A/N - This chapter follows one of my absolute favorite SVU episodes, and best EO 1.0 centric episodes. "Burned". A little twist this time since things have gotten more intense for them. About to see the fall out. But just remember I always bring it back to happy EO in the end. Trust the process!

Please don't forget to drop a review! Truly appreciate it when you do!


Two weeks. It had been two weeks since they'd gone up State. Two weeks since he'd touched her, kissed her. Two weeks since she'd looked at him in more than a way that a partner should look at their partner. She was avoiding him, making sure that they didn't have any chance of being alone together. He wasn't surprised but it didn't mean it didn't hurt. They were currently working on a case that was troubling him. An estranged couple Miles and Valerie Sennet. She claimed he'd broken into her house and raped him because she was angry. But something about her story didn't quite add up to him and he didn't know why.

He was standing in line at the coffee shop trying to think through the evidence they had, make sense of it. But his mind kept wandering to Olivia. She seemed to be siding with Valerie on this one. They'd disagreed on cases before, but now with the precarious nature of their relationship, it felt like they were rocketing towards dangerous territory. He was so lost in thought, he didn't notice the woman watching him from the end of the counter. Walking up to the barista, Elliot put his order in and at the last second put in an order in for Olivia. After paying, he walked to the end of the counter and waited for his drinks.

"Well hello Detective Stabler." A familiar voice said, he knew he'd heard it before he just didn't know where.

Turning, he saw a petite blonde woman, her hair was curled just so around her shoulders, she had a kind, beautiful face but way too much makeup in his opinion. How did he know her? "Uh…hi."

The woman stepped towards him and placed her hand on the counter, inching towards his, "Kacie Lambert…I work down in the Housing Bureau. A few floors down from you." Elliot still stared at her, "I helped you out on that case with the Wilson family? The one with the ten kids…"

"Oh. Right." He pointed at her, "Yes. thank you for that by the way. Those kids are doing much better now."

Kacie sighed and leaned against the counter behind her, "Happy to be of service. Just doing my job…"

"Coffees for Stabler." The barista called out, "Would you like a tray?"

Elliot turned, "Oh. That would be great. Thank you."

Kacie looked down at the tray as it was being handed to him, "Hot date today?"

Elliot cleared his throat, "Meeting my partner before we go talk to a victim."

"Oh." She said with a nod, eyeing him carefully, "I heard Benson was back…you two working together again?"

Elliot slipped his phone and his wallet in his bag and took the tray, "We are."

She took another step towards him, "I also heard…you're officially divorced. That true too?"

He saw her eyes dart down to his bare ring finger, "Yes. That's also true."

Lifting her hand, she slipped something into his pocket, "Well…in that case. Why don't you call me sometime?" Elliot went to open his mouth and she shook her head, "See you around Detective."

As she walked away, all he could think was that sure she was pretty enough. He was sure she was nice. But…she wasn't Olivia. And he didn't want this. This awkward dating. The uncomfortable feeling of being hit on and trying to politely say no. God he hated this. With a heavy sigh, he held onto the tray tighter and walked towards the door.

He saw Olivia walking towards him, her phone pressed to her ear, a cup already in her hand and his heart sank, "Hey."

She sighed and dropped her phone, "Cap said we need to reinterview Tessa."

Elliot frowned, "Haven't we tortured the poor girl enough?"

"Guess not." She said looking down at the tray, "Who's that for?"

Elliot looked down at the second cup, "Well I got a coffee for you too but…"

She frowned softly, "Oh. Thanks. But um…I'm trying to lay off the coffee." He looked curiously at the cup, "Tea…"

Elliot narrowed his eyes at her, "Tea?"

She shrugged and whispered, "Picked it up in Oregon and I like it. You've seen me drink it before."

Elliot nodded, "Just didn't know it was a habit…"

She pointed towards the sedan, the very one they'd taken upstate but neither of them were going to mention that, "We should go…Tessa is waiting."

"Yeah." He whispered, the tray lowering slightly, "Tessa's waiting…"


A few hours later, the tension was growing between them and they could both feel it. He was on Miles's side and Olivia believed in Valerie.

"Why would she lie about being raped?" Olivia yelled, "It doesn't make any sense!"

"She's angry." Elliot growled, as the rest of their team watched them, "She wants to get back at her ex husband no matter the cost."

"That's a pretty far reach." Olivia spat back at him, "How could someone stoop that low just because they were mad?"

"You wouldn't understand. I'm the longest relationship you've ever had with a man. You don't know how far you'll go when you're mad. When you're hurt. You have no idea how bad things can get when a couple goes sour." Elliot yelled back at her.

"Real rich coming from a newly divorced man with a history of violent behavior." She spat back at him.

"That's enough." Cragen yelled at both of them, "Both of you need to cool off." Olivia went to respond but he put his hand up, "Go for a walk. Take a nap in the damn cribs. I don't care what you do." Elliot and Olivia glared at each other, "But whatever you do, make sure you do it separately. And that's an order."

Olivia grabbed her coat and walked towards the elevator. Elliot cursed under his breath and turned to walk towards the cribs. Casey turned to Cragen, "I thought you told me they were working things out…"

Cragen sighed and ran a tired hand over his face, "I don't know what the hell is going on anymore but those two are going to drive me to drink one of these days…"

As he walked away Casey sighed thinking she knew exactly what was going on.


Halfway down the sidewalk, Olivia's phone rang and a number she rarely saw popped up on her screen. Kathy Stabler. The last person she wanted to talk to today. She thought she should let it go to voicemail, but something told her that she'd just call back again. Standing at the corner of the street, she held the phone to her ear, "H-hi Kathy." She listened for a moment and then sighed, "Yeah…sure I'll meet you there. I'll be there in about ten minutes. No problem."

