1999: Days Later
Sunnydale, California
Restfield Cemetery
Buffy was more confused than ever. Despite her best efforts to persuade herself that the kiss outside the Bronze didn't mean anything and they were just caught up in a moment, but that wasn't true. In actuality, Buffy was quite positive that she was in love.
Riley had stunned her with a passionate kiss in the days following the toe-curling kiss outside the Bronze. Since then, Sunnydale had lost their voices due to fairy tale demons called the Gentlemen. Amidst the chaos of that night, Riley pulled her close and kissed her passionately.
As kisses went it was well above average. Riley was the type of guy that women dreamed about meeting but rarely ever did. He was nice, kind, and sweet. He was aware of the Hellmouth and was a part of the Initiative, a top-secret government demon-hunting special force. He was also not put off by her Vampire Slayer destiny; in fact, it fascinated him.
Riley Finn appeared to be the whole package and they'd be a great match. Buffy wanted more than 'great'. She wanted extraordinary.
Her answer was right in front of her, but too many what if's circled her mind. What if she and Xander really gave their relationship a chance? And it evolved into something extraordinary only to disintegrate, and the damage would be too irreversible, and they could never be friends again? Was she willing to take the risk? Buffy wasn't so sure.
Her ears twitched as she gripped the stake in her hand, listening closely to the sound of leaves crunching behind her. She counted to three and spun around, holding the stake high and ready to strike.
Xander jumped back, defensively holding up his hands, amazed by her rapid reflexes. "Jesus!" He reflexively jumped back, holding on tightly to the stake in hand.
"Xander," she said his name in frustration. "I could've killed you. What the hell are you doing here?"
"Looking for you." He relaxed, stuffing his hands inside the front pockets of his jeans.
Concerned, Buffy's mind immediately went to every terrible scenario. "Is there something wrong? Was there an Adam sighting or something?"
"Uh, no. I was, um, actually…" he stammered, massaging the back of his neck. A nervous gesture, she noticed. "I need to talk to you. But, uh, I just want you to stand there and listen. Okay?"
"Okay," Buffy responded cautiously, albeit keenly interested in whatever Xander needed to say.
Xander rubbed his chin, unsure where to begin. Whatever he had planned to say on his way to the cemetery no longer seemed enough. "What's going on between us isn't a fluke. And it's not a misjudgement. Truthfully, Buffy, when I'm with you, it's the clearest I've ever thought. Being with you feels natural. Like it's always been this way." He took a small step forward. "I think that there's something here. I dunno what it is, but I think it can be really great—Extraordinary, even. But," Xander took another step, "if exploring whatever is going on between us isn't what you want, then fine. We can be friends. I'm okay with that. I just want you to be with someone who makes you feel like I feel when I'm with you." He swallowed the nervous lump in his throat. "Buffy, what I'm trying to tell you is that I am completely in love with you."
She stared at him wide-eyed.
Unable to hold her gaze, Xander lowered his dark eyes to his boots, terrified of her response.
Her silence was deafening, and it was beginning to frighten him. He prayed to the Powers That Be that she would let him down easy. He was certain that she could hear his hammering heart.
Agitated, Xander pushed his hair back. "Heh. I'm suddenly feeling a weird sense of déjà vu."
"Xander…" she breathlessly whispered his name.
Xander recognised the soft tone of her voice. He was suddenly sixteen years old again: staring at Buffy in disbelief as she gracefully rejected him to the prom. He had hoped that country music and a drink of whiskey would be enough to heal his shattered heart.
"It was worth a try." Xander hoped that his face wasn't flush with embarrassment.
Buffy gave him a delicate grin that tugged at her mouth. "You haven't heard what I have to say."
"Sorry. The floor is yours." He made a hand motion in front of himself.
