1999: Morning

Sunnydale, California

UC Sunnydale: Stevenson Hall: Room #214

Reflected light glittering through the slats of the window blinds hits Xander in the eye, awakening him. He squeezed his eyes shut, and felt the walls of his cranium pulsate.

He laid on his stomach with one arm dangling over the edge of the bed and his naked backside barely covered by a thin lavender-coloured bed sheet.

Carefully squinting his eyes open, Xander realised quickly that he was not in his basement. The previous night's memories were hazy at best. He remembered loud thumping music, a lot of tequila shots, and a very vivid wet dream of—Xander's eyes widened, horrified.

He rolled onto his back and looked at Buffy beside him, who returned his gaze with wide, shocked eyes.

"Oh, God!" They all yelled at once.

Buffy bolted upright in bed, frantically covering herself with the bed sheet.

Xander swallowed, wrapping the bedspread over his waist, concealing his lap.

"What did you do?" In a state of shock, Xander enquired.

"What did I do? What about you? What did you do?"

"Do you think that we…" Xander gulped, gazing at her and silently chastising himself for thinking she looked incredibly sexy in only a bed sheet with her hair all messed up.

"Stop staring at me, Xander." Buffy climbed out of bed, securing the bed sheet around her naked body.

Xander blinked and averted his gaze. He expelled a breath, wishing his erection away.

"Where are my clothes?" Buffy looked around the room for her clothes.

"I don't know!" Xander climbed out of bed, the comforter still wrapped around his waist and began looking for his clothes. "Why do you think I'm any better off than you?"

"Because you're the one who got me drunk and, and seduced me."

Xander raised his head and stared at her, dumbfounded. "I'm the seducer? No, no, I'm the seducee or did you completely forget last night?"

"Everything's a little fuzzy right now, but I remember dancing, laughing, and a lot of tequila. I also remember..." Buffy looked mortified at Xander, "... Did we? At the Bronze?"

"Yeah." Xander nodded, gulping the lump in his throat. "Yeah, I think so."

"Oh, my God." Buffy rested her palm on her brow, recalling having genuinely intense sex behind a makeshift wall of crates of alcohol. "Sober me would have never…"

"I know." Xander exhaled a breath.

"I can't believe this. I have never ever done anything like this before—I mean, hardly ever. Well, sometimes. Recently. But on the whole, not. Especially at a nightclub."

Xander nodded, fighting the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I know."

"I really hate one-night-stands. Oh, God, a one-night-stand! And with you, of all people."

Seeing how upset she was, Xander held the blanket around his waist as he approached her. "Hey, Buf, it's okay. We got drunk and made a mistake. No one needs to ever know. We can just pretend it never happened."

"Really?"

He gave her his usual crooked grin. "Really."

"So, we forget this…" she motioned a hand between them, "... ever happened and we never tell anyone and, poof, it just goes away."

"Exactly." Xander nodded.

"Okay."

He put a hand on her shoulder. "No more freakout?"

Buffy exhaled a sigh. "I'm definitely freaking out, but… it'll be fine. You should go so we can, um, start forgetting." She touched his hand resting on her shoulder.

"Right." Xander focused his gaze on her, entering a familiar trance into the depths of her hazel-green eyes. "Let me find my clothes and I'll be outta your hair." He came out of the trance and proceeded to look for his clothes.

As they redressed, they modestly turned their backs to each other.

In astonishment, Xander ran his hands over his face. This was very out of character for him. He'd only been that drunk a few times before and always at home. And Buffy; of all the girls in the world, why did she have to be the one he couldn't resist? He'd always thought she was breathtakingly beautiful from the moment he laid eyes on her. From the start, Xander was head over heels in love with her. But because she was one of his closest friends, she was off-limits.

"I think I have everything. Um…" Xander raked his fingers through his unkempt bedhead.

"Okay," Buffy remarked, now fully clad in a sweater and pants.

"I'm gonna go," he said as he took a step towards the dorm room door, "and start forgetting."

