Watching Boys Play a Game


Author's note: Be forewarned. This is completely unlike any story I've ever written. In a good way, I think. And special thanks go out to Davis, who has been waiting patiently for this once since last summer, and to Ange, who helped me rework the plot one afternoon a few weeks ago.


Chapter One: Back to the Beginning

December 3rd, 2020, Tree Hill High School, Tree Hill North Carolina

Nathan awoke as he always did, by the incessant beeping of his alarm clock seeping into his dreams. In his childhood, the beeping had bothered him. It seemed like that or his mother's calls had always broken off the very best part of the dream, the part he could never quite reach. Now the beeping was a relief, as it always shut off his most private thoughts. In the daylight, he could pretend that they did not exist.

Trying to shake off the life he lived in his dreams, the life with her, he wandered into his kitchen, started the coffee machine and put a bagel in the toaster. It was a nice routine. Easy. Safe. Contained. He wandered to his front porch and picked up the paper, shielding his eyes from the porch swing, trying to forget the happy couple that had once spent time on it, dreaming their dreams.

He let out a short, cynical laugh of disbelief. Once, when he was younger, he'd promised himself he'd never grown old to be old and cynical, like his father.

As he wandered back into the kitchen, he poured himself a cup of coffee from the freshly brewed pot, and added two sugars and a splash of cream. This wasn't his way. It was her way. Somewhere along the line he'd given up on his ways. It had stopped mattering completely, how he drank his coffee, which side of the bed he slept on, what heigh he liked his wheeling desk chair at. She'd taken over his life. He wished she still would.

He poured himself another cup of coffee, this time into a travel mug and left the house, not bothering to wait for the other occupants of the house to awaken. He was pathetic. He'd known it for years.

He tried to ignore the sympathetic eyes of the staff as he walked into Tree Hill High School, and the interested eyes of half the juniors he passed. Tree Hill High had inadvertently become everywhere to him. In its walls he'd fallen in love, gotten his heart broken, lost his heart's desire forever. In its walls, he'd been born and died again.

Nathan blew impatiently on his whistle. He hoped he was Whitey, the strong, stern guiding force and not Dan the pushy, manipulative overly zealous dictator. He wasn't sure how to tell the difference.

The team had never changed. It now consisted of the sons of his teammates. Nathan reflected that his son should be there, leading the team, romancing some blonde on the cheerleading squad. His son never would be, as such as child could never come into existence. Not anymore.

He frowned as he noticed the boys staring at him and laughing, obviously having noticed his obvious reverie. He quickly assigned them another set of sprints, hoping it would distract them well enough to keep him from being caught, and to heal his wounded pride.

It hadn't always been this way. Once, a lifetime ago, he'd been different. He'd been the best. He'd had everything. He'd had more than an ignorant boy like him could have ever fully appreciated.

But most of all, he'd had her.


June 21st, 2006, Tree Hill United Church, North Carolina

"Nate, you're on in one hour and I've never seen you looking less ready," said Brooke Davis, bouncing in to the room. She twirled around, flaunting her stylish, completely un cliched bridesmaid's dress.

"You look great too," he said sarcastically. He looked nervously down at the littering of pieces of notebook paper on the floor, scattered around him.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked in surprise.

"Uh, writing my vows," he said.

"Let me guess. Miss Bride of the Year 2005 decided that it would be romantic?" said Brooke, giggling. She moved in to tie the silk tie he was wearing.

"Don't let me hear you repeating this, but it was half my idea. I thought it'd be easy," he said.

"Why?"

"Because we've been together since middle school. You'd think I'd have sorted out my feelings by now," he said, staring down at his shoes, wishing he was talking to anyone but his fiancee's best-friend.

"You'll know. The second you get to the alter you'll look into her eyes and the words will come to you and you'll..." Brooke stopped when she saw Nathan's sceptically raised eyebrows.

"I'd rather go in with a script," he admitted.

"Fine, have it your way," she said. Pulling away as she perfected the knot in his tie.

Nathan half smiled as she ran out of the room and back to wherever the bride was getting changed. "Brooke?"

"Yes, loser?" she asked.

"You look great."

His smile grew as he fished his phone out of his pocket and began to send off a text message.

He was still staring glumly at the pages when the door creaked open. He glanced up, expecting to see Lucas with words of wisdom, or Dan with songs of praise.

"Haley, what are you doing here?" he asked in amazement.

"You texted me," she reminded him.

"To say hi. Not to summon you. This is bad luck," he said. He breathed in sharply when he saw her in her dress with the wide, flowing skirt, the tight bodice that went into a small v at her waist and skimmed her breasts, hinting and not revealing at them. The skinny straps on her shoulders and her light brown hair swept elegantly onto her head. The delicate silver chain resting on her throat.

"Damn, you look fine, Mr. Scott," she said, walking in and admiring his tux.

"You look..." He tried to find an adjective to describe her, but found he could not think of any words at all. She twirled around and her skirt flew around her. She laughed, a sound and an image he would remember all his life.

"What's wrong, baby?" she asked.

"Nothing's wrong. Something was. Somehow I forget what..." as she approached him, he looped his arms around her waist and pulled her in to him.

"Do you want me to help you remember?" she asked provocatively.

"Vixen. Go back, I won't be marrying spoiled goods," he said teasingly.

"Even if it was you that spoiled them? You're no fun," said Haley.

