CHAPTER 25: THE RAT
The Rose Bedroom
Thomas opened the bedroom door and stepped aside to allow Novello to enter first. "Here you are, Mr Novello, the rose bedroom. I hope you'll be comfortable." Thomas carried in Novello's suitcases. "Shall I unpack and prepare your clothes for the remainder of the day, sir?"
"If that's what you do." Novello gazed about the room and settled himself on a chair. "Am I to understand that you're the butler here, Barrow?"
"Yes, Mr Novello." Thomas had been careful not to stare at Novello, but he'd seen enough to know that Novello was even more delicious in person than he was on the screen.
"You don't look like any butler I've seen."
"Sir?"
"The butlers I've seen are portly and bald, to say the least."
"I haven't been a butler for very long, Mr Novello. And times are changing."
"They certainly are. If you're a sample of the new breed, I'll have to get a butler straight away."
Thomas was flattered that Novello was flirting with him. He couldn't deny that he was enjoying it, but he had known men such as Novello in his younger days, men who were free with their sexuality and flit from one relationship to the next. That wasn't for him. Sex had never been casual for him. Perhaps Lord Grantham was right. Perhaps he was a romantic.
Novello watched Thomas unpack his belongings. "So you help me dress and undress?"
"It's the valet's job to provide whatever assistance is required, Mr Novello, and I'm your valet during your stay."
"I'm certain I'll need all sorts of assistance, Barrow. Is that what I'm to call you?"
"Yes, Mr Novello."
"Not Thomas?"
"In this house, I'm Barrow, sir."
"Hullo, Barrow."
"I beg your pardon, Mr Novello, but I found this bottle of perfume in your bag. If you're intending to present it as a gift, I would be pleased to have it wrapped for you."
Novello stood and approached Thomas. "What makes you think it's a gift, Barrow?"
"Isn't it perfume, sir?"
"That's right, Barrow."
"Then isn't it for a woman?"
Novello laughed pleasantly and took the bottle from Thomas. "This is Le Tabac Blond. I'll tell you a secret, Barrow. It was created for men, but men were afraid to wear it, so it's sold to women instead. Now I ask you, Barrow, why should men be afraid to wear perfume?" Novello removed the stopper and held the bottle under Thomas' nose. "Do you like it?"
Thomas sniffed politely. "Very nice."
"Nice? That's my error." Novello covered the opening with his finger and tipped the bottle. "You can't get the full effect from the bottle. Perfume has to mix with a man's body chemistry to achieve its allure." Novello drew his scented finger across his wrist and then rubbed his wrists together. Thomas was intrigued. "It takes about 20 minutes to develop fully, but you can get the idea." He held his wrist up to Thomas' nose. "What do you think?"
Thomas sniffed again and employed the wine tasting skill he had been developing with Carson. "It's leather, isn't it, and some type of flower and ... vanilla and tobacco. It's ..." Thomas wanted to say enticing but thought better of it. "It's pleasing."
"Would you like to try it, Barrow?"
Thomas wanted very much to try it but remained sensible. "I don't believe that Downton is ready for a butler who wears perfume, Mr Novello."
Novello planted his hand on the wall so that he was leaning close to Thomas. "Why are you hiding in the hinterlands, Barrow? A man with your chiselled features could be happy in London."
"I'm happy here, sir."
"Are you really? It seems deadly dull to me."
"To each his own, Mr Novello."
"So I hear. Tell me, Barrow, do you like to dance?"
"I do, sir."
"Have you ever seen two men tango?"
"No, Mr Novello," answered Thomas as he tried to picture it, "but it's something I'd like to see."
"That's the sort of entertainment you could enjoy at the right club in London. I don't imagine you'll ever see it in Downton."
"Probably not, sir."
"I could show you." With one quick movement, Novello pressed himself against Thomas, slipped his arm around Thomas' back, and turned him into the centre of the room. "How's that?"
"You're quite the expert, Mr Novello." Novello was now between Thomas and the door, and Thomas knew he had lost control of the situation. He stepped out of Novello's hold so he could walk around him to the door. "I've laid out your clothes for tea, sir, but they require pressing."