"Yeah. Forgetting." Her arms were crossed over her chest.

The two stood awkwardly, attempting to avoid each other's gaze until he moved towards the door. "Well, I'll just go."

"Okay, bye."

"See ya." Xander made a hurried getaway, opened the door and left the dorm room.

Buffy stood there, confused, mortified, and annoyed at herself as Xander exited the dorm room, knowing that things would never be the same again.

2008: Friday: Early Evening

Sunnydale, California

Maple Street: Magic Box

A small bell rang as Xander opened the door to the Magic Box.

Josh turned his head to the bell ring, delighted to see his father strolling down the small steps. He sat at the circular table with a set of toys neatly arranged on the stack of books in the middle of the table. "Dad!" Josh leapt from his chair and dashed towards his father.

Xander caught the youngster as he flew into his arms. "Missed you too, bud."

"Look at my army guys. They're ready for battle." Josh pulled Xander along by his hand towards the table.

"Very cool. Covering your right flank." Xander observed the placement of the plastic toys. "So, what's the homework sitch?"

"We have to write a letter to my grown-up self. Miss Murray is way out of ideas. Can you help me?"

"Of course. Go get your things while I talk to grandpa for a few minutes."

"Okay, Dad!" With excitement, Josh had been looking forward to spending time with Xander.

Since his parents sat him down and informed him about the separation, Josh has been misbehaving in ways he never had before. Buffy did her best to maintain her composure, knowing that this was retaliation for the split.

"Oh, yeah, I've got an epic weekend planned!" Josh exclaimed as he walked backwards, towards the training room, where he had left his bag. "Mom says she doesn't think we can do it all in one weekend, but she's so wrong."

"Doubtful." Leaning back against the glass display counter, Xander folded his arms across his chest. "Your mother is rarely ever wrong."

Josh turned away and ran into the training room.

Xander tore his gaze from his son and eyed Buffy's Watcher. "Thanks for picking him up and watching him."

Giles said, "It's the least I can do," as he closed the cash register. "He is, after all, my grandson." Giles frowned at the younger man, noticing that he possessed the same despondent appearance as his charge. He was saddened to learn that Buffy and Xander's relationship was experiencing difficulties. They seemed so happy. Giles was stunned by the news, much like everyone else. "How are you doing?" he questioned.

Xander kept his apathetic demeanour, concealing his inner agony. "Good. Good." He nodded. "This is exactly what Buffy and I need. Some time apart. Regroup." He couldn't believe what he was saying, but he would give Buffy anything she wanted.

"Xander." Giles saw through Xander's stoic front.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Xander abandoned the façade and focused his attention on Josh packing his belongings into his backpack. His heart ached in unbearable pain. He hated every second of not being with Buffy and Josh. It felt as if a piece of him was ripped away. "I don't know how to make her happy anymore." He conceded. "I miss her like crazy. I love her so much, but we need this." Xander turned his gaze to the Watcher. "I just hope this being apart doesn't break us."

Compassionately, Giles nodded his head slowly.

Anya, an ex-demon and Xander's former almost-girlfriend, emerged from the downstairs supply basement. She held a clipboard in her hand.

"We're out of Tagas Root." She uttered while examining the inventory list in her hands.

Xander turned his head and gaped at Giles' most recent hire. Her previously dark, mousy hair was now blonde and cut above her shoulders. She donned a sleeveless, light-blue dress and looked stunning.

Giles removed his glasses and pulled a lens cleaning cloth from the pocket of his trousers as he stated, "A new shipment should arrive tomorrow."

Anya placed a checkmark beside the Tagas Root on the list when she noticed Xander. She was completely unprepared to find her former flame standing in front of her.

Her dark-eyed gaze roamed over Xander, for the first time in eight years. Time had been good to him. His hair was either considerably shorter or longer than she remembered, but it no longer had a boyish tousle. His hair was styled and neatly groomed. The hair on his temples was cut shorter compared to the hair on top of his head, which was lengthier. There seemed to have a perpetual five o'clock shadow covering his cheeks, upper lip, and chin.

