Why Did He Leave Me?

(Iris POV)

It's been almost 2 years since I have seen Steve, 6 months I stopped hoping to ever see him again and 4 months I finally stopped crying. He just disappeared, I saw on t.v that he was a wanted man but why didn't he tell me? Did he not want me to go with him? Why didn't he ask me? I would have gone with him, I would have been happy to go into hiding if it meant being with him! He hasn't called or even written to me. All he told me was he would be gone for a few days and that's it, I don't even know if he's okay! I finally believed in someone, had put myself out there more then I had with anyone and he just left.

I thought about leaving college, I thought why bother? Then I told myself I was not going to let him stop me from doing what I began really wanting to do. I am sitting in class as my professor is finishing his session, "okay, we'll finish this next week." he said as I get up he turns to me "Miss Watson, can I see you for a second?"

"Yeah?" I walk up to him.

"I see you requested to be my TA, you have been approved." He tells me, "we'll make it official next week."

"Really? Thank you sir!" I happily smile and shake his hand. "When will I start being able to work with children?"

"Well let's not get too ahead of ourselves, you still have a lot of work to do." He starts to say, "but I would say maybe in a couple months. Just keep up the good work, you'll get there."

"Thank you." I replied and I leave the class.

This TA job will allow me with supervision from my professor to start working with children! I had been working so hard between going to school and continuing to work at the bar at night, it did make it difficult to study but I tough it out. I walk out of class with a smile on my face but soon it fades when I see someone walk beside me, I instantly know who it is. It's Nick, he was in most of my classes, also studying to be a councilor.

"Hey, what did he want?" He asks me.

"None of you business." I reply as I continue to walk, I don't even look at him.

"Oh come on, I'm just trying to make conversation."

"Fine, I got the TA position." I smile.

"Awesome, good for you. He turned me down."

"Too bad." I shrug as I carry my books.

"Those look heavy, would you like me to carry those to your car?" He offered.

"Thanks but I got it."

"Okay...listen, maybe we could go celebrate." He requests.

"Thanks for the offer but no, I work tonight."

"Oh, I guess I'll see you in class then."

"Yeah, sure." I can only say, I was trying to be nice but he annoys me. He's always asking me out, coming up with any way to hang out with me.

After I get home I study until I come into work for my shift. I am so tired and I try hard to not let it show, I go behind the bar with a smile because I am so excited to tell my friends about my good news! "Hey, guess what?" I spoke with a smile.

"What?" Renee asks.

"I got the TA job!"

"That's great, when can you start?" Amber asked me very excited.

"Well, I start next week and he said I still have a lot of work to do but I could probably start working with children in a couple months." I told them.

"That's great but are you sure about this though? It could be very difficult to hear, especially with all your past boyfriends." Renee asked worriedly.

"...I'll be fine. Yes, it's going to be hard to hear but if I can help one child...then it's worth it."

"Well good." They both said with smiles on their faces.

I start taking drink orders when I recognize a familiar face, it's Nick. He sits right down at my station, I sigh to myself and walk up to him. "Nick, what are you doing here?" I ask coldly.

"Iris, calm down, I didn't know you worked here." He replies with his hands up, "I'm just grabbing a beer is all."

"Fine." I annoying exhale, I don't believe him.

"You do look great though." He comments as he looks me up and down.

"Thanks." I roll my eyes, "I'll grab that beer for you." I walk away to grab more mugs.

"Who's that?" Renee whispers to me.

"Nick, remember I told you about him." I told her.

"That's him? He's cute...you should go for it."

"Uh no, I don't think so." I reply, again rolling my eyes.

"Iris...it's been almost 2 years...you gotta move on." Amber chimed in, "I'm mean just because Ste..."

"Please don't say his name!" I immediately cut her off. "This isn't about HIM...I just have no interest in dating..." I snap a little not meaning to, it just came out. They both give me sad looks that's making me feel worse. "I'm sorry...I just don't want to talk about him."

"But...you could be missing out on something great." Renee gently brings up.

I strongly exhale, "...I thought did..." I force myself to hold back my years. "...Trust me, I think I'll live."

I don't let them respond I just walk away from them and go over and pour him his beer. He smiles at me, reaches for his beer and grazes my hand with his fingertips gently, I pull my hand away immediately, he continues to smile at me while he drinks his beer. "Thank you." He said with a grin, "look, maybe after you get off work we could go do something."

"No thanks. I have a lot of studying to do and plus I don't want to." I respond coldly as I start to walking away.

"Look, I want to get to know you better. I think we could have a lot of fun." He follows me, he extends his arm trying to go for my hand again. I roll my eyes, why do they always do that? Do they really think they sound charming when it's obvious all they want is sex? He sounds just like those two raping assholes!

"Hey asshole, don't touch me, I told you I have no interest in you so that's a no. Now if you will excuse me as you can see it's a busy night, I have work to do."

"Okay, I'm sorry...how about we just be friends then?" He asked suddenly, putting his hands up like he's surrendering.

"No." I very quickly answer.

"Well, I knew that was a long shot. How about instead we become study partners? Professor Smith said we should and I know you need one and so do I. We'll help each other out."

"I don't know..."

"Come on, no funny business, we'll just be study buddies, that's it."

"...Fine, I'm only doing this because I do need one. Get this straight though we aren't dating, friends, buddies or anything other then study partners." I sternly remind him. I would have told him no but my Professor was pushing everyone to get one and I really did need one and I really had no other options. With becoming a TA now, working nights and trying to study, it was all getting a bit overwhelming and classes were just getting harder.

"You got it." He replies with a smile, "I think we're going to get along just fine."

"Yeah, sure. Now if you will excuse me." I exhale and walk away, I had to get away from him.

Nick touching my hand was the first time that a man had touched me in such a way since Steve. It took all of my willpower to not smack him across the face. I have to force myself not think about him, Renee and Amber stopped bringing him up, tonight was the first time in months that they mentioned him and obviously I don't take it well. It was difficult just to say and hear his name out loud! I come home to my empty apartment, well other the Luna who welcomes me home. As I kneel down to pet her I look around and it feels so cold and I feel so alone and...I miss him, as angry and heartbroken as I am I just missed him more then anything. I miss our movie dates, running and working out together, talking and laughing throughout the whole night about nonsense...him holding me so tight.

I go inside my closet to get ready for bed when I see and pull out one of his shirts, the same shirt he let me wear the night he saved me, I had never given it back to him, in fact I got into custom to wear it all the time to bed. I haven't worn or seen it in over a year. I can't bare to throw it away, I hold it close and smell it as I close my eyes, it still smelled like him, I softly cry in his shirt. It's been almost two years, I should just forget him but...I can't. I have to accept though that I am never going to see him again and that he didn't give a damn about me, if he did he would have told me somehow, not just disappear and abandon me! I put the shirt back and try to study some more but with no such luck tonight. I instead go to my window and look out at the night sky and I wonder...is he also looking out at the sky thinking about me? Does he think about me at all? I end up having another sleepless night wondering if he will ever leave my thoughts and dreams.


I know it's sad that she thinks he abandoned her but that was a given from her past! And can Nick be trusted?