Disclaimer: As usual I don't own anything.
Emma: Yeah, both are acting OOC in comparison with how the characters are portrayed on the show, but hey that's what fan fiction is for right!
JmQt831That's really nice to hear, guess my writing is pretty good then huh:-)
Pinkie101WOW, thanks a lot!
And to everyone else that has reviewed thanks for reading and reviewing! Keep them coming:)
Chapter 12
The very next day Lucas is sitting in philosophy class fighting a loosing battle against his heavy eyelids and just when it looks like he is about to admit defeat he feels a tap on his shoulder and a note drops on his desk.
(Looking sharp there Scott! Try to keep those gorgeous eyes of yours open otherwise you will end up waking our peacefully slumbering classmates with your snoring-Hales)
(How nice of you to look out for our classmates but I do NOT snore! And Hales pot calling the kettle back-Luke)
(I had a cold! And at least I don't sound like a freaking bulldozer on regular basis-Hales.)
Before Lucas has a chance to write an answer, he hears a chair being pushed back and sees Haley sprinting passed him with a hand covering her mouth.
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X- Oh God not again-X is running over and over in Haley's head as she runs down the corridor hoping no one she knows will see her and want to talk cuz God only knows she is cutting it close as it's.
X-Really Haley you should be used to this by now, but are you…nooooo…. not Haley -the- best- ever- denier- in- the- world- James. I really should try to avoid school days when my breakfast finds a new home in the toilet ten minutes after I've eaten it, like today. Last time I had to run out of the classroom like this, I was sent to the school nurse and it took me half an hour to convince her I didn't need a physical. I'm soo not putting myself in that situation again, even though this whole pregnancy has made me an excellent liar I doubt can bluff my way out of an examination if I ever end up there again. Maybe I should just tell her I'm pregnant….oh yeah that would fly… get a grip James. Oh no is that Brooke exiting the restroom! Shit it is…maybe I can just ignore her and push my way pass…yeah like that will work, when have Brooke ever been ignored…well I guess it's worth a try, ok here goes nothing-X
Barely has she finished that thought when she is shot down by Brooke grabbing her arm.
"Easy there tutor girl. Where is the fire!"
X-My stomach-X
"Not now Brooke ok!" Haley pleads trying desperately to get pass again as she feels she can't hold it down much longer.
"Yes now. It's about time you and I have a little chat about you and Broody", Brooke answers completely oblivious to the fact that she just has placed herself in the path of a pregnant woman with ranging hormones.
"You know Brooke if you dropped that attitude of yours you might get luckier in getting whatever the hell you want, which no sane person can figure out by the way. But what I do figure is that if you don't get your skinny cheerleading ass out of my way this instant I just have to throw up all over your expensive designer clothes, which by the way I'm seconds from doing".
Instantly Brooke lets go of Haley's arm like she has been burned and moves faster than lightning, which allows Haley to make it to a booth just in time. However Brooke won't give up that easy and are right on Haley's tail waiting outside the booths for her to finish up.
Not long afterwards the entrance door opens and Brooke turns around to tell whoever is there to piss off only to find the person in question being Lucas.
"Broody last time I checked this was the girl's room."
"Knock it off Brooke. I don't have time for…"
"Yeah I've heard that about you but somehow there is always time for tutor girl isn't there!" Brooke interrupts folding her arms in front of her.
"Brooke…" Lucas tries but there is no stopping Brooke when she is on a roll.
"DAMN IT LUKE! SHE TRUSTED YOU! EVEN AFTER ALL THAT SHIT NATHAN PUT HER THROUGH, SHE TRUSTED YOU WITH HER HEART. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW RARE THAT IS FOR PEYTON? NO! CUZ IF YOU DID YOU WOULDN'T HAVE PAID HER BACK BY STEPPING ALL OVER HER."
"I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt her, things just happened".
"Things like Peyton finding tutor girl at YOUR HOUSE! WHERE DO YOU GET OFF STANDING HERE SAYING YOU'RE SORRY! YOU CHEATED ON HER LUKE AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE AND YOU CHOSE TO CHEAT ON PEYTON."
"I never…"
"You never WHAT! AT LEAST NATHAN STOOD FOR ALL THE SHIT HE DID WHILE YOU STILL ARE STANDING HERE PRETENDING TO BE THE GOOD GUY, WHICH MAKES YOU WORSE THAN HIM. I GUESS YOU'RE YOUR FATHER'S SON AFTER ALL!"