Novello playfully stepped in front of Thomas to block him. "What else have you laid out for me?"
"What else do you require, sir?" As soon as Thomas said it, he wished he could withdraw it.
"What do you think?"
Again Thomas tried to sidestep Novello. "I think I must attend to the pressing if you're to be ready for tea, sir."
Again Novello blocked him. "Let the wrinkles be damned."
"If you make an appearance at tea in wrinkled clothing, Mr Novello, it will reflect poorly on me." Thomas stepped to the left, and when Novello moved to block him, he quickly stepped to the right and then passed by Novello.
Thomas was quick, but Novello was quicker. As Thomas passed, Novello laughed and grabbed Thomas' left wrist. He pulled Thomas' arm to the side and turned so that he was pressed against Thomas' back. He gripped Thomas firmly about the waist with his right arm and began taking small swaying steps in a circle, rotating Thomas with him so that Thomas' back was to the door. Once again Novello was between Thomas and the door. "You're the butler, Barrow. Order someone else to press my clothes."
Thomas was beginning to panic. "They're all busy with their own duties, sir. That wouldn't be right."
Novello brought his mouth close to Thomas' ear. "I'm crushed, Barrow. I thought you were mine for the day ... and night."
Thomas required a different tactic. "You've been wearing the perfume for a while. May I have another go?"
Novello dropped his hands, allowing Thomas to turn so they were face-to-face. "I knew you liked it." He held up his right wrist for Thomas to sniff. Thomas smiled and took Novello's wrist in his hand. He bent his head down as though to take a sniff and quickly pulled Novello's arm forward to force him off balance. Before Novello could react, Thomas was pinning his twisted arm to his back.
Novello laughed nervously. "I suppose I should have told you, Barrow, but I don't like rough play."
Thomas was not certain how to proceed. He only wanted to leave the room without incident, but it seemed too late for that.
"Let go, Barrow, you're hurting me."
"I'm sorry, sir. I only want to leave."
"Then leave!" Thomas pulled Novello closer to the door. He let go and turned to flee, but tripped over the suitcase that he had left near the door. His face hit the door, and then he fell onto his left arm. He lay there for a moment stunned.
"Good god, man! What the hell's the matter with you?" Novello realized that Thomas might be hurt. "Here, let me help you."
"Don't touch me!" Thomas scrambled to his feet. He tried to feel for the doorknob without turning his back on Novello.
"Barrow, listen to me. If you leave this room looking like that, it won't be good for either of us. Your mouth is bleeding."
"It's nothing."
"But it doesn't look like nothing!" Novello backed up to the wall opposite the door. "Look, Barrow. I'll keep my distance. Please wait a moment and collect yourself. See, I'm sitting."
Thomas was uncertain. He leaned on the wall next to the door so he could make a quick escape if necessary.
"I don't understand what happened here, Barrow. If you weren't interested in me, why didn't you say so?"
"I did."
"No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did, sir."
"Think, Barrow! Think and tell me what you said that should have alerted me."
"I said ..." Thomas couldn't remember. "Well, I certainly didn't say anything to encourage you!"
"No, you didn't, but someone else did!"
"What?"
"I was told that there had been a footman at Downton Abbey by the name of Thomas Barrow. If he was still there, it would be worth my while to make his acquaintance as he was a fine figure of a lad and a very good sport."
Thomas was horrified. "Who would tell you such a thing?"
Novello shrugged. "I was at a party last night, and I mentioned that I would be staying here. A friend of mine had brought an acquaintance of his." He closed his eyes and tried to picture the participants in the conversation. "Philip something, that was it. He was titled ... what was it ... not an earl ..."
Thomas felt sick. "A duke?"
"That's right. A duke."
"Did he tell you that we hadn't seen each other since well before the war?"
Novello was surprised. "No, he didn't."
"I am not a very good sport, Mr Novello. Our relationship was serious. At least, I thought so at the time. I was only 19."