And then she hung up wondering if Elliot had told his ex-wife about their little arraignment…


Fifteen minutes later, Olivia stood by the pond waiting for Kathy. The very woman she'd envied for years. The woman that in her eyes, had it all. A husband who loved her, four beautiful children, a career of her own. All the things Olivia had wanted. But mostly, she had Elliot. All those nights when he'd left Olivia after a long day, it was Kathy's bed who he'd crawled into. It was Kathy who had comforted him. No matter what he said about their life, about their relationship, she still had a piece of him that Olivia would never and could never have.

Her heart was pounding in her chest as she waited, wondering what the hell she was going to say. Turning slowly, she saw Kathy walking towards her and she held her breath, "Hi Olivia."

"Hi Kathy." She pointed towards the bench in the corner, "Do you want to sit?"

"Actually…let's walk." Kathy whispered, "This shouldn't take…long. At least I don't think."

Olivia cleared her throat and took a step towards her as they began to walk through the park, "So…how are you Kathy? Everything okay? The kids? Are they-"

"They're fine." Kathy said quickly, "Everyone is okay. They're doing great."

Olivia looked to the left and saw a couple pushing a stroller, a little baby perched in the seat laughing at the ducks and her heart ached, "Good. I'm glad. They're great kids…" Kathy was quiet beside her and she had a feeling she was going to have to be the one to move this conversation along, "So…if this isn't about the kids…then this has to be about Elliot?"

Kathy glanced over and shrugged, "He's what we have in common isn't he?"

Olivia stopped for a moment at the edge of the pond and turned towards her, "You two are divorced. Why do you care?" And then a sickening thought occurred to her, what if they weren't actually divorced after all? What if Elliot had lied to her about that, "I mean…you are divorced. Right?"

Kathy walked up beside her and looked out at the water, "Yes. Very much so." She heard Olivai let out a shaky breath and then she turned towards her, "Doesn't mean I don't still care…"

Olivia chewed on her bottom lip, shoved her hands in her jacket and asked, "If you still care…then why did you-"

"I'll always care. He's the Father of my children. We went through a lot together. We weren't perfect but we had a life together and for that I'll always care." She shrugged, "Which is why I'm here. Because I'm worried about him."

"Elliot's a big boy Kathy, he can take care of himself." She whispered.

"Do you think this is easy for me to talk to you about this?" Kathy asked, "Do you have any idea how much I used to worry that he preferred spending time with you than with me and the kids?"

"Come on now, that is not true. You know it's not. Elliot wanted to be with you, with the kids. But the job-"

"The job." Kathy said with a nod, "Yes. I know. I know how grueling the job is. I know he did it to protect us."

Turning towards her, Olivia wanted her to understand, "You have to know that every victim he saw…it was you and the kids. Elliot talked about you all the time…all the time Kathy. He-"

"I know he loved me." Kathy whispered softly, smiling sadly, "But, it wasn't enough. And that's okay. I've made peace with that. For both of us and the kids. The truth is…you know things about him that I will never understand. You've shared things with him that I never could."

Olivia looked down nervously, "Kathy…what is it that you want from me?"

"Elliot was doing great…he seemed really happy the last few months. Since you've been back actually." Kahty pointed out quickly, "He's been so attentive with the kids. We've been getting along better. But now…the last two weeks or so he seems stressed. Sad. Withdrawn. He tries to hold it together for the kids and he does…but even they can see a sadness in him."

Two weeks. Two weeks since the last time they'd touched, kissed. Two weeks since they'd spent anytime outside of work together. Since they'd had some unspoken understanding that whatever it was they had started, was over. Swallowing hard, she looked up at his ex-wife and wondered if she could tell that they'd slept together. Was it written all over her face? "Kathy…"

"I guess I was just wondering if you knew anything. Or if there was a particularly bad case. Or something that happened…" Kathy whispered, "I just want to make sure he's alright. For him…and for the kids sake. They need their Father…the best version of him."

Guilt pulled at her heart and Olivia frowned, "Those kids are his life Kathy. He'd do anything for them. Anything."

"I know that." She said with a nod, "I may have been hard on him in the past…about not spending enough time with them. But I was just angry and hurt and I let my anger speak for me. I know he'd do anything for them."

Olivia let her words sink in, she'd been hurt. Angry. So she lashed out on Elliot. The very thing that Elliot was accusing Valerie of doing now. Just at a different scale…her mind was reeling as she listened to her. "You're his partner Olivia. You give him stability. And he can't move on until he feels like he's on solid ground. I just feel like…he needs you. I feel like you're the only one that can get through to him. To get him to talk. It has to be you…"

Lifting her head, she whispered, "Kathy…I'm not sure-"

"I'm seeing someone. And I'm happy. Really happy. And I want that for him…but I'm afraid that something is holding him back." She whispered. "Can…can you please just talk to him? Check in? See what's wrong? He'll talk to you Olivia…I know he will. He trusts you. He respects you. He cares about you more than you realize. It would mean more coming from you. He'll just be defensive if I ask."

Olivia swallowed the lump in her throat and whispered, "Why are you so convinced something is wrong?"

Kathy shrugged, "I've known him for a long time. I know when he's struggling. He may not have been able to confide in me the way he can with you…but I know the signs. He's all smiles for the kids, bending over backwards to make them happy. But when no one is looking, he's tense, and he looks like his mind is a million miles away. I haven't seen him this sad…maybe ever."

Olivia held her breath, "Works been…tough."

Kathy nodded slowly, "Anything else?" Olivia just stared at her, "What do you know about the stunner? The one who filled in for you while you were gone?"

Olivia's heart dropped to her stomach, "Dani Beck?"