His hand curled around her slim waist, feeling the swell of her hips and the curve of her backside.

"I'll see you soon," he said firmly. She rolled her eyes and backed out. He loved that she didn't confrom to ridiculous wedding day traditions. He loved that she looked so incredible in her wedding dress. He loved that instead of replying to his text message with a simple "hi", she'd come to check on him.

But most of all, he loved that it was her he was marrying.

As he came in through side door to the already filled church, he wondered if anyone would have noticed if he hadn't showed. The day was so clearly about her. He wanted it to be about her. He wanted to give her her day.

The organ music swelled dramatically. Somehow without him noticing, Brooke and Peyton had both made it halfway up the aisle. Nathan glanced sideways at his brother and grinned, and then to his father, who sent him an approving fatherley look.

Haley appeared around the corner wearing her dress, her make up touched up, her face covered by a thin gossamer veil. She clutched a small bouquet of white roses. Against the dramatic background of hardwood and stained glass windows, she looked infinitely pure.

Everyone stood. Nathan let out a breath he hadn't released he'd been holding. She walked slowly, as if savouring the moment. Her father walked proudly beside her, happy to be giving his daughter to the man who'd always loved her.

He slowly walked toward them as they reached the end of the aisle. Jimmy lifted her veil and brushed it behind her before kissing her cheek. Nathan offered his hand to her, and she took it. They approached the alter, and he gave it a gentle squeeze. Her hand was cold. He hoped her feet were not.

Nathan looked sideways at her and winked, noticing her pale face. She smiled slowly and squeezed his hand in turn as the officiator began to speak.

Haley took a deep breath before speaking.

"Nathan. I think when you asked me to marry me, I was surprised. Not because I didn't think you'd ask me, but because it seemed so pointless. I love you. I've always loved you. I've been your girl since I was seven years old, in some form or another. Marriage is nice. Standing here, in front of everyone that's ever mattered to me, swearing that I'll love you forever is nice. But you've always known that. And that's the only thing in the world that matters to me. That you know it."

The officiator turned to Nathan expectantly. He took a deep breath and began.

"Haley, I didn't know how I was going to explain it to you. What about you that makes me lose my breath when you enter the room, what about me that can't get enough of you. I can't. I don't know if I ever could. But I think you know anyways. And I think you know why I asked you, Haley. It's not because I want you. My wanting you wouldn't get in the way of us being together, even if someday in the future I didn't. Because it's because I need you, Haley. Need you like I need oxygen. I love you more than life. I always will. And I think that's the only thing I do know how to say."

Haley's eyes shone with tears and looking at Nathan, she was almost certain that his were too. She smiled softly as he pushed the ring on to her finger.

Not bothering to listen to the final line, she launched herself in to his arms. He held her almost in disbelief as they kissed, passionately, even innappropriately in front of a room full of friends. He lifted her off the ground until their faces were level and kissed harder. At the crowd's laughter, she blushed and he set her down.


Haley giggled in delight as she and Nathan entered their small house.

"Damn, you and your skirt barely fit through," he grumbled.

"Nate, I could have walked. You'll probably drop me. And it's not like we fulfilled all the other insane traditions, anyway," she said.

"Drop you? You way about ten pounds," he said.

"Do not. Anyway, why are you still carrying me? Planning on having your way with me in the bedroom?" she asked.

"Always."

He lifted her higher into his arms and walked in to the bedroom. She cast an admiring glance at the new bedspread she'd bought, and the colour they'd painted, the only one at the store they could agree on.

She smiled as he gently lay her on the bed like a porcelain doll liable to break at any moment. He knew she was not, but she couldn't make herself resent the way he desired to protect her. She couldn't help that it turned her on. Just a little.

Shakily he observed her, lying on her back on the bed, her wedding dress still around her. He sat down on the edge and lifted her upper body into his arms. He kissed her, willing that his kiss would guide them into the plane of something they'd never quit experienced.

Her hands moved up to his tie, and she slowly tugged out the carefully tied knot before reaching around him to shed the jacket he wore. His hands quickly moved to the straps of her dress, brushing kisses on her bare skin as he did so. His hands blindly sought the almost invisible zipper and he tugged it down, his fingers brushing the length of her spine as her fingers hurriedly unbottoned his shirt.

As he shed his shirt and she began to place kisses on his broad, muscled chest, he pulled her back up to capture her lips. His hand mingled in with her hair and he released it from its high place on her head until it tumbled down her back. She slid out of her dress after he tugged down the bodice, and pushed it off the bed. He examined the lingerie she was wearing, that which she'd specifically bought with Brooke and Peyton at Victoria Secret the previous week. He swallowed and felt his erection swell as he saw her breasts spilling out of her bustier.

As he entered her, she breathed in sharply and dug her fingernails into his back. This was it. This was their joining, their union. The ceremony had been nice, but nothing more than a formality. They didn't need a church to tell them what they already knew. That they belonged to each other. That they always would.


December 3rd, 2020, Tree Hill High School, Tree Hill North Carolina

Nathan shook himself out of his reverie and jogged down the main hallway of Tree Hill High to reach his office. He nodded respectfully at the picture of Brian Durham on the wall, as he'd always done. He purposefully ignored the wall of valedictoreans, as he'd always done. It had become a habit in his long years of blocking out his past.

He sunk gratefully into his desk chair and buried his head in his hands. The memories were too close. He needed to drift away from them again.