His fashion sense had also evolved. His loose-fitted pants were replaced with slim-fitting jeans and a plaid button-up shirt, with the sleeves pushed up to reveal his powerful forearms. It was evident that he took care of his physical health. His arms, shoulders, and chest were well-defined, and his stomach was flat and lean.

"Xander." Anya refrained from biting her lower lip, her attraction to him remained strong.

Xander gave her an inviting smile. "Anya, I didn't know you worked here."

"Recent hire," Giles replied, feigning ignorance of the love affinity between the two.

Anya approached the counter and stood next to Giles at the cash register. "I'm just so excited. People come in, I help them... they give us money in exchange for goods…" she looked at the Watcher, "you give me money for working for you... I have a place in the world now. I'm part of the system." Her smile grew, illuminating her entire face. "I'm a working gal."

"Congratulations." Xander smiled.

"Yes. Well," Giles stammered said, "why don't you begin organising the shipment orders?" He picked up the clipboard.

Anya pressed a button to open the register drawer so she could inspect the money. "Oh, no, that's boring," she remarked. "I just want to do the money parts."

Xander chuckled. "I like what you did to your hair." He gestured toward his head.

Anya stroked the ends of her hair with modesty. "I'm told blondes have more fun, so…"

"It suits you," he told her sweetly.

Josh ran out of the training room with his backpack on his shoulders. "Dad, you ready? We gotta go!" He shrieked while taking Xander's hand and dragging him forward.

Anya dropped her attention to the eight-year-old boy, whom she had just learned was Giles' grandson. "Is this little human yours?"

"Yeah. Joshy, my pride and joy." Xander tousled the dark hair of his son.

"He looks like you." She remarked, observing a striking similarity between the father and son. "However younger, and therefore smaller and shorter than you are now."

Lowering his gaze to Josh, Xander saw only Buffy in his son's features. "Nah, Josh looks more like his mom," he responded with a note of melancholy in his voice.

"Dad, c'mon!" Josh rushed up the two steps, eager to begin a fun weekend with his father.

Xander gave a headshake. "I have to go or my eight-year-old will explode."

Anya's eyes widened.

"Not literally." Xander promptly added. On the Hellmouth, all possibilities existed. "Josh, did you say goodbye to grandpa?"

"See ya later, Grandpa!" Josh rushed across the store towards his grandfather Giles, wrapping his arms around his waist and giving him a firm squeeze.

Giles stroked the boy's head with a wry grin on his face. "Have a good weekend." He then turned his gaze towards Xander and spoke. "The both of you."

"We will." Xander extended his arm and motioned for Josh to accompany him. He glanced back to Anya and said, "It was good seeing you again, Anya."

Anya released a wistful sigh as Xander and Josh walked out of the Magic Box, loving the sight of Xander's rear end in his trousers. She leaned forward, placing her chin on the palm of her hand.


As they walked along the sidewalk by the Sun Cinema, Xander glanced at the Espresso Pump. "You want to get hot chocolate before our epic weekend of fun?"

Josh replied, "Okay," as he walked alongside his father. "Who was that lady?" He asked.

"Grandpa's new employee. Her name is Anya." Xander stated, hoping to dodge queries about his history with her. They dated for only a short time. She was his prom date, and they slept together twice, but when Buffy began to express a romantic interest in him, Xander severed any future connection with the ex-demon and followed his heart.

"She's a little weird. Did you know Anya? You talked to her like you knew her."

"I do know her." Xander dropped his attention to the eight-year-old, astounded by his perceptiveness. "She and I dated for a short while a long time ago."

"Before I was born?"

Xander nodded. "Way before you were born. Your mom and I weren't even together yet. Look both ways and walk close to me."

As the cars slowly descended, the father and son crossed the street quickly.

"Does my mom know Anya?"

