I had a lot of fun with the kind-of-accidentally thing in this chapter. You'll see once you read it. Anyway, I saw a shooting star a few minutes ago (whenever this is published, I'm writing this at night) I suppose that's good luck— at least it seems like it would be. Ah well. It was pretty. You know? I've seen one every year on my birthday the past three years. Perhaps I'm a special person. :) And none of you take that out of context!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the things I own. The things I own are the things not owned by Colfer. Colfer owns everything except the things I own. The things Colfer owns are the things I do not own. :) Try that one, all you people who think you're the next Artemis Fowl.


Valerie groaned, and listened. Sure enough. For a while, she hadn't noticed it. Just thought the copter's engine was getting louder for some reason. But no. There was another copter behind them.

"You have an idea, I assume."

She glared at him, and began stuffing things into a spare bag she'd picked up. "I'm working on it. Give me a moment. I'm having a little trouble with things."

"Anything you want me to do for you?"

"Yeah! Shut up!"

Zane finished sticking the controls in silence, and then moved to the back of the copter where he could raid the various supply stocks. "Hey. Here's some medical supplies. You want anything?"

Valerie held open another bag. "All of it. And if there's any kind of pain killer, I want enough to make me high."

For a moment, Zane stared down at the still, bloody hand draped across her lap. He kept forgetting about it for some reason. How could she stand the pain that must be causing her? He dumped case after case into the bag, searching for anything that looked like a painkiller. There was several cases of needles, but of course they were labeled in Russian, and he didn't want to give her some lethal injection.

"Fine." Valerie struggled to her feet, and pulled her injured arm across her chest. "Take the bandages and fix this to me as tightly as you can. It won't hurt as much, and it'll be out of the way."

Zane picked up a roll of bandages obediently. "What about the other copter?"

"They're just following us. They'll let us live until we have the diamond. Then, they'll kill us and take it. We can worry about them later. Worry about us now."

After a minute more, while Zane fumbled with the roll, he began to bandage her arm to her. When he got to her hand though, he stopped. "Am I hurting you?"

Valerie groaned. "What do you think? It's painful just listening to you think out loud!" She smiled tiredly. "Yes, but it can't be helped. Go on, and keep it tight, alright?"

Gingerly, he continued, looking rather ill when a chunk of skin that had been dangling from her hand fell off. Finally though, he was done. Valerie spun quickly a few times to get a feel for her balance, and then picked up a gun, and moved around to the front.

After wrapping her good arm through the seat belt loop, she overrode the lock, and opened the door. Out of pure reflex, Zane's arm shot out to catch hold of her. "I'm fine, Zane. I just need to get a better look at the idiots. I won't fall out. I promise."

Slowly, Zane let go of her, and she swung her body upright, and half leaned out of the copter.

In the other copter, the men were babbling into the radio, and one looked as if he was going to break a window any moment and start shooting at her. Valerie waved at them, kind-of-accidentally sticking up one particular finger at them as she did so.

Zane had a fit of coughing from behind her, and finally leaned out, and pulled her back in. "If that seat belt breaks, you are dead. You're making them mad, and they can't fight. That's not a good thing to do. They might get all worked up."

Valerie grinned at him, and put her foot in the way to keep him from shutting the door. "Wait." She swept her arm up, aimed the gun briefly, and then fired at the other copter.

There was a slight pinging noise, and nothing happened.

"You missed!"

Smack. Valerie slapped him across the face. "I did nothing of the sort! In a few minutes, their tail spinner-thing— whatever it's called— will fall off. Then watch them go much of anywhere except up and down."

Zane turned and look up ahead. "But we'll be over a big lake in a few minutes!"

Valerie grinned wickedly. "I know that. Won't it be funny to watch their faces?" She waved to them again, kind-of-accidentally sticking up one particular finger at them as she did so, and then shut the door. "They all think I missed. Watch them laugh when their stupid little tail falls off."

With a plop, Zane seated himself, fighting a bout of odd sounding noises halfway between grunts and snorts.

They flew out over the lake. The other copter drew up beside them with a burst of speed, and then suddenly fell back— well— kind of drifted to a sudden halt. Valerie wasted a minute to spin the copter back around and wave at them again, kind-of-accidentally sticking up one particular finger at them as she did so. Just for the fun of it. It wasn't many people who could boast about how they had flicked off members of the Mafia. Not many people got away with it. The Mafia prided themselves on it. Unfortunately, they hadn't taken Valerie into consideration on that one.

Then, they were flying north east again— but more east than north. Both of them felt much better than they had been earlier too. Perhaps it was the weather, and perhaps it wasn't. At any rate, Zane almost suggested they go find The Tyrant, purely for the sake of waving at him, and kind-of-accidentally sticking up one particular finger at him as they did so. But another time. Right now, they had to get the diamond.

"Are we coming to a big city?" Valerie leaned forwards suddenly, and squinted at the land up ahead.

Zane quickly turned his attention in the direction of her gaze. "Uh… I'm not quite sure. It's highly possible though. It might be— I can't remember. Just about every cross-Russia flight comes in here. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to get too close, because they'll want us to identify ourselves, and we can't do that, or speak Russian and make something up."