"You must understand, Barrow, I only knew what he told me. I was curious about you, and when I saw you ... well, you must know that you're an attractive man. It's true that you didn't encourage me, but after what this Duke fellow said, I thought you were toying with me. Please believe me, Barrow."
Thomas was trying to cope with the news that the Duke of Crowborough was spreading a nasty rumour about him. Why would he do that? How many people had he told?
"Barrow? Surely you don't think that I would have tried to force you! Why would I? I can't walk down the street without every bent boy in town throwing himself at me."
Thomas looked at Novello with disgust. He smoothed his hair and turned to the door.
"I'm sorry, Barrow. I didn't mean to be crude. But good god, man, I can't have you thinking I'm a rapist. It's horrible! I've never forced a man in my life. Where would the pleasure be in that?"
Thomas turned to Novello expecting to see arrogance. Instead, he saw concern.
"Please sit, Barrow. You're looking a bit pale."
Thomas relented and sat again on the edge of the bed. "Mr Novello, I'm not an acquaintance or a friend. I'm a servant. It's my duty to attend to your needs, and I'm dependent on your honourable behaviour."
"You make me feel small, Barrow."
"I beg your pardon, Mr Novello. That is not my intention."
"I suppose not." They sat in silence for a moment. "Barrow, may I ask you a question."
"Yes, sir."
"Have you ever seen one of my movies?"
"I saw The Rat, Mr Novello. I especially liked the Apache dance."
"There, you see?"
"No, sir. What?"
"Men who like the Apache dance usually like me!"
Thomas smiled to himself. Who would have thought that movies actors could be insecure. "Mr Novello, are you asking me why I didn't ... submit to your advances?" Novello nodded. "It's not always about the man, Mr Novello. Sometimes it's about the type of relationship being offered."
Novello smiled. "Wisely said, Barrow. Are you quite all right now?"
Thomas stood. "I'm fine, Mr Novello. I'll attend to the pressing now."
"Wait, Barrow, please. May we begin again?"
"Sir?"
Novello stood and cautiously approached Thomas. "Hullo there. I'm Ivor Novello. I'm a charming and seductive movie star. And you are ...?"
Thomas laughed in spite of himself. "I'm Thomas Barrow. I'm the youthful but restrained butler of this fine estate and your valet during your stay."
Novello extended his hand. "I'm pleased to meet you, Barrow. 'Restrained' you say. Does that mean you engage only in serious relationships?"
Thomas shook Novello's hand. "Yes, Mr Novello. I'm seeking something permanent."
"Then you would be wise to spurn my advances, Barrow, as I am terrified of the word, permanent. There's nothing worse than when two men have different expectations of a relationship. Don't you agree?"
Thomas smiled. "Wisely said, Mr Novello." Novello laughed. Thomas began to collect Novello's clothes for pressing.
"Are you taking my entire wardrobe?"
"Only what you'll need for tea this afternoon, dinner tonight, and your outing tomorrow. And your shoes will need polishing."
"Barrow, take this, too." Novello handed Barrow his card. "I travel quite a bit, but if you're ever in London, give me a ring. If I'm in town, I'd love to show you around. No strings attached, I promise. It would be enough of a romp to strut about with you on my arm."
"You flatter me, Mr Novello." Thomas put Novello's card in his pocket.
"Look, Barrow. They're all going to notice your lip and the bruise on your face. Let me take the blame. I'll say that I stupidly moved one of the suitcases out of my way without warning you, and you turned and tripped over it."
"That's kind of you, Mr Novello."
"It's the least I can do. I feel quite the boor."
"Not at all, sir. I understand how you were misled."
"Let me make it up to you, Barrow. There must be something I can do."
"That's not necessary, Mr Novello." Thomas picked up the clothes and shoes and headed for the door. He stopped and turned to Novello. "Pardon me, sir, but there is one small thing you could do."
"So soon?" Novello laughed. "How much is this going to cost me?"
"Nothing at all and you may enjoy it, Mr Novello." Thomas explained his small request to Novello, and Novello smiled.
"That sounds like a good giggle! When I'm leaving tomorrow, you say?"
"Yes, sir." They shook hands on the bargain, and Thomas went about his business.