Quiet for a moment, Buffy saw the glimmer of hope in his dark eyes and a soft half-smile tugged at her lips. "Xander, I do have feelings for you." She admitted, much to his surprise. "I find myself in the middle of the day wondering what you're doing, who you're talking to, what you're thinking about—if you're thinking about me." Her heart pounded in her chest. "Being with you… I feel good. I feel safe." She told him. "Riley kissed me. It was a great kiss, but all I keep thinking about was how much I want you to kiss me."
Xander took a step closer, towering over her, praying he wasn't hallucinating. "What are you trying to say?" He needed to hear her say the words; he wouldn't believe it otherwise.
Buffy took another step forward and came to a stop squarely in front of him. "I'm saying that maybe there is something between us and I think it can be really great—Extraordinary, even." She recited his words and softly smiled at him. "I'm saying that want to take the risk. I want to give us a real chance."
All Xander could do was stare at her, mouth gaping, unable to comprehend that this was not a dream. He wants him. Him.
"Are you just gonna stand there or are you going to kiss me?"
Xander bridged the gap between them without thinking twice. He took her into his arms and kissed her. The days apart had been much too long, and their yearning for one another began to take control. The familiar tingle their kisses generated shot straight through their bodies.
After a long minute, they found the resolve to break apart. Breathless, their foreheads pressed together. They looked one another in the eye, desire consuming them.
"Let's get out of here before some vamp catches us with our pants down," Xander muttered, holding her cheek in his hand, still unable to believe that she was his now. He got the girl.
"Yeah," her gaze was drawn to his mouth. "We should definitely go." She raised her chin, unable to resist him, and kissed him again.
2008: Months Later: Sunday: Night
Sunnydale, California
Maple Street: Magic Box
Tara descended the stair ladder from the upper bookcases, she smiled to see Willow hovering over Josh's shoulder and doing her best to teach the arithmetic homework to her eight-year-old nephew.
Giles sat on the other side of the circular table from Willow and Josh, reading through paperwork, while Xander assisted Anya in restocking the shelves while conversing with her.
"Aunt Willow," Josh tossed the pencil on the table, "this doesn't make any sense. When am I ever going to need this?"
Willow smiled gently. "Wow, you get more like your mom and dad every day. It's easy. Here, lemme show you a trick."
Buffy entered the magic shop from the training room backdoor after following a vampire down an alleyway. Her attention immediately landed on Josh and Willow at the round table when the unmistakable sound of Xander's laughter reached her ears.
Buffy looked across the Magic Box to see Xander assisting Anya in organising the objects on a shelf. Sick to her stomach, Buffy watched Xander grin like a schoolboy and flirt with the ex-demon.
"Oh!"
Buffy was jolted from her feelings of jealousy by Anya's shrill cry.
"Who put the monkey heads near the Styx water? Do we want to pick exploded monkey out of our hair?" Anya took a step forward, holding the jar containing a monkey's head floating in transparent fluid.
"Cool!" Josh's dark eyes widened. "Can I see?" He asked, leaping out of his chair and sprinting over to Anya to inspect the jar.
"Oh, Buffy, there you are," said Giles, being the first to notice the Vampire Slayer.
Buffy turned her gaze away from Xander, Josh, and Anya and toward her Watcher. "Here I am."
Xander's eyes snapped across the shop to his wife, and the smile on his face faded; feeling as if he had been caught red-handed doing something immoral, like flirting with Anya. He stepped away from Anya, feeling a bit guilty for enjoying her company in front of Buffy. Over the past few months, Anya served as his comic relief. He found himself looking forward to seeing her whenever he stopped by at the Magic Box.
"I did a quick sweep of the cemeteries and followed a vamp in the alley. I stopped by to pick Joshua up." Buffy explained as she approached the circular table and started to pack Josh's school workbooks into his backpack.
"This is so cool." Josh stared at the jar in fascination.
"We also have rat eyeballs," Anya responded, her grin dissolving as she noticed Xander no longer paying attention to her and Josh. His gaze was fixed on the blonde standing near the circular table, dressed entirely in black.
"Buffy." Xander tried hard not to think about how beautiful she looked this evening.
