A/N: Hola! Glad you liked the last chapter – wasn't sure what the response was going to be, so thanks for all your awesome reviews! If you read "Because of You", I have decided to continue and add more…steaminess. Stay tuned.
One of my reviewers asked about the doctor's diagnosis of Mally and asking if he should be asking if she's depressed. Thanks for your suggestion! You must have a much better doctor than I did – he asked me if I was depressed when I went in for the same reason, but then again, I'm an "adult" (yeah, right!), or so they say, so maybe it's different for kids. You'll see at the end of this chapter what Nick and Sara decide. Thanks for reviewing – I know you don't hate my story. : )
Nick and Sara woke up in each other's arms the next morning, Nick still behind his wife. Gentle kissing and caressing turned into a tender love-making session as they re-affirmed their need for each other. They made love again in the shower, a little more passionately and roughly this time, recharging each other for the day. Nick was to go into work today, and Sara would stay home. But it was finally Friday, and they would both get to recuperate tomorrow together with their family.
Since they had fallen asleep so early, the whole family got up rather early. Sara decided to give the twins the bath they didn't get last night in the morning, something they both protested, seeing as it was not the normal routine. Nick and Sara tried to keep as consistent a schedule with the twins as possible, but sometimes life got in the way. Nick dropped Mally off at school on his way to work, still looking down.
"You alright sweetheart?" Nick asked his daughter as he pulled up to the front door of Las Vegas High School, stealing a glance at her.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She muttered, both knowing she was lying. It was her typical teen answer when she didn't want to talk about it.
"You sure?" He asked her again, giving her a parental look. Mally glared at him, as if to say, 'You know it's something, but drop it'. "If it's about last night, don't worry. Parents disagree sometimes, and we're going to talk about it."
"What? Like you did in the shower this morning?" She called him on it. "There are other people in this house who wake up early and have ears, you know!" Mally was mortified to hear them and had done her best to cover her ears. A few years ago, Mally had walked in on them getting physical, but not actually having sex, which had put a strain on her relationship with both adults. Nick had thought he and Sara had been especially careful since then, but they really needed to show how much they loved each other this morning. But that wasn't a good excuse for the grossed-out seventeen year old.
"Sorry." He apologized, not knowing what to say. "We…uh…yeah, I'm really sorry about that. We'll be more careful."
"Whatever." Mally reached for the door handle, hearing her father call that he loved her, before she slammed the door shut.
CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI
Sara had laid out clothes for the twins on their beds this morning, hoping to get them a little more independent. She'd see in a minute how well they did when they came out. Sara walked out to the kitchen and went to the fridge to get the twins' breakfast, when she saw the mess of Jello on the floor from last night. Nick had been in too much of a rush this morning to clean it up, so Sara sighed and got a wet cloth. She replayed the incidents from last night in her head; how she'd been so upset when Nick spanked Mally; how she'd rushed away with her daughter; how understanding and caring Nick had been when he found her; and how tender and loving he had been this morning.
She took a deep breath and allowed herself a small smile. Sara realized she'd really been worked up yesterday and may have frightened the kids and her husband. Bailey had acted a little different that morning in the bath, eyeing her mom a little bit, wondering in her three year old mind what her momma was thinking. She'd looked at Nick a little differently too, but she definitely didn't seem more afraid of him than before. Bailey knew she'd crossed a line, and she wondered just what her daddy was about. He'd given both twins a big kiss and a hug before he left, so she knew nothing had changed. Her daddy still loved her. Sara realized they'd need to talk to her together now, though, after she and Nick had discussed whether or not this would be a punishment used in this house anymore.
CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI
"Aidan, you got it on aw wrong!" Bailey told her little brother. He had his tightie whities on and was adjusting his shorts because they felt kinda funny. They were on backwards, as his sister observed.
"Hewp me!" He giggled as he looked down at his clothing. Bailey took his shorts down and moved them the other way around on the floor.
"Hoad on to my shouders." She instructed him, like her mommy told her sometimes. Aidan did so and carefully worked his feet into the holes, trusting his little sister. He pulled them up all the way and assessed his outfit, now convinced it was alright. Aidan then looked hopelessly at his red t-shirt sitting on his bed. It didn't even have any pockets on the front, so he had no idea how he was going to get it on right.
Bailey had shunned the clothes her mother set out and again went to the closet to pick out her own outfit. Dressed in just her panties and undershirt, she pulled out a yellow shirt and pink capris. When she got back, her brother was holding his shirt upside down, eyeing it curiously.
