2008
Sunnydale, California
1630 Revello Drive: Living Room
Buffy sat on the couch, hands pushed together and between her knees, staring vacantly in front of her. She couldn't figure out how to fix her world that was steadily disintegrating around her.
She had struggled with this choice for months since she was adamant that it wouldn't go the same way as her parents' demise. There was nothing left of her marriage to save, no matter what she did or how hard she tried.
In an attempt to soothe her anxiety, she took a slow, deep breath, but it was ineffective. Nothing about this felt right. The small, persistent voice in her head screamed at her, demanding to know what she was doing.
Standing from the couch, Buffy began towards the stairs after gently letting out the breath she had been holding.
She felt intimidated as she stared up the stairs, which seemed interminable and steeper than the slope on Bradford Street in San Francisco.
Buffy began to climb the stairs, placing one hand on the railing made of stained pine wood. Every step she took felt like she was carrying a brick of regret on her feet.
Closing her eyes, Buffy summoned all of her bravery. Reaching the top of the stairs, Buffy pushed through the half-closed master bedroom door.
A few pieces of clothing were haphazardly strewn on the arm of a chair that was situated in the left corner of the neat bedroom.
Her estranged husband, Xander Harris, was standing on the opposite side of the large bed with an open suitcase in front of him.
Their romance's beginnings could be traced back to one wild night of debauchery. When their relationship started, pretty much everyone they knew was shocked. Although Buffy's motivations for dating one of her closest friends were hotly contested, it was known that Xander had a long-standing affection for the Vampire Slayer.
They spent the first seven years of their marriage happily raising their young son, attending PTA meetings, working regular jobs, and saving the world at night, effectively ignoring the cracks in their seemingly solid foundation. By the eighth year, their marriage was completely broken.
Their disagreements became screaming matches, spitting words they never meant and always regretted. They would put on a happy façade in front of their son and their friends despite their misery.
Buffy and Xander came together at night despite their ferocious arguments, which invariably ended with slamming doors. While their relationship has retained its passion, their happiness has shrivelled.
Even while the sex was fantastic, it couldn't hold the marriage together.
Buffy and Xander agreed to separate for a few months after a lengthy and agonising discussion standing across from one another in the kitchen while their son played on the swingset in the backyard.
"That's it for now." He rubbed the back of his neck as he spoke. "I'll come back for the rest of my things another day."
"Where will you go?" Buffy entered the bedroom after pausing in the doorway, arms folded over her chest.
"Willow is letting me crash on her couch until I find an apartment." He said while carefully observing her expression.
She lowered her eyes to the floor and said, "Okay."
Xander imitated her posture, crossing his arms, and he lowered his gaze to the picture of their beaming eight-year-old that was displayed in a frame on the nightstand. "What do we tell Josh? He's going to have questions."
"We tell him the truth. That you and I need some time apart to… figure things out." She tried to read his thoughts as she stared at him.
"Right." Xander nodded, despising this idea since it would only make matters worse. "Figure things out."
"You'll have him Friday to Sunday." She stated flatly. "I can pick him up at Willow's in the evening."
"Or I can drop him off."
Buffy agreed with a nod. "Fine."
The pair stood motionless across the bedroom, staring at one other, mentally struggling with themselves to say everything that sorely needed to be spoken, such as 'I love you' and 'I forgive you.'
The sound of the front door opening downstairs and their eight-year-old son's squeaky voice shouting at them broke their lingering gaze.
"Mom? Dad? We're back!" Josh's voice echoed up the stairwell.
Buffy was the first to pull her gaze away from his. "We should go downstairs." Her encircling arms tightened across her slender body.
"Time to face the music."
Buffy averted her gaze to the ground and exited the room, leaving Xander staring after her.
He rubbed his exhausted face with his palm. His chest clenched, creating a knot. Xander shifted his focus to the nightstand, quickly stealing the framed picture of himself, Buffy, and their son sitting together as a family on a lovely afternoon at the park.
He zipped the suitcase shut after placing it inside face down and carried it out of the bedroom by its side handle.
Xander halted outside the bedroom door for a second. He swallowed as he cast a glance back inside from over his shoulder and closed the door softly.
As Xander descended the stairs, he overheard Buffy speaking with Tara and Willow. While Xander packed his belongings, the Wiccans had taken Josh out to keep him away from the home.
He glanced into the living room to discover Josh already rummaging through his toy chest for a certain Hot Wheels vehicle that was hidden at the bottom of the chest.