"Sorry to interrupt." She remarked, lowering her attention to Josh.
"Is it already that time?" Xander raked his hand through his hair, unable to believe the weekend was over.
"It is." Buffy nodded. "Joshua, honey, please get your things."
Xander took another step forward. "He already ate." He informed her.
"Good. Thank you." She replied, exhaling a heavy breath, trying not to yawn.
Xander noticed her hooded eyes and wondered if she was having as bad of a time sleeping as him. "You look tired."
"Me?" Buffy shrugged as she folded her arms across her chest. "Nah. I guess a little fatigued. I haven't been sleeping well."
"Oh? Bad dreams?"
Buffy looked at him curiously. "Something like that."
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he was sure she could see the smile he desperately tried to hide. "How was patrol?"
"It was actually pretty dull, you know, bam boom stick poof."
Anya frowned, staring at Buffy realising that she's Xander's estranged wife. "You're the Slayer." She said, staring suspiciously at the blonde.
Buffy tore her eyes from Xander and eyed the woman flirting with her husband. "The last time I checked."
Stunned, Anya hadn't expected that the Vampire Slayer would be standing in front of her, nor did she expect that she'd be married to Xander. "The Slayer is Josh's mother?"
"Yeah." Xander suddenly realised that he hadn't told Anya about Buffy or least of all that she's the Vampire Slayer. "Uh, heh, I don't think you've officially met. Buffy, this is Anya. Anya, this is my wi—Um… This is Buffy." He winced.
Frowning, Buffy tossed Xander a strange look wondering why he was suddenly a stammering wreck. From her perspective, it didn't seem that Anya cared much that the man she was relentlessly flirting with was married.
"Hi," Buffy said, forcing a tight smile across her face.
Anya regarded her 'competition' for a minute, looking the Slayer up and down. Buffy was far more attractive than Anya was willing to admit. Buffy was petite and slender and her golden hair was shampoo commercial perfect. Xander did not seem like her type. "You're much shorter in person. I thought the Vampire Slayer would be much taller and more muscular."
"A common misconception." Buffy took a moment to survey the woman from Xander's past. She was very attractive and there was a lovable directness about her that made Buffy understand Xander's fondness and fascination for her. Pursing her lips together, Buffy shot Xander a frowning look as she turned to Josh putting on his backpack. "Honey, hurry up, please. It's late and you have to take a shower before bed."
"Ugh, I don't want to," Josh whined, dragging his feet back over to Buffy.
"You have to. Look at you," Buffy wrapped a hand around his wrist, looking down at his dirty hands. "You're filthy. What did you do today, roll around in the dirt?"
"Played on the jungle gym." He replied. "And then I dug a hole in the dirt." A mischievous smile tugged at his mouth.
"Figures." The frown on Buffy's face deepened, tossing Xander a glare. "Thanks for returning him completely filthy."
Xander sighed, holding his hands on his hips. "It's just dirt, Buf."
"Yes, well, you're not the one that does the laundry, are you? Honey, say goodbye to your father." Buffy said, taking a step towards the main door.
Josh stepped into Xander's arms, giving him a tight hug. "Bye, Dad. See you Friday." He then turned to the rest of his family, giving them a wave goodbye, including Anya, who he's grown to like. She was nice and had jars filled with strange things.
"I'll walk you guys to the Jeep." Xander began to follow Buffy and Josh out.
"I walked," Buffy said, without looking back at him.
Rolling his eyes, Xander clenched a fist at his side, keeping control of his temper. She was being short and dismissive, which aggravated him to no end. "Okay, then I'll walk you outside."
Buffy paused mid-step and looked back at her husband for a moment before continuing without uttering a word.
Xander and Josh exchanged a look before following Buffy outside.
Closing the door behind him, Xander immediately came face to face with a very irritated Buffy. She stood in front of him with her arms tightly crossed over her chest.
"Meeting people already?" Buffy asked, quickly losing control of her patience.