"Do you need hewp again?" She asked him.
"Yes, Baiwey."
Bailey sighed and took the shirt from him. Boys were just so clueless. They didn't even know how to match things right. Observing something her father had done a few times for them, she quickly identified the side with the tag, and set the shirt face down on the carpet.
"There. Craw into it." She pointed. Aidan dropped to the floor and laid down, slowly creeping towards his shirt. The little boy slowly worked his arms into the shirt then kind of sat up and let it fall down on his body.
"Finished!" He announced, as Bailey was just finishing putting on her own outfit.
"Wait! Wet's go down togever!" She told her brother, wanting to make their mommy proud. Plus, she thought her mom still might need a little bit of cheering up. She'd heard her mom in the shower this morning, and it sounded like she and daddy were crying together. It sounded like she had gotten a boo-boo and maybe daddy was helping her fix it. But then it sounded like he got hurt too, because she heard him moaning. They looked happy in the kitchen, though.
"Otay." He waited patiently for his sister, and then they walked out, hand in hand.
Sara was just throwing away the last of the Jello mess when she heard the twins coming down the stairs carefully. She'd managed to hear a bit of their conversation since they left the door open and they hadn't learned how to control their voices yet.
"Tada!" Bailey announced as they entered. Sara was pleased to see that all their clothes were actually on right, and shook her head to see that Bailey had changed the items she'd set out. Yellow and pink didn't exactly match, but it would work. Her tastes were improving, and Bailey thought she was the next Ralph Lauren.
"Don't you look beautiful!" She complimented her children, crouching down to their eye level. "And you did it all by yourself! I'm so proud of you!" Sara held out her arms, and they both gave her a big hug.
"Are you aw better now, momma?" Bailey asked her mother. Sara's heart skipped a beat, knowing that her daughter was really concerned about how she was doing. She got a little teary-eyed, and choked them back, because she knew little kids didn't understand happy tears yet.
"Yes, I am much better now." She smiled back at them as she pulled away. "But Bailey, you have to understand I wasn't upset because of what you did, daddy and I just had a little disagreement."
"Disagweemit?" She tried to understand.
"Yes." Her pronouncement was good enough. "Sometimes mommies and daddies do that. But what you did still wasn't okay. We don't throw tantrums and push to get what we want."
"Otay, momma. I'll twy." She promised her mother.
"Good." Sara's eyes lit up as she tickled both of her children and chased them over to the table, where she had their cereal bowls waiting, a cup of milk to the side for them to pour on. The first time mother helped them pour the milk onto their Cheerios and Wheaties, and ate a piece of toast along with them, chatting happily about the day to come.
CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI
"So you have mono? That sucks!" Mally told her best friend at lunch that day. Natalie's mother had called the school and arranged half days for her daughter. She'd be leaving at about 11:30 each day, right in the middle of lunch, which gave the two seniors just a few minutes to talk.
"Yeah, it blows. I'm so pissed about it. I have to keep my grades up to get into Stanford."
Mally cringed every time her friend mentioned 'the S-word'. She was seriously sick of hearing about the Ivy League, but it was all Natalie ever worried about. Mally thought it must be pretty boring worrying about school all the time. Well….that's kind of what she did, but she sucked at it, unlike Natalie. She decided to change the subject to the drama in her life.
"Oh my God, you'll never guess what happened last night! Sara has lost her friggin' mind!"
Natalie's eyes lit up a little. She always loved to hear about Mally's family drama. Sadly, they did like to make fun of Sara a little bit. Mally did get along with her now, but she was still a stepmother, so she was still the brunt of some of their jokes.
"Bailey was throwing a fit, being a brat, you know, so my dad spanked her, and she totally deserved it. Sara goes all postal on him, rips Bailey out of his arms, and takes her upstairs. That was the last I saw her that night."
"Geez, what is up with her? Is she a horrible mother or something?"
"Sometimes." Mally semi-boasted. These days, their conversations were about whose life sucked more, which was somehow entertaining.
"And what's worse, I heard them making up this morning in the shower."
"Nasty!" Natalie made a disgusted face. "That is so revolting. Why do parents do that?"
"I don't know. She's such a freak sometimes." Mally told her friend, causing her to laugh. Mally felt a little sick inside, laughing at Sara's expense. In all fairness, she was a pretty good mom, with her faults like everyone else. She hadn't told Natalie about Sara's abusive past, not wanting to go that far into her privacy. Mally knew she was being unfair gossiping, but something in her warped seventeen year old mind made it funny and interesting. These days, it seemed she had to say or do more and more to keep Natalie entertained. She could feel they were growing apart.