"FINE YOU WIN! I'M THE BIGGEST SON OF A BITCH WALKING THIS EARTH!" Lucas finally screams back before taking a calming breath and continuing in a normal tone of voice "What you don't seem to get is that I agree, I hate myself for the way things played out with Peyton but there is no way I could predict what was going to happen. I fell in love ok! Unfortunately my girlfriend wasn't the object of that love and yes I could have handled the situation better but you don't know the whole story not even half so BACK OFF! YOU THINK I LIKE THE WAY THINGS ARE! TRUST ME I DON'T! I hate seeing Peyton so hurt for something I've done but the fact remains it happened and we can stand here screaming at each other all day without changing that but right now I need to find Haley, so do you know where she is?"
"HOW DARE YOU ASK ME THAT AFTER WHAT WE JUST HAD OUT!"
"I'll tell you how I dare as you put it, SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND WHO JUST RUSHED OUT OF THE CLASSROOM FOR NOW APPARENT REASON!" X-which technically isn't a lie-X"and I'm worried ".
Just when Brooke is about to open her mouth for another tirade they hear the sound of puking coming from the closest booth.
"Never mind", Lucas murmurs before he goes to one of the sinks and wets some paper towels.
He then unceremonisly opens the door to the booth where the sound is coming from and as expected he finds Haley sitting there against one of the walls with closed eyes but he can tell she has been crying. He hunch down next to her and put a towel on her forehead while a teary eyed Haley lets her head rest on his shoulder. Just like that they sit when Brooke leaves unbeknownst to both of them.
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"Ssh everything is going to be fine", Lucas tries to sooth Haley while he is stroking his fingers over her lower back, a trick he learned that usually calms her, but not today.
"No it won't Luke, it really won't. All of this is just too much, I'm too tired, too confused, too scared of everything and I just want it to be over."
"Hales listen to me, you're the strongest person I know and if anyone can find the strength to get through this it's you. If I could I would do this for you but I can't and I need you to hang in there for a couple of more days and then it will be all over. Can you do that?"
"I honestly dunno. I thought everything was going to be better once I had made up my mind but all this waiting is killing me. It's almost worse knowing what you want and not being able to have it and move on than not knowing, I said almost" she adds when she sees Lucas's arched eyebrow. "Why is this happening Luke? Can you tell me that? I've always planned everything and guess what this isn't part of the plan and I HATE it. I like plans damn it….I hate being this powerless!"
"I know that better than anyone but sometimes things just happen and this is one of those things but I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, not cuz I'm religious or anything cuz I'm not but simply because everything that has happened in my life….hell even before I was born, had to have some reason. Therefore this got to too, I can't explain it's just the way it's, but even so I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"Everything since it's all kinda my fault"
"EXCUSE ME?"
"What I mean is I'm the one that did this to you"
"Ok first off no one did anything to me, I was a full, able and willing participant of this. Second I could have stopped it anytime but I didn't. Third I won't let you play the guilty card for something we are both to blame and lastly what is this I did this to you crap. You did NOT do anything to me I didn't want got it buddy!", by the time she has finished she is facing Luke with eyes blazing of fire without a trace of the earlier shed tears.
X-Talk about mood swings. Better watch out Scott, but I do like this Haley better than the earlier sad version-X
"Got it. Now come here"
Beyond that point there isn't much more talking being done and about ten minutes before their philosophy class is over they head back holding hands.
-----
Later that day Lucas and Haley find themselves back at Planned Parenthood but this time they are in a more comfy room furnished with a couch, a table and an armchair, were currently a brown haired sympathetic looking woman in her thirties is sitting.
"Hello I'm Holly and I'm guessing you're Ms James and Mr Scott?"
Both of them nod.
"Do you mind if I call you Haley and Lucas?"
"No that's fine", Haley answers for the both of them.
"The reason why I prefer to be on first name basis is that I find people feeling more comfortable, something that is important in my line of work"
"I bet"
"Now I guess you don't want to be here, but this session is mandatory because we need to know that no one is forcing Haley to do something she doesn't want to before we schedule the procedure. Normally I do part of this session with just the woman in question, so if you don't mind steeping out for a while Lucas"
Lucas immediately shoots Haley a panic filled look, remembering his last time alone in the waiting room and how uncomfortable it had made him feel. Haley in turn automatically grabs his hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.
