CHAPTER 9: BARLEY SUGAR

5:30 the next morning

Outside the Bates Cottage

Thomas awoke sputtering. His face was wet, and he did not know why. He opened his eyes, but a glaring light forced them shut again. "I'm blind."

"You're not blind. Open your eyes."

Thomas recognized Anna's voice. What was she doing in his room? He squinted and saw Anna towering over him. He was not in his room. He was outside, and the sun was up.

"Stand up." Anna's voice reverberated inside Thomas' skull. She was holding a pitcher and splashing him with water.

Anna was determined; she would not allow herself to feel sympathy for Thomas' hungover condition no matter how pathetic. He had gotten her husband drunk. Who knew what a Pandora's Box he may have opened.

"Hold onto the wall if you must and stand up!"

Why was Anna so angry? Thomas turned on all fours until he saw the wall. He struggled to plant his feet on the ground and stand, leaning against the wall for support. Now he knew where he was; he was outside the cottage. He had never returned to the house last night. What was Mr Carson going to say?

"Are you able to walk?" asked Anna.

"No," replied Thomas.

"Pull yourself together, Thomas!"

Thomas rested his head against the wall. He was dizzy and bilious. He hoped he would not heave in front of Anna.

"Are you listening, Thomas?"

"Yes."

"This is what you must do. You must go to the house and tell Mr Carson that John and I cannot work today. Tell him that John's cane split, and he took a bad fall. John is too heavy for me, so you stayed to be of assistance. Tell him that we are sorry for the inconvenience and will return to work tomorrow. Mr Carson will accept that explanation. Don't offer him anything else. Do you understand?"

Thomas was beginning to remember the events of the previous night. He remembered that Bates and Anna were no longer his friends. His body became heavy as it filled with sorrow. "I understand," he mumbled.

"Then go." Anna turned on her heel, stepped inside and shut the door.


The Abbey

"Mr Barrow, what is the meaning of this?" Carson thundered when Thomas tried to slip inside the servants' entrance unnoticed.

Thomas delivered Anna's message exactly as she had instructed. She was right; Carson did not question him.

Thomas wanted nothing more than to vomit and collapse on his bed, but he willed himself to focus. "Mr Carson, do you know where I may obtain a cane ... today, if possible?"

Mr Carson was gratified to see Thomas display a measure of compassion. "I suppose Mr Bates won't be of much use without his cane. I'll telephone Dr Clarkson after breakfast and see what he can recommend. In the meantime, Mr Barrow, I suggest that you make yourself presentable. This is not a holiday house."


The Bates Cottage

Thomas knocked lightly on the cottage door. At Dr Clarkson's recommendation, he had purchased a cane from the village chemist. Now he prayed that no one would answer his knock so he could leave the cane at the door and run. His prayer was not answered; Anna opened the door.

Thomas held out the cane, and Anna accepted it, icily. "Well, that's one problem solved. Come inside, Thomas."

"I'm sorry, but Mr Carson is expecting me."

"Come inside!" Anna commanded. Her voice was as hard as steel. Thomas did not know this Anna. She seemed taller than he remembered. Her usually pleasing face was fixed in an uncharitable grimace. Thomas did not have the wherewithal to oppose her. His body was still punishing him for the previous night's indiscretion. He felt as though he had swallowed an alley cat whole, and it was trying to claw its way out. He surrendered and followed Anna inside.

"Sit down, Thomas. You and I are going to have a talk."

Thomas sat obediently. "Where's John?"

"This is between you and me. John won't disturb us." Anna remained standing. "Thomas, I want you to speak to me frankly."

"I will," Thomas replied hoarsely, staring at his shoes.

"Whose idea was it to drink last night?"

"It was John's idea, but I agreed," Thomas answered.

"Thomas, are you aware that John has a drinking problem."

Thomas looked up with surprise. "He does?"

"Are you telling me that you had no idea?"

"Oh, Anna, I never would have agreed to go with him if I had known that he was a ... a ..."

"A drunk?"

Thomas flinched at the word and nodded.

