Counseling

(Iris POV)

I have been a TA for about a month and a half. I haven't had a one on one experience with any children yet, I have just been observing. It's been difficult to hear, I couldn't help seeing myself when these children would talk about not just their fathers but mothers, grandparents and others too. The last couple of weeks my Professor has been trying to get a 10 year old girl named Molly to communicate, she hasn't said a word since her mother and her fled from her father a year ago.

My Professor comes to me from the other side of the glass, he doesn't look happy. "Ms. Watson, there's not going to be any observing today." He announced scrunching the bridge of his nose looking disappointed.

"Why is that?" I ask him.

"Because unfortunately Molly is going to be seeing a new councilor. Her mom thinks a change will be good for her." He answers.

"Sir, I want to try."

"No, I'm sorry. That's not a good idea, I don't think her mom will allow a student and your still green."

"Sir, please. What difference will it make if she leaves anyways? Please, give me a chance." I beg.

"Okay, I think I can distract her mom for a little while, you have 30 minutes." He told me.

"Thank you." I said with a smile.

I go to the door but before I open it I take a deep breath, I'm suddenly regretting volunteering and am really nervous, I just don't want to mess this up. What if I am terrible at this? What if I make her worse? But a voice is telling me to believe and trust myself, I really want to help this little girl and I'm going to do everything I could to do so. I exhale and walk in. "Hi Molly, I'm Ms. Watson, you can call me Iris." I tell her as I sit down across from her, she's just sitting there turning in her seat not looking at me, just looking at the floor.

We sit in silence for a few minutes. "Would you like to draw?" I ask her, she nods her head yes. "Good, here you go." I give her a big piece of paper and crayons.

She has been drawing for a few minutes now and I'm struggling to know what to do next, "you know what? I think I will draw too." I told her, I leave my seat and go on my knees to sit beside her at the small table in the middle of the room. I don't know what to draw and I'm not very good but I want to establish calmness and want her to relax.

We drew our pictures for about 10 minutes. Again, inside I'm so nervous and will think I'm screwing up and it didn't help that I know that I'm possibly being watched by who knows how many people but again that voice said to keep going and trust myself. "What are you drawing?" I ask her, she shows me. "Yours is good, a lot better then mine. I am not very good." I smile as I show her mine, she kind of gives me a half grin...that's at least a start! "Is that you and your mom?" She nods yes to me. I give her a little smile, "you are very lucky to have her...I wish I had a mom...I lost mine." I tell her as I continue to draw.

"You...you did?" She suddenly spoke out loud, I look up and stop what I'm doing and inside I'm freaking out but also trying as hard as I can to not show it and stay professional.

"Yeah...I was 14." I softly answered.

"What happened to her?" She asks me again.

"Well Molly...she died." I answer her, I was not going to talk down to her.

"How?"

"...Someone hurt her." Is all I said, "your lucky to have such a good mommy, she made sure that you didn't get hurt anymore."

"She's mad at me." She revealed very softly.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because she is always mad and crying." She told me, I get closer to her and put my hand on her shoulder.

"She's not mad at you Molly, she's sad because your dad did terrible things and she is angry with him, not you. She loves you."

"I thought it was my fault." Her eyes start to water.

"No, nothing was yours or your mom's fault, it was your dad's fault. Don't let him do that to you okay?" I sternly but gently told her, "your mom was very brave and so were you...your going to get through this...but you've got to get through it together, not by shutting her out." She didn't say anything, she just gives me a big hug, it was so sweet!

Her mom bolts in at that moment quite upset that a student was talking to her daughter and especially without her permission but the second she saw her hugging me she stopped with whatever she was going to say. "Hi mommy." Molly spoke quietly but loud enough for everyone to hear as she goes and hugs her.

"Hi. Molly your talking!" Her mom could only say with tears in her eyes, she holds her little face and gives her a little kiss on the cheek, "I can't believe it! I don't know what you did but thank you!"

"Can we come back here and keep talking to Iris?" Molly asked her mom. "Absolutely." Inside I'm cheering but I stay calm and collected on the outside, "Is that okay Professor Smith?" She finished.

"Yes, we can work something out." He replied with a smile.

"Thank you, all I can say is thank you." She tells me as we step out to the hall.

"Your welcome." I smile, "I hope she tells you what's been going through her mind when you get home."

"Me too." She heavily sighed. I know I shouldn't discuss what we talked about without Molly giving me permission, I don't want to lose her trust when I just gained it. She takes Molly's hand who was still emotional but smiling and as they left the area Professor Smith turned to me with a confused grin on his face.

"I am impressed, how did you do that?" He asks.

"I don't know, I just started talking..." I could only say, I don't know how to answer that question quite yet.

"Well, good job. From now on with supervision you'll be working with her."

"Thank you." I happily reply with a smile.

A Month Later

For the past month I've been her councilor plus one other little girl with a similar experience and it was going very well, I love helping them. Every time I end a session they get better and better, smiling more and more. I took the approach to talk to them like a friend, they seemed to really respond to that. My Professor stopped observing me recently since I was doing so well, I'm helping Emma who was 12, when she first came here she was angry and caused trouble at school but now her true colors were coming out and she was so sweet and very misunderstood...she reminded me of myself. Hell I'm still going through it!

"Iris?" She asks me as we're playing cards.

"Yeah?" I respond as I put a card down and drew another one.

"Did you get hurt too when you were a kid?"

"...Yeah, I did." I answer as I look up at her.

"Your dad too?" She asks softly.

"Yeah...he was bad man." I told her.

"And he died?"

"Yes, he died"

"I wish my dad was..." She bitterly blurted out, I just look at her.

"Your worried that he's going to come after you huh?" I ask her, she didn't say anything, just nods her head. "Well, he's in prison and he's going to be in there for a long time and you guys changed your names so he can't get to you." I reassure her, this made me think of the men from my past that are in prison, I'm always terrified they will get out too or that my stalker will find me.

"What if he escapes?" She asked as she drew a card.

"That won't happen...you can't live your life in fear. You won't truly live if you do, okay?" I tell her, she again nods her head.

"Iris, who helped you?" She suddenly asked.

"Helped me with what?"

"You know, make you feel better. You make me feel better, who helped you?"

"...No one...I had to help myself." I reply softly.

I don't know why I said that, I know that's not true but I couldn't bring myself to say that HE helped me...I couldn't even admit to myself that every time I hear a voice telling me to believe in myself that it's HIS voice in my head. I couldn't admit after all the pain he caused that he still was a positive impact in my life. Damn him!

"Nah, someone helped you..." She confidently responded, "I bet it was a boy."

"Hey, I am suppose to be helping you here, just keep kicking my butt at cards." I told her as she giggles. I giggled back but inside I wasn't smiling at all. Was I really that obvious? If a little girl could see it, who else could?


I hope you liked this chapter and I know it seems unlikely for Iris to be good at this right away but I wanted to establish that she had a natural talent with helping children and is good at this. And don't worry, Steve and Iris will reunite soon!