Saying The 4 Letter Word?
(Steve POV)
After Steve left Iris he went straight to the compound, he walked into the dressing room with a smile to change into his suit, Sam was just finishing up. "Hey Cap."
"Hey." He repeated with that smile never leaving.
"I see you've been with Iris." He quickly noted.
"How did you guess that?" Steve asked.
"You always have that smile on your face when you leave her." He clarified, Steve just continued to happily smile, "So you let her know about today?"
"Yeah and I feel like a jackass, I totally forgot to tell her last night but like always she was okay with it." Steve sighed with an eye roll. He was fully intending on letting her know before they went to bed but he forgot but Iris had that ability to do that to him.
"God, you are lucky she's so understanding." Sam inhaled as Steve gave a little grin.
"Trust me, I know."
"And I guess that also answers that things are going really good with you guys." He observed with his arms folded.
"...Yeah...really good...Sam, I've never felt this way before...even with Peggy." He confidently told him.
"Good...I'm happy for." Sam sweetly answered. "Come on, let's go see what Tony's going to want us to do."
They went into the conference room where Tony debriefed Steve, Natasha, Wanda, Sam and Rhodey about where his weapons were. "I did find some more weapons in some different areas so it's going to take longer then I thought but it should be easy. The fact I was able to detect them so fast means these guys are idiots but just in case we should have more back up and not take any chances. So, lets head out." Tony explained.
Usually Steve was in charge of debriefing the missions but because these weapons were Tony's he let him take the lead on this one, he knew how protective Tony was about finding them and stopping from anyone using them. They got to the quinjet and took off, from how fast the quinjet was they were able to get to an area a lot sooner and Tony was right, it was easy, they were done with that location within the hour. While going to the next location Steve realized that he needed to let Iris know he wouldn't be coming home tonight. He felt awful, he already told her he would be back tonight and he hated changing things on her at the last minute, she never gave him any shit over it but it still bothered him to do that to her.
After he hung up with her he knew right away something was wrong. She was talking very fast, her voice was cracking a little bit, she didn't ask him once if everything went well which she always did and she didn't ask him why he was going to be gone longer then expected, he knew something was seriously wrong when after she said she had a bad day she didn't talk about it. She usually always talks about her bad days and loves to vent to him but she didn't say anything and the icing on the cake was she ended the call so quickly and didn't give him a chance to say goodbye back. He knew he had to see her, I mean he knew she wasn't in danger or anything but something was just telling him that she really needed him.
"Hey Tony, I'm sorry but I need you to take me back to New York." He suddenly informed him without really a second thought.
"Why? We still have 4 other locations to get to." Tony annoyingly asked.
"I know but I need to go...someone needs me. If all the locations are anything like this one you guys will be fine without me."
"Is this about..." Sam started to ask quietly, Steve just nodded his head and Sam immediately understood. "Okay." Tony replied after a few minutes being a little annoyed but also confused, Steve never just leaves in the middle of a mission...it has to be because of a woman...that's why he would.
"Thanks Tony." Steve softly said as he patted his shoulder.
He went right to her apartment, didn't even both changing out of his suit and when he got there he saw she was already at work. If she said she had a bad day he was going to change that completely. He didn't know what was wrong but he knew or at least hoped that candlelight dinner, rose petals etc would make up for any problem. He knew not to ask questions and let her tell him on her own time, he's already made that mistake. He was going to do everything he could do make this a special night for her!
(Iris POV)
Steve and I are laying in bed, I am on my stomach using Steve's arm as a pillow, he's laying on his side facing me, my hair is over my shoulder, my neck and back is completely exposed. I feel Steve tracing designs on it gently with his fingertips and with my eyes closed I smile, I can't tell what the shapes are but it feels good. I snuggle on his arm even more, he gives my back several sweet kisses.
"Steve?" I hummed.
"Yeah?" He softly answers continuing to trace my back.
"Do you...do you regret crashing that plane? I mean I know you don't regret saving peoples lives but...if you knew what was going to happen, would you still have done it?"
"Yes." He responded very quickly.
"Why? You lost so much." I asked as I was now tracing his forearm.
"Because if I hadn't crashed that plane and froze I never would have met my Avengers friends, find out that Bucky was alive and last...(he gently makes me roll over to face) I would have never met you." He finishes forcing me to look at him in the eyes.
