Chapter 3-Escape!
"Yes," said Ansem, "we can have a slumber party on the plane."
"I don't think you're aloud to do that," said Sora, attempting to calm the ecstatic Ansem. I wish I could be with Riku and Kairi right now. Just then he got an idea. A great idea. A dangerous idea.
-James Bond theme plays-
"Where's that music coming from," inquired Sora.
He turned toward Ansem to see him holding a portable radio.
"Why do you have James bond music?" asked Sora.
"Well, you see-"
"Wait. Before you tell me, does it have anything to do with the heartless."
"Well. . .maybe."
-shifty eyes-
"Well, anyway: I came up with this great idea. When everyone is asleep we sneak up to first class, knock out two passengers, and take their places. Whadda ya think."
"Goodie, Goodie. We get to be spys. Weeeeeeeeeeeee. I can't wait. It's gonna be awesome," shouted Ansem, jumping up and down excitedly.
"Shhhhhhhhhhh. You have to be quiet. But we still have one problem: what do we do about the stewardesses."
"I have an idea."
"Does it involve using heartless to take over the world?" asked Sora, non-enthusiastically.
"Yes."
"Well then we're not using it. For the thousandth time, you can't just kill people to solve your problems. There are other things in the world besides darkness.'
"That's not what mommy told me."
"What are you talking about. Your mother abandoned you when you were born. You were raised by a pack of she-wolves."
"Who told you."
"How stupid can you get! You posted it on your MySpace."
-Blank Look-
"What were we talking about again?"
"Nevermind," Sora scowled.
-Attention. Lights are going out now, please stay in your seats-
The plane instantly turned dark, and people settled into their seats.
"It reminds me of home," Ansem said.
-flashback sequence begins-
"No. No flashbacks. Just. . .Stop talking Ansem."
"Fine," said Ansem, rolling his eyes in disgust.
"What are we going to do about the stewardesses?" asked Sora.
"Don't worry, I've got it covered," said Ansem, rubbing his hands together in happily.
He got up and started walking towards the bathroom.
"Where are you-" Before he could finish Ansem dragged him along with him. "Omigod, where are you taking me. What are you going to do to me." They entered the small bathroom and Ansem shut the door behind them.
"Okay. Now that I have your attention," began Ansem, "I can tell you what I think we should do."
Sora noticed that Ansem had brought along a large black duffel-bag.
"The goods are in the bag," Ansem said, noticing Sora's bemused glance.
"What are you talking about."
"I don't know, I just always wanted to say that," he said, giggling. "Okay," he said unzipping the bag. He pulled out some black suits. They were stereotypical spy clothes. Sora noticed the really cheap materials they were made of.
"Where'd you get these, a thrift store."
"Hey, how'd ya know."
"I'm psychic," he said sarcastically.
"Really! Awesome. Could you read my palms." He stretched out his hand. Sora slapped it away in disgust. "Ow. You gave me an ow-ow."
"Get over yourself."
"Can you please kiss it betta Sowa-kun," Ansem said, lip quivering.
"No I will not. What do I look like, your mommy."
"Well, actually-"
"Are you comparing me to a she-wolf!" Sora cried out angrily.
"Shhhhhh, you'll spoil our plot."
"Whatever, just get into your suit."
After they had put their spy-garb on over their clothes (No they did not change together. I'm a SoraxRiku chipper, thank you very much) they fiddled with the door handle until it came free. Trying to squeeze through the entrance at the same time, they were greeted by a tired-looking man, who was just about to go in the bathroom.
"What the hell were you doing in there!"
"Well. . .ya know," began Sora.
Ansem finished the conversation by whipping out his arm and giving the man the Vulcan Grip.
"Ahhhh," he gasped, falling over.
"Wow. Where'd ya learn that," said Sora, looking at the unconscious man in wonder.
"After many decades of watching Star Trek, and taking cross-country trips to conventions, I have learned the ways of my hero, Mr. Spock and his Vulcan fellows."
"I never knew you were a Trekkie," Sora said, wonderingly.
"It's another one of my sick obsessions."
"Well, lets get going," Sora muttered, with the tone of someone surrounded by crazy people.
He began slink silently forward, making sure to check around him, to see if anyone was awake. He looked behind him, seeing if anything was wrong with Ansem, as there usually was. He stared in disbelief as he saw Ansem on the floor crawling.
"What the-"
He didn't get to finish his sentence as Ansem grabbed his leg and pulled him down, expertly pulling him over to the side at the same time.
"What-," he began but Ansem covered his mouth, quickly. He looked up to see a man approaching them, obviously getting up to go to the bathroom.
Ansem pushed him over to the side and slithered to the isle.
As the man walked up Ansem took out something shiny. Sora could see it glinting in the barely visible moonlight. Omigod, he's gonna kill him, thought Sora. He's finally snapped!(If he hasn't already.)He opened his mouth to scream to the poor victim, but he was to late. With a squishing noise, Ansem jabbed it into the man's thigh.
"Ahh," came his muffled scream as he came down.
Ansem grabbed him and brought him next to Sora.
