No Longer Captain America?
(Iris POV)
We finally got out of bed and spent a few hours outside on the beach, again no one else was there the whole time. We are splashing each other in the water, we are both laughing. As we come back to our beach blanket I lay on my back, I am out of breath from laughing so much while also swimming back and as I do so Steve hoovers over me, his arms on each side of me, I give him a smirk before I wrap an arm around his neck and pull him down to my lips, I put my other hand on his face and stroke it softly. He puts one hand on the side of my head, through my hair while the other is on my hip/thigh. I feel him rub my shoulder tenderly, he stops kissing me and rests his forehead with mine, "come on, it's getting chilly." He softly whispers, I just nod and he helps me stand up.
We walk inside and I run my fingers through my hair and I feel sand all the way through it, "before we have dinner I need to shower." I say as I'm scratching the sand out, "you could use a shower yourself." I fluff his hair and sand comes out of his too, I giggle.
"Your probably right." He giggles back.
We walk into the bathroom and he looks in mirror, I go behind him and rub his shoulders and wrap my arms around his waist and rest my chin on his shoulder, gently give it a soft kiss, he smiles at me in the mirror. "You think I should shave my beard off? He asks.
"It's up to you...I think you look sexy with any look...but there is something extra sexy about the beard." I answer, stroking his beard softly, "I do love your hair like this...it's easier and fun to grab onto." I pull on it just a little to make my point, again he smiles at me. As I lower my head to kiss his shoulder again I notice blood marks all over his shoulders and back, "oh God Steve! Did I do that?" He turns his back just a little to see his back in the mirror.
"Uh...yes, that was you." He replies.
"Why didn't you tell me I made you bleed? I'm so sorry!" I can't believe I didn't notice the whole time we were at the beach!
"You've got nothing to apologize for...plus I didn't even notice...I was kind of preoccupied." He smirks at me in the mirror, I can't help smirk back but I still feel so bad!
"Didn't it sting in the water?" I ask gently stroking his back where the scratches are.
He just shakes his head no, I roll my eyes but at the same time blush from how wild we can get, especially last night! "Do you think we'll ever stop acting like animals?"
"I hope not." He gives me a sweet smile then turns around and kisses me.
While we are kissing he unstraps my bikini top while I'm pulling down his swim trunks, he runs his hands down my backside slowly to remove my bikini bottoms, he turns around to turn on the tub .We wait for it to fill up with hot water and he goes inside the tub and sits down, he pats for me to sit in front of him. I grin and he takes my hand so I don't slip and helps me sit in front of him with me between his legs and I lay against his chest. The water feels so good and I love laying against him. He puts body wash in his hands and begins washing down my arms and then washes/massages my shoulders and back. Soon later he bends my head back and gets my hair freshly wet and washes my hair with the shampoo, he massages my scalp and I have my eyes closed the whole time.
"What are we doing for dinner?" I ask with my eyes still closed.
"I am taking you out." He answers softly.
"We are? I thought we weren't going anywhere."
"Well, I think you've been stuck in cabins and cottages long enough and we have got to get out of this cottage sometime...and I would like to take my wife out to dinner." He replies giving my shoulder a soft kiss.I just smile, completely excited to go out with my man!
We go to a nice french restaurant, surprisingly and luckily no one recognized Steve, we both dressed as nice as we could. I have no idea what to order, everything is in french. "Are you ready to order?" Our waiter asks with a very strong accent and I'm a bit overwhelmed and was about to say something but Steve interrupts me and speaks perfect french, the man just smiles and took our menus, I'm completely in shock, I had no idea Steve knew french, it was so hot!
"I swear you still keep surprising me, I didn't know you spoke french! Especially that good." I say.
"Yeah, being in WW2 it was kind of a essential to learn it and a few members of my Howling Commando's troop spoke it, one was french and taught it to the rest of us, I'm actually pretty rusty." He explains.
"Well, you should be a ashamed of yourself." I tease, he chuckles, "What did you order me?"
"Trust me, I know what you like." He smiles, I have complete faith in him.
