4 Miserable Months Later

(Iris POV)

It has been 4 months since I found out about Steve's death. I didn't leave the apartment for over a month, it was difficult to get out of bed but I soon realized that he wouldn't want me to live this way, he died so I could live and that was exactly what I was going to do, live and never forget what he had done for me. I have gone back to work and school, I thought I was finished, that they were going to fire and kick me out but after I told them I was going through a tragedy they understood.

I went back to counseling Emma almost a month ago, I only had a few sessions with her left, I was happy that her mother didn't give up on me. I am having a session with her now, we're playing cards.

"You beat me again! I swear I am not trying to let you win." I sigh as she laughs.

"I figured that out the last time we played cards, you were getting so mad." She continues to laugh at my expense.

"...Yeah, my friends stopped playing with me," I grin with a chuckle of my own. "How's school going?"

"Good, I made a few friends." She smiles.

"That's good." I smile back at her, "your mom was telling me that she is dating someone."

"...Yeah," She could only say.

"Are you doing okay with that?" I just look at her with my eyes but keep my face at the cards.

"...I guess." She answers quietly.

"Is it getting serious?"

"Yeah...he asked her to marry him...she said yes..." She's getting upset, I can tell she's leaving something out.

"Emma, you know you can talk to me." I tell her seriously as I stop playing to look at her.

"I know...I'm just scared..." She confesses softly.

"Are you afraid he's going to turn out like your dad?"

"Yeah...what if he's also bad? What if he hurts us?" She questions quietly looking down, I take her hand so she looks at me.

"It's okay to feel that way...I did too." I reveal to her.

"You did?" She asks me confused.

"Yeah...it took me a long time to trust people...I thought the exact same thing you are right now. I thought, how could I trust anybody?" I told her, I wasn't going to bring up my pasts boyfriends, this was about both of our fathers. "But...you have to trust people...not everyone is going to be like your dad."

"What made you start trusting people?" She asks me.

"...Someone special..." Is all I can say without getting emotional, "and this man that your mom is going to marry...he could be that special person for you...the father that you deserve and the husband your mom also deserves."

"We could actually be a family?" She asked hopeful.

"Yeah." I smile.

"Okay...I'll stop being mean to him..." I can't help but smirk remembering how mean I was to people, especially Steve when we first met.

"Good." I said with a grin.

"I knew someone helped you!" She proudly stated.

"Sorry...at the time I couldn't admit." I told her honestly.

"It's okay," She shrugs. "We only have a couple sessions left?" She asks me suddenly.

"Yeah...2 more." I answer.

"You think I'm ready?"

"Yes, especially after today." I confidently tell her, she just smiles and gives me a nod, about 20 minutes later her mom and boyfriend came to pick her up, he seems like a nice guy but of course I'm always a bit worried, I'm protective of my girl after all!

I go to work right after my session with Emma. I am pouring drinks when I see a familiar face walk in, it's Maria. She comes to the bar quite a bit, she will stay for about an hour and just hang out with me and the girls, she's always trying to make me smile or laugh. She really has become a good friend.

"Hey," I shout through the music.

"Busy night?" She also shouts, I just nod.

"So how's the investigation going?" I ask.

"...I wish I could say good but...we haven't been able to find Ross at all." Maria tells me, "I have a feeling he's not in the states."

"You guys will find him." I reassure her.

"I don't know...it took Steve going to him to get that damn evidence...he could be anywhere."

"I still can't believe they let you hear the recording finally."

"It was about damn time." She responds as she takes a drink.

"Why did it take so long? You were never on the run." I asked.

"They said they were taking special "precautions" of anyone that use to work for Shield." She rolls her eyes.

"How do you think he got it?" I ask delicately.

"I have no idea, it's not like Steve was savvy with phones." I can't help but giggle at that, I just remember all the times he butt dialed me or didn't understand what LOL meant or had to go through step by step on how to set up his voicemail but my smile turns to sad, "sorry." She gently mouths.

"No, it's okay...I like hearing stories about him."

"How are you doing?" She asks me.

"Good, I only have two sessions left with Emma."

"That's great, will you get anymore kids after this?"

"I have no idea but...my professor did hint about me actually getting an actual job there." I reveal.

"Really? That would be amazing." She excitedly replied.

"I know but I don't want to get too overly excited, it might not even happen...but I do really hope so! I don't think I can work in this bar another second!"

"You'll get it! I know it!" She confidently said.

"We'll see." I cross my fingers.

"You want to do something tonight? Sam, Natasha and I could take you out dancing or something "

"...I wish I could but I am exhausted." I tell her.

"Fine be like that," She teases, "I better go." She bought her beer.

"I'll see you later." I waved as she left the bar.

I wasn't lying when I said I was exhausted but I also sadly avoided seeing Natasha and Sam lately, it was tough to see them because it just made me think of Steve...they are a constant reminded that he's really gone and it makes it so hard to move on but I do want them in my life...they are the only ones that understandd what I'm through. Sure neither Sam or Natasha had feelings for him like I did but they both dedicated their lives to serving with him, he was both of their best friends but it's still hard to see them and I always feel guilty for turning them down but I can't help it. Not to mention just the mere thought of going dancing just turns my stomach and makes my heart break.

A Few Weeks Later

I walk into my apartment from taking Luna to the vet, every few months she gets a shot in her hip to help with pain but because the shot is so strong they keep her overnight for observation, she's always just fine. I suddenly notice my little side lamp is on...huh that's strange I don't remember leaving it on before going to work! I shrug it off and go into the bathroom and start to shower, while in there I feel a cold breeze in the air, I poke my head out and don't see anything but I have a bad feeling about something. I finish quickly, get dressed and walk out to the living room, I see that one of my windows is open, it's freezing out and it makes me shiver. I go over, look out the window and see someone staring at me. I quickly close and lock all my windows up and go to my front door to make sure that its locked and chained, it is. I go back to the window and the man is gone and exhale in relief. I turn off all the lights and head back into my room when I feel someone grab me from behind, they put their hand over my mouth so I can't scream and holds my arms so I can't step away or move.

"Don't scream." He whispers in my ear. This has to be the man that was outside my window, God he's fast! I without thinking or hesitating step on his foot and elbow his gut. "Wait, I'm not trying..." He is about to say but I am not letting him talk.

I turn around, I can't see his face at all. I am trying to punch him but he blocks it, I use the other hand and he block sit, I kick him in the ribs and he grabs my leg at the thigh but when he grabs my leg I'm able to land a blow to his nose, he groans in pain and am about to hit him again but he grabs my arm and pushes me against the wall while he still holds my leg and arm and his face catches the moonlight. "Stop, I'm not trying to hurt you." He whispers as he stares at me dead in the eyes.

I am breathless...I honestly can't breathe. I can't believe what I am seeing, I am afraid this isn't real or its a dream. I stare into his piercing blue eyes. "Steve? Is that you?" He drops my arm and leg and steps back just a little but, he looks confused.

I go to touch his face but he stops my hand, "do I know you?"


Of course he's alive! I wouldn't kill Steve! But what is going on? Why did everyone think he was dead? Why doesn't he know her?