CHAPTER 10: YOUNG AGAIN
Later that day
The Bates Cottage
Bates awoke in pain. His bad leg was throbbing. He stood, and his leg refused to support him. Where was his cane ... and where was Anna? The sun was up, and Anna had not wakened him. He tried calling for her, but there was not one drop of saliva in his mouth. He put a hand on the wall for support and slowly worked his way around the room. By the time he reached the door, he was able to manage a clumsy shuffle without the support of the wall.
He opened the door to the sight of Anna dusting. Why was she not dressed for work? "Anna?" He croaked.
Anna turned to Bates. He was still wearing yesterday's clothes, and his hair was damp and matted. She had never seen him so dishevelled, not even when she visited him in prison.
Bates looked at the clock but his eyes were not focusing properly. He shuffled closer. It was already 6:30, and he had not even shaved. He began to speak but was overcome by coughing.
Anna brought him a glass of water. "Aren't you a sight." Her voice was flat.
Bates looked down at himself and realised that he had slept in his clothes. He struggled to remember why. No matter. "Why didn't you wake me? We'll be late."
"Late for what?"
What was wrong with her? "For the Abbey."
"It's 6:30 in the evening, John. You've slept all day."
"What?" Bates was bewildered. How could Anna risk their livelihood as though it were nothing?
"Thomas made our excuses to Mr Carson."
"Excuses?"
"You remember, for the fall you took when your cane split."
Bates remembered Thomas banging the cane on the cradle. He remembered the mask of rage on Thomas' face. Bates involuntarily put his hand to his throat. "Thomas is a madman. I don't want him in this house. Stay away from him."
"You seem to be a bit confused. It's not for you to be giving orders right now." Anna's face was impassive.
"Anna, please speak plainly."
Anna did not respond. Instead, she brought Bates the new cane.
"What's this?"
"The madman dropped it off for you this morning. Are you able to eat?"
Bates' usual hearty appetite eluded him. "Toast, perhaps, and some tea."
Anna heated the kettle. Bates took the new cane and hobbled, urgently, to the privy. When he returned, he noticed Anna's suitcase by the door. "Is Lady Mary off again?"
"Not that I'm aware."
Bates felt uneasy. "Anna, forget the tea. Talk to me."
Anna stood in front of Bates, a fortress.
Bates reached out and took Anna's hand. "Why is your bag packed?"
"That's up to you, John."
"Anna, please, no riddles."
Anna steeled herself. "I love you John. I never expect to love another man the way I love you. But I'm going to have our baby, and I won't raise our child in a house of fear. I knew that fear with my stepfather."
Anna was leaving him! Bates felt his knees weaken. His cane fell to the floor. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.
Anna picked up the cane and handed it back. "You should sit, John."
Bates sat heavily and looked up at Anna beseechingly. "Anna, don't leave me!"
"I don't want to leave you, John, but my suitcase is packed and ready. If you ever take another drink, I'll take my suitcase and go. One drink, John, and I'm gone. Do you understand me?"
Tears stung Bates' eyes. He put his arms around Anna and pulled her close. He rested his cheek against her belly. "Anna, I'm sorry."
"Do you understand me?" demanded Anna.
The tears broke free and slid down Bates' bristled cheeks. "Yes ... I promise, Anna ... I won't do it again!"
Anna spoke firmly but without anger. "I'm sorry, John, but I know only too well that the promise of a drunk means nothing." Bates felt the crush of Anna's brutal honesty. "You'll have to show me. Each day, you'll have to show me. I'm going to leave my suitcase by the door so you don't forget."
Bates clung to Anna and nodded. She smoothed his hair and put her arms around him. "Why did you do it, John?"
"I don't know. I hadn't had a drink for so long. I thought perhaps I could have a pint and stop."
"But why risk it? To what purpose?"
Bates sighed. "I wanted to feel young again ... young and whole ... you know, like Thomas."