It suddenly dawns on me that I already heard Steve speak french before, he spoke it the night he saved me from Nick but at the time I didn't know it was him and it was so chaotic that I completely forgot all about it. We are eating and he indeed orders the right thing for me. It's so nice to have someone that knows me so well, to know what food I liked or disliked and I don't have to tell him. We ate mostly in silence, we will smile at each other and he'll take my hand and stroke it with his thumb every once in a while. Ever so often I'll notice other women looking at Steve and checking him out but he never took his eyes away from mine and never even glanced at the other women, they would give me angry/jealous looks and I just makes me smirk bigger, proud that he's mine. It was just a simple romantic dinner, we had dessert as well.
We soon leave and come back to the cottage, we are snuggling on the couch by the fireplace, just enjoying one another. "What's going to happen next? You know after we leave our honeymoon." I ask him with my head on his shoulder.
"...I don't know. I guess I have to figure out what I want to do." He answers softly.
"What do you mean?" I'm a bit confused.
"Well, now that I have you back and Ross is gone...I don't know what else to do..."
"Aren't going to continue being Captain America? I mean your not a fugitive anymore."
"...No...I have you now. I am not leaving you and putting you through that again."
"But Steve...it's who your are." I raise my head up to look at him...he's being serious!
"...Not anymore...you are all I care about now..." He spoke softly taking my hand.
"Steve that's very sweet of you to say but you can't stop being Captain America...I'm not saying it won't be hard...I'm always going to want you home and worry about you but...protecting people...doing the right thing is who you are and I don't you to lose that because of me."
"Iris, the second I found out Ross was Hydra I've had to put you second...and I am not going to do that anymore..."
"But you haven't...I have always known that everything you've been doing has been for me...for us" I put my hand on his chest, right at his heart.
"Really? So those 2 years hating me?"
"That was before I knew the truth...but now I know everything you did and everything you do is for me," I can tell there's something else going on. "What is it? There has to be something else that's making you do this."
He puts his hand over mine that's on his chest. "...I haven't been Captain America for over 3 years...yeah I have worked with the CIA and have taken down Hydra but...that was for you..." He responds softly, "I'm not worthy anymore to be called Captain America..."
"What are you talking about? Of course you are."
"No...the second I dropped the shield...I have made a lot bad choices that I can't come back from...I've killed, lied and hurt people...other then saving you and now taking down Hydra are the only good things I've done."
"You really think that?" It's heartbreaking seeing him self-doubt himself like this, he truly believes he's not worthy anymore...it just makes me what to cry for him. "What about that little girl on the ship? The one that literally looked up at you and knew you were her hero...you saved her and 20 other people and you first went there not knowing for sure if it was Hydra but you went anyways."
"How did you know about that?" He asked me a little shocked.
I sigh, "...you were dead for 4 months Steve...Natasha told me a lot stories...it was the only way to be close to you..." I told him softly. "Yes, you've made some mistakes...that just means your human...Captain America never left you...he just went away for a while." I grab his face with my hands so he has to look at me in the eyes, to know that I'm serious, "you are the most noblest and greatest man I have ever known Steve Rogers...I truly believe the world still needs YOU...and you will never be truly happy if you don't go back."
"You really think so?" He softly spoke after a few seconds.
"Absolutely." I softly brush his hair with my fingers.
"Thank you..." He smiles.
"I should be thanking you...for everything you've done for me...and actually considering not being Captain America for me..." I'm still stunned by him saying that!
"You do know that you can always change your mind...and I will be right there."
"Yes." I smile as I stroke his face again.
I pull his face to mine and kiss him, we kiss so tenderly and intimately. I pull him down while we are still kiss and bring him on top of me on the couch. We removes each other's bottoms and he slowly goes inside me. He is between my legs, they are bent in the air and spread a little so he goes deeper and every time he does my knees go higher and higher as I hold onto him as he's softly kissing my neck. I love making love on the couch because it sunk down more then the bed mattress and it feels like we were glued together. I grab his face again, forcing him to look at me, "I love you." I whisper and I don't even let him say it back before I pull his head down to bring my lips to his, I don't need to hear it by this point.
"I love you too." He whispers between kisses as he holds and strokes my cheeks with is thumbs. I smile, I guess I did still need and want to hear it after all. We wrap our arms around each other and we are both holding on so tight and we just continue getting lost inside each other.
This will be the last chapter for their honeymoon. I know they already talked a little bit about him not being Captain America anymore but I wanted to go even further with his inner doubts and struggles about being Captain America again. I hope you liked it!
