I didn't notice the new people in District 12 until there were already too many of them.

Yelling penetrated the thick fog of my nightmares, and I woke clutching my chest.

"Peeta!" I grabbed his arm while I assessed the room in a panic. "Who's here? Who found us?"

He rested his hand against my racing heart. "Katniss. Listen."

My hand trembled on his arm for a moment, but I tried to focus on the sound. I hadn't heard it in so long, it was just as terrifying as bombs and screams of horror.

"Is that... children?" I felt silly even suggesting it.

He nodded and rose from the bed. I followed him, finally feeling even slightly grounded in my awakened body again. We stopped at the window and peered out between the curtains.

Sure enough, three children were outside our house. Two boys, and one girl. They were prancing around in circles, shoving each other, singing, making noise, and taking up space like they had every right in the world.

I didn't even know where to start. "What are they doing here? Whose are they?"

Peeta waited for a minute before responding. "People are coming back. I thought you noticed."

I turned away from the window. The sunlight was almost too much. I knew I'd turned into a recluse. I'd lost so many pieces of the person I used to be. Any time I stepped outside, I felt like my very soul would shatter into a million shards. Like fresh air itself was poison.

I relied on Peeta to be my eyes and ears. I never thought our roles would change like that, but I had so little say in how I could handle my life in this quivering bud of a new world. No Snow. No Games. No Prim. I would never be able to reconcile the old Katniss again.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I scraped my hands over my face. "Anyone we know?"

I tried to keep the question casual. I wasn't foolish enough to think Peeta and I would ever have anyone back whom we used to love. Except for each other.

"Valerian and her family," he responded. "Her husband's dead. And so is her daughter. But one of those boys is hers."

We'd gone to school with Valerian. Another dirty Seam kid, just like me. Who knows how she survived. The rebellion had been just as brutal to District 12 as every Reaping. I didn't know she even had a husband.

"Oh," I finally said.

After I killed Coin, Peeta and I retreated to the only home we'd ever known. The Victor's Village was the only thing still standing, and it was in shambles at that.

All of Peeta's, Haymitch's, and my belongings were ransacked. Doors and windows were left open, so the rooms were filled with dust and ash. Animals had invaded, and done what nature always does.

But Peeta and I found refuge in what used to be my home with my mother and Prim. No one cared that we weren't actually married. There were no cameras. No Peacekeepers. No other living people at all.

And now, there were children.

"I've started a bad habit of giving them sweets," Peeta admitted. He watched me like I was a spooked, but dangerous, animal. "So now they expect it every day."

Even while the country was a broken disaster, we'd received parcels of food in the center of the Victor's Village. I didn't know if it was my mother, old friends, connections from the Capitol, or even another country dropping us supplies. I didn't ask questions.

Peeta always fed me. Whatever they provided, he could turn into something delicious that somehow gave us the strength to face another day. There was always a touch of magic in anything Peeta baked. And now these damned children were addicted to him, too. I couldn't blame them.

"Maybe I should go hunting today." I stalked over to the dresser and yanked open a drawer. I still had all of the stupid clothes from the Capitol. Not even desperate looters wanted them.

I yanked a pair of black pants and a green knitted sweater over my naked body. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Peeta's shocked expression.

I hadn't hunted in months. Hadn't even touched a bow since I killed Coin. I didn't need to, not with our nameless gifts and Peeta's diligence.

"I can come with you," he offered. Despite everything, Peeta was still soft in some deep part of him. Even though we'd seen so many deaths - and caused too many, at that - his brow knitted together at the sight of a fallen deer.

That softness was sometimes the one piece of this world I could cling to.

"I don't know what I'm thinking. There's no way there's any game here. No animal could survive those bombings." I yanked the shirt back off. "That was stupid."

Peeta's eyes met mine. I almost looked away, but he caught my chin and turned my face back to his. "I've seen some rabbits," he offered. "Whenever you're ready."

It was so much more than just hunting. I was desperate to recover any part of the girl I'd once been, but she didn't fit anywhere. While hunting had been her sanctuary, it was born out of necessity. Of starvation.

Now, it would just be killing for sport.

"They ask about you, sometimes," he murmured, lowering his lips to my forehead. "No one's sure if you're even real. The girl on fire. The Mockingjay."

I closed my eyes, half at his tenderness and half from the pain of remembering everyone those people thought I was. "Is she real? Or not real?"

"Not real," his mouth found mine, and warmth spread to the core of my body. "But I love my Katniss so much more than her."

His hands found my thighs and swiftly picked me up, setting me on the dresser so our faces were level with each others. His mouth explored mine with a different desperation than when he'd kissed me the first time, so many years ago now.