Buffy asked, "Can we have a minute?" after glancing at Xander before focusing on Willow and Tara.
"Sure," Willow nodded as she cast a compassionate glance towards the estranged couple.
"W-we'll go." Tara stuttered anxiously.
Buffy responded, "Thanks for watching him," with a pinched smile on her face.
"It's nothing," Willow answered as she took a step towards the front door.
As he watched the two witches leave the house, Xander set the luggage at his feet in the entryway. The house served as the major setting for his most cherished memories. He and Buffy had become a true family, raising their son in this home. Under this roof, there have been countless happy and beautiful moments that Xander clutched to his heart.
This was also the primary set of Xander's absolute darkest memories. Buffy discovered the body of her mother in the living room. Some of their most heated arguments took place directly in front of him in the foyer. He and Buffy agreed to separate in the kitchen.
Following Buffy into the living room, Xander had been dreading this moment. "Hey, bud, your mom and I need to talk to you."
Josh stood up straight after delving inside the toy chest Xander had created for him before he was born. He turned to face his parents while clutching the toy automobile in his little hand. Josh followed instructions and approached them.
"Have a seat, sweetheart," Buffy whispered, lowering herself to Josh's eye level.
Josh took a small step back until the backs of his knees touched the edge of the coffee table and sat down.
"I got Superman ice cream with extra, extra rainbow sprinkles and a ton of cherries!" Josh felt something terrible in the air and decided to prolong whatever it was by exaggerating how wonderful his outing was with his aunts. "Aunt Willow said I couldn't finish it, but I proved her wrong! It was awesome. Aunt Tara looked like she was gonna barf." He chuckled, recalling how green his Aunt Tara turned when he ate the mountain of ice cream in one sitting.
Buffy gave him a sorrowful look and stroked his knee. "I'm glad you had a good time with your aunts."
Josh turned his head to look at the luggage near the entrance. "Are we going somewhere? I've got school tomorrow."
After exchanging glances, Buffy and Xander turn their focus back to the bewildered eight-year-old.
Xander crouched down in front of Josh while exhaling heavily. "You're not going anywhere, kiddo," he told the child after pausing briefly. "I am."
Josh's brows furrowed in perplexity. "What'd you mean? Where're you going?"
Xander nervously massaged his chin. "Your mom and I… um…" He struggled to find the right words to express the new circumstance as he stumbled, "Well, we're..."
"Honey," Xander was quite relieved when Buffy intervened. "Your dad and I are going to be spending some time apart." Josh turned to face her as she clasped his hand in hers.
Josh's expectant little face collapsed in dismay, Buffy's heart felt as if it were shattering. She had anticipated that this talk would be difficult, but the look on his face was heartbreaking.
"What does that mean?" He asked.
"It means, your dad will living elsewhere for a little while." Buffy gently explained.
"What? Why?" Josh's dark brown eyes welled up.
"Because we need to." Buffy wished she could skip ahead to the bit when she and Xander reconcile and everything returns to normal. But she could not forward time. Buffy was barely holding on by a thread as it is.
Josh's lower lip quivered as tears escaped from the corners of his eyes. "Did I do something wrong?"
Shaking her head, Buffy wanted to wrap him in her arms. "No, sweetheart, no. This is not your fault. You did nothing wrong. We love you so much." Her hand holding his hand tightened.
"That's never gonna change," Xander commented while wiping Josh's tears from his cheek.
"You'll see dad on the weekends. He'll pick you up from school on Friday and you'll be with him until Sunday night." Buffy explained.
"This is temporary," Xander said, feeling Buffy's gaze on him.
Josh stared silently between his parents for a long time, expecting them to shake him out of this nightmare, but it never came. This was real.
Buffy and Xander waited for Josh to say something—anything. His deafening quiet was agonising.
"Can I go over to Tommy's house?" Josh asked, piercing the uneasy hush.
"Sure," he said while massaging the back of his neck.
Josh slid off of the coffee table and walked into the foyer when Buffy called out to him. "Come back at six for dinner." She told him.
Josh nodded and opened the tall front door. He hurried outside, shutting the door behind him, and dashed down the porch steps to seek refuge at his friends across the street.
Buffy and Xander got to their feet alone in the home, unsure what to say.
"That went—"
"So how does the mature plan go?" Buffy cut him off mid-sentence.
Xander held his hands on his hips and let out a sigh. "Um, we stay in touch."
"Okay." She nodded.