"Um…" Xander couldn't quite remember the answer, it had been so long. "I don't think so. They may have met once or twice."

"Why weren't you with Anya for very long?" Josh looked up at his father.

"Uh, well," Xander ran a hand through his hair, "when your mom said that she wanted to be with me, it was a done deal. I was smitten." He smiled.

Quietly pensive for a long time, Xander could see the wheels in Josh's head cranking as he processed the information.

They stood in line, waiting patiently for their turn to order.

"Two hot chocolates, please," Xander said, wearing a polite smile on his face.

"With extra whipped cream!" Josh shouted and turned his eyes to Xander, giving him a silent warning. "Please!" He added.

The barista smiled, finding the boy adorable. "Sure thing." She stepped away from the register to get the two hot chocolates with extra whipped cream.

"Did you always love my mom?" Looking up at Xander, Josh inquired unexpectedly, leaning back against the counter.

Xander tilted his head slightly to the side while observing his son. "Why do you keep saying 'my mom' like I never met her?"

"Well, I guess, 'cause now that you're on a break, she's mine, not yours." He lowered his gaze to his black and white Converse shoes.

Xander grimaced. "Is that so?"

The barista reappeared with two cups of hot chocolate topped with towering mounds of whipped cream.

Xander received the hot chocolates with a faint smile, the words of Josh still echoing in his thoughts.

They approached a tall, vacant table. Xander placed the two hot chocolates on the table and settled onto the tall, cushioned seat, while Josh climbed to the seat opposite his father.

"You didn't answer my question," said Josh, going in face first into the whipped cream tower.

"What question is that?"

"Did you always love my mom?"

"From the moment I saw her, I was in love with her." Xander put the spoon into his mouth and scooped another bite of the whipped cream.

"Walking up the steps of the high school, right?"

Xander smirked. "So, you have heard this story before."

"Mom says she loves you because you make her feel safe."

Xander's gaze immediately fixed on his son's face. "She said that? Recently? What else did she say?" He felt his heart leap into his throat.

Josh, shrugged, oblivious to Xander's hopeful expression. "She wanted to talk to me about the separation," he continued. "She said that Miss Murray thinks I'm acting weird at school."

"Miss Murray brought it up to us at the meeting. Josh, whatever's going on, you can talk to us about it. You know that, right? You can always talk to your mom and me about anything. You should never fear telling us how you feel or if you have questions…"

"I have a question," Josh announced.

Xander placed the spoon in the mug of hot chocolate and then set it aside, giving Josh his undivided attention. "Okay. Lay it on me."

"Why are you and my mom separated?" He asked. "Is it because Spike came over to watch me?"

Xander's brows furrowed together in slight confusion. "Why would you think that?"

Josh continued eating the whipped cream while shrugging his shoulders. "I heard mom talking to Spike in the kitchen. She said that you were acting like a 'crazed jealous man'."

The frown on his face deepening, Xander sat back in his chair in annoyance. "Your mother shouldn't be talking to Spike about that." He tightened his jaw.

"Are you a crazed jealous man?"

Xander deliberated for a bit before speaking. "When you're one day married to a woman who is as beautiful as your mother and you love her so much, any attention from the opposite sex will make you a little crazy."

"If you love my mom and Mom loves you, why aren't you together?"

"It's complicated, kiddo." Looking at his son, Xander couldn't help but think that the eight-year-old had raised a good point. The answer is complicated. There was a myriad of reasons that crumbled their relationship, too many reasons that would confuse Josh.

Josh frowned, wearing a look eerily similar to Buffy. "Everything with you guys is complicated."

"It's for a reason. I can't seem to make your mom as happy as she was before."

"Maybe you should tell her a joke," Josh said, eating the whipped cream.

Xander chuckled. "I dunno if a joke will work, but thanks for the suggestion. We just need a bit of time apart."

"If you say so…" said Josh remained, keenly unconvinced. "It doesn't make any sense."

