Chapter 4

Regret

I dreamt of her, of that fateful day when I had started to hate the rain…

It had rained that day also, but it had not mattered to me, since she had been besides me in her bright coat, laughing and joking under the umbrella I held. She always wore bright colours – yellow or white and her soft brown hair would curl around her face when she was happy. She had been happy that day, too – it was as if she had forgotten that her life was in danger, that I was hired to protect her from the Yason, since she wanted to testify before court against some high ranking clan bosses, maybe even against the Ice Queen herself.

The moment Reith had entered my office, I had fallen in love with her, and, on this rainy day under the colourful umbrella, I had forgotten about everything but her, as well. I heard only her laughter, and not the car that suddenly stopped next to us with screeching brakes; I had looked into her big, innocent and beautiful eyes, but had noticed too late the men that suddenly surrounded us – her scream woke me up, though, and I grabbed her hand tighter and told her to run, flinging the umbrella aside.

She nodded, trusting me like always, and we ran, but then, suddenly, someone called her name and she stopped, her warm, slim fingers slipping out of mine as she turned around towards the voice despite my protest. She cried as the shot hit her and I knelt down on the dirty pavement next to her – her eyes were wide open, her coat soaked red with blood. A sharp pain went through my left shoulder and I bent forward over her body with a cry of rage - the next thing I knew was the sound of police sirens, incoming and escaping cars – then Hugo was standing beside me and was telling me something. I couldn't hear him, since the echo of the shot still was in my ears, together with the last words Reith had spoken to me, before she died and in my dream, her pale corpse kept repeating them over and over:

"Mano, I'm sorry… Kill him and put an end to all of it… For me…"

I turned around then, and saw Orha, the gun still in his hand…

xxx

My head hurt worse than usual when I woke up and my vision was blurred. However, I could make out the outlines of–

"Reith?" I wanted to ask, but had to clench my teeth as a burning pain spread over my forehead.

"I'm sorry – I know that the whiskey burns, but I need to treat the wound…"

"Damn Captain, why didn't you follow us?" a dark voice enquired next to me, not in the least bit polite.

"That's not the right tone!" someone scolded.

My sight finally readjusted and I realized that I was in my office, sitting in my chair. Eonis, Sergeant Haren and Serina were staring down at me, worried – or angry, as it was in Haren's case.

"How did I get here?"

"They threw ya out onto the pavement like some bag of trash..." Haren had his fists balled. "For a moment I thought that you had kicked the bucket and that we would kick it too, with all the Yason scum standing in the doorway! That Orha swine just told us to leave, though… It was so damn humiliating to run away, but since you and the lil' kid were hurt and I wasn't feeling great either, we hadn't much of a choice…" For the first time I noticed that Haren's face was a mixture of blue and green.

"Officer Azel was hurt?"

"That damn Turibo nearly broke his arm – he's at the hospital…"

"I see…" I felt sorry for the young officer, but secretly hoped that the whole matter would convince him to switch to another section.

"Mano!" The door to my office was flung open with force and Hugo stormed in. His surprised glance fell on Serina and I felt her stiffen next to me as he addressed her:

"Who are you?"

"I…"

"She's my case," I answered in Serina's stead while carefully examining my forehead – next to an open gash over my eyebrow, a lump was building on my skin.

"Everyone out of here, except for Calintz." Hugo's voice was so hard and sharp that my head began to hurt even more. "Eonis, take care of the lady here."

Haren was reluctant. "Major Agreian, we–"

I silenced him with a gesture of my hand. "It's alright. Try to get some rest – I'll see you tomorrow."

As the door closed, I braced myself for the lecture my friend would give me. To my surprise, Hugo only slowly advanced towards me and studied my face carefully.

"Did you only get hit on the head?"

"I think so…"

"Good." His fist hit my jaw – strong enough to make me wince.

"What were you thinking, taking on the case of a total stranger without telling me? You had Eonis lie for you, then you stormed with two of our men, one of them a new officer, into the most dangerous and off-limit place in Notia!" he hissed, more enraged than I'd ever seen him. "Don't tell me you had a good reason!"

"I just wanted to–"

"Captain Calintz!" It was seldom that Hugo addressed me with my official title.

"No… It was too rash of me…" I admitted, massaging my hurting jaw.

He laughed without humour and started to wander about the room. "Rash, yes? Your little "rash act" will be in every newspaper tomorrow: 'Mad cop storms famous night club!' The Chief will have some questions–"

"I'm sorry, Major Agreian." I knew that I had disappointed my friend and couldn't look him straight in the eye. My throbbing head made it kind of impossible to do anything straight, anyway.

My unusual meek excuse seemed to calm down Hugo and his stern expression relaxed. With a sigh, he went to the wash basin in the corner of the room and came back with a wet cloth. "Here. Sorry for hitting you – you already look beaten up enough. You could have gotten killed in there, Mano!"

I just shrugged.

Hugo regarded me with despair. "What were you doing in the Venus Fly Trap? Who's the woman that was just in your room and what case were you talking about?"

"She came to me because she needed protection from the Yason…"

"The Yason? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I know that you are obliged to give any information concerning the Yason to the Chief – you would have been held accountable for what I did today…" I told him truthfully, although I knew that even the truth would not be able to save me from some kind of punishment. I had clearly gone too far this time, although, in my opinion, it hadn't been nearly as far enough. I wasn't so reckless asto tell Hugo this, though.