Xander looked at her for a few seconds more before turning away and returning to the foyer, picking up the bag near the front entrance. When Buffy's words reached his ears, he carefully started to open the door after wrapping his hand around the doorknob.
"We have a progress report meeting with Joshua's teacher on Thursday." She told him. "Please be there."
"I will be. Be careful on patrol tonight."
"You know me," Buffy said, folding her arms.
"I do." Buffy was put on edge by Xander's serious tone.
"I'll be careful." She assured him.
Xander opened the door wider, "Bye."
"Bye." Buffy quietly replied, watching Xander step outside onto the porch. He went to the Toyota Corolla parked in the driveway next to the Jeep Cherokee as she walked up to the door with her eyes fixated on his back.
She shut the front door and leaned back against it, burying her face sorrowfully in her hands.
1999
Sunnydale, California
Downtown: The Bronze
The bass of the live rock music rattled the walls. On the dance floor, a large group of young people were crammed together. The nightclub was lit up with bright blue and red lights.
Xander emerged from the dark curtained supply room leading to the backstage area, carrying two plastic crate boxes stacked on top of one another packed with bottles of alcohol.
He was hired as a bartender at Scooby's favourite hangout, the Bronze. Xander's job consisted of carrying supplies and cleaning off countertops rather than bartending. In his two weeks at the local nightclub, the most bartending he's actually done was pouring a few beers.
Xander turned his head as he placed the heavy crates on the bar counter to see Buffy standing nearby, most likely waiting for him.
He glanced at her; she was dressed in a scarlet slip top that highlighted her flawless golden complexion and a black midi skirt with knee-high boots. Her long, luscious blonde hair had been straightened and cascaded down her back.
Buffy Summers will always be the most gorgeous woman he's ever seen, no matter how good of friends they are.
"Hey, Buffy," Xander said as Buffy slid onto a stool at the bar. "How'd patrolling go?"
Holding her chin in the palm of her hand, Buffy huffed. "It was dead—even for the undead." Her gaze shifted to Xander, and the edges of her mouth curled up in a smile. He wore a light blue button-up shirt with a white wife beater tank underneath, baggy khaki slacks, and a hand towel tucked into his belt. "Check you out. You look like a real bartender."
Xander shyly pushed back his dark floppy hair. "They let me carry the towel around," he said, motioning to the towel on his belt, "and occasionally I get to throw people out."
"You know there's more to it than wiping and kicking. Mixing drinks for instance."
"Well," Xander shrugged, "I've seen Cocktail. I can do the hippy-hippy shake."
Buffy looked down at her hands and shrugged with a sad expression. "Well, even if I've had a pretend cigarette I couldn't tell you my pretend problems. The real ones have clogged up my headspace."
Xander moved the container out of the way and rested his elbows on the bar counter. "You wanna talk about it?"
"Not really." She sulked. "What is it with men?" In an abrupt question, Buffy glared at Xander.
"As a breed, we're rather stupid." Halfheartedly, Xander's head bobbed up and down.
"Pigs." She stated with venom in her voice. Buffy sighed. "Not you. You're not a pig. You're the exact opposite. You're sweet. You're Xander."
Xander smiled.
"You're the exception. But the rest of you… Parker's a pig. Ugh, I feel like an idiot." She buried her face in her hands.
"Buffy…"
Buffy drew her head back, her gaze fixed on Xander. "It's just… Parker's problem with intimacy turns out to be that he can't get enough of it. And knew it. I knew what he was."
"You gotta stop being so hard on yourself." He gave her a sympathetic look while subtly harbouring the desire to track down Parker and brutally dismember him.
"Let me tell you, there are two kinds of men. The first doesn't actually like women, just wants to assert power over them, but the second is far more dangerous. Because the second kind of man genuinely falls in love every night, only to fall straight out of it the next morning. That's Parker. "
"Where do I fall?" He inquired, genuinely intrigued.
"You, Xander Harris, are your own breed," Buffy said while holding out her hand for him to accept. "You march with your own set of drums."
Xander took her hand in his and squeezed it. "Parker never deserved you. If he did… Well, let's just say any man that leaves you is an idiot."
Buffy's gaze lingered for a bit too long on him. Without trying, Xander could be a real charmer when he abandoned his customary geeky goofiness. "You're not so bad with the words."
Xander grinned broadly before lowering his head timidly. "What kind of friend would I be if I couldn't give you a good hyping up every now and then."
A peculiar silence flowed over them as the boisterous music and conversation vanished into the distance.
