Mally had been going to counseling for a good two weeks now, and had squeezed almost five sessions in. Her dad had been right – it was making her feel better. Mally knew her father didn't expect her to tell him everything – no sane teenager would – and so she appreciated the fact she could share all her secrets with this stranger. It was somehow comforting. Those who don't know you can't judge you so much. They don't know what you're like, and you don't ever have to face them again or answer for your secrets you told them. It was like someone to heave all your troubles on and they'd never complain or punish you.
In her talks with her counselor however, Mally started to have an itch she hadn't scratched in about seven years. Her mother had been brought up. Carolyn, her birth mother, had abandoned Mally and Nick when she was about two, and headed off for New York to get a dancing job. They hadn't heard from her since, apart from cards she sent each year at Mally's birthday and Christmas. The cards had strangely stopped this year, however, which made Mally wonder. Had she given up? What was she up to? What was her life all about? Does she have any other kids now? Is she married? Her counselor had convinced her that she needed to bring this up with her father. Mally was afraid to – not afraid of her father, but afraid of hurting him. She knew her mother was still an open wound that Nick tried to leave alone, but it was always there.
"If you're not in your room by the time I count to three, there will be no TV tonight!" Came Nick's firm warning to his youngest daughter. Mally had just come to him asking to talk, and by the way she asked, it sounded serious. Bailey had picked her normal horrible time to misbehave. Handing out a punishment and her actually accepting it were two totally different things. The girl was stubborn as a mule.
Mally sat patiently in her room while she waited for her father to take care of Bailey. The little booger. Mally couldn't believe the way she acted sometimes. She was the total opposite of herself as a young child. She wondered how different she would be if she had her mother growing up.
"One…two….three."
Mally heard Bailey screech as Nick picked her up and marched her to her bedroom. He made her sit on her bed, and threatened there'd be more trouble if she moved. She heard her sister sobbing from the next room as Nick closed the door.
"Sorry, baby. Bailey was acting up again." Nick sat on his bed with his Mally. His first-born, and one of the four loves of his life. He never thought he could love any creature as much as he loved Mally, but when Bailey and Aidan made their debut, his heart was stuffed full, but in a very good way.
"That's okay."
Nick patted the hand that was rested on her leg in support. He could tell she wanted to bring up something important and that she was nervous about it. Somehow he knew that it was about her mother, because she never acted like this unless she was the subject.
"I've been talking to my counselor, you know." She started, fidgeting nervously. Her dad's caring gaze comforted her, and she could continue knowing he'd support her no matter what. "And we talked about…my mother. I mean, Carolyn, my mother, not Sara."
"I understand." He nodded, waiting for her to continue.
"And…I, we." She stumbled. "I think I want to try to find her." Mally finally blurted, feeling her face turn red. What would her father think? Would he hate her? She looked down at her hands in case his face was disappointed.
Nick had to take a few seconds to digest what she'd just said. She wanted to find Carolyn. She wanted to meet her. Carolyn? He didn't know if he could handle seeing her again, let alone being supportive of Mally meeting her. The woman was a nightmare the last he heard of her, which was fifteen years ago. Though he was concerned about what his reaction would be, he was more concerned about Mally. He didn't want her heart being broken. Nick had no idea what Carolyn would do or say. That was an unknown. He didn't want her heart to break again.
"Mal…"
"I know you don't think it's a good idea." She started to backtrack, and she rambled before Nick gently grasped her chin and turned it to face him.
"Mal, you didn't let me finish." He stopped her, and she smiled a bit. Nick released her chin and took her hands this time instead.
"I know what I think about Carolyn, but we had this discussion back when you were ten, remember? Back when you found those cards? And we decided that you had a right to want to know about her." He paused, the next part difficult for him to say. "If you want to meet her, then that's what we'll do. We'll do our best to track her down, okay? If that's what you really want."
Mally was so touched she could cry. She knew how much her father despised Carolyn, but he was willing to face her again for his daughter.
"Thank you, daddy." She sniffled, and she practically dove in for a hug. Nick let her cry a little bit, stroking her hair gently, when they heard the door creak open. A timid looking brown eye poked in from about three feet up. The dark brown hair was curled and mussed.
"Daddy, can I pway now?"