"I don't mind having Luke with me"
"Well I prefer that he leaves so you can speak freely"
"Look Holly. Luke and I've been best friends as far back as I can remember and I've always and I mean always been able to tell him everything even at times when there has been no logical reason why I should have. Hell I even told him when I got my first period, to his big horror I might add. My point being I've always spoken freely in front of Luke and I don't plan on stopping now therefore there is no reason why he shouldn't stay. Furthermore he is in this just as deep as I'm cuz this decision will affect his life too and I have never in the past shut him out of something important and I WON'T start now when it comes to this kind of life alternating decision just cuz you prefer it" Haley resolutely answers.
"Very well he can stay"
"Gee thanks" Haley replies sarcasm event in her voice.
"There is no need for that Haley I'm just doing my job. You've no idea what some women tell me when they're alone in here and I just wanted to make sure you weren't one of them but clearly considering your history and your adamant defence of Luke I can see that isn't the case. Now do you mind telling me how you came into this situation?"
"The usual way, unsafe sex", Lucas answers.
"I can see sarcasm runs in…hmm…the relationship" Holly finishes off lamely.
"Hell yeah especially from Haley"
"Hey" Haley indignantly exclaims hitting him on his shoulder.
"See what I have to put up with?"
Holly has a hard time keeping her laughter down at the sight of a couple so at ease with each other despite their present situation, but in the end she manages to keep a professional tone of voice and expression.
"Well I was referring more to the circumstances for when said unsafe sex took place as in how long had you been together, was it a the spur of the moment thing etc. etc?"
"Technically we have been together for about a week so yeah I would say it was a spur of the moment thing. Actually it's kind of ironic seeing that I at the time was crushing on Luke's half brother Nathan"
"Yeah I just can't hear THAT enough" Lucas mutters.
After giving him a stern look, which shuts him up Haley continues
"Anyway Nathan's family hosted this basket party thingy during which he did something hurtful or so I thought at the time, so I ran out of there to Luke's mom's café, where Luke later found me sad and angry. Since he himself had a run in with the girl he wanted without the outcome he had been hoping for he was kind of sad too, but being Luke he tried to comfort me anyway and what can I say one thing lead to another and here we are. Well maybe not quite the day after we decided to blame it on our emotional state of mind and chop it up to a one night stand, since none of us at the time had any feelings for each other beyond friendship and we went on with our lives. Hell Luke even landed the girl later on, but I and Nathan never happened."
"But as time passed Haley started acting weird, going through emotions, one minute she could be sad only to be furious the next and for the first time ever I didn't know how to relate to her and our friendship really suffered from it. In fact when we weren't playing the avoiding game, we seemed to be at each other throats, so consequently we started hanging out less and less, which I was sad to see but I didn't push it since I no longer seemed to be able to be in the same room as Haley without having shouting match. Then about 2 weeks ago, somehow it feels longer, Haley waited for me after a game and told me she might be pregnant and we bought one of those home pregnancy tests and well the rest really is history.", Lucas continues were Haley left off.
"How did you take the news of the pregnancy Luke?"
"Bad, terrible even. You see my mom had me when she was 19 but my so called father chose not to be a part of my life even though he about four months later did that with my half-brother's mom , getting of topic here, anyway I think it is safe to say I reacted like an ass a.k.a. my dad. Hell I even asked Haley if it was mine"
"Hmmm. And how did that make you feel Haley?" Holly asks
"Betrayed, hurt, alone and eventually furious. I spent most of the following weekend alternating between being scared at being left alone with this huge burden, crying over a lost friend and plotting his slow and painful death".
"Ouch slow and painful death huh?"
"You better believe it"
"What happened for you to go from that to the couple I see today?" Holly quickly asks to prevent more bantering, which she is sure she won't survive without laughing.
"First thing Monday morning he apologized and I forgave him.
"How come you forgave him so fast?"
"The look in his eyes. He looked like a lost, scared boy, kinda what I was feeling minus the boy part and I just realized I didn't have to go through this alone anymore and I let him back in. I've always been a sucker for his eyes" Haley smiles.