One of the teachers walked up to their table and told Natalie that her mother was here to pick her up. Natalie sighed and started to get up.
"Time for my afternoon nap!" Natalie said in a silly voice, like she was a little girl.
"Bye, Nat. See you tomorrow." Mally told her. Natalie waved over her head as she took off for the door. Mally sighed and looked around her. She was all alone. Again.
CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI
Later that day, Nick Stokes was getting ready to go home, freshening up in the locker room, just as Gil Grissom was coming in for night shift. He had just come from home, where he'd checked on Natalie, who had been working a little bit on homework when he left.
"How's Natalie doing?" Nick asked his long-time friend. He hadn't seen her lately because of her mono, and she'd been so caught up in school work to hang out much with Mally.
"She's taking it a day at a time." Gil sighed. "She'll come home and sleep for about four hours, then start again on her work. I think she'll be fine, though." He admitted. Gil knew that since Natalie was so close to Stanford that she would never let it go. When she tasted something, she went for it, just like him.
"Did they say how long it would last?" Nick grimaced.
"They don't really know. It depends on the person. Hopefully not too long. We have one very unhappy teenager on her hands right now."
"Tell me about it." Nick muttered, sitting on the bench.
"Are you having trouble with Mally?" Gil could tell he was really concerned, so he took a seat next to his colleague and friend.
"I don't know if she told Nat or not. I assume she did. But we just put her on medication for depression and anxiety."
"No, I had no idea." Gil gaped. "The girls haven't been together as much, so I haven't seen her in probably a few weeks. She's really not happy?"
"Terrible. School's been getting her down a lot. Chemistry." He smiled, knowing that Gil would find the same irony he did. The four parents lived for science, and Mally simply detested it.
"Well, maybe Natalie could help her. She's in AP right now. I know you and Sara have tried, but maybe having someone her age explain it."
"I'm sure they've thought of that already. Probably didn't work."
Truthfully, Nick didn't know if Mally had asked her friend to help her. He hadn't heard anything about getting help from Natalie, but he knew Mally probably didn't tell him everything.
"Plus she's really tired now. It probably wouldn't help the situation."
"Yeah…well I'll ask Nat about it. Maybe when she's feeling up to it." Gil suggested. He hated that he rarely saw Mally nowadays. He'd need to have a talk with Natalie about making sure school didn't take over her life, like he let work do sometimes. He'd missed out on a lot of important things in his life until he met Catherine, and she'd shown him what it was like to really live. Natalie needed to experience that too, and he hoped she wasn't pushing her friends away.
CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI
That night when Nick got home, he pulled Mally aside after dinner. He took her out to the porch swing, throwing his arm casually behind her on the bench as the swung. Mally was just staring straight ahead, knowing he was in one of those talking moods, but she wasn't going to spill until he asked something. She had a lot of stuff going on, so who knew what he sniffed, and she wasn't about to tell him all her teenage secrets.
"I talked to your Uncle Gil today." Nick started simply. Mally sighed and crossed her arms, leaning back. What did Uncle Gil know?
"We were talking about our girls." Nick smiled, and stroked her hair a little bit. "We talked about getting you help with school." Nick fished, hoping she would tell him something, but she didn't take.
"Have you ever asked Natalie to help you?"
Mally let out an incredulous sigh. Ask her friend for homework help? Did he think she had no dignity left? Mally knew it would sound weird that she didn't want to ask her friend for help, but that's just the way it was. Friends were for giggling, hanging out, and gossiping, not helping with chemistry. Natalie was her relief from school.
"Dad…She's trying to get into Harvard. She wouldn't have time to tutor me."
"Mal, she's your best friend. Why wouldn't she…"
"She's not my best friend!" Mally snapped at her father, and then wished she hadn't said that. The truth was, they had been drifting apart somewhat. They were still good friends, but it wasn't the same. Natalie was all into the Ivy League and school, and Mally was perfectly happy staying nearby for college. They were on two totally different tracks this last year of high school. And the truth was, she really didn't have a best friend right now. Her senior year was supposed to be her best year ever, but it didn't feel like it.
"I mean…I don't think she'd want to."
Nick stayed silent for a few minutes. He remembered back when he was in high school, growing apart from certain friends he'd had since he was a little. It was very uneasy to say the least. With the promise of college ahead, there were a lot of changes looming for the Stokes family.
"Well, how do you know if you don't ask?" Nick pointed out, trying to sound logical to his daughter. He knew she had a warped mind sometimes.