Kathy nodded, "Yeah. What happened to her?"

Olivia kicked at the ground, "She transferred back to her old unit…"

Kathy frowned, "Why'd she leave?"

Remembering what it looked like to see him beside Dani made her heart ache. She'd never even told him she'd seen them. But she had. And truth be told, she never expected to walk back into SVU again until a few days later when Cragen called and told her that Dani had left and the spot was open again. She never thought to ask why, maybe subconsciously she didn't want to know, but now it made her wonder, "Honestly…I have no idea."

"Hm…" Kathy whispered, "Well…I always wondered if the two of them…" She sighed and stepped back, 'Then again, I always assumed you two were sleeping together too while we were married."

Olivia looked up at her quickly, "Kathy, nothing ever happened between us. Elliot is my partner. And even if I did…" Her cheeks flushed and her voice dropped, "Even if I did care…or if he did…we never would have done that. I respected your marriage. I respect you. I always will."

Kathy smiled, "I know. You're a good person Olivia...better than you'll ever give yourself credit for. Elliot knows it too." Olivia just stared at her, "Please…just talk to him Olivia. Please?"

Olivia nodded slowly, unable to say no, "Sure. Yes…of course."

Kathy sighed, relieved and whispered, "I need to go pick up the twins. But…thank you for meeting with me. I appreciate it." Olivia just stood there and then she turned to look at her, "I'm really glad you came back. I know Elliot is too…"

Olivia's heart was pounding in her chest as she watched her go. Just when she thought things couldn't get any more complicated…


An hour later, she walked back into the squad room and saw Elliot sitting at his desk. He was leaning back, the phone pressed to his ear but he wasn't talking. Taking a minute to look at him, she realized he did look tense. Very tense. Licking her lips, she walked slowly towards himi and sat down, he just stared at her. He still looked irritated from earlier and she didn't really blame him. They'd both been hurling insults at each other for days now, hitting lower and lower below the belt. She knew that when she was angry she hit and she hit hard. That's one thing they'd always been good at. They knew each other better than anyone and they knew exactly where to hit where it hurt.

"Hey…" She whispered reaching for a file.

Elliot frowned, tapping the phone against his temple, "Hey." He took another breath and said, "I'm on hold."

Her eyes darted down to her desk and she nodded before asking, "You find out anything surprising about our victim?"

Leaning forward slightly he said, "You know, I was surprised to find out about Valerie's boyfriend that she forgot to tell us about." Olivia froze and looked at him in shock, he looked down as he heard someone speaking to him, he felt Olivia watching him as he spoke, "Yes. Yeah, I'm looking for one of your employees. Uh, his first name is Phillip. I don't know his last name. But he's either a lawyer, paralegal, or an investigator on the Sennet divorce. Great. You got my number? I'll wait to hear your call."

Hanging up the phone, they both stared at each other unsure of what to say or do. So many emotions bubbling just above the surface. So much that needed to be said, but as usual, there was no time.

"Valerie Sennet was just attacked in the street." Cragen said, walking towards them.

"Where is she?" Olivia asked, turning to her boss quickly.

"The burn unit at Cornell." Cragen whispered, Olivia froze and he looked at her, "You two gonna be able to-"

"Yes." She answered quickly, "We're fine."

And then she was walking towards the elevator, Cragen turned to look at Elliot, "Is that true?"

Elliot stood up, reached for his leather coat and frowned, "Everything is fine Cap. We got this under control. We always do."

Only this time, he wasn't sure they did…


Walking out of the room, both of them were white as a ghost. They'd seen a lot, but that was something you couldn't quite forget. The smell alone would be burned in their brains forever. Olivia tossed her scrubs into the bin beside her and let out a shaky sigh, she looked like she was going to be sick.

"Olivia…" She put her hand up and he sighed, "She's…"

She shook her head again and her phone rang in her pocket, her hands shook as she reached for it, pressing it to her ear, "Hey John." Her face fell again and she sighed, "Well where is Tessa? No…isn't there something else we can do? She's already been through enough…" Licking her lips she whispered, "Fine. Fine…we'll be there. And no…she's not going to be okay John. Neither of them are going to be okay."

Elliot saw her slip the phone into her pocket and he frowned, "They found Miles?"

Olivia nodded, "He wants to meet with Tessa…so they're using it to get him. They want us down there. To make sure nothing happens to Tessa."

Elliot moved towards her, "Right now we need to focus on Tessa…to make sure she's safe."

"We're supposed to make sure all our victims are safe." She said quickly, pointing down the hall, "That includes Valerie."

His head dropped, "You're right. And when you said he was escalating…you were also right."

"Do you think that's what I want to hear right now?" She asked, tears burning in her eyes, "He set her on fire Elliot. Who could have anticipated that?"

"Maybe if I'd listened to you we could have prevented this." He whispered.

"How?" She asked, "How could we have prevented any of this Elliot? None of this makes any sense. I feel like I'm…"

Her hands were shaking harder and he stepped towards her, knowing that they weren't just talking about the case anymore, "Look, maybe you should go home. I'll go with you, tell Cragen we need a break. Maybe we need-"

"No." She said, turning from him, "Tessa needs us. And I'll be damned if I let her get hurt in all of this too. I couldn't protect Valerie and I can't ever protect my-"

Her words got caught in her throat, "Olivia…"

"We have to go." She grumbled, "Now. Just…we have to go."

She moved fast, faster than he'd anticipated and once again she was slipping through his fingers.


