Summary: By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes.
-Macbeth, Act 4, Scene 1
A/N: We are nearing November 6, 1983. Am I excited, or am I terrified? You decide.
DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. As the author I do not always agree with the actions the characters take. The MC has Haphephobia. The depiction of such in the story may not be entirely accurate and I do not claim it to be so. The depictions of anxiety and OCD are based on my own personal experience and do not apply to the illnesses as a whole. There will be mentions of various sensitive topics which are updated in the tags, read at your own risk.
October 28, 1983
Fall break had been about what Mads expected. Everyone around her – save Eddie and the Hellfire club – talked about their "exciting" plans for break, like it was some sort of adventure. She saw most of them cavorting about town acting like buffoons, no epic quests in sight. But then again, it wasn't fair to judge the adventures of others by her own; though, hers were arguably more exciting.
Eddie's little experiment was going well, but not always. She'd improved past forty-five seconds of, now, hand holding, but it had taken a lot of raging and crying – mostly at a very patient Eddie – and attempts to prevent disassociation. Thankfully, none of the other residents at the motel decided to call the front desk about the commotion. And, Eddie started rewarding her with miniature Mars bars when she made it without screaming at him.
At first, it pissed her off – she wasn't a kid throwing tantrums about getting a shot, even though that is kind of what it was like – but after the first few times she started getting excited about the chocolate instead of focusing on how scared she was. She was even able to give Eddie a high-five the other day after band practice, much to everyone's surprise and Eddie's delight.
Work was going well. Joyce was mothering her almost as much as Pam Wilson, checking to make sure she was taking her breaks, eating enough, whether she needed help with her homework because, "Jonathan has some of the same teachers, and I help him all the time."
Mads was sure Jonathan wouldn't be pleased to hear that little tidbit shared around, but appreciated the older woman's kindness nonetheless. That was something she was still getting used to. Kindness, kind people. Yeah, there were plenty people like that fuckwit Tommy Hagan and his girlfriend Carol, who Mads had dubbed "The Bitch Queen", but they were in a minority compared to the overwhelming amounts of kind people Mads had met since coming here.
They were nothing like Axel, or Mick, or even Funshine – who, of the three, had been the kindest to her. Nobody here wanted to use Mads for their own gain; though, that probably would change if they knew what she could do. But she was certain that the ones that mattered wouldn't do that to her.
Joyce was one of those people, one-hundred percent. She had a smile for everyone who came in; the "Can I speak to the manager?" ladies, the bord errand-sent teenagers, the gaggle of boys who came in often just to say "hi" because the quietest one was her younger son Will. They all shied away at from Mads, and she didn't blame them. She didn't exactly look welcoming like Joyce Byers.
What was troubling Mads though, was the dreams she started having since her experiments with Eddie. No… since coming here. She had always had bad dreams about the Lab, but they were usually memories. These new dreams were different. They didn't happen every night, but they happened often enough to worry her.
She was at the Lab, but 001 was not there. In fact, none of the other experiments were there. It was just her. But what was worse, was there was a… slit in the wall. Large, viscous… Pulsating. Like a rotten, membranous gateway. It called to her, its voice oily and seductive; it wanted her. But it sometimes called her the wrong number. Mads had been 009 and this thing was calling her 011. With its red, pulsing mass and invasive vines it reminded her of that place. The place she encountered 001's rotting form.
Each time she was made to enter a sensory deprivation chamber. Papa – Dr. Brenner! – had made some of the older, or more powerful, experiments use it sometimes. Said it "helped" them "strengthen their abilities". Sure, it might but she hated the chamber.
Hated the way the water slid over her skin, hated that she had to wear an oxygen tank, hated the feeling of being trapped. Even when she was made to enter it when she was still at the Lab, she would fight the orderlies, fight Papa – Dr. Brenner.
But in her dreams, she could not fight it. Her body moved of its own volition, placing the oxygen mask over her face then entering the water. There would always be a support making sure she could surface, however, Mads couldn't swim and the panic would inevitably set in once she began to submerge in the warm water. And with that panic would come the voice.
