Okay... I realize that my writing style for this story so far has totally sucked, and that I've overlooked a couple of typos. So I shall now try to instigate a more resourceful method of commencing the story thus far and attempting to stimulate the excitement in all of you, and to naturally create a exhilarated response that I know all of you contain.
Okay, I have no fuckin clue what I just said. If you do...well, then good for you. REALLY, good for you.
Okay... new chapter. There was no Leon in the last chapter so I shall try to center this chapter around him.
I'm really happy that so many of you enjoy this story! Really, this is GREAT!
Chapter...um...3? 4: Secret Sauce.
xXxXxXxXxX1
"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! You goddamn retards. SHUT UP!" screamed Cid Highwind. Everyone was gathered in the employee lounge (the amazingly TINY employee lounge, mind you all) courtesy of said blonde, all chattering wondering why the hell they had been taken away from a wonderfully relaxing 4 minute break. ("HEY! Time is gummi and gummi is MONEY!" ) -their boss had always said.
To Cloud, the phrase sounded too much like Cid. Hmm...
A small movement at the back of the stuffed room caught his attention, and he focused his blue eyes on the figure. As if on cue, his eyes ere met by a VERY harsh glare. Blushing, (in annoyance, people!) He hastily glanced away.
Grr...stupid Leon. Or Squall. Or whatever the HELL his name was.
I mean seriously, what complete and total loser had 2 names anyway!
His eyes scanned the room for something else to look at. Something. ANYTHING.
A freaking toilet would have made him feel better at the moment. But still...when his eyes had throughly scanned the room, all he could stare at was Leon.
Stupid Leon.
Stupid stick up the ass Leon.
Grr...stupid Leon and his stupid double names and long hair and blue eyes and deep voice and-
"Attention, please. ATTENTION!." Leon spoke softly, as if trying to convince a cat to jump off a bridge.
No one even gave him a second glance. "People, please..." Leon grumbled. His plea fell on deaf ears.
Cloud blushed darkly, seemingly the only person who was even LOOKING at Leon. How could such an ass have such a wonderfully deep, dark rich...soothing voice.
"WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING?" he screamed...out loud. And in an instant, all eyes were focused on him.
Leon, however, was not surprised. "Thank you, Cloud. Now that you have so obviously gathered everyone's attention I can begin. Now, for one...we would like to introduce the newest member of our staff. Sephiroth Saishino."
And the whole damn room erupted in applause. Sephiroth stepped onto the makeshift stage (making sure to SHOVE Leon out of the way first) blowing kisses and bowing. "Thank you ALL for adoration. Really, you are too kind." he whispered (rather loudly) wiping away fake streams of tears from his eyes.
"GET THE HELL OFF THE STAGE, YOU WALKING MEATROD!" screamed an all too familiar voice.
Ignoring the rude comment, Sephiroth shifted his attention to the blonde beauty sulking in the corner. "But I never would have come to this wonderful place had it not been for my lovely Cloud..." he pointed to said person, who was currently trying to self destruct under all the heated gazes he was receiving.
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, KID? ARE YOU ON CRACK!" again cries the voice.
Sephiroth (unfortunately) continues "I will give my best to you all, and the community. I swear that on my life, I shall NEVER fail you..." he dramatically paused...earning glares, stares and swoons from the audience.
"ALL YOUR DOING IS DELIVERING BOXES, YOU LONG-HAIRED IDIOT!" responds the voice.
Sephiroth twitched. "And I will carry out any task bestowed upon me..."
"GO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE, LOSER!"
"For I know that is for the greater good that intergalactic travel is achieved in the greater good-"
"YOU'RE NOT MAKING SENSE!"
"T-That...t-the p-people are...a-able...to...gummi... I mean...travel...with...the"
"GIVE IT UP FOR THE WALKING-TALKING-DICTIONARY, FOLKS!"
The last straw had been broken, and suddenly Sephiroth leapt off the 'stage' and into the 'audience'. Screams were heard, and then an awkward silence.
"FIGHT!" screamed another all to recognizable female voice.
Leon rushed onto the 'stage' screaming for the security to break up the commotion.
"Settle down, everyone."
Not a single head turned in his direction.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU GODDAMN BASTARDS! I SWEAR, I WILL FIRE EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"
Silence.
Leon cleared his throat. "Um...I suppose that was all...erm. You can all get back to work now..."
And in .3 seconds everyone was gone.
xXxXxXxXxXxXxX2
Riku smiled. EVILLY smiled. His plan was perfect.
PEEERRFEECT.
"Yuffie?" he purred into his intercom.
"Yes, Riku?" came the overly hyper voice.
"I need you to call up our brand new delivery boy. Tell him to be quick, I wont wait for long. I have a very special delivery that I need him to pick up. Tell him that I might even have a nice tip waiting for him if he hurries up." he smirked, hearing the obvious reaction on the young woman.