"I don't recall saying you could come out of your room. Get back on your bed right now." He ordered Bailey calmly. The door shut quickly and they heard the scurry of her little feet until they disappeared, followed by the light spring from her mattress. They both chuckled at her.
"How did you handle me alone at that age?" Mally smiled, wiping her eyes.
"Ohhhh, you weren't like that at all." Nick told her, standing up. "You were a little angel for the most part, unlike your Highness next door."
Mally smiled, but she had to admire her sister's steely reserve. She'd actually waited until her father counted to three. He'd counted to three! As a young child, Mally thought the world would end if he got to three. Bailey was testing him constantly, trying to see just how much she could get away with. The girl had some guts, Mally had to admit. She also knew that Bailey would have been over Nick's knee a long time ago if it was up to him. She'd made him count to three and disobeyed him, which he never tolerated with Mally, or any of his children, but he'd have to deal with it a different way. He'd made a promise to Sara and to Bailey, and he was a man of his word.
"I need to go deal with Miss Precious right now." He rolled his eyes, putting his hands in his pockets. "But I'll call some people tomorrow and we'll get started, okay? We'll figure this out." Nick half-smiled at her, knowing she was fast growing up. She was making her own decisions, and he'd done his best to guide her to the right ones all her life. And this was her first major decision on her own. Mally wanted to know her birth mother.
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Natalie sighed deeply and felt her insides turn to brick as she sealed up the envelope. Her application to Stanford. She'd worked hard her entire high school career – no, her entire life – and it was all culminating into this one friggin' manila folder of contents. The semester would soon be over, and her grades would be mailed to Stanford, where they'd review her file. 1530 SAT's and a 3.92 G.P.A. with extra curriculars out the wazoo was competitive, but amazing people had been rejected before.
She had her backpack ready to go as she stood at the kitchen table, manila folder tucked underneath her arm. Her father looked up from the newspaper, seeing she was all set.
"You ready, sweetheart?" He asked her, knowing she was nervous and desperate to know about Stanford. The suspense would be killing them all. Like, how was he going to pay for college the second time around? And Ivy League? He was proud of Natalie, but damn!
"As ready as I'll ever be." She confessed in a half-joking voice, but Gil could see right through it. She was scared out of her damn mind.
Gil stood up and brought Natalie into a big hug, kissing her head.
"Whatever Stanford says, it'll be fine. If they don't take you, which they'd be stupid not to, there are plenty of great school out there. I know you'll be happy at whatever college you choose."
"But I want Stanford!" She moaned into his shoulder. Natalie was trying to find some humor in this. She sometimes covered nervousness with humor, but it never worked with her dad.
"Don't worry. It'll be fine. Your mom and I love you so much, and we're gonna miss you wherever you go."
Natalie shed a tear and quickly wiped it away, not believing her old dad was actually getting to her. She'd miss him too. Gil could see she was uncomfortable, so he pulled back and patted her shoulders a bit.
"Let's get you to school."
Gil picked up his keys and Natalie followed, thankful the mooshiness was now over. Her dad was such a sap.
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Nick had told Sara about Mally's wishes when she came home that night. Sara thought it was a really good idea, and Mally was exuberant that she agreed. She knew Nick would support her anyway, but it was great to have Sara on her side too. The senior was giddy with excitement about what could come, but still nervous also. She talked about it all night, and Nick tried his best to sound upbeat about it, but his heart wasn't there. He just knew something was up with Carolyn, and he was dreading finding her again after all these years. But it was what Mally wanted, and he'd do anything for her.
Mally was playing happily with Bailey in the living room, and Nick was exhausted, so he started up the stairs while Sara finished up a few things. He was two steps up when a voice stopped him.
"Daddy!" Aidan called him from the floor. The kid was so happy-go-lucky, he'd walked right past him. The little boy held his arms up, wanting to be held. Nick smiled and leaned down to get his son. With a grunt, he picked up his growing child and carried him up the stairs.
Nick was one to always make sure each of his children got 'alone with daddy' time. He knew it was important for their relationship to know he cared about each one individually. Nick didn't want any of them to feel left out, and with Aidan's quiet demeanor, he often worried about his son being overlooked. The middle child syndrome. He kissed his son's head as he took him into the master bedroom.
