CHAPTER 38: THE BUTTERFLY BUSINESS

Friday morning

Thomas' Bedroom
Ivor Novello's Flat

Waking up with a man in his bed was a new experience for Thomas. It was a luxury that had been denied him during his nights with Philip or Hopwood when he was forced to return too soon to his room at Grantham House or at the Abbey.

It was still dark outside, and Novello was sleeping peacefully. Thomas resisted the urge to kiss him or stroke his hair. He was afraid that if Novello awoke, he would desert Thomas for his own bed.

The early morning quiet was disturbed by the noise of the rickety lift. Novello stirred and opened his eyes. "That must be Bobbie," he murmured. He touched Thomas' hair, draped his arm over Thomas' chest, and settled back to sleep. Thomas did not know whether to feel happy or sad.


Later

Thomas could smell coffee and sausages but was not ready to open his eyes. The satin sheet under his belly was too comfortable. He heard a rustling and squinted against the daylight streaming from the window. Novello was seated in a chair, wearing his robe and drinking a cup of tea. "What time is it?" Thomas croaked.

"Not quite noon."

Thomas rubbed his eyes. "It's going to be a challenge to adjust to Abbey hours come Monday."

Novello did not comment. He stood and stretched, and that made Thomas stretch too. Thomas remembered that he wasn't wearing pyjamas. "Cover me, Ivor," he commanded lazily.

Novello sat next to Thomas on the bed. He lightly stroked the length of Thomas' back. "I like your broad shoulders."

"Cover me, Ivor," repeated Thomas. "It's chilly this morning."

"I'll fix you a hot bath," offered Novello.

"Ivor, no! Cover me."

Novello pulled the sheet over Thomas. "You're not angry with me, are you, Thomas?"

"Of course not, Ivor, but perhaps you've forgotten our experiment."

"Experiment?"

"For me to make love to a man for one night only," quoted Thomas.

"Oh, that experiment. And what's your conclusion, Mr Scientist?"

"That I'm not capable of random love."

Novello made no attempt to hide his disappointment. "You seemed capable last night. I thought you enjoyed yourself."

"I did, Ivor. That's the problem." Thomas turned under the sheet to face Novello. "It's a new day, and I want to make love to you again. Again and again and again."

"That doesn't sound like a problem to me."

"The problem, Ivor, is that I can't love a man for only one night, and you can't love only one man."

"Oh."

"How am I to face Bobbie this morning? And please don't tell me he doesn't mind."

"But he doesn't mind. What do you think his other plans were last night? What do you think he was doing?"

"It doesn't matter if Bobbie doesn't mind, Ivor. I mind."

"Oh."

"Will you respect my decision?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No."

Novello leaned over Thomas and kissed him lightly. "Thomas?"

"Yes?"

"Are we still friends?"

"Do you still want me for a friend?" teased Thomas as he rolled back onto his belly and stretched again. "I'm not special now. I'm no longer the man who said no to Ivor Novello." Novello did not respond. "Of course we're still friends, Ivor. Your friendship means a great deal to me."

"Intimate friends?"

"Yes."

"The most intimate of friends?"

"No."

"What then?"

"Nearly the most intimate of friends."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you can't kiss me when I'm undressed."

"Oh." Novello stood. "But I can do this." Novello pulled back the sheet and gave Thomas' bottom a sound slap before walking to the door.

Thomas laughed. "You're incorrigible."

"Am I?"

"Ivor, we're not going to argue, are we? It would be a shame for anything to spoil last night."

"No, darling, we're not going to argue. We're going to have breakfast. Don't forget you have an appointment at the Savoy today. Bobbie says to wear your blue suit."


Thomas came to breakfast in his robe and sat awkwardly across from Bobbie. When he dared to look up, Bobbie smiled kindly. "You worry too much, Thomas."

Thomas sighed. He didn't begrudge Novello and Bobbie a life that made them happy, but it would never be right for him. The experiment had failed.

After breakfast, Thomas bathed while he thought through the questions he wanted to ask during the Savoy tour. He donned the designated blue suit and found Morgan and Bobbie in the parlour. Morgan was standing in his underwear and grinning broadly. He had a folded towel tied to his chest, and Bobbie was in the process of wrapping Morgan's upper arms in folded pillowcases.