"I know it seems that way. Drink your hot chocolate." Xander wished he had all of the answers for his son, but he simply didn't. In fact, he didn't have a clue what the future held for him and his marriage to the Slayer.

1999: 2 Days Later

Sunnydale, California

Harris Residence: Basement

Two days had passed since the awkward morning-after in Buffy's dorm room, and Xander still couldn't get her out of his mind. He tried to watch television but could not concentrate. He attempted to read a comic book, but after thirty minutes of staring at the same page, his thoughts kept wandering back to her.

The only consolation he found was in exercising; Buffy was always present, just beneath the surface.

He determined that a night at home was the best way to escape everything Buffy Summers. Xander took out the phone book and made an order for pizza before collapsing on the couch and grabbing the television remote. After a few minutes of channel browsing, he decided on old reruns of Star Trek on the Sci-Fi channel.

Even though the show wasn't very engaging, time flew by, and before he knew it, there was a knock at the back door. He got up and went to answer it, assuming it was either the delivery boy or maybe Anya. He intended to end his budding relationship with her. His mind was simply too occupied with another woman, and it would be unfair to pursue her.

When he opened the door, he did not discover the ex-vengeance demon, but rather the subject of virtually all of his thoughts during the last 48 hours.

"Buffy." He said her name in a surprised whisper.

"Hey." Buffy displayed a forced smile. She had also avoided group-related activities for the preceding few days, unable to confront Xander following their night of passionate sex.

"I was just gonna order a pizza. Do you want to have pizza then go?" He asked.

Buffy shrugged. "Sure. Sounds good."

"Come in." Xander opened the back door wider, allowing her to enter. He felt humiliated as he observed her entering his improvised room. He never wanted his dream girl to set foot in this place. "You know what? On second thought, let's just get something on the go. It's on me." He declared.

Facing him, Buffy nervously twisted her fingers together. "Okay."

"After you." Xander opened the door for Buffy to exit first. He grabbed the jacket on a hook near the door and closed the door behind him.

Maple Street

Buffy clutched the hot cup of coffee in her hands. Her gaze was focused on anything around her, except for Xander. They had not uttered more than a few sentences since leaving his basement.

Xander struggled to avoid staring at her for too long as he sipped the hot chocolate in his palm.

"This would be less awkward if one of us said something," Buffy murmured, breaking the unpleasant silence.

Xander brushed his dark, floppy hair back. "How are you doing?"

"Other than feeling like a big idiot for going out and getting so drunk that I slept with one of my closest friends, I'm fine."

"You aren't the only person to do something stupid after a night of drinking. You aren't alone in this, you know. I was there too. It takes two to tango." He remarked, attempting to alleviate her humiliation.

She continued to shake her head in astonishment. "I just can't believe we did that."

"I know." Xander nodded, unable to close his eyes without seeing her face or hearing her moans in his head. "It's been 48 hours and I still can't believe it."

Buffy halted in mid-step and let out a small laugh at the absurdity. "This is ridiculous. Do we really think we're going to be able to pretend like nothing happened?"

"Well, when you say it out loud." He petted the back of his head. "Buf, we slept together. It's not like we killed someone. I think we're making too much of it. It was a fluke."

"Right, a fluke." Buffy nodded in agreement, falling back into step with him. "A drunken fluke. If we were sober, we never would have done that."

"Exactly. It's no one's fault—unless you want to blame the tequila."

"If tequila was a vamp… I'd kick its ass."

Xander smirked, finding her adorable. "Right back to Mexico."

"Exactly. Stupid tarty and coconutty drink of delirium and bad decisions." She paused outside the iron gates of Restfield Cemetery. "We should take a sweep."

Xander nodded.

"The best thing we can do is not let it get to us," said Buffy over her shoulder as she pushed the gated entrance open.

"Right." He agreed. "The best way to forget is to move past it."

"Right. And we're still friends." Buffy stopped and faced him.

"Best friends." Xander overly emphasised.