"I know that, Zane. Land the copter."

"What?" Zane almost started to bring the helicopter higher.

Shaking her head at the stupidity of some people, and wondering where she'd get the patience to deal with him much longer, Valerie pushed down the lever.

Zane let out a yell, and fought with her for the controls. "We're going to land in a lake, you idiot!"

"Hopefully it's deep enough to submerge us," muttered Valerie. "Open the doors so we can jump out when we get close enough. Then, we're rid of the evidence. We swim to shore, get some sleep, and go into the city when we have a plan. It should help quite a bit."

"This is ridiculous!" groaned Zane, but he began to guide the copter down.

"Why are you heading towards the shore? You have to come down in the middle, or it won't be deep enough!"

Carefully, Zane set the copter down on a flat sandy area along the shore. "I know. You take all the supplies and get out. I'll dump this thing, and swim out. It wouldn't do to break anything or get all of that stuff wet."

Or not so stupid, thought Valerie. "Alright." She swung herself out, throwing the packs Zane handed her over her shoulder one by one. "Try not to hurt yourself more."

Zane rolled his eyes at her, nodded, and lifted into the air again. Valerie hurried off into the trees to find a suitable place for hiding from everyone that was looking for them. It would probably be quite a while before The Tyrant wanted to admit to defeat. He'd never been defeated before, and he wasn't too happy about a child destroying his record.

Valerie pushed through the trees a way, until she came to a suitable clump of trees and bushes that had enough room in the middle to spread out the packs and curl up in for a few hours of sleep. Quickly, she sorted the packs according to content, setting aside some food with relief. She hadn't eaten for… a while. Quite a while it seemed. Poor Zane probably hadn't eaten for over a week. When he came back, they'd eat, and then sleep. And she'd try to come up with some kind of plan for what to do next.

She winced as she heard Zane coming up behind her. He really needed to work on his stealth! It sounded like he was limping though. His walking was uneven. "What'd you do?"

Zane pushed his way through the bushes. "I didn't swim fast enough. A blade clipped my ankle."

"Sit." She pointed to a spot next to her, and reached for the medical bag.

With a groan, Zane lowered himself to the ground, and leaned back with his foot out. He was shivering slightly— the lake water had been freezing, and it was windy.

Valerie took a jacket she had found, and tossed it over him. "This is lovely. If you keep hurting yourself, I'm going to have to kill you! Do you know how difficult you're making this? Now I have to plan around your injuries as well as mine." She picked up his injured foot, and set it in her lap, pulling off his shoe without the slightest care.

"Ow!"

Valerie shook her head in annoyance, and leaned over, examining the deep cut that ran from his ankle half way to his knee. It went all the way down to the bone, and she was fairly sure he'd fractured his ankle. It was just a good thing the blade had been slowed down by the water.

"How bad is it? I'm too cold to feel."

"I suggest you hold onto something," muttered Valerie, and reached for a bottle of something that she needed no label to tell was alcohol. It was definitely in its purest form. The smell was noxious.

Zane yelled when she began to pour. She poured half the bottle into the cut, until it overflowed, fizzing and stinging. It was a good thing they had it though. The lake water could have turned it into a nasty infection. "There. Hold still for a few minutes, and wait."

He did, but spent the entire time grumbling at her over it. Finally Valerie slapped him quiet, and pulled out some bandages. "You'll have to do this yourself. I don't have enough hands. Keep it tight, but not quite tight enough to cut off circulation."

Zane sat up stiffly, took the bandages, and neatly wrapped up his leg. "I don't think I want to walk around much after this. See if you can work that into your plan."

Valerie lay down beside him, squirming around until she was comfortable. "It's not as easy as you think, Zane— coming up with plans that work. It takes time and practice. Not everyone can do it. You ought to be more appreciative of my talents."

"So how do you make plans?" Zane slid into the jacket, and zippered it up. "Do we have any food?"

Valerie fumbled with a box of crackers a minute, and then handed it to him, slipping one into her mouth. "You make plans based on the most ridiculous thing you can think of. Then, you work out the details."

"Like?"

"Like fighting our way out. That was the most ridiculous thing I could think of that could succeed. I mean— it could, but no one thought it was possible for two people. Then the details. Get to the stairs where there are less people, and pick up something— that little explosive— that would hold everyone off. Go upstairs— the illogical route, and travel the roof, where there are less people." She held her hand out for more crackers.

Zane dropped a few into her hand. "That's all? That's not so hard."

"No; but how many other people would have thought of it? Truthfully, now, Zane."

He shrugged. "I could have."

"Would you have?"

"No."

Valerie nodded, and sat up to look through the bags for another jacket. "Exactly my point, you see."

"So what are we going to do?"

Valerie grinned. "You'll see. Tomorrow. Go to sleep."

"What about a watch?"

She shook her head. "We can't afford not to get the sleep, and I'll wake up if anyone comes near. Now go to sleep."


Aren't you angry at me for having to wait? I'm truly enjoying this story. It's so like Hitting Hard!

You who do not review: Your evils will condemn you on the day of judgment. :)