After their confrontation in the park, Olivia saw the sadness in Elliot as he dragged Tessa away. The sadness only a Father could understand or see. Walking around the sedan, she saw him leaning against the side of it watching as someone tried to console Tessa. She tugged on the safety vest, the velcro startling him, "Miles is being transferred…Casey said he won't be getting out anytime soon. No bail high enough for this…"

Elliot frowned, he should feel relieved but he felt more confused than ever, "Well at least he can't hurt anyone anymore. Not that it will help Valerie…"

"No…but maybe it will help Tessa." She whispered looking at him out of the corner of her eye, "She's young…she's got her whole life ahead of her."

Pushing himself off the car he frowned, "A whole life that won't involve either of her parents."

She frowned, "Elliot we don't know-"

"Even if she does survive…" Elliot whispered, "Which I find very doubtful…what kind of life will she live? How will she be able to be the parent that Tessa needs? That girl lost both of her parents today, Liv. No matter what way you look at it…she lost everything. Do you know what that's like?"

Looking down at her hands she nodded, "Yeah. I do."

He took a deep breath, his heart pounding in his chest, "Me too. And it…it sucks. And it's scary and it's…"

"Painful." She whispered, lifting her eyes to look at him, "I know." He opened his mouth to say something but she shook her head, "Casey said we should go tell Valerie…so at least she knows that Tessa is safe."

He frowned and spun the keys on his finger, "Fine."

And then they were gone once more, all the while those unspoken things, building and building between them. Ready to erupt at any moment.


Once again they stood in the small room, their scrubs hiding their work clothes. Both of them felt out of place as they walked in, Valerie was laid out on the table, her wounds looking even more gruesome than they remembered.

"Valerie is going to the tank for the first round of very painful debridement. If she lasts a few days and stabilizes, she'll have surgery, then a course of maggots, and more surgery to remove the dead tissue."

"How long's she gonna be here?" Elliot asked quickly.

"There's no way to predict. It's remarkable she's survived this long.

You don't expect her to live, do you?"

"No, she'll probably succumb to shock before she even gets to the OR."

Olivia rounded the table and bent down, Valerie looked at her, eyes glazed as if she wasn't even there, "Hey, Valerie, can you hear me?" She moaned, the agony evident, "Miles is in custody, and Tessa's with your mother in the waiting room.

"Good. Did you get him? Did you kill him?" She asked in a shaky voice.

Olivia looked up at Elliot and he spoke softly, sympathetically. His words giving her permission to lie, "She's out of it."

"The shower was his fault, but I showed him. I showed him." Valerie groaned.

Olivia took a deep breath, asking that question she desperately needed an answer too, "Valerie... did Miles rape you?"

Valerie swallowed, the movement alone clearly causing her an enormous amount of pain, "Yes."

"You two need to go." A Doctor said, "You don't want to be here for this…"

The sadness in her voice told them that neither did she. Elliot waited as Olivia stood up slowly, and together they walked towards the connecting door leading out to the hallway. They'd barely walked through the door when the screams started. Both of them jumped, pressing themselves into the walls opposite each other. Again, and again her agonized screams pierced through the space between them. The kind that would haunt them both well into the night and for days to come.

Elliot tossed his cap down into the bin beside him, his eyes slowly lifting to Olivia. But her eyes were closed and as Valerie screamed again, she grimaced, her fingers pressing into the wall behind her. She was breathing hard and worry pierced his heart as he walked towards her, "Liv…"

She shook her head, "I've gotta get out of here…"

She turned to walk away, tossing her own scrubs into the bin before she moved towards the elevator. He followed, unsure of what to say or do, or if there was anything that could be said to fix any of this. Not just their case. But this nightmare that seemed to be snowballing by the moment. He turned towards her, ready to say anything, his phone rang and he sighed.

She cleared her throat, "That's the kids ring…" She whispered.

"Yes. It is." He said slowly, his hand reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone, "It's Dickie…" She just nodded and he held the phone to his ear, "Hey bud…" He was sweating, and his fingers pressed into the back of his neck, "No…no it's alright. I'm just…leaving something at work. Of course. No problem at all. I'll come get you. Okay?"

He saw Olivia take another step away from him, and his heart ached. She was pulling farther and farther away from him by the second, "Dickie okay?" He asked as he lowered the phone.

Elliot nodded, "Yeah. His buddy was supposed to give him a ride home but he bailed. So he needs a ride…"

The doors opened slowly and she nodded, "I've got it from here. Go get Dickie. I'll fill Cragen in and do the paperwork."

His hand shot out to grab her arm, "Olivia…"

Her eyes fell to his hand on her arm and she swallowed hard, "Your son needs you El. And your kids…your kids deserve the best version of you."

Elliot moved closer to her, "Liv…"

"Go Elliot." She whispered, "I'll take a cab. I'm fine." His fingers held her tighter and she had to physically detach his fingers, "We're fine."

He knew she was lying, straight to his face and yet he didn't know what the hell to do about it. She walked away without turning around, showing once again how strong she was, how she could do things without any help. But he needed her, right now, he really needed her. Sighing, he stepped out of the elevator and walked in the opposite direction that she had gone. He found it symbolic, two ships always passing in the night and he was starting to worry they'd never collide.


It was getting late, she'd been in the squad room for awhile after leaving Elliot at the hospital. The entire time she sat there, her head was spinning. There were too many things rolling around in her brain, too many emotions coursing through her body. Too many years of fear, of holding it all in and she felt like she was going to crack.

"Don't stay too late…" Cragen said walking towards her, "It's been a hell of a few days…"

Olivia nodded, "Sure. Yeah…I'm almost done here. Just need to fill out a few more things and then I'll be out of here."

Walking all the way up to her desk, he put his hand on her shoulder, "Olivia." She didn't respond and his fingers curled around her shoulder, "Liv…" Slowly she looked up at him, "Sometimes…there is no right answer in a case. Sometimes there will never be a clear clean win for anyone. This is one of those cases. Don't beat yourself up over it. We all did the best we could."

