Kind of funny, no pun intended, that there's laughter in this sad of a story. Well... serious. Anyway, was messing up, and I didn't get any alerts until today that I should have gotten a week ago. Sorry if I haven't reviewed some stories yet, and thanks for your reviews. I'm so happy to have over 31 reviews on my oneshot! Makes me feel very proud...
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the things I own. The things I own are the things not owned by Colfer. Colfer owns everything except the things I own. The things Colfer owns are the things I do not own. :) Try that one, all you people who think you're the next Artemis Fowl.
As Valerie through the main hallway and into a side room she began to wish she hadn't said that. He'd realize what she meant in a few moments, and then he would also see her weakness. Him.
She was motioned to a chair at the end of a long table where there were several of the Sun Ye On already sitting. The Tyrant seated himself opposite of her, and cleared his throat. "Well gentleman? This is the woman you were looking for, I assume?"
There were murmurs of agreement. Valerie sighed, and began to look around. High overhead, maybe thirty feet above them, there was a huge chandelier. Her heart sped up. This certainly looked like it had been used for a meeting room for a long time. Was the diamond this was all about sitting in a bunch of wires thirty feet above their heads?
The irony of the situation hit her, and she began to laugh quietly, turning her face away quickly as the entire table turned to look at her. "Excuse me," she choked. "I—"
"What's funny?" Her laughter made all the men nervous. She was a dangerous woman, and she was in danger. If she thought something was funny, there was a real possibility that they were all in danger and just didn't realize it yet. She shouldn't be laughing.
Slowly, Valerie rose, and began to pace. On of the guards stepped towards her, but she whirled before he could touch her, catching him by surprise. "Yes?"
Stammering an apology, he backed away, feeling horribly intimidated by someone almost a foot and a half shorter than he was. Maybe it was her eyes, but at any rate, he wished he hadn't done it.
"What's funny?" someone repeated.
Valerie studied the room carefully, noting its layout, and the pillars on the side as well as the huge windows to the east, and the skylights at the far end. "Nothing really… except… you've all made a horrible mistake."
This was, of course, the most unnerving thing she could have possibly said at the moment, and so she said it. It worked. All of the men shifted around in their chairs, watching her for more information and trying to keep their faces calm. A few looked around the room in hopes of catching their mistake in time to get out alive.
Naturally Valerie refused to say anything more, but continued to walk up and down behind her chair like a caged cat.
For several minutes, there was a very tense silence as the men looked to each other for direction, and at her for a hint as to what they'd done wrong. Finally, as The Tyrant had all along, he shook his head, and pronounced her a liar.
This brought more laughter from Valerie. "You called me a liar when I told you I wasn't in your data bank, but I wasn't. You called me a liar when I told you the Sun Ye On were on your land, remember? You said I was trying to cause a diversion when I told you they were going to try to kill me. You've called me a liar before, particularly when I told you I could escape. I did. What kind of fool are you?"
The Tyrant turned livid, but he couldn't very well make an argument with her, and everyone knew it. "Sit down, and be quiet!"
Valerie snorted. "I'd like to see you make me!"
Two of the bodyguards reluctantly stepped forward to force her back in her chair, but they stopped when Valerie shook her head at them. "Think carefully now, what do you value more? Your jobs or you lives?"
Tension went up even more, if it was possible.
"Don't think," she continued, "that I am now incapable of being dangerous in this condition. On the contrary, I'm all the more so, because it will be more difficult to amend my mistakes."
Luckily for them The Tyrant decided to back down before they were forced to make a grab at her. He waved them back to their posts, and gave his attention to the Sun Ye On representatives. "Anyway, getting on with it, will you sign the document?"
On of the men was talking in rapid Chinese over a headset, and frowning and smiling at regular intervals. Finally he turned to The Tyrant. "We will need about four hours to make sure all of our men are off your land. There are an extensive number, and we are afraid it will not only take time to contact them all, but move them out."
After a moment of contemplation, The Tyrant nodded. It probably couldn't be avoided, and so long as they were off in the next five hours he wasn't going to complain. Who knew? It might even be a valid point.
With a flourish, he produced a pen, and held it out to the representative, smiling to himself as the agreement was signed. Of course, the United Nations wasn't going to enforce it, but the underworld had its own presiding peacemakers, and they always wanted to see a copy of a treaty before siding with anyone on anything.
The representative handed back the pen, and everyone rose simultaneously. That part was over. Now came the part in which they all tread cautiously around Madam, waiting for something to blow up.
Very slowly, a few of the Sun Ye On approached her, obviously holding their breaths, and prepared to jump back at the slightest twitch.
Valerie sighed, like a mother might at a naught child, and stopped pacing. "Oh, get on with it! And stop looking at me like I'm going to eat you! I'm only a little girl!"
To everyone's relief, Valerie contented herself with mere fidgeting while the men wrapped her. As she had said, she was even more dangerous now, and they didn't want to risk her running away or kicking anyone. To insure themselves more control, they tugged a child's harness over her head, and attached a little leash. Not that she should be able to walk anyway, but still… Valerie thought this was hilarious.
In the end, she looked remarkably like a baby in a bag. She allowed herself to be picked up and carried without a fight, still laughing.