"Riku, when you talk like that you sound even creepier than you usually are. Why don't you just SHUT up and tell Sephiroth that you're trying to poison him?"
The obviously BAD reaction.
"Because, my dear sweet little girl, that would make our little situation a LOT less fun, now wouldn't it?" Riku grinned, smoothing back his beautiful silver hair. He moaned softly as his fingertips brushed against his soft scalp...slowly bring his nails down to his beautiful face.
He must've forgotten that the intercom was still on.
"RIKU!" screeched a very DISGUSTED Yuffie. "WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP MOLESTING YOURSELF OVER THE PHONE!"
"Oh, Sora..."
Yuffie sighed. "I'm not even going to ASK about what you're doing up there."
Surprisingly enough...
"Yuffie...?" slurred a new voice (wonder who it is...?). "Just send the delivery boy over. I...erm, that is WE have an assignment for him."
Yuffie was almost too happy to comply.
xXxXxXxXxXx3
Leon sighed as he strode through the door that lead to his office. In all honesty, he had NO FRIGGIN clue why the president had pushed him to hire such complete and utter idiots. Groaning, he unbuttoned his dress shirt and casually unzipped fly.
It was good to be alone.
He was kicked out of this thoughts, however when a dark shadow stepped towards his door. Seemingly panicked, the shadow frantically moved around the door...then stopped. Then began waltzing back and forth. Finally satisfied, the shadow dropped what seemed to be a package in front of his door and ran away.
Hmph. People these days. It was almost as if the staff was afraid of him.
He swung open the door, snatched the package, secretly looked left...then right...then LEFT and ducked back into his room.
He stared at the package...uninterested he read the...demolished piece of paper attached to it.
It said:
FROM RIKU: THIS IS NOT RIKU! THIS IS SEPHYROTHE! I made you this yummi curry to show you how much shit you have in you ass. MI HANDE IS BROoKEN! Thak u 4 hyiring me! Now please eet this contaminated food and fire my retarded ass as soon as POSSIBLE! Have a nice day. :)
Love, Sephybitch.
Leon stared at the package unfazed. What? Its not like this hasn't happened before.
This is Squall Leonheart we're talking about.
But...what to do with the package?
Grinning, he hastily took out a permanent marker and crossed out his name on the package, replacing it with 'Cloud Strife' before walking to his door and throwing the package out.
Now to watch the fire works.
xXxXxXxXxXxXx4
Cloud was peacefully snoozing on his desk, losing about 25 dollars an hour. While happily drifting off into La-La land, a-
BIG FAT THING HIT THE BACK OF HIS HEAD AND HE JERKED AWAKE SCREAMING CAUSE HE WAS SO SCARED THAT THE PINK FLUFFY BUNNIES (that had Leon, Sephiroth, and Riku's heads on their shoulders) HAD COME TO MOLEST HIM AND KICK HIM IN THE ARSE FOR STEALING THE PAYCHECK OF FREEDOM!.
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" screamed the terrified blonde, more than a little tipsy from the beer that Sora had offered him. (He seemed a little TOO happy to be offering anything to anyone).
"Oh...? Wash Dish?" he slurred, picking up the wet stinky box. Hmmmm. He surveyed it carefully...VERY carefully.
In his drunken state, he eyed the card that was super glued to the front of the box. It must have been...
"A BOMB!" he shrieked. He jumped out of his seat and raced towards the Vice room.
"LEON!" he screamed. "LEON! HELP! Someone dropped a bomb in some curry and OHMIGAWD I think someone is trying to KILL ME!"
The door slowly opened, and out stepped Leon. YAY! "What the hell are you getting at, Strife?" he growled trying to hide his glee.
Until he noticed how flushed the man beneath him's face was.
"Leon...I think there's a murderer in this building.." Cloud whispered.
Leon twitched. "And just what have you been drinking lately, Mr. Strife?"
Cloud brightened. "OH! Ya, Sora came down and gave me this REALLY yummy drink called a Purple Nocturne."
There had never been more of a feeling to kill in Squall Leonheart as there was now. "Strife," he began slowly. "Why the in the name of all that is good and holy are you here during WORK hours getting DRUNK? And in MY office, no less?"
Cloud looked confused. "Work Time? Ish not work time, its BREAK time!" cried the blonde.
"It was BREAK TIME an hour ago! Why the hell is Sora giving some idiot like YOU alcohol, anyway!"
"Nyu-unh!" Cloud stuck his tongue out. "Sora told me that EVERY time is break time. And you know what, he's RIGHT!"
Seemingly Remembering something...
