Disclaimer: Never owned anything. Never will.
Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy have to share a room since, obviously, it is a Draco/Hermione fic and if they share a room there will be more room for "sexual tension".
The author describes in long, sickly sentences that he/she thinks are creative, how Draco and Hermione drool over their beautiful room and (secretly) each other. The next day, Hermione has to use the bathroom, to "beautify herself", but we all know that she just really has to pee. Predictably, there is only one bathroom, and our Slytherin Sex-God has been hogging it (Seriously, how gay is that?).
Hermione angstily flings open the door only to find Draco standing there in all his glory. Sickened, she turns her head away. "Pssst!" Draco whispers, "You're supposed to find me attractive, not repulsive!"
"Oh, right," Hermione resignedly looks at him with her eyes like two pools full of diarrhea.
He stares back with his cold, blue eyes (Do his eyes change color every five seconds?), without bothering to cover himself up. They continue to stare until Ron/Harry run in, interrupting an electrifying moment, of course, what do they know? They only exist in this story so that it can be called Harry Potter fanfiction and Hermione can have two best friends who happen to be guys.
Hermione chattered with Ginerva Weasley all the way to potions where the7y found a seat. When did "Ginny" become "Ginerva" and apparently the author has forgotten that Ginny/Ginerva is a year below Harry, Hermione and Ron.
Draco struts off to potions being his normal, arrogant self until he sees Pansy Parkinson…."Aaaaaaah!" he lets out a shrill, high-pitched scream and runs in the opposite direction to safety.
"Wait!" the author yells after him, "She's supposed to be your bitchy girlfriend!"