"It's complicated." She muttered, not wanting to explain all the high school cliques and hierarchies to him.
"Well…just think about it alright?" Nick requested of her, ruffling her hair a bit.
"I will." She told him, though she wasn't sure she would give it any more thought at all. Nick leaned over and kissed her head. He knew that at this stage in her life everything was blown way out of proportion. Things that mattered a big deal right now would mean nothing in a few years; but to her, it was her whole world. Being a teen was tough.
CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI
That night in bed, Nick and Sara were preparing themselves for some big conversation, if they could resist each other for a few more minutes. At the moment, their family was at a crossroads. Mally had become a handful, which had never before been the case in her life, and with two toddlers, the trio was getting tough to manage. They knew they had great kids, but times were tough right now. The two parents had been disagreeing at length lately about how to raise them, punctuated by last night's events. Nick took a more strict, no-nonsense approach to raising the kids, though he was still so caring and sweet with them. Sara, dare they say, was a bit more of a pushover. Bailey was starting to take advantage of her, and Nick didn't want to stand for it.
"So…" Nick started, not knowing where to begin, as they both sat pretzel-style on the middle of the bed facing each other. Sara laced their hands together and moved them back and forth a bit, making Nick smile. With all this going on, they had to remember they were all human; they all needed to keep it light and not take things too seriously.
"So, Bailey seemed alright today." Sara admitted. "She wasn't afraid of you or anything." The mother had been afraid that Nick had done irreparable harm to their relationship, but she found it not to be the case.
"Well, good. I thought she'd get the point." Nick smiled at Sara, knowing she still didn't like the idea of him spanking the kids on even rare occasions. He cleared his throat before continuing, because he knew she wanted an explanation.
"I only spanked Mally a handful of times growing up." He started to explain. "And never for the same reason. I did it once when she lied to me, disobeyed me, was rude to me, disrespectful to her teacher, and once when she almost ran out in front of traffic." Nick rattled off, remembering every occasion he resorted to this type of discipline. It was not something he took lightly, and didn't think Sara quite saw that. "I only use it as a last resort, for major things. She learned her lesson, because she never did it again. Well…she sometimes has a mouth, but what kid doesn't?"
Sara sighed, seeing his point.
"She's not scarred for life, Sara. She's fine. I mean…right now she's having some problems, obviously, but…she'll be fine."
Sara paused before explaining her side.
"I was hit almost weekly up until my father died." She started, breaking Nick's heart right off the bat. "I can't tell you how scared, and completely unloved I felt every time he hit me. It was degrading, demeaning, and damaging to me. And I don't think any child should ever have to experience that, even to the smallest and rarest degree. I see your point…but I don't want you doing it."
Nick stroked the back of her hands with his thumbs, still clasped between them.
"Sara, child abuse is totally different from occasionally spanking them for disciplinary reasons."
Sara shook her head.
"It's still hitting. We're trying to teach them not to hit and push to get what they want, and so we hit them to get what we want? How hypocritical is that? Nick, I don't want our children being hit for any reason." Sara said, looking him straight in the eye. She tried to look strong, but Nick could see the frightened little girl inside her again. How could he ever subject his children to something she so strongly opposed?
"Sara, if that's the way you feel…I would be a horrible husband for doing it. I don't want you to feel that way ever again, or be reminded of it. We'll find other ways to deal with Bailey."
Sara smiled at Nick, elated that he understood and was willing to compromise. She released their hands and grabbed both sides of his face, kissing him passionately. Their lips worked hungrily against each other as Nick began to scoot them up the bed to the pillows, kissing all the way. They came to rest facing each other, Nick running his hand up and down her arm gently.
"Now about Mally." He started. "The doctor said it would be a month before the meds start working. Do you think we should take her to counseling?"
Nick had always thought of counseling as something for really screwed up kids with horrible parents, or traumatic childhoods. Mally had been through a lot, but he would never think of her as troubled. It was taking a lot for him to consider taking her to a therapist.
"I don't know, Nick." She whispered. "You know her best, but she doesn't seem like herself, from what I can tell."
"My gut's telling me to take her." Nick admitted, turning up his mouth a little bit. He knew this would be tough for Mally to digest too.
"Then take her. Go with your instincts. You have good ones." She told him. Nick leaned over and began kissing his wife again, and things quickly turned heated. Sara laughed, but got a little red-faced, when he told her about Mally overhearing them. They'd just have to be more careful. As they made love, they swallowed each other's moans as they brought each other to a exhilarated bliss.