They gazed at one another for a long time, sensing a magnetic pull that drew them closer together. Buffy and Xander were inching closer when a vampire emerged from the shadows and tackled Buffy to the ground—completely disregarding their agreement to move on and forget.

Buffy rolled around and sprung to her feet, crescent-kicking the vampire across the head.

The vampire spun around just as Xander's fist struck the vampire in the face.

The vampire quickly recovered, jumping back to his feet and sidekicks Xander to the ground. Growling, the vampire refocused his attention on the Slayer, but he had no time to respond before Buffy pierced his heart with a sharp stake.

Buffy was kicked in the chest by the vampire, forcing her to stagger backward, trip over Xander's outstretched leg, and collapse on top of him.

Their faces were barely inches away as they gazed into each other's eyes after Buffy landed on top of him. Xander tucked a piece of her golden, wavy hair behind her ear. Slowly, they drew closer, until their lips pressed together in a delicate kiss that might have easily deepened if Buffy hadn't abruptly pulled away.

"We shouldn't," she muttered, her eyes fixed on his mouth as she resisted the need to smother him in a passionate kiss.

Xander nodded. "You're right." He resisted his desire and withdrew his face from hers, resting his head on the ground

Buffy breathed deeply and distanced herself entirely from Xander. She stood up and extended her hand to help him to his feet.

Xander brushed the grass from his slacks and coat as he regarded her. "Should we continue on?"

Buffy nodded. "Yeah. We really should." She mumbled beneath her breath, anxious to kill something.

2008: Friday: Early Evening

Sunnydale, California

Willow & Tara's Apartment

Xander unlocked the apartment door of Willow and Tara across the city. They had agreed to let Xander sleep on the couch until he was able to stand on his own.

Xander opened the door and let Josh enter first.

The child grimaced and turned to face his father. "We're at Aunt Willow's."

"Yeah." Xander nodded and flipped on the night. "I'm staying here until I can find an apartment for us."

"Like me, you, and Mom?"

Xander swallowed and smiled regretfully before shaking his head.

Josh's shoulders sagged. He had hoped that in a few days his father would return home and everything would return to normal. He had witnessed his parents dispute several times, but they always made up at the end of the day. "Are you never coming back?" He asked.

"Your mom and I need to talk."

"Will she come to the new apartment?"

"She's more than welcome to."

Josh removed his bag off his shoulders and deposited it on the floor. He sank to his knees and rummaged in his backpack for the plastic army toys his mother had spent an hour helping him find the previous evening. "How about that Anya girl? Will she come over too?"

Xander opted to avoid answering Josh's concerns regarding a prospective new romantic interest. "You hungry? Want my world-famous mac and cheese with lots of oregano?"

Josh scowled, detesting the new relationship between his parents. He longed for them to reconcile and be happy again. The notion of his father attempting to replace his mother with another woman caused a tightness in his chest. "Can I go watch TV?" He asked, having suddenly lost interest in the 'epic weekend' he had spent hours planning.

"Yeah." Xander ran his hand through his hair, recognising his son's altered disposition. "I'll call you in a few." He remarked this while watching his kid drag his feet into the living room and turn on the television. Josh climbed onto the couch and slouched back.

Xander wished he knew the answers Josh was searching for, but he did not. The future terrified him. Xander had trouble sleeping at night, his mind unable to stop thinking about whether this was the end of his marriage.

Taking the iPhone from the front pocket of his jeans, Xander tapped the Photo application and went through a series of images shot during a family excursion. He regarded the photograph of Josh making a goofy face into the camera with a sorrowful grin. His heart tightened as he swiped to the left to the next photo of the smiling family of three.

Xander breathed deeply as he rubbed his unshaven chin while looking at the candid snapshot of Buffy smiling at him. She appeared utterly in love and happy. Xander turned off the phone and set it on the counter. He hung his head, squeezing his eyes shut, trying hard to keep his emotions under control—especially with Josh only a few feet away.