses clothing—easily taken on and off. To him, emotions were something he pretended to have, while underneath was the clear understanding that his emotions were like the imprint left on his brain of what it was like to have them—he logically understood them, without the hindrance of a heart to complicate them, and could thus reproduce them to his fancy and desire.
He would make the perfect Sakurazukamori, the assassin mused. Unlike his Subaru-kun…
OoO
"Here's our house," Yuzuriha motioned towards the large house the five seals had been sharing. Keiichi blinked up at it in awe, shifting Kamui's form on his back to a more comfortable position.
"Is he still asleep?" he asked, craning his head to look at the smaller boy slumped over his back. Yuzuriha giggled, reaching out to stroke the Seal's hair affectionately.
"Like a baby," she opened the door, ushering the blonde and his burden in, "This way."
She had planned for Kamui's classmate to drop him in bed, seeing as how Sorata and Arashi had gone to visit Hinoto, and Subaru wasn't often around if Kamui wasn't.
"Kamui!" the two students jumped as they walked past the kitchen, turning to see said Sumeragi's alarmed face, already up and making his way towards them anxiously on the pretense that his Kamui was hurt. The young girl loved seeing flickers of emotion in that one lonely green eye, and even if it was worry, she'd always thought that was one of the most beautiful human emotions, and it helped allay her fears that someday, Subaru would lose himself in the nothingness of emptiness. It was Kamui that had expressed that fear to her, and she silently wished for both of their sakes that it wouldn't happen, and that that worry would always be there to be displayed for Kamui, if no one else.
"He's alright," Yuzuriha put in quickly, patting Kamui's head, who made a childish blubbering noise in return. She and Keiichi laughed, and Subaru relaxed, his steps slowing as he approached them nonethless, as if needing concrete proof that Kamui was indeed alright.
"We were walking home from school," the female Seal explained, "But Kamui got tired and asked if he could rest a bit, but when he did, he fell asleep."
"I walked by and offered to carry him home," the other piped up, blushing as he stood awkwardly in the middle of the front hall with Kamui's body wrapped around his back and his breath tickling his ear. And in front of his friends, no less.
Subaru nodded gratefully to the younger boy, holding his hands out and motioning for the blond to pass him the sleeping boy. Carefully, Kamui was transferred into Subaru's cradling arms, and the half-blinded man simply stood there for a moment, looking softly into Kamui's pale face, completely oblivious to the happening outside of his dreams. Keiichi fidgeted with his hands, his eyes never leaving his dreaming classmate's.
"…Um, is Kamui… is he really alright?" there was such sincere concern in that voice, that the two Seals realized they couldn't lie to someone who so honestly cared about Kamui.
"Well… he had some broken ribs… but he's a lot better now," Yuzuriha offered, and Subaru motioned towards his chest, where the barest hints of bandages could be seen underneath the collar, "It's why we've missed so much school."
The blond boy said nothing, only watching his friend's face sadly. Subaru cleared his throat after a moment, and spoke up almost hesitantly.
"Thank you… for bringing him."
Keiichi muttered something about it being no problem at hall, the tip of his ears going red, and his hand rubbing his head sheepishly. Yuzuriha sneaked a covert glance at Subaru, hiding her smile behind her hand. They'd always known Subaru was a very polite, considerate person, but it was in an aloof, almost indifferent way, and they supposed it was simply because old habits were hard to break, and being raised in such a prestigious family, he didn't really know how to act otherwise, whether he wanted to or not. It was nice to hear such a sincere thanks out of him though, and it was even nicer to know that it was because he appreciated Kamui's wellbeing that he was being sincere. Just like Sorata had said, they really were good for each other. It made her hopeful for the future— Maybe they could truly be happy, and that thought, in turn, made her happy.
As did when Kamui suddenly nuzzled Subaru's chest, muttering his name sleepily, and Subaru turned a spectacular shade of red and quickly excused himself from the two teenagers, one who blinked in surprise while the other fought hard to hold back her laughter until Subaru finally disappeared into Kamui's bedroom.
OoOoO
It was warm, and the gooey sensation slid down his throat sickeningly. He was the one who'd suggested the crèpes in the first place, but now the texture in his mouth was disgusting, and he found himself placing them on the table, opting to watch the passersby of the crowded Tokyo street. Quiet and peace had not been what the two Harbingers were looking for, so they hadn't bothered requesting a table inside the café. Here, cars honked, and angry drivers spat out names to each other. Children cried and begged obnoxiously for a new toy, and spouses looked at other men and women with appreciative eyes before turning back to their own with a nod and smile. A seemingly innocent man walked behind Seishirou, but before he had a chance to reach out and slip a hand inconspicuously into the jacket pocket, the assassin turned his head, boring his single golden eye and that lifeless blind one with chilling ice into the pair insignificant black eyes, and the man backed up, nearly stumbling over another table in his fright. Fuuma smiled, and Seishirou took a sip of his coffee as if nothing had happened.