Then, he kissed me like we were both drowning. Like our lives depended on it. Like he had one more minute with me before the entire world erupted into flames.

Now, we had a different kind of urgency. It was as if I might crumble into dust at any moment. As if he didn't devour all of me right this moment, there was a chance he wouldn't be able to spend every day for the rest of his life doing exactly that.

His lips traveled over my cheek, across my jaw, and down my throat. Every nerve in my body was on fire. I arched my hips closer to his. But he always held me at arm's length, until he was ready to pour all of himself into me. I never called the shots. And that was the most blissful relief I'd ever found.

"I love you." The words were almost too quiet for me to hear, murmured against the pale skin of my breast.

"And I love you." My voice hitched when he took my nipple in his mouth. It felt too good to be right. There had to be some catch, some ultimatum I couldn't see yet.

But he opened my thighs with the gentleness of a spring breeze. A cry escaped from my mouth as his hand met my core.

"Shh!" He laughed against my skin. "I just told you, we're not alone in the world anymore."

I shot my hand to my mouth while my head reeled back. "Sorry. Please don't stop."

Neither of us had any formal schooling on the matter. District 12 sex education was having to share a bedroom with your parents all your life.

But the way that Peeta touched me, I had to believe he'd been born with the knowledge of my body written on his heart. It was the only time I felt truly free of my thoughts, and that was a debt to him that I could never repay.

"Please." I never liked to beg, but that was always just what he wanted from me.

"I thought you were supposed to go hunting," he murmured, his hand moving at the same rate as his measured words.

There were fireworks behind my eyes. "We agreed that was stupid," I gasped. "Now I need you."

I swear he loved the game of it. Making me say out loud just how much I wanted him. He'd earned it, after everything I'd put him through.

Finally, his strong hands found my thighs again and he carried me to our mattress on the floor. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him as close as possible.

I knew we were reckless. We didn't have the proper safety measures, but I could no sooner stop taking Peeta inside me than I could stop breathing.

"What's it been, four hours?" He teased me, his hand skirting around my inner thigh while I writhed beneath him. "You can't be that desperate again already."

It was a rare night that I didn't wake him up for sex, both of us still caught in the throes of sleep, clashing together in the darkness without ever opening our eyes.

But every morning, without fail, I needed him again. First came the nightmares, second came wanting Peeta. It was the only pattern that never changed.

"Stop teasing me." I reached between his legs, but he was already fully ready for me. "How many times do I need to ask? This is much easier when you're half-asleep too, I swear."

He laughed into my hair. I thought I would die when he ran himself up and down my entrance. "When have I ever not given you what you asked of me?"

Finally, he slid inside of me. Our bodies fit together like a perfectly crafted bow and its arrow, notching in the exact spot with ease. Like it had been created for that very moment.

I didn't think I could ever be satisfied. Even by him. But our hips moved in unison, with his face buried in my neck and his hands gripping mine like I'd fall into hell at any moment and he'd lose me forever.

As soon as he started to finish, he brought his hand back between my legs and I instantly reeled over the edge. Just seeing his moment of relief always triggered my own. My body was still a complete mystery to me, but somehow Peeta understood it better than I could.

Once the warm glow of lovemaking faded, my mind sunk back into the cold fog that was in its default state. Peeta wrapped his arms around me to fill in the gaps, but it was no use. Once we were both finished, so was that brief glimpse of peace.

"I really don't want a baby," I whispered. I was afraid that if I said the words out loud, it would make my fear real. But talking to Peeta was so much better than staying trapped in the labyrinth of my own mind.

"I know," he murmured, stroking my hair away from my face. "I know, Katniss. I wish there was more I could do."

Every time he swiftly pulled out of me right at climax, the raw, stupid part of me deep down felt cheated of what it wanted. To fully, completely have Peeta, and let him have me too.

But the risk wasn't worth it. Even so, it tempted me more every day to just not care if he finished inside of me. Surely, the human race would have died out centuries ago without these biological fallacies.

"I don't know if I ever can," I whispered, and he tightened around me. "And I hate that I might not even have a choice."

He nodded. "I know. But we've been safe so far. And now that the country's starting to build, hopefully, we can find a more long-term solution."

His solutions hurt even more than my fear. It wasn't what he wanted at all, but still, he would do it for me. "You're not going to resent me, years from now? If I never want to? If I can't?"

"Katniss." I sat up on his elbow to look down at my face. "You are my entire world. And if it's just the two of us from now until the day we die, that will be more than I ever deserved."

I wanted to believe him. I really did.