She smiled sadly and looked down, "Yeah. I know." He didn't move and she looked at him quickly and then back at her desk once more, "I'm good Cap. I promise."

He took a deep breath and stepped back, "You always are…"

And then she was alone once more. Leaning over her desk, she was determined to finish her paperwork so she could at least go home. She wanted a shower, or even better a bath, one to wash away this horrible case. Something that was scaldingly hot, but then she grimaced at the thought. Valerie. Burns. Flesh. Nausea rolled in her stomach and she was so focussed on trying not to be sick, she didn't see the person walking in until she heard him talking.

"I'm looking for Detective Stabler."

Olivia looked up and slowly pushed herself out of her chair, "He's gone for the day. I'm his partner. Can I help you?"

"I'm Phillip Anders, an investigator with Valerie Sennet's divorce attorney. I understand you guys are looking for me?" He asked, pressing a hand to his chest.

"Actually, that case is closed." She whispered, eyeing him curiously.

"Yeah…I saw on the news where she is in critical condition. It's terrible. She was an amazing woman." He said softly.

Olivia's heart was pounding and curiosity filled her chest, "Were you close?"

He pursed his lips and shook his head, "Not really. It was casual. We got together on her daughter's visit days with dad."

Her eyes went wide and she asked the next question carefully, "When was the last time you were together?"

His eyes narrowed at her, displeasure evident on his face, "That's personal."

Anger and frustration filled her body and she shrugged, not caring if she pissed this man off, "Well, actually, it needs to go in the file."

The man stepped back again, "Excuse me?"

"Valerie Sennet accused her husband of raping her. So I need to know, when was the last time you had sex with her?" She asked clearly.

He sighed softly and nodded, "Earlier in the week."

Her heart started pounding harder, "The fifth?"

He nodded slowly, "Yes. I left around 5. I had to be out before her daughter came home."

Her head was spinning as she spoke, "Did you use a condom?"

He huffed but nodded slowly, "Yes. I hope you're done prying into the intimate details of my sex life 'cause I'm leaving now."

He stepped away and she called out to him even though she knew what his answer would be, "She's at the burn unit of Cornell University if you would like to visit her."

He didn't even flinch or look remorseful as he spoke, "Like I said... it was just casual."

And then he was gone. She stood there, in complete shock for a few minutes before sitting back down. She had paperwork to finish. Her brain was going a mile a minute but somehow she finished what she needed to get done, even adding the new details about Valerie's lover. She was so tired by the time she stood up, she was surprised when she saw two more people walking into the squad room, two very familiar people.

"Helen. Lou." She whispered, walking towards him, "What…what are you doing here? Are you alright? How did you even find me?"

Lou smiled and shrugged, "Former police officer myself, remember? I knew how to track you down." He said with a shrug, "You left something at our house and we wanted to return it. Told Helen we could make a vacation of it. Spend the night in the city like we used to when we were young and wild."

Olivia smiled at them, "Well that's sweet…what did I forget?"

Helen held out a bag towards her, "Your sweatshirt."

Olivia took the bag slowly, and looking into it, she knew that it in fact was Elliot's. Yes she had been wearing it, but it was his. Just like she would always be his. Swallowing the lump in her throat she looked up, "Oh. I…thank you. You didn't need to come all the way into the city for that. That was so sweet."

"Oh we aren't getting any younger." Helen said with a wave of her hand, "We have to live now while we still have the chance."

"Life's short you know." Lou said, putting an arm around his wife, "You never know when your last day will be. If you don't let yourself live…let yourself love…then you'll have wasted it all."

Olivia's palms were sweating, "So I've been told…"

"Well we have reservations at the Four Seasons." Helen said with a smile, "Is Elliot around? We'd love to say hello."

Olivia shook her head, "Uh no…he's with his son. Just me here tonight."

"Would you like to grab dinner with us then?" Lou asked softly, "Could be good for you to get out of here."

Olivia smiled, "Thank you so much for the invite…but you two should enjoy your night. Together. I…I think I'm going to just go home. It's been a long few days. Tough case."

Lou nodded slowly, "I know that feeling. Sleep helps…but you know what always helped the most?" Somehow Olivia already knew what the answer was going to be but he continued anyway, "Helen…having someone to go home to who would always be right there when I needed her."

Helen shrugged, "I may not have always known what to say…but I was there. We were a team. Always have been. Much like you and Elliot…"

Her eyes burned with tears and she cleared her throat, holding the bag closer to her chest, "Thank you so much for bringing this to me." She scribbled down a note, "If you're ever in the city again…please look me up. Tonight I…"

"Have somewhere you need to be." Lou said with a smile, "I think so too."


Upstairs in his apartment, he felt exhausted, physically and mentally. He'd picked up Dickie, grabbed dinner with him and then driven him home. Something about what Kathy had said when she'd gotten home was confusing him, rolling around his brain along with everything else.

"Thanks for picking him up." She said as she dropped her bag on the table, "Work was crazy."

Elliot nodded slowly, "Same."

Her hands slid across the counter and she frowned, "You okay?"

Clearing his throat he nodded, "Yeah. Just tired. Dickie's eaten and did his homework…Lizzie is studying. I gave them money for lunch tomorrow so you don't have to worry about making them anything."

"Thank you." She said with a smile as he stood up, "Heading back?"

"Yeah." He said with a nod, "Like I said…long day. I need some sleep."

She nodded slowly, "Sure. Okay." She walked with him towards the door, "Hey uh…how is Olivia doing?" He froze and she pushed on, "Kathleen mentioned she was back…had been for awhile."