The Sun Ye On looked rather embarrassed, as a whole. After all their bragging about being able to handle her, they were taking ridiculous measures to secure her, both literally and metaphorically.
The Tyrant wisely said nothing about it. After all, he'd made a bigger fool of himself.
She was carried outside to the helicopter pad and set down while the Sun Ye On talked. The Tyrant's men watched from a distance. There was obvious distrust between the two groups. Over all though, the bargaining had seemed fair. If the Sun Ye on were off Mafia land in four hours, the five assassins that had been captured would be released as well as the body of the sixth.
Helicopters finally appeared overhead, three of them, all military, and landed on the pad. The group quickly split into three, the largest of them escorting Valerie to the middle copter. No chances with her. There had been rumors about her expertise when it came to flight, and…
Valerie was dragged to the back of the copter, and very nicely tided to a support pole. She still didn't seem to be particularly worried about escaping, which pleased them very much. The Tyrant had mentioned something about her plotting revenge, and they assumed that was the reason she was so eager to comply with them.
It was already passed nine and dark. Then men settled comfortably into their seats, and began to chatter quietly. They weren't particularly worried about what Valerie did, which was a mistake as it turned out.
There was a loose nail on the floor, and she could feel it, because it was poking her leg. Valerie was patient. She already had a plan, and she couldn't help but feel that the Sun Ye On had aided her immensely. It was really quite nice of them to provide the harness.
An hour passed, and the chatter ceased as the men began to fall asleep. Valerie shifted quietly, caught the cloth of her wrap on the nail, and began to rip it. Not a huge rip, but definitely big enough for her to continue it later. She leaned back, that done, and appeared to be falling asleep. Actually, she had the knot on the leash in her mouth, and was untying it with her tongue.
It was funny, really. All their precautions, and yet probably the only person awake was the pilot, and he was flying, not guarding her. The knot came undone, and she glanced around. As far as she could tell, all the men were asleep.
Up front, the radio suddenly cackled, startling her, and several of the men awake. Very wisely she shut her eyes and pretended to be asleep, pressing the end of the leash between her and the pole, hoping it would go unnoticed. If not, they would ask someone to stay awake and watch her, and she really wanted to avoid that. It would ruin her escape.
After a moment of yelling at the pilot to turn down the radio, someone leaned over Valerie to check and make sure she was asleep. This was happily confirmed, and the men settled back in their seats, proud of themselves, and full of confidence that she would not escape. They were quite proud of themselves, really. The Sun Ye On did not make stupid, amateur mistakes as the Mafia did. They were really professionals.
Inside, Valerie was laughing at them. What fools they were! The whole world was! To think that she could be restrained by a wrap and a child's harness. Ha. She shook her head slightly, and waited. Patience was vital.
Another hour passed. She needed to get out before much more time passed. She didn't want to be rushing anything at the end.
Carefully she opened her eyes and looked around, pleased to see that everyone was once again asleep. She made the rip in her wrap a little bit wider, until she could pull her feet out of the hole, one at a time, and then turned over onto her back, holding the end of the leash off the floor with her mouth so the metal wouldn't scrape loudly.
Inch by inch, she scooted back to the tail of the copter, through a small maze of boxes. There had to be a rear exit. She smiled as the catch brushed against her shoulder, ignoring the pain. Almost out, Valerie. It was funny, really, to think of their faces.
She turned slowly, biting down hard at the painful pressure this put on her arms. When would this end?
Slowly, she pushed the end of the leash over the metal catch. After checking to see that it was secure, she crawled upright, and pulled back, hoping desperately that there would be no loud clang when the exit popped open. Not now… not after waiting like this.
To her relief, the hinges only went so far, and it stopped before hitting anything.
Valerie moved to the edge, measuring it with her eyes. She doubted any of the men would be able to fit through it, but she could definitely do it. After all, she was a child's size.
She sat down beside it, and worked carefully with her mouth to remove the leash from the catch. It was very important that they didn't know how she'd gotten out of the copter. If they did, they'd be waiting for her better when they landed. Probably catch her too.
The wind was very cold, and she sat there shivering for a few minutes after pulling the leash off the catch. She wondered how long it would be before they landed. Hopefully not too long. Her arms hurt now, they were going to hurt worse, and she was going to get awfully numb up here.
With a sigh, she leaned over, and looked out, squinting at the nearest crossbeam. Luckily for her, they were curled upwards in the back, and should be no trouble hooking onto.
The problem was the distance.
Slowly, she rolled onto her back, and slid her head and her shoulders out, gritting her teeth against the cold. She could probably make it.
She slipped out farther, until she was dangling from her knees. It was ridiculous, really. She was hanging without a safety belt from the rear exit of a helicopter, and no one knew she was here. It was windy, they were a couple thousand feet in the air, it was dark, and it was cold. She thought she felt something wet.
Definitely ridiculous. She couldn't wait to see their reactions. They would be in trouble for sure when they landed. She disappeared wasn't exactly the best excuse to give your boss.
She laughed.
I've never done this before (jumped out of a copter), but I imagine it would be interesting. What do you think?
You who do not review: Your evils will condemn you on the day of judgment. :)