"This," Fuuma motioned towards the people milling about them, an ocean of ants with two wasps sitting in their midst, waiting to pounce, "Is the humanity that our dearest Seals are trying to save."
Seishirou could be patient. He'd play along with whatever Fuuma had planned, he didn't want to seem too obvious, after all, but it seemed that younger man was steering the conversation towards that direction for him anyway.
"Yes, seems rather foolish, doesn't it? They have no idea what it is that they're truly preserving—greed, hate, lust—the seven sins and everything else that has tainted the people I've killed."
"Your Sakura is well fed, I hope?" Fuuma asked with mild interest, whether fake or real because the Sakurazukamori's relationship with the Sakura tree truly interested him, Seishirou would not know. It threw him off momentarily at the change in conversation—he thought it'd be heading towards the Seals.
"Even the carnage that is now indirectly placed on its roots eventually seeps in. By the end of the world, that tree will be almost blood red."
"That tree blooms year-long, doesn't it?"
Seishirou grinned darkly, because no one else had noticed that—very few people had enough power to. Subaru would have, he was sure, but he had never gone near that tree after that encounter eighteen years ago, when he marked what he had then assumed would only remain a toy. That Bet had never been truly serious, only an amusing past-time, a curiosity. He'd wondered if he could develop feelings if he pretended to have them, and he still adamantly professed he'd not found any that year the Bet had been played out.
That may very well have been true, but only he and Subaru still believed that he had not developed shadowed emotions after the incident. To Fuuma, it was almost comically obvious the deeper drive that pulled the cold-blooded murderer to his naïve counterpart. Oh well, as long as it kept that onmyouji away from his counterpart. It was rather annoying to have Kamui's attention drawn from him by a simple, uninteresting, one-eyed exorcist.
The half-blind man studied Kamui closely, noting with satisfaction the increasingly frustrated edge to the younger boy's finger-drumming, even if his face remained impassively staring out at the street.
"Something on your mind?" he asked with fake concern.
Fuuma cast him a sideway glance, and his smile was like smoke, drifting and clearly translucent. What lay behind it was the hard part to figure out.
"Yes, I was wondering the purpose of this excursion," came the easy lie, and Seishirou bristled underneath at the practiced ease with which Fuuma was able to lead the conversation to expose Seishirou at each moment. Well, regardless...
"Well, if you're that curious, I suppose I wanted to know what you were planning for this reunion you called Subaru-kun and the Original Kamui to. I don't see why I have to be a part of it."
Fumma took a bite of his crèpe, and the chocolate oozed out a dribbled down his chin before a suggestive tongue peeked out to clean it. Seishirou politely kept his gaze from staring, simply because they were in public, and he knew the teenager was only trying to disorient him by tantalizing him. He was only wasting his time, because while Fuuma's sensuality was like dark, slick velvet, it lacked the innocence and self-consciousness that made his Subaru-kun's actions that much more entrancing and fascinating to watch. Even if it was a change of pace.
"I thought it was a fair exchange. You get a chance to keep your toy from mine, and vice-versa, for keeps. Don't tell me it pleases you to see your prey with someone else?" the way he said it suggested he knew it was exactly the opposite, and was clearly teasing the older man about it. Two could play that game.
"Well, it apparently displeases you more, if you went to these lengths to separate them," Seishirou took out a cigarette, lighting it nonchalantly. From the corner of his eye, he could see the slight pursing of Fuuma's lip, and he continued mercilessly, "I can see why the First Kamui would choose Subaru-kun over you, you're quite the jealous lover."
Fuuma's cool response was betrayed by the short snarl that flicked the end, "I suppose it's another reason that keeps you stalking the Sumeragi constantly, then?"
"One always keeps their eyes on their prey," came the slightly uneasy answer, but the older man was confident of having the upper-hand for once.
"Even if you only have one to speak of," Fuuma bit back, but it was probably as childish a comment as he could make at this point, since it wasn't like the assassin cared in the least. Seishirou reveled in the pleasure of needling the great Harbinger Kamui, exhaling smoke leisurely in his direction to cover the smirk on his face.
"If you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with a soon to be missing politician," Seishirou granted him a pleasant smile, which was met by a smoldering glare, "But I think I will go along with your plan; as you said, it is a fair exchange."
Fuuma watched the older man leave their money on the table, and in a flash, was no longer there, swallowed by the Tokyo crowd. He sneered at nothing in particular, half out of irritation, half from superiority. The Sakurazukamori may have thought he'd left with the upper hand, but he had just agreed to Fuuma's plan, had he not?
Interestingly, I really liked writing Seishirou and Fuuma's interaction, they're really bizarre. But, uh... I know there wasn't much fluff in here, nor as angsty as usual, but ... well, you know, it's soo hard to get back into the rhythm of a fic you haven't worked on in forever. But I'll definitely do better with the next chapter, now that I've kinda gotten back into the groove. Review!