"OH THAT'S RIGHT! THE BOMB!" screamed the Cloud. "LEON! OHMIGAWD, SOMEONE DROPPED THIS BOMB IN SOME CURRY AND I THINK THAT SOMEONE COULD BE TRYING TO KILL ME!"
"Wonder why..." Leon replied flatly. Sighing, he walked towards the makeshift desk and picked up the package lying in the flurry of papers. "This doesn't look like a bomb to me, you fool." he hissed. "I bet you didn't even read the card!"
"Yes, I did! And I'm tellin ya, there's someone dangerous in this building!" Cloud screeched.
"THE ONLY one dangerous in this building is YOU, Strife! You been here for barely 4 weeks and you've already done more idiotic things than I've ever done in high school!" (And damn, Leon did some pretty stupid shit!)
"I'm SORRY!" Cloud screamed.
"SORRY, isn't going to take back all the forms you've turned into airplanes, the ass prints on the copier or the sketches on the ORDER FORMS! Do you have ANY experience at ALL, STRIFE!"
Cloud looked as though he was about to shoot someone. "I'm SORRY, OKAY? I'm just a little stressed out from all that's happened in the last month!"
"Listen, you dumbass! YOU are MORE stressful than ANYTHING in this business!"
"I AM NOT!"
"YES, YOU ARE!"
Cloud, over come with anger, puffed out his cheeks and narrowed his eyes. Screaming, he angrily kicked Leon in the shins.
And the war began.
Needless to say, the little act of defiance coming from the NEW COMER surprised Leon. In a blur of movement, he grabbed the curry from of the desk, flew (almost literally o.O) towards the stunned blonde and threw the bowl into this face. This movement caused Cloud to tumble backwards...backwards...and backwards...into...into...
LEON'S OFFICE.
Screaming Cloud fell backwards into Leon's office, splattering curry onto the walls, the carpet and...
Leon's DESK.
LEON'S DESK.
Leon's desk...desk...desk...DESK.
But worst of all...
Into Cloud's HAIR.
HAIR...HAIR...hair...hair...
Time had stopped. Utterly stopped. The two most scared things in the universe had been defiled and time had just crapped its pants watching.
Cloud sat in silence as the contaminated curry dripped from his hair and into his lap. His hair...his beautiful, perfect, flawless hair had been SOILED...and there he lay...in an intoxicated/utterly shocked position...his eyes wide open in horror.
His eyes watered.
His lip trembled.
His body shivered.
"Ugh. Look at what you did to my OFFICE, Cloud you idiot. You know how long it takes the janitor to clean this room?" Leon hissed.
No response.
"Cloud!"
No response.
"Get up off your lazy ass and clean up this mess RIGHT now! If its not clean by the time I get back, you will be in HUGE trouble, understood? I WILL take away your paycheck. Cloud?"
Cloud bowed his head, in an almost utter act of defeat. "You...bastard. You just...screwed up the only shred of pride I have left..." he whispered.
"So you got some curry in your hair, so what? At least its not in you eyes. Now shut the hell up and clean this room."
Cloud shook in anger. "What am I to do...? I spent all my money on food last week and I don't have enough to buy anymore shampoo..and my hair. I...I..."
His head shot up, his eyes full of tears. He burst from the room, sobbing loudly, flying towards the stairs.
Leaving behind a stunned Leon, a surprised Yuffie (who just showed up), a shocked Aerith (same here) and a VERY happy Sora.
xXxXxXxXxXx5
"I can't believe you did such a thing, Squall Leonheart!" Yuffie sighed, her eyes full of sadness. "Do you have any idea what you've done?"
Leon glared at her. "He deserved it. He was DRUNK on the job, Yuffie. DRUNK. Plus, he kicked me. Good riddance, I say."
Aerith huffed. "Have you ever been to that poor boys apartment? I feel bad just remembering my visit." she sighed. "But..." she glanced at Yuffie.
Yuffie grinned back. "That's a GREAT idea!" she cried and hastily wrote down something on a sheet of paper.
Leon swore. Sometimes it was hard to tell if those two were lovers or twins. Yuffie smiled at him, and handed him the paper she was writing on.
"Here. Take this and go to the address written on it. You'll be surprised at what you find there."
And on that note, the two female lovers left, leaving Leon in a scramble of his own thoughts. Sighing, he stood up and prepared to go to the address on the paper.
Cloud's Apartment.
xXxXxXxXxXxXend6.
Not that much of a cliffhanger, I kno. Thanks for all your lovely reviews! Here's the chapter that you've all wanted so badly!
I'm starting to think about changing the name, since this fic is SOOO plotless. Just so you know, I rushed to finish this chapter, so if you find a typo, tell me about it. Most of you probably expected a more explosive response from Leon. I did too, but then i decided that this is CLOUD we're talking about. So it was pretty much expected.
with lotsa luv.