Buffy snapped from her trance and decided she didn't want to think about sleazy Parker Abrams. "Enough about me and my woes. Tell me about this new girl. What's her name?"
"Anya," Xander responded, still unsure how he felt about the ex-demon attempting to enter his life.
"Yeah, Anya." Buffy nodded having a vague memory of the ex-demon. "So, how's that going?"
To occupy his restless hands, Xander shrugged before removing the towel from his belt and wiping the counter in front of him. "I don't know. We've only gone out a few times. She's okay and all, but…"
"Something's missing?"
"I think so." Xander felt like a complete louse. He liked Anya; she was all he could desire in a woman, except for her old schtick of being a vengeance demon, but besides that, she was great. Anya desired him and was interested in him, which was unusual for him. "She's beautiful and funny and any guy's dream girl—as long as they don't mind the whole ex-demon thing, but…" He looked at the blonde.
"She's not your dream girl?"
Xander's jaw clenched and shook his head, his mood worsening. "I might be an idiot 'cause for some reason she likes me."
"I'm not surprised. Any girl would be lucky to have you." She gave him a sweet smile, and for a few seconds, his fixed gaze caused her stomach to strangely flip-flop.
"Ahem." Xander cleared his throat, realising he had been looking at her for far too long. "Can I get you something to drink?"
"I'm feeling something strong."
"How," Xander put his hands on the bar counter, "'bout a rum and Coke?" The stern expression on Buffy's face caused the corners of his mouth to twitch upwards into a widening smile. "O-kay, she wants something stronger…" he faced the arranged liquor bottles on the shelf behind him, "... Uh… Let's see… How 'bout a shot of something?"
"If I do a shot, will you do one with me? Or will that get you into trouble?" She asked.
"One shot couldn't hurt." As he chose tequila, Xander mentally played the game 'eney, meeny, miny, moe.'
With a bottle in one hand and two little shot glasses in the other, he turned to face her once again. Xander poured the golden wine into the cups and set them down in front of them.
Buffy took the shot and looked at Xander across the counter.
"To proving to you that not all men are scum." He toasted.
"I'll drink to that." Buffy shoots back the shot. She clenched her eyes shut and shook dramatically. "Blaaah!"
Xander laughed, finding her reaction endearing. Wanting another, she pushed the empty glass in his direction.
They picked up the second shot and clinked it together before firing it down their throats in one swallow.
Buffy and Xander slammed the shot glass against the counter, nearly barreling over with laughter.
They had been drinking heavily for some time and where both far from sober. Neither appeared to bother, enjoying each other's company as they drank themselves into insanity.
By the time Buffy and Xander completed their umpteenth shot of tequila, the live band had returned to the stage. The lights in the nightclub were nearly completely dark when red and blue lights abruptly flickered on, following the quick melody of the alternative rock music.
"Oh, my God!" Her palms slapped on the counter edge as her eyes widened. "I love this song! Blaaah!" Buffy trembled as she swallowed down another shot of tequila. She got up from the stool and walked around the counter, seizing Xander's wrist. "Let's dance!"
"I'm working." Xander slurred, smiling lopsidedly.
Buffy pouted. "You're no fun—err, no-fun-boring-guy."
"You slay me with your words." Xander held a hand over his heart.
Buffy regarded him with an intoxicated gaze. "I think you're drunk."
Xander chuckled.
Buffy's scowl vanished as a wide grin illuminated across her entire face. She removed her hand from Xander's wrist and walked onto the dance floor.
Xander reclined back, arms folded over his chest, watching the blonde dance freely to the music. Her arms were raised high over her head, and her hips rocked hypnotically back and forth.
Captivated, Xander watched her as she unknowingly lured him with her sensual movements.
The frown on his face deepened as attractive college guys crowded around Buffy, yearning for her attention. Buffy had not seemed to notice them, lost dancing to the music.
Xander dropped the towel onto the counter and pushed himself from where he stood, heading onto the dance floor.
He pushed his way between the men, shooing them aside as his arms encircled the blonde.
Buffy opened her eyes, noticing a pair of muscular arms surrounding her. She turned around and was ecstatic to see Xander as her new dancing partner.
Her wrists draped over his shoulders. Grinding against each other, Xander's hand settled on her lower back. He pulled her closer until her front crushed up against him.
Xander gritted his teeth as his blood burned in his veins and flowed directly to his cock.
Their dance was reminiscent of their last sensuous and sexually charged dance two years earlier: only there was no ulterior intent behind the dance. Instead, they felt unrestrained and at ease with one other as they held each other close, seductively grinding.