"Something I'm eternally grateful for. I don't know what came over me when I found out about the pregnancy, I think my brain stop functioning the moment the positive answer came back and I was just plain and simple an idiot. The following weekend I spent in my room, trying to deal with the guilt at the same time as the news of the existence of a pregnancy. That Monday morning I just put everything I was feeling and was in that apology and I honestly don't know what I would have done if Haley hadn't seen that. After that we blew school off and spent the rest of the day at her place talking, solving things that had hanged between us ever since that night and found comfort in each other. And boy didn't that sound like a Hallmark card" Lucas says.
"Do you regret forgiving him Haley?"
"Not for a second, besides I kinda owed it to him after being a bitch for weeks, but to say I wasn't hurt that night would be a lie. But I got over it and we moved on just like friends do" Haley replies.
"Now to the though questions. How did you come to your decision?"
"Actually we took them separately but for some reason Haley took hers first and wouldn't tell me until I had made up my mind too. I think the decisive moment for me was when I found a photo album from when I was little and for the first time I really looked at the photos and almost immediately I noticed some details I hadn't seen before like how exhausted my mom looked, how I was constantly eating or crying and it kind of hit me what being a parent would mean to me and life as I know it. I mean becoming a dad now would probably mean me dropping out of high school, take some low paying job only to try to make ends meet, give up some of my dreams like trying to make it to the NBA and taking responsibility for another person. After realizing just that, I was a 100 sure I wasn't and still ain't ready for that. How can I take responsibility for someone else when I barely can for myself. I need more time to figure out who I'm before I become someone's dad. I know that might sound selfish and there is people out there saying I made the bed and now I must lay in it, but personally I think it would be more selfish to bring a baby into this world that neither partner is ready for"
"And you Haley?" Holly inquires.
"I was thinking along the same lines as Luke but for me that moment of clarity came when I saw this woman on the bus comforting or trying to comfort her baby son, who was screaming bloody murder. I just sat there watching how she got more and more desperate when the kid wouldn't shut up and the one thought that went through my head was throw the damn kid of the bus and that's when it hit me that it could be me in 7-8 months time and I suddenly felt I didn't want that. I'm not ready to be stuck in Tree Hill and plan my life around a baby, I want to try the spontaneous thing, be immature and goofy Haley for a while longer. Some day I want children sure but when I get them I want to be able to say they were longed for, have an education, a job and a stable economy. I want to have seen the world and tell them about it and to feel like I'm ready to start a new part of my life without mourning my old, which I would be if I went full term this time around. I still have so much I want to do and the fact is I'm nowhere near ready enough to become someone's mother"
"Just for the record are you hundred percent sure?"
"Yes", they both answer in unison.
"Ok then based on this session I will recommend we precede with the abortion as planned, but before I follow you to Dr Gold to schedule the procedure I want to go over what you might be going through afterwards. I say might as there is no right or wrong way of feeling, but generally women that have gone through an abortion can be divided into three groups. The first consists of women who feel relieved when it's all over and they can move on with their lives rather quickly, the second feel an emptiness and sadness at the thought of what could have been for example when they see a stroller outside. Here some more counselling sessions are needed to help the women mourn their lost but generally they also move on within six months- a year's time, Then there is the third group, which consists of women who sinks into a deep depression and regrets their decision. This is mostly women, who weren't as sure in their decision as they appeared to be and for these individuals of course extensive therapy is needed and years can go by before they get over it, if ever. And naturally all of this goes for you to Lucas. Another thing that is good to know is that your "normal" feelings Haley will run wild for a while after the abortion since it takes some time for the body to stabilize itself again" Holly stops and gives a reassuring smile before she continues "Any questions?"
"Not really. I think I'm prepared of what to expect but nonetheless I'm nervous"
"That is perfectly normal believe me. So if that is it, how about we go to Dr Gold and get that appointment set?"
Haley and Lucas nod and the three of them set off to Dr Gold's office to get the abortion scheduled and taking one step closer to the point of no return.
TBC
What did you think?
I don't know if this is how a pre-abortion counselling session goes, since I fortunately never been in the situation myself, but this is the way my goes, I mean it is called fiction for a reason right:-) Oh and the instruction in the end is taken from the net, don't remember the address now, but probably planned parenthood.