Anna's resolve dissipated. Poor Thomas. He was sweating and trembling. He sat before her a stray, beaten puppy. Anna brought him a glass of water which he accepted gratefully. She sat across from Thomas and leaned forward. "Thomas, what really happened here last night? I could see that it was more than a broken cane."

"John didn't tell you?"

"No. After you left he went straight to bed without so much as a goodnight. He's still asleep."

Thomas felt a new wave of remorse. "Anna, have you been up all night? That can't be good for you right now. I couldn't bear it if something happened to you or the baby."

Anna was touched that Thomas would think of her in his current miserable state. "There's no need to worry, Thomas. I'm fine," Anna assured him. "Please tell me what happened."

Thomas gestured to the cradle. "John found a cradle for the baby, and we refinished it. When we were done, he wanted to go to the Grantham Arms to have a pint. I was ... flattered, I suppose, that he wanted me for company. But he had more than a pint. We both did, but I couldn't begin to keep up with him. Oh, Anna ... I'm so sorry."

"I know you are. What happened then?"

"We were fuddled. I don't know how we found our way back here, but we managed. Then John said something that set me off."

"What did he say?"

Thomas hesitated.

"He's my husband, Thomas. I must know."

"He said that I wasn't a real man."

Anna was taken aback. "Thomas, you must have misunderstood! Why would he say such a thing?"

"Why? Isn't that what everyone thinks about me?"

Anna frowned. "It's not what I think, and I won't have you believe that it is."

"Thank you for that."

"It's not what John thinks either."

Thomas shook his head. "A drunk man says what's on his mind."

"I shouldn't speak for John. You should ask him yourself. Please continue, Thomas."

Thomas stood. "I'm sorry, Anna, I can't tell you the rest." He started for the door, but Anna caught Thomas' hand and pulled him toward her chair.

"Thomas, I need to hear it from you before John wakes up."

Thomas resisted. "Anna, I can't. I said something about you ... something vulgar."

"Oh?"

"Please, Anna," he begged, "don't ask me what I said. I didn't mean it. I said it because I was angry. John hurt me, and I wanted to hurt him."

"It's all right, Thomas, I won't ask you. Not if you didn't mean it." Thomas sank back onto the chair.

"So, you said something unkind about me, and then what?"

"And then John gave me a smack. He knocked me right off my feet."

Anna was shocked. Her husband had never been violent when he drank, or so his mother had said.

"Anna, he was tanked up, and I had said something awful. He was defending you. I don't blame him; you shouldn't blame him either."

"You were both on the floor when I came home," Anna reminded Thomas.

"When John hit me, something inside me ... I don't know ... came loose. My father used to hit me like that. When I looked at John, I saw every man who had ever made me feel as though I were something disgusting ... as though I should be tossed in the river like so much trash for having the cheek to take a breath." Thomas paused. "Anna, please. I did something monstrous. I don't want to tell you."

"Thomas, you can't change what happened now. Why were you both on the floor when I opened the door?"

Thomas felt his heart pounding. He forced out the words quickly as though she would not grasp the meaning that way. "I knocked John to the ground and choked him until he passed out."

"Oh, my god!"

"When he came round, he screamed for me to get out of the house. That's when you opened the door."

Thomas looked up at Anna and awaited her wrath. She brought Thomas another glass of water while she sorted out his story. At last, she spoke. "So, John took you out for a spree and because of that, you lost control of your senses. In all the years I've known you, Thomas, I've never known you to be a brawler. I can't see that you're responsible for any of last night."

Thomas was at a loss for words.

Anna was not finished. Her voice tightened. "But I promise you this, Thomas. If you ever go drinking with my husband again, we will no longer be friends, and you will not be welcome in this house. Are we agreed?"

"Agreed." Thomas swallowed hard. "Anna, why are you being so generous to me? You know it's not what I deserve."

"I suppose I can decide for myself what my friends deserve from me."

"Are we friends then?"

"Of course we are." Anna smiled. "Who else is always at the ready with a barley sugar?"

Thomas reached into his coat pocket. He had always carried barley sugars for the children. Now he carried them for Anna too. He pulled out two, one for Anna and one for himself.

Anna accepted the candy and laughed. "I'm going to be a fat lady in a few months with or without barley sugar, so I may as well enjoy it!"