Elliot rubbed the back of his neck and nodded, "She is. She's…she's good. Fine."

Kathy nodded slowly as she opened the door, the door that had once been his door too, "That's good…you two spend a lot of time together? Talk?"

He frowned and turned all the way towards her, "She's my partner. We work together everyday. Of course."

Kathy nodded, then shrugged, "Sure. But I guess I meant…outside work?"

He stepped back onto the porch and frowned, "We're friends."

"I know." She whispered, "You've always been friends. Great friends. Best friends…I guess I was just wondering if you talk to her about stuff. Everyone needs someone to confide in and I worry about you Elliot. There have been a lot of changes in your life lately and you don't always do well with change…"

He shoved his hands in his pockets and he spoke softly. Images of Tessa being ripped from her Father by him today. Monitored visits, not being able to see his children whenever he wanted to. Panic overtook him as the words poured from his chest, "The kids say something? Did I do something wrong? Kathy you can't take my kids from me. They're all I've got."

She smiled and squeezed the door frame, "I'm not taking them away from you El. I'd never do that. You and I may not have worked out…but you are an incredible Father. They need you." She started to close the door softly, "But for the record…they aren't all you have and you and I both know that."

And then the door shut in his face leaving him on the outside once more.

Lying in his bed, he had one hand resting on his chest. He could feel his heart pounding away, the stress of the day overwhelming him. His free hand rested on the space beside him, the space where Olivia had once been, at least when they were in bed. She'd never stayed here no matter how hard he'd tried. With a heavy sigh, he was about to roll over and attempt to go to sleep when his phone pinged.

Reaching for it, he flipped it open and saw the short message that made his heart race.

Meet me downstairs - Liv

He was moving before he could process his own feelings. He threw on whatever clothes he could find, why was she here? If she wanted sex, she would have said something else or just come up on her own, she knew the combination at this point. Whatever this was, he had a feeling he wasn't going to like it.

As he rode down the elevator he wondered, was she going to break his heart completely? Or by some miracle…was this the moment he'd been waiting for? Could this be the point where she let him in? Pushing the door open, he walked out, she lifted a paper cup up for him and he took it.

Settling in beside her he spoke softly, "Thanks." He peered down at her own cup and asked, "Is that a flower in your cup?"

She laughed softly and answered, "It's tea."

Taking a deep breath he said with a nod, "You're serious about that, aren't you?"

She'd gone back to her apartment, then walked around the block, her mind reeling. And when she'd tried to go back upstairs and sleep, now she couldn't. And now she was here. Maybe it was wrong. Maybe it was going to make this all worse, but right now she just needed and wanted to see him, "I couldn't sleep."

He adjusted the top of his cup and said, "Me neither."

Not looking at him, her voice dropped low and she spoke again, "Valerie Sennet wasn't raped. She was sleeping with a law firm investigator. She really put her husband through the wringer."

He swallowed his sip of coffee and sighed, "Yeah well…She died 20 minutes ago."

Glancing over at her, he saw shock written on her face, and disappointment. And he knew her well enough to know that she was disappointed in herself, even if she had no reason to be. She was always hardest on herself, "She knew that she was gonna die, and she still lie to my face."

Frowning, he watched her carefully and whispered, "When love warps into hate, there's nothing you won't do. That's why I signed the divorce papers when she asked. I don't want Kathy to ever regret me."

Kathy, an elephant in the room. She hadn't told him that she had called, or that they'd talked. That Kathy wanted her to talk to him, to see what was worrying him. But she couldn't bring herself to speak those words. Instead, she had to know that on some level, they would be okay. That their friendship, their partnership was still intact despite what they had done, "So are we okay?"

A loaded question if ever there was one. He decided to start with their partnership, their friendship first and then work backwards feeling it might be safer, "I... I just... need space to disagree with you so that I don't feel like it's gonna cost me our partnership."

Olivia frowned and looked down at her hands, "You've never been gun shy before."

He snorted softly and glanced at her, "Yeah, well, you know, I mean, things change."

Things change. Everything had changed. Everything had changed the moment he'd walked into her apartment that day and made that proposition. He didn't know what he had expected, something about her had always been unexpected. But somehow they'd ended up here. And as terrifying as it was, he didn't regret it. He couldn't regret it because it had given him her, in some capacity it had showed him another side of her. He just wished…it didn't have to be so fucking complicated.

Sighing softly she whispered, "Like you said, you're the longest relationship that I've ever had with a man. Who else would put up with me?"

He grimaced hearing her words, he hated that he had said that. It had come out of anger, frustration and hurt. That was one thing he hated about himself, he was quick to lash out in anger when he was upset. And it was always easy to hurt the people that meant most to you. Turning towards her, he frowned, "Well who else would put up with me? Goes both ways Liv. We need each other…we're a team."

Her breath caught in her throat as she looked at him, and fear prickled in her chest, "It's late…I'm sorry that I woke you up. I just wanted to make sure that…that we were going to be okay."

She stood up and stepped down on one step before he reached out and grabbed her arm, "Liv…"

Her back was to him, and all she was focussed on was his fingers as they slid down her arm and his fingers tangled with hers, "El…"

He squeezed her fingers gently, and she felt it, that pull towards him that she could never understand. So when he spoke again, she knew she wouldn't be able to say no. "Come up…" She still didn't turn and he whispered, "Have you eaten?"

Somehow, that seemed safer even though she knew it probably wasn't. And maybe he knew that too. Turning to look at him she chewed on her lower lip, "I could go for a bite…"

Nodding slowly, he tugged on her hand, "I'll make us something…" She still didn't move and he shrugged, "Come up Liv…"

Slowly, she turned her whole body towards him, their fingers still intertwined. He was watching her, studying her carefully. And she felt like he could see right through her. Straight into her soul, see her fears, her worries, her pain and yet he was still here. Taking a breath, she nodded slowly, "Okay."