Aidan didn't make a sound, just holding on to his daddy's neck as Nick sat on the bed at the headboard. He set his son on his lap and held him close. With Mally it had been so easy – she was the only one, so she got all of his time. Now he split his time five ways – each of his children, his wife, and his work. It was tough to juggle, but Nick loved his life.
Nick just gently stroked and held his son for a few minutes, tenderly showing affection to him. The little boy seemed to calm even more around Nick, and he could feel his breathing shallowing out.
"Daddy?" He heard after a few minutes.
"Yes, Aidan?"
"W'as Mawwy tawkin' 'bout?" He questioned, referring to her gleeful spiels about find her mother. To Aidan, her mother was already right there – it was Sara. What was she talking about finding her mother?
Nick knew this was going to be hard to explain, but he'd try.
"Well, you see, a long time ago, daddy thought he was in love with this other lady named Carolyn."
"But you wove mommy!" He pointed out.
"You're right. I love mommy now. But before I met your mommy, I knew Carolyn." Nick decided he would try to make it sound like a story book or a fairy tale. "And I thought Carolyn was so perfect, so we decided to have a baby together."
"Mawwy?"
"Yes! So that's when Mally was born. So Carolyn is Mally's real mother, but she lives with us still. But Sara's her momma now, just like you."
"But onwy mommies and daddies can haf babies." Aidan pointed out innocently. He still had so much to learn about this world, but his innocence was refreshing. Nick knew that he meant they had to be married and love each other very much.
"Well, sometimes, mommies and daddies aren't married when they have children, but that's okay too. I love Mally a lot."
"As much as me?"
"Oh, yes!" He hugged his son tight. "The exact same. I love you all so much!" As Nick pulled him in tighter, he started to lay down on the bed. Just like when Mally was little, Aidan snuggled into a sweet spot on Nick's chest, under the crook of his neck. Nick put his strong, comforting arms around his son and breathed out deeply. They just lay there together, listening to each other breathe and each other's hearts. Nick remembered why he loved doing this so much with Mally. It was such a bonding experience. Soon, they were both asleep.
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Mally had since gone to bed, and Sara had finally gotten Bailey down. She assumed Nick and Aidan were snuggling or something in their room, because they'd been up there forever. Sara opened the door to the master bedroom to find the adorable sight.
Nick was sprawled on his back in the middle of the bed, one of his legs tucked up underneath the other. His left hand cradled their son's head, while the right arm was hanging loosely over Aidan's back. Aidan was out like a light on his stomach. His legs were on either side of Nick's stomach, and his left arm was clutched underneath his own chin. His right hand had traveled up and was resting on Nick's forehead. Sara smiled to herself and got the camera. She snapped a quick shot of the sleeping pair, causing Nick to stir a little.
Nick smiled up at his wife as he rubbed his eyes, becoming aware that Aidan's hand was on his forehead. He gently reached up and took his hand, giving it a kiss before placing it on the pillow.
Sara crawled onto the bed and snuggled up on her side next to Nick. His right arm went around his wife, pulling her closer as they watched their son sleep.
"Are you scared?" She asked her husband. After a few moments, Nick answered.
"Yeah. Out of my mind." He admitted, not afraid to show his emotions. "Carolyn is just such a crazy bitch you know." He said as quiet as he could. "I don't want Mally getting hurt, but this is what she wants."
Sara kissed him tenderly and slowly, trying to show her support. She knew this must be awful for Nick to have to revisit a past he wasn't proud of.
"You're a great father. And no matter what happens with Carolyn, Mally will be just fine, because she has you."
"Thank you." He kissed her back with a little more force, though taking care not to disturb the sleeping child on his chest.
"You look pretty good with a little kid in your arms." Sara commented, stroking her son's back.
"You're not too bad yourself."
The parents laid back down, allowing themselves to drift off into a much-needed sleep. Tomorrow would be a big day, and they'd need all the emotional and physical energy they had.
A/N: So, upon a recent reading of parts of my story, I noticed an overabundance of sleeping and putting people to bed. Sorry about that! I guess I just have a thing about people sleeping – it brings out the caring side in others, I guess. I hope you don't mind. GEORGE EADS IS HOT.