"Hullo, Thomas! I'm not your chauffeur today. I'm your bodyguard!" Morgan proclaimed.

"He thought he should have muscles to match his new occupation," explained Bobbie.

"Oh, that's what they are! Don't forget your legs or you'll be top-heavy," advised Thomas.

Morgan knew he was being ribbed but heeded the advice and insisted that Bobbie improve his thighs and calves too. Bobbie sculpted the many ersatz muscles with string until, satisfied, he stepped back to admire his handiwork. Morgan squeezed his new physique into his old suit and hurried to Thomas' bedroom to study his silhouette in the full-length mirror. He returned with a confident strut.

Novello wandered onto the scene, took a gander at Morgan, and insisted on commemorating his beefy anatomy on film. Using Morgan's Leica, he took a photo of Thomas seated in a genteel manner with Morgan installed at his side, fists poised to flatten any attacker.

It was getting late, and Thomas wanted to put his tour questions in writing. He asked Novello where he could refill his pen.

Novello gestured towards his office. "There's a bottle of ink on my desk."


A few minutes later

Novello's Office

Novello rushed to the office, but it was too late. Thomas was standing at the desk with his pen in one hand and an envelope in the other.

"I didn't mean for you to see that, Thomas."

Thomas spun about. "Why are you writing to John?" he demanded.

Novello knew it was time to confess. "Sit down, Thomas." Thomas did not budge. "Please sit down, my darling." Thomas stared at the envelope for a moment and then sat. Novello opened a drawer and pulled out six more envelopes. "These are from John to me."

Thomas stared at the letters. "I don't understand."

"Remember when I wrote and asked when you were going to be in London?"

"Yes. I answered that the Crawleys weren't coming this season."

"I was a bit disappointed, but I wasn't going to do anything about it. After all, we didn't know each other that well, and there was always next summer. Then I received this." Novello handed Thomas the first letter he had received from Bates.

Thomas read the letter. The colour drained from his face. He read and reread one sentence.

I wonder if London might offer Mr Barrow a more fulfilling future.

Thomas felt as though he had been punched in the stomach. "He wants to be rid of me!"

"Is that what you think? That's not it at all!" Novello shuffled through the other letters. "Read this."

Thomas began to read but Novello impatiently pulled the letter from his hands. "Right there, Thomas. Read what he says right there."

Thomas read, "...if that path takes him away from Downton, it will be my heart that suffers."

"The man loves you, Thomas. In his own way, he loves you."

Thomas pushed the letter away. "I shouldn't read any more. He didn't mean for me to see these."

Novello quickly returned the letters to the drawer. Thomas stood and walked aimlessly to the door. "Don't leave, Thomas." Novello sat on a love seat opposite the desk and patted the cushion next to him. "Sit with me, won't you?"

Thomas dragged himself to Novello and sat heavily.

"I know you have questions, Thomas."

Thomas shrugged.

"We're nearly the most intimate of friends now, remember?"

Thomas nodded slowly.

"There isn't anything you can't ask me, my darling."

Thomas was silent.

"If you don't ask me something, you'll make me feel foolish," Novello teased.

"Ivor ...?"

"What is it? Please ask me."

"Why did you want to show me your London ... before John's letter ... why?"

"Two reasons, I suppose. You know the first. I was embarrassed by my behaviour when we first met ... you were so sweet about the whole thing. I felt I owed it to you."

"And the other reason?"

"Let me think how to say it." Novello fingered the buttons on Thomas' coat while he spoke. "There was a sadness about you, my darling. You seemed trapped ... yes, that's it ... as though you were caught in your own cocoon. I had the sense there was a butterfly in there somewhere. Still, I'm not in the butterfly business, am I? You see the selfish life I live. I needed John's nudge."

"You haven't been selfish, Ivor."

"No?" Novello chuckled. "Then I truly was inspired by John's letters. They were lovely."

"He's lovely," responded Thomas wistfully. "He's lovely, his family's lovely ..."

Jealousy gave Novello's heart a squeeze, and he laughed at himself because there was nothing else he could do. "You miss them, don't you?"

"I'm having a wonderful week, Ivor."

"But you miss them."

Thomas met Novello's gaze and smiled. "Ivor, I meant to tell you something last night."

"Oh? What's that?"

"I think your bottom's perfectly round. I wouldn't change a thing."