His body relaxed slightly, his eyes lit up, growing bluer by the moment and a slow smile turned up at the corner of his lips. Then he stood up, never letting go of her hand as they walked into the building. Both of them still holding onto their cups with their free hands. You could hear a pin drop as they rode the elevator up, a thousand thoughts racing through both of their minds. When they walked through the door of his apartment, he let go of her hand but didn't allow her to get far. Walking towards the kitchen, he saw her lift herself up on the counter as he moved towards the fridge, "What do you want?"

Another loaded question she thought but she just shrugged before whispering, "Whatever you have is fine…"

Nodding, he peered into the fridge, "An omlet?"

He looked over at her, one of those infamous Stabler smirks on his face and her heart raced, "Sounds great."

"An omlet it is." He said with a nod as he reached for the ingredients, "Gonna go with veggie for you…and meat lovers for me. Just like our pizza usually. Am I right?"

Her feet dangled over the edge of the counter and she nodded, "You're right…"

"Hm…" He took the ingredients and placed them on the counter beside her, "See…told you I know you Benson."

She swallowed hard, "Yeah. You do. You may be the only one who does…"

He stopped what he was doing for a moment, letting her words wash over him. He turned to look at her, he was close, very close. All he had to do was move an inch to the right and his hand would be on her leg. Two weeks, two weeks since he'd touched her and it felt like forever. Suddenly, her hand fell down onto the counter between them, and his fingers were inching towards hers. His pointer finger slid over her pinky, sliding up and down and her breath caught in her throat. Slowly, he lifted his eyes to look at her and he saw it, that little bit of hope he'd been searching for. That part of her that told him that she needed him too. And then he moved, and she didn't push him away. His hands rested on her hips, and hers lifted to his shoulders.

Leaning in, his lips hovered just above hers, breathing her in, trying to read her reaction. Her fingers lifted to the back of his neck, holding him closer, "Elliot…"

He moved in, brushing his lips over hers, gently, in a way he hadn't before. Up until then it was hard and fast, full of fire. But this was slow, hesitant, asking for permission. He pulled back, only enough to see her face. But her eyes were closed, and he needed to see her eyes, "Liv…look at me." She bit down hard on her lip and he sighed, repeating it again as he had that night in the car, "Look at me…"

But he meant so much more by it and they both knew it. Her eyes fluttered open and her breath caught in her throat, but she saw him, and he saw her and as scared as she was she needed to feel something tonight. She needed to feel him. Leaning forward, she pressed her lips to his, her voice dropping low as she spoke the next word, this plea, "Please…"

And once more he couldn't deny her, or his own need for her. He leaned all the way in, capturing her lips in his, opening himself to her. Her legs wrapped around his waist quickly, and he was lifting her, their food forgotten on the counter. Walking them towards his room, he held her in his arms, he kicked his shoes off as they went to his room. They'd been here so many times before but somehow this felt different.

Lowering her down on the bed, he held her head as moved them, making sure that he cradled her head as she lay back on the pillows. Kneeling between her legs, he sat back and began to pull on his hoodie, tossing it to the side, his t-shirt soon following. She watched him, as if she was seeing him for the first time, and maybe she was. He reached out to unzip her own jacket, she shimmied out of it, breathing hard but her eyes never left his. He leaned back in, kissing her slowly, as he continued to shed her clothes. And then something occurred to him, a thought, an idea and he wondered how she would take it. "Olivia…"

Her chest rose and fell, his fingers gliding up her naked torso, "Hm…?"

Leaning in, he pressed his lips to her neck, sucking on her pulse point gently, "Tonight, I want to be in charge." He felt her body stiffen, but he moved to her cheek, her jaw and he kissed her slowly, "Let me take the lead here…"

To him, it meant he wanted to show her something different. To show her how to make love, but to her, she thought this was still part of this game. That he only saw this as sex. As a release, but right now she needed him so badly she couldn't seem to say no. He kissed her again and pulled back and asked, "Can you let me do that? Will you let me Liv?"

Taking a deep breath, she felt his hands slide up her torso, one hand resting on her chest, he could feel her heart pounding. "Yes…"

Leaning in once more, he kissed her and continued his path with his fingers and she gave in, getting lost in hiim, and he in her. They'd do many things, some that she still couldn't wrap her brain around even if she had been the one that initiated most of it. But this felt different, this position felt vulnerable and she knew it, and he knew it. She was giving him the power, the ability to be in control, something she hadn't fully done yet.

Settling himself between her legs, his fingers teased her gently, wanting to make sure she was with him, fully with him. Her hands squeezed his shoulder, holding him closer as he touched her, again and again, a softness, a tenderness she had never felt before. And then she spoke again, the same word she'd said in the kitchen, "Please…"

His hands slid to her thighs, opening her wider to him as he settled there, between her legs, his cock pressed up against her. He rocked forward, the tip of him sliding over her clit and she shuddered, still locked in his embrace. "Please…" She whispered again, "Please Elliot…"

Slowly, he entered her. Filling her completely, and he held himself there. Holding himself above her, his arms braced on either side of her. He looked down, his eyes searching hers and she barely seemed to blink, just watching him, allowing herself to be in this moment. He started to move slowly, thrusting, deep, long, one hand moved to her thigh, wrapping her legs around his waist, "Olivia…"

Her second leg wrapped around him, her body titling so that as he thrust inside of her, he hit at a new angle, something she hadn't felt before and she gasped, "Elliot…oh God…"

He held her hip with one hand, and moved the other, bracing his arm on the mattress. His fingers traced the side of her face, his thumb moving towards her lip, "I'm right here Liv…"

Her hands slid up his back, her nails digging into his muscles, so hard that she knew she'd leave a mark. He hissed, and held her legs higher on his waist, "Elliot…"

His thumb traced her bottom lip, her lips parting. Her breath pressing against his skin, his thumb dipped into her mouth, "I'm right…here."

