An Eerie Foretelling of Iminent Doom by Sakuya Rose

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I stood alone by the shore, faintly recalling the events of the evening. What had Rinoa said again?

--the past--

"Um, Squall, do you love me?" Rinoa asked, shyly.

"Whateva." I returned, with an eerie smile and wink.

"Squall, I'm getting the vibe that you don't take our relationship seriously."

"...ehh..."

"Fine, I'll go live with Cid, then!"

Rinoa then stormed off to contact the headmaster.

"Uhh...? What just happened? Why would... is there...?"

--end the past--

I still feel a little blown away by what happened. I mean, I know girls a sensitive, but, uh, did Rinoa just leave me for Cid? No, no. She's going to visit him and Edea because he's like a father to her.

The whole situation was just beyond my understanding. First of all, Cid and Edea live in a shack by the river, and it's not just any river, it's the red river. They call it that for ten reasons, but allow me to spare you my elaborating. Let me get one thing straight, I am not crazy, so there's no reason why Rinoa should've ran off just because I winked at her. People wink at others all the time... don't they? Well, not complete strangers, naturally, because that would sure make someone wanna remove themselves from your presence.

It was then that Quistis approached me.

"Hey, what's going on?" she asked.

"What do you mean, 'what's going on'? Nothing, of course! Would there be something goin--YOU KNOW, don't you! You don't have to play dumb with me, I know where you sleep!" I stopped right there because the words coming out of my mouth made me realize that I am pretty crazy. Now she'll want to get to the bottom of this for sure.

"Okay, see ya." she replied, and started in the other direction.

I felt taken aback in a couple different ways. But, nevertheless, I was happy she wasn't supsicious. Wait, she WASN'T? Are we talking about Quistis Trepe here? Isn't she supposed to be like, super catchy-ony to things? Yea, I'm sure of it, something's wrong with this picture. But, if I went after her and asked if she was really Quistis Trepe and not an imposter, do you think she might get fresh with me and pull out her whip? Women with whips are scary, and if I've learned anything from this thing with Rinoa, it's that women take things in the wrong way 24/7.

I started to head in the direction of the store to buy mood rings, when I realized I didn't have any gil. Oh, well, I suppose I can just go fight some enemie--OH WAIT, we're talkin' about Final Fantasy VIII here, aren't we. That means I have to go in someone's house and walk in circles until my SeeD rank goes up. Geez, how tedious.

Now that we're on that subject, I don't have a house. Well, from a certain point of view I might, but if you consider Garden as such, I left it at FH, and if it can be helped, I wouldn't like to return. I sleep in the Ragnarok, and every night those colour monsters appear but that's okay because with them comes new background music! YES! But man am I craving hot dogs right now.

Wait, hot dogs? Who named food 'hot dogs' anyway? That's retarded. This whole thing with Rinoa makes me want to buy a full course meal but oh yea, I don't have any gil, nor a place to run in circles. Frick it!

But you know, when you really live it out, Squall's life is pretty boring. So, like. I'm still a little bit in disbelief that Rinoa didn't know it was me, but I guess I rock pretty hardcore at acting.

"Zell, Selphie and I are going shopping, do you want to come?" Quistis inquired.

"HECK YA, if you'll buy me hot dogs. Though, in the Japanese version, it's bread. Will you buy me bread, Quistis?"

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THE END

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This story is dedicated to my friends Runi, Areku, and Benji, who helped me piece it together. It was lame, and it wins the new prize of being the least funny story I've ever written. I hope you laughed at it's patheticness. Thank you and good night.