"I didn't want to cause you any problems…" I told him instead.

"But you already did, Mano. By tomorrow, the whole town will speak about the brawl in the club!"

"I take the whole responsibility for it. Sergeant Haren, Officer Azel and Eonis only followed my orders."

"I will take your words into account, my friend. However, I fear that I'll have to suspend you from your post for a while. Your gun and you badge, please." Hugo said, his voice clearly pain stricken.

"What? But what about Serina? She's in danger and–"

"Don't worry. I have a meeting with the Chief in twenty minutes concerning your little escapade, but I won't mention her. "

"You'd do that?"

"Mano, as your supervisor and even more as your friend, I was responsible for Reith's death as well – I'll never forgive myself for letting you and her down back then and for comingtoo late with backup. I will not let you down again. I'll take care of Miss Serina's case, personally."

Reluctantly, I handed over my gun.

"Please go home and sleep, Mano..." Hugo told me before he left the room. "I'm worried about you…"

As the door closed, it seemed to me like the chance to finally get revenge had closed with it, as well. Feeling miserable, I reached out for the whiskey Serina had left on the table. Before I could take a sip, though, there was a knock at the door and Eonis stormed into my room, pale as death.

"Captain Calintz – we have a problem. Serina is gone. She went to the restroom to freshen up and suddenly disappeared! The Major told me to keep an eye on her until he came back from the meeting… What am I to do?"

Although my tired, heavy head tried to force me to stay in my chair, the idea that Serina was roaming through the streets all alone made me jump up immediately.

"I'll go after her."

Serina was sitting on the side of a street not far from Lester Department, shivering in the cold, rainy evening in her thin clothes. I approached her and laid my coat around her slender shoulders.

"Captain Calintz…" She looked up, surprised and slightly ashamed.

"Why did you run away?" I asked, not nearly as reproachfully as I wanted to sound – she already looked frightened and sad enough.

"Because… because you were suspended because of me. Everyone overheard the discussion you had with the Major… I'm so sorry – everything is my fault…"

"No, it was my own decision to confront the Yason in the club. Don't worry about your case, either -- Hugo will personally take care of it from now on…"

"No!"

Serina's vehement reaction confused me.

"Don't you trust him? He's a good cop."

She tried to calm down. "I know, but I trust you more. Captain Calintz, I– I'm afraid…" Suddenly, she was in my arms for the second time that day, pressing against my body in a desperate, tight embrace.

"It's the city – it frightens everyone…" I told her. Her hair was soft against my face, smelling sweetly of flowers.

I could feel her smiling against my shoulder. "But not you…"

Serina was so warm in my arms, so calming. The last time I had felt this way had been with Reith and it was her that was on my mind right now, too:

"Serina – I'm not who you think I am… I am no hero – I once failed protecting someone and I–"

"I know… Eonis told me about it." Serina interrupted me and paused for a moment to study my face with a trusting and smiling gaze, looking prettier than ever. Then she whispered:

"To me, you look like the kind of man who wouldn't make the same mistake twice, though."

She had me then – indeed I swore to myself that she wouldn't have to share Reith's fate and since I didn't know of any other safe place, I took her with me to my flat.

xxx

My apartment didn't look anybetter than my office – it was dusty, littered with newspaper articles dealing with the Yason and the occasional empty bottle. The homeiest thing in the room was probably the withered pot plant in the corner.

"You do not spend much time at home, right?" Serina asked me. I presumed that it was a nice way to tell me that my room looked horrible.

I shrugged. "No. If Hugo... I mean, if Major Agreian wouldn't throw me out on the weekends, I'd live in my office."

She took a place on the tiny spot on the sofa that wasn't littered with garbage and regarded me shyly. "Would your life be different if someone was waiting for you? Have you ever thought about settling down, living peacefully with a family?"

I had to chuckle. It always sounded so easy when women said such things – Reith had been the same, dreaming of a safeand peaceful life that just the two of us would lead. And maybe, for just a second, I had dreamt her dream with her. But that was the past – reality had destroyed not only this dream, but also my belief that something like a "safe" life was possible at all.

"You cannot live peacefully in Notia as long as the Yason are polluting the streets. You should know this best yourself. This city is no place for falling in love and settling down."

"But you did love!" Serina became livelier now. "You loved this Reith. She was very pretty – I saw her picture on your desk."

"The Yason took her from me – they took her from me like they took the justice away from this city. They cannot give back either of them, but at least we can make sure that they don't take more."

Serina averted her gaze. "And how can we do it?"

"First I have to convince Hugo that he has to give back the case to me…"

"Do you think that he will listen to you? You took me with you and–"

I grinned. "I don't have to tell him that, right? Let him just believe that you have disappeared."

Serina looked at me, surprised. "You would lie to your best friend for me?"

"If you ask if I would lie to him because of a woman, no. But right now it is better for him if he doesn't know too much off the things I'm doing and will have to do. I don't want to drag him into the case. You could say I'm lying to him because he is my friend… And now I have to go."

I turned towards the door.

"Wait, Captain Calintz!" Serina followed me. "Thank you – for everything." She stood on her tiptoes and gave me a light, soft kiss on the lips – I remembered Reith doing this, and how I'd always scoopher up in a passionate embrace then… However, I couldn't let any feelings, neither old nor new, cloud my mind now.

"Call me Mano," I told Serina, before I left.