She clung to him as he moved, so slowly she felt like she was going to lose her mind. She'd never been touched like this, no one had taken their time, no one made her feel this. And it was frightening, terrifying, and yet all at the same time, she'd never felt so safe in all her life. Here, in his arms, in his bed, she was safe. For the first time in her life, she truly felt safe. Tears pooled in the corner of her eyes and he leaned in, kissing them away as they spilled down her cheeks.

He continued to move, filling her, feeling her wrapped around him, connecting to her in a way he'd always wanted. This wasn't sex, this was love. He was making love to her and she had to feel it, the emotions coursing through her body weren't lost on him. Their bodies were warm, skin flushed, sweaty as they came together, over and over. He adjusted his position, holding himself higher, his cock sliding against her clit as he continued to thrust inside of her. She cried out, wrapping one hand around his neck, pulling him closer, "Please…" She begged again.

His lips pressed against hers, "I'm here…" He kissed her twice more, then dipped his head into the crook of her neck, breathing her in, "God I'm here Liv…I'm right here."

What he didn't say was, I've always been right here.

Her hand held his face close, holding him against her, her fingers digging into the back of his neck, "I-I-I can feel you…so-so deep."

He groaned and pressed his lips under her ear, "Yes. Feel me…feel this Olivia…"

He moved a little faster, just as deep but faster, his hips slamming into hers and she gasped. Her body hummed with arousal, with need, with love. "I need…"

Biting down on her shoulder, he sighed and let his hand move along her side, "Tell me…tell me Liv."

Her body was shaking, her legs holding him in place, "I…I don't know…"

He growled and moved his kisses across her chest, "Olivia…"

Her fingers digging harder into his neck, her voice cracking, "I don't know…I don't know…"

He sighed, and bent, wrapping his lips around her nipple, "You do know…" He moved deeper, and he lifted his face to kiss her softly, "You do know Olivia…you do." He took her hand, and pressed it between them, holding her there, "You do…I know you do."

His eyes found hers once more, staring so intensely that once again she felt him seeing through her. Straight down to her soul and she'd never felt so vulnerable in her life here in his bed. The tears came again but he didn't look away from her. Didn't make her feel the need to be shy, didn't make her feel like she was doing something wrong. He held her there, held himself there above her, the two of them. And it started building, but it felt different than ever before. And as her release ripped through her body, shocking her to her core, her body felt warm, light and still he moved. His thrusts slowed as her body pulled him in, "Oh…oh my God."

He sighed and pressed his lips to his neck, "God Olivia…fuck…" He thrust one, twice, three more times and spilled inside of her, his body shaking, trembling around her.

Her fingers slid up and down his back as they breathed together, trying to come down from this high, but not wanting too. Her legs ached and slowly, they fell from his waist. He sighed and lowered himself slowly, rolling them both to the side. Still he held her hand between them, tight, not wanting to let go. Afraid of what it would mean. Lying there side by side, he reached out with his free hand and pushed back her bangs that stuck to the side of her face, "You're beautiful…"

Rule number 6, no compliments.

But she didn't say it, she lay there beside him, wanting this life. Wanting him more than she had ever before. Licking her lips, she felt drowsy, her body ached, she was tired, thirsty, unable to move from this space. It felt like she'd been so strong for so long and right now, she just wanted to let go. She shifted slightly, and somehow he saw her discomfort, because of course he did. Leaning forward he kissed her temple, "I'll be back in a second."

She lay there, even without him beside her, she felt him. His bed was warm, she smelled his cologne, and that feeling of safety began to fill her again. She'd never felt so secure, and suddenly her eyes were closing and she was succumbing to sleep, a deep, deep sleep that had evaded her for years. And when he came back with two glasses of water, he stood there, in the doorway. She was fast asleep, curled up around one of his pillows, the sheet resting low on her hips.

Rule number 2, no sleep overs.

They'd slept in the same bed that night of the storm, but this, this was different and he knew it. Maybe he should wake her up. Maybe he should make her talk to him. But she looked so peaceful, so calm. In all the years he'd known her, she'd never looked so at ease and he wanted to keep her here. He wanted to live here, in this moment, with her. Walking towards the bed, he placed the water on the table and then eased the sheet back, settling in beside her once more. She didn't move though, so deep in her sleep that it would take a lot to wake her. And right now, he didn't want to wake her up, he wanted to sleep beside her, and hopefully, in the morning, she'd still see what she saw tonight.

Him. Them.

All they could be. Slowly, he moved towards her, one arm resting above her head. The other, wrapping slowly around her waist, pulling her closer. She sighed in her sleep, and he held his breath, worried she was going to push him away. Instead, her fingers moved towards him, wrapping herself around him, pulling him closer to her. He sighed as her head rested against his chest, her ear pressed against his heart and he knew it was beating hard. Ducking his head, he pressed his lips to her forehead and said the three words he'd felt for so long but still hadn't been able to say, but he hoped she had felt it tonight, "I love you."

Rule number 1, don't fall in love with your partner.

She didn't move. And neither did he. Sleep overtook him, and just like her it was deep, comfortable, safe. Something he hadn't felt since he was a child, maybe ever. And he never, ever wanted it to end.

But that's the funny thing about love sometimes. What looks safe at night…often looks terrifying once the sun rises again. At least until both parties are ready, fully ready and believed in this type of love. And only one of them had reached that conclusion tonight…