Xander frowned in confusion. "You know that I knew Anya." He said, a bit joyously as he detected a bit of jealousy in her voice. "Am I not allowed to talk to members of the opposite sex?" He made no effort to conceal the smirk tugging at his lips. After spending most of their relationship insecure about of every man making eyes at his wife, he took a bit of satisfaction that the tables had turned.
"You know what I mean." She said through gritted teeth, the stern look on her face never wavering.
"You don't seem to have a problem with it. You have loads of conversations with other men."
"What other men? What the hell are you talking about? Oh." Buffy folded her arms across her chest and scoffed when he insinuated her close friendship with Spike once again. "You weren't just talking, Xander. I may be a little rusty when it comes to dating, but I know what flirting looks like."
Xander frowned, although inside he was snickering. "It's nothing." He nonchalantly waved his hand.
"Didn't look like nothing. It looked like a lot of laughing. You like her…" she watched him closely, "... and so does Joshua. She's the coolest with her rat eyes in a jar."
Rubbing a frustrated hand over his face, Xander reached behind him, opening the Magic Box door for Josh to wait inside while he and Buffy talked privately. "Josh, go wait inside, while your mom and I talk."
"You mean argue." The eight-year-old rolled his eyes.
Xander scowled. "Just go inside."
Josh exhaled a dramatic heavy breath and dragged his feet back inside the magic shop.
Waiting until the door closed, Xander whirled back around, glaring at Buffy. "What are you doing? You're making things bigger than they are."
"Oh? Am I? Hm, doesn't that sound familiar; creating something out of nothing." She cocked the arch of her brow, signalling checkmate.
Xander couldn't help but agree that she had made a fair point. He had often accused her of having more of a relationship with other men, i.e, Spike. "Okay, fine. Yeah, I like Anya." He admitted, having no idea that hearing him say the words aloud was torturous for her. "She's funny and she's interested in what I have to say. It's nice to not feel inferior when I'm around her."
Shaking her head, Buffy unfolded her arms, dropping them at her sides. "What do you want from me, Xander? For me to pay more attention to you?"
"It wouldn't hurt. I don't know why or when it started but you keep me at a distance, Buf."
Incredulously, she couldn't believe his audacity. "Oh, honey, I'm sorry. You know, um, I'm sorry that I can't drop everything I'm doing and give you my undivided attention. Tell your eight-year-old to fend for himself the next time he needs something, and also, while you're at it, tell the Hellmouth to take a vacation because it's your turn to be coddled. You need me to tuck you in, hold your hand, and read you a bedtime story."
"Goddamn it, Buffy!" Xander angrily exploded. "This is about you letting me in! So you don't have to be on top of it all the time!"
"But I do!" She yelled back. "That's what being a Slayer and a mother is. I don't know what else you want from me, Xander! I've given this marriage—you everything that I have. I've given you my heart, my body, and soul!"
"You say that, but I don't feel it." Xander dropped his arms to his sides.
"Well, whose fault is that? Because I'm telling you, this is it, this is me. This is the package. And if it's so deficient that you need to get your kicks elsewhere... then we really have a problem." She pushed past him, opening the Magic Box's door. "Joshua, let's go."
Josh hesitated.
"Now, please," Buffy ordered, taking Josh by the hand and pulling him along, straight past Xander.
"Bye, Dad," Josh waved sadly at Xander, standing outside the magic shop looking defeated and angered.
1630 Revello Drive: Master Bedroom
Back at the house, while Josh played with his plastic boats and action figures in the bathtub, Buffy sat on the side of the bed staring at the iPhone in her hand.
Her thumb hovered over a telephone number, hesitant to dial it.
After a few minutes, Buffy swallowed, debating on whether she should just take the dive and press the number. Just do it. It's time. Buffy exhaled a heavy breath and dialled the phone number.
She held the cell phone to her ear and waited, listening to the rings.
"Hello?" A deep velvety voice finally answered the phone call.
"Hey, it's me." Buffy softly said. "Can you talk?"