"Really?" I ask softly but also showed doubt.
"Yeah, Iris when are you going to realize how crazy I am about you?" He asked me gently running the back of his knuckles on my jawline.
"I...why me?...You can have any woman you want and you choose the person that was a bitch to you when you saved her, kicked you out and hurt your feelings. I...I don't deserve you." I start to get a little teary and look down to avoid his gaze.
He puts both his hands on my face forcing me to look at him again, "because you are beautiful, sexy, smart, caring, passionate, incredibly stubborn but mostly you make me laugh, I feel...I feel like I can be Steve again...I felt so alone and thought I would never find someone so I decided to devote my life to being Captain America because I thought if I couldn't be happy I could at least save lives...and you make me happier then I have ever been...Iris...I love you." He softly confessed, "I...I love you too Steve." I reply, he looks at me in shock.
I don't think he was expecting me to say it and to be honest I'm surprised I said it too with such ease, I thought it would be a lot harder to say out loud, but it wasn't. It actually was the easiest thing I've ever done, now I know in a second I'm going to tell him something that will be the hardest and I hoped to God he didn't change his mind after I told him. I take a deep breath, "Steve...I need to tell you something...something I have been keeping from you." I told him as I sit up and cover myself with the sheet.
"Okay, what is it?" He sits up with me.
"Well...you know how hard it was for me to trust men because of all my past relationships?" I start, he just nods and lets me continue. "Well, they weren't the only reason for that...I mean they increased it but it didn't start with them."
"What do you mean?" He asked a little confused.
"...It started...it started with my father...as long as I can remember he drank and was a very...angry man. He abused my mom and I on a daily basis, most of the time I didn't even know what I did wrong because while he was using his belt on me he would just ramble and I couldn't hear from my own screams...At nights he would come to my room and uh (I'm getting emotional, he nods his head letting me know he understood) you know, he would stay all night."
"Iris...I'm so sorry you went through that...God now everything make sense." He rubs my shoulder very gently. "Yeah..." I can only say back, I actually flinch from his touch...just remembering my dad's. He backed his hand away and gave me a little space, it was quiet for a few minutes. "What happened to your dad?" He asks with a bit of anger in his eyes, angry at my father.
I hesitate for a second, "...He killed himself...after he killed my mom." I answer with more tears. "Mom and I were going to finally get away and she told me we wouldn't look back and ride off into the sunset but he...he must have caught her packing and..." I can't finish my sentence. I notice he wants to touch me but stops himself because of me flinching before so I slide over to him and tenderly wrap his arms around me and he holds me softly, cradling the back of my head with one hand and soothing my back with the other, "this doesn't change anything? Do you think...I'm damaged goods or something?" I ask in his shoulder worried to hear his response.
"Damaged goods? Iris, you are not damaged goods." He replied forcing me to look at me, almost like he was mad at me for thinking that. "I'm not going anywhere, you are stuck with me and I am going to continue to make sure that you know that."
I softly grin, "I've only told this to one person...my first boyfriend Greg...he made me believe I could trust him...I was wrong..." I slowly reveal. "Why haven't you told me I could believe and trust you? I mean, you've told me you want me to trust people and that you were going to prove me wrong but I've heard the exact same speech from every single one of them but not from you." I asked, I really wanted to know, he never gave that same speech and I was surprised he never didn't.
"Because, I am not them. I am not those assholes that never deserved you. I never say it because...well instead of saying it I am actually going to do it and show you I mean it by my actions...like this..." He explains as he kisses me very sweetly as he caresses my cheek with the back of his knuckles.
"God, I really don't deserve you" I mumble under my breath.
"Yes you do." He whispers as he presses his forehead to mine, "so he's really the only one you've told?" He asks me, I nod my head. "Not even the girls?"
"No...after him I told myself to never trust anyone with that part of my past again." I explain, he looks at me for a few seconds, "you should know...I didn't tell him everything though...I was too ashamed...I just told him about him abusing my mom and me and killing her and himself...that's it...but you...you know everything."
"Thank you for trusting me...I think that made me fall in love with you more." He smiles as I give him one right back. He lays us back down and spoons me as he holds me so close and so intimate, I hold onto his arm for dear life when we fell back to sleep.
They said I love you and she told him about her father! Did you expect her to say it so soon? I wanted it to be a surprise even for her and not postpone it for too long and drag it out.
