Title: The Retaliation. (Pt. 2 of An Aussie Scorned)
Summary: House pulls a prank. Chase wants to retaliate. Retaliation vs. SWS (Scared Wombat Syndrome)
Disclaimer: I don't own House M.D., despite all the times I've spent wishing I did.
Author's Note: Comments are always welcome. Thanks so much for all of your comments in pt. 1, they were really appreciated. :) I'm glad you guys enjoyed it.
Life was good. Yesterday, Chase had been hit on by a male nurse, an intern that House had always had suspicions about, and a radiologist that had caught them both completely by surprise - and all before noon. Even the clinic couldn't get the older man down, despite being forced to treat a woman who had diagnosed herself with glaucoma when she simply needed a stronger glasses prescription.
Today, the goal was to try and set Chase up on a blind date with any number of the hospital's available and interested bachelors. Step two would be telling him and trying to keep track of how many shades of red the young man turned. House popped a pill into his mouth and swallowed, allowing his thoughts to float idly over his schemes for the day. A voice broke into his musings; it was the bored voice of a man in a delivery uniform who was making it blatantly obvious that there were plenty of things he would prefer to be doing, none of which included his job. "Delivery for Dr. House?"
"I'm Dr. House. Unless that's a bomb you're holding, in which case that guy's Dr. House." A cane pointed at a random patient punctuated the statement.
"A dozen roses, courtesy of Speedy Boots Delivery. " The man was speaking louder than necessary, calling the attention of everybody in the clinic. The patients were simply curious about the scene, whereas those working couldn't help questioning who would be mentally unbalanced or who would have taste questionable enough to send the gruff diagnostician flowers. (A bouquet of vicodin would probably make a more suitable and well recieved gift.)
"You must have the wrong guy. You're obviously looking for somebody who's well-liked."
"It says here on the card - 'For Dr. Greg House. ' "
"Care of?"
" 'With Love - ' " the man began loudly before being quickly interrupted, yet again.
" - 'Love'. Now, you may not get the humor in that, but everyone else who's currently staring at you in your ridiculously hideous green shorts knows that that's indication enough that those overpriced flowers you're holding were probably meant for some cuddly cancer patient."
The man wasn't amused, nor was he impressed. Instead, he gave House a blank look before clearing his throat and continuing. " 'With Love, Dr. James Wilson.' "
It seemed that at that moment, everyone began bustling around, working extra hard at their respective jobs. But the moment the sound of the cane, thudding on the hard linoleum floor, receded into the distance and was swallowed by the elevator, conversation ran rampant. Most of it was along the lines of, "Should have known..." The grapevine had settled briefly, the hospital staff satisfied to finally have material in their normally bare arsenal of defense against House. The delivery man simply smiled smugly at the thought of having just earned himself a twenty dollar tip.
House noticed the other employees stopping their conversation whenever he drew near. Others simply hurried in the opposite direction (not unusual in and of itself, except that they now moved more quickly and avoided his eye contact). He smiled softly to himself thinking that maybe this had been a blessing in disguise, because for the last hour, he'd had no trouble getting people to leave him alone.
"Delivery for Dr. House," came a young voice and the doctor turned, looking at the teenage boy behind him in masked disbelief. "Are you Dr. House?" the young man asked, and immediately regretted doing so when he saw the expression on the unfriendly man's face. Blue eyes narrowed as his gaze flickered to the roses in the boy's hands.
"Your delivery people must have not gotten the point last time. I don't do flowers."
A few nurses noticed a skinny young man in a green delivery outfit hurrying out the hospital doors, looking as though his life had just flashed before his eyes. In reality, he'd simply been threatened with a prostate exam, courtesy of House's cane. The same hostility was afforded to the delivery man who came the next hour. And the hour after that... In fact, a bouquet of roses was showing up every hour, on the hour, to the hospital, courtesy of Speedy Boots Delivery, care of - or rather, "With Love," as each had loudly proclaimed for all patients and workers to hear - Dr. James Wilson.
The diagnostician's office was filled with the annoying aroma of roses before lunch time rolled around. Foreman raised his eyebrows questioningly, Cameron took pleasure in arranging the vases around the room, and Chase wore a look of mild amusement.