Buffy tilts her head up. Their lips were perilously near to kissing.
Xander breathed deeply her lingering scent, which was an intoxicating combination of her floral perfume and a tiny amount of sweat.
Buffy was staring intently at his mouth. When the song ended, she realised that she needed a moment to collect herself and recall that she was only millimetres away from kissing one of her best friends. She saw his lips softly separate, eagerly luring her to kiss him.
"I have to go to the bathroom!" She yelled at him, trying to be heard above the loud music.
Xander turned his head, seeing Buffy exit the dance floor and walk towards the line of ladies waiting outside the bathroom.
As Buffy exited the restroom, a hand grabbed her by the wrist and abruptly pulled her behind the thick black curtain that separated the backstage area and storage room from the nightclub.
The stage was to the left, while rows of crates containing alcohol and other bar supplies were to the right. They were layered on top of each other to form a wall-like structure.
The unusual quiet between them was broken by the thumping band music.
Her back was against a brick wall. Buffy gazed up with amazement at her capture; It was Xander.
"What are you—" She began to ask when his mouth envelop hers in an unexpected and startling kiss, hushing her slurred words.
Their lips parted wider, inviting their tongues to compete for supremacy.
When breathing became necessary, Xander pulled his head back, breaking the kiss. In a complete state of shock that he had kissed Buffy and she had kissed him back. Xander was jolted with a bolt of sobriety.
He partly anticipated that she would come to her senses and shove him away with a slap to the face, but it never came. Instead, Buffy's hands cupped the back of his head and lowered him to kiss her.
Breathlessly, Xander pulled away from her once more and noticed the menacing sparkle in her hazel-green eyes. He checked behind him to make sure they were alone before taking her by the hand and leading her behind the wall of piled crates.
Xander immediately pressed his lips against hers as she was being forced up against the brick wall. The layers of clothes between them did nothing to lessen the tremendous desire they felt for one another as Buffy moaned into the kiss, her hands furiously roamed over his back as he pressed his growing erection into her belly.
His hands went over her butt and down the backs of her thighs before Xander drew Buffy's legs up so she could wrap them around his waist. She immediately bucked against him, seeking any kind of contact. He pushed back, mimicking the subsequent moves by rubbing against one another.
Buffy gasped as Xander's kisses glided over her jaw and down the side of her neck. His fingers ascended her skirt and discovered her underwear to be wet in the crotch. Before giving in to his desire and ripping the scrap fabric from her, Xander caressed Buffy through the thin silk material as she moaned.
Buffy kept her legs wrapped around Xander while lowering her hands to help him open his pants. They had to use a bit of deft manoeuvring to get his trousers wide enough for his erection to spring free. Buffy wrapped her fingers around his erection and gave it a few slow strokes. Xander took a deep breath and then closed his eyes while resting his forehead against hers. He groaned as his yearning intensified.
He covered Buffy's hand with his own and directed his hardness to her centre, teasing her by sliding the head over her moist slit before ramming it home. As he filled her, she gasped loudly, her head falling back as waves of ecstasy rushed through her.
Xander clenched his teeth, attempting to maintain control despite the way her powerful Slayer muscles were gripping him during her climax. He wanted to prolong his pleasure, even when intoxicated.
After a rapid recovery, Buffy gave him a friendly squeeze. In retaliation, Xander pushed aggressively within her while smirking devilishly. She moved her hips, pushing back against him to show that she was more than a match for him.
The loud music and strong bass drowned out their loud moaning and the sounds of their bodies slapping together. They kissed fiercely through their electrifying orgasms.
Buffy leaned back against the brick wall, unravelling her legs from around Xander's waist. She firmly planted her feet on the ground and adjusted her skirt.
They kissed passionately and their foreheads pressed together.
"Let's get out of here," Buffy said half-jokingly.
Xander seized her hand and led the way around the crates, his lust for her giving his inebriated mind a purpose, and Buffy giggled wildly as she ran with him past a small group of fans waiting to greet the band in the main backstage area.
2008
Sunnydale, California
1630 Revello Drive: Living Room
Buffy lifted her head from her hands and leaned back against the door, inhaling deeply. She wanted to cry and wallow in her wounded heart, but she couldn't. She needed to get dinner started. Josh needed to take a shower and be ready for bed by the time Giles came over to babysit while she went out on patrol.
Slowly exhaling a deep breath, Buffy pushed herself from the door and headed through the dining room and into the kitchen. She could wallow in her despair later.