Barely able to contain his anger Sora blurted out, "Did you just kill him!"
"No. What do you take me for! I just gave him a light sedative. He'll be out for six hours at least."
"How many evil weapons do you own."
"I have a whole room full at home, but I could only cram so many into a suitcase."
He dragged the man back down the isle, put him into the bathroom and shut the door. When he came back, he and Sora continued their tedious march down third class, now on their hands and knees.
They made their way silently and easily into second class, pulling away the curtains to reveal a more furnished isle, with nicer carpeting and noticeably less garbage on the floor.
"That was disgusting," whispered Sora, as he picked little pieces of popcorn and candy out of his gloves. "It was like going through a dumpster."
"Well actually, a long time ago I once had to-"
"Does it have to do with darkness?" asked Sora, already knowing the answer.
"Well. . .it depends."
"On what?"
"On whether or not you can answer my riddle correctly."
"Shoot," said Sora, conceitedly. I got this one in the bag.
"Okay. How many heartless does it take to screw in a light-bulb."
"That's easy. The answer's none, heartless hate light."
"Wrong!"
"Wat!"
"The correct answer is: 1"
"How?"
"Last time I needed a light-bulb replaced I gave one a step-ladder and he screwed it in like a professional."
"You're hopeless!"
"Funny, my mother said the same thing when I was just a little boy."
"For the last time: YOU DON'T HAVE A MOTHER!"
At this Ansem's lip began to quiver, and his eyes glistened in pain. A tear grew on his pupil and dropped down the side of his cheek, staining his dark skin. Sora, seeing that he had distressed his friend tried to console him.
"Don't worry Ansem, I didn't mean it. Please stop crying," his whispered, in his best consoling voice.
"Oh. Don't worry," said Ansem, cheerfully. "I was just thinking about all the times me and mum spent together, before she died," he said, longingly.
"You know what."
"What?"
"I'm not talking to you."
"But. . . why?" Ansem said, tears creeping into his eyes. "I thought we were. . . friends."
"No. I just need you to-" he stopped short as he saw the gaze of Ansem's puppy-dog face staring intently at him. "Uhh, I mean, yeah, sure we're friends."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Pinky promise?"
"Just come on!"
They began moving again, shuffling down the coarse carpet. All was quiet for a while and Sora thought that maybe Ansem was realizing how much of a moron he is, and he can act good after all.
ZAAAPPP
"Ow, what the hell!" Sora screamed, looking behind him to find the source of the sudden shock. He saw Ansem laughing hysterically on the floor. Angry now, he bellowed, "You're stupider than a retarded chicken's food!"
"I'm sorry, it was just so funny."
Sora took out his keyblade and furiously whispered, "Thundaga." A bolt of lightning appeared from above their heads and crashed down on Ansem. Before he could scream Sora smacked him across the face with the keyblade.
Now half unconscious Ansem said, "Okay, okay. Jeez, you can't take a joke."
"Shut up and move," said Sora turning back to Ansem as he said this. When he looked back he found that he was closer to the end of the isle than he thought he ran into the curtain separating 2nd and 3rd class. "Ahhhhh, it's eating me. Helllppppppppp."
"Don't worry Sora, I'll help you." Ansem charged up to the curtain and took out his keyblade. He began mercilessly beating the curtain and yelling, "Don't worry Sora, I'll save you."
After every swing Sora yelled, "Ow," and thinking it was the evil curtain writhed around even more.
The whole thing was just a huge mess, sounding more like a slasher movie than a rescue. But for story purposes nobody wakes up during the event. So just. . . yeah. So Sora was now extremely bruised and battered, but they had managed to get the curtain off after half an hour of screams and death calls.
"I'm going to need therapy for life now, and it's all your fault."
-Sora's therapy mini-chapter-
Sora walked into the stale smelling room and glanced around. After several minutes a man with a clipboard sitting on a couch in the middle of the room made himself known.
"Over here," he muttered, waving around his hand.
"Oh, hi," said Sora walking towards him. He sat down on a couch similar to the one the man was sitting on and gazed at him blankly. A clock ticked furiously back and forth, producing the only sound in the room. Sora was still intent on awkwardly glancing at the therapist.
"So. . .uh. . .what's your problem?"
Sora didn't answer, but still gazed at the man. The therapist started getting nervous and a bead of sweat dropped from his temple.
"You're nervous aren't you?" Sora pointed out in the deepest voice possible.
"I can't take it," yelled the therapist. He threw the clipboard across the room and ran towards the window. He crashed head-first through it and disappeared with a cry of "Finally!"
Sora quietly got up and went over to the therapist's desk. He opened on of the drawers and took out a wallet. "Yes, food for week!" he cried jumping around. He exited the room and after a few seconds he came back in to take a cool pen the man had left on his desk. "Cool, four colors. He again ran out of the building.
-end-
As Sora and Ansem stepped into 2nd class they heard footsteps approach them out of the darkness.
And at that same instant the curtain thought, "Those foolish humans. They have escaped my grasp this time, but not for long. Oh. . .not for long. -Maniacly laughs-
Next Chapter- Reunited(Oh please no!)