The sound was so guttural, like the vocal cords of whatever was speaking had damaged them permanently with equal parts silence and screams. And each time… each time she was put in mind of the soft, gentle voice that haunted her. The one that promised her freedom and protection, only to rip it away once she defied him.
It crooned to her, beckoned to her. Whispering seductive words of power and destruction, attempting to awaken that ruthless part of her which brought her to Hawkins in the first place. The one who tracked down the people who helped hurt her and destroyed their minds before destroying their bodies.
How easy it would have been to cross through that mass, to allow it to swallow her whole, ripping her apart until it reached her very essence, then devour her until there was nothing left but the hatred she had lived with for so long. Would it kill her? Maybe. But that thing had said she belonged to it, so there was the possibility that it wanted her. For what purpose, she wasn't sure. All she knew was that it filled her with that same icy dread she had felt that day at the picnic table in the woods.
The sensuous way it whispered to her… Even when she was sometimes in the body of another during her dreams. She had a few ideas. The rasping, wet sound of its voice indicated nothing but want. Mads did not want to know what that want entailed.
Always, always before she finally awoke – after the torment she would endure at the behest of that awful voice – bright blue eyes would flash before her own like they did in her previous nightmares. However, this time, she could feel that these eyes – now milky and glazed over – could see her. That they knew her. That they were searching for her.
And she would wake up in a cold sweat, flinging her covers off with her mind in her haste to reach the bathroom before she vomited all over the motel room's faded shag carpet. The few nights Eddie stayed over, he never once mentioned how the blankets could reach that far across the room. He only helped her pull her hair back while she puked up her guts into the cold porcelain of the toilet and grabbed her a glass of water along with a wet washcloth to wipe her face.
He would lie back, easily able to without touching her in the large queen-sized bed, and talk and talk and talk until her terror would subside then he would go back to his spot on the couch. And she would listen to him breathe until she fell into a fitful sleep.
That's what he did this night after Mads returned, trembling from the bathroom. He had gathered up her blankets again, without asking what force thudded them against the wall like that, and straightened them back out on the bed. Once she fell limply back into the comforting embrace of the old, springy mattress, he laid down next to her with a weary sigh.
Red numbers from the digital clock next to her bed read three-thirty am. That meant it was Friday morning and they would have to be at school in a few hours. Hellfire met tonight. Eddie mentioned there would be a new member trying out during this part of the campaign. That girl from the library, Tris Buckley. The three of them had English together.
From the tentative tone of his voice, Mads knew he was trying to talk this up. Almost like he was trying to convince her that this girl joining would be exciting for her. She didn't care either way. Tris could join or not, it wasn't up to her.
Eventually, Eddie's voice drifted off and he fell silent; though, not asleep. This was where he would return to the couch like he had the previous times, but he made no move, instead placing his arms underneath his head, settling into them.
Often Mads wondered what he would do if he were able to touch her. Well, more than he could anyway. She wondered if he were interested in her. Was this sort of situation in any way tempting… no, enticing to him?
"Why haven't you tried anything with me?" She blurted, then clapped her hands over her mouth, looking over at him in mortification.
"Oh, ah, well…" Even in the dark, the flush that colored his face was entirely visible. "I assumed you wouldn't be interested. And… I dunno, I'm not interested?"
Mads' pride took a hit at that last comment, but she was mostly curious. People were always… Interested. At least until she freaked out when they tried to touch her.
"Why?" She asked, propping herself up on her elbow to look at him, embarrassment mostly forgotten.
"You don't like to be touched," he began slowly, looking at her from the corner of his eye. "And you're my friend."
"So?"
"So, I don't know, I don't wanna fuck around and ruin a good friendship."
That seemed reasonable, more than reasonable actually. However, Mads wasn't satisfied with that answer. Wasn't satisfied with it at all. It wasn't that she didn't trust Eddie, of course she did. But everyone had something they wanted from her. Maybe it was a dick move to keep pushing him to answer, but she just couldn't help herself.
"Is that all?" She pressed.
"I mean, fuck, Mads," Eddie groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. "You're hot, I'll admit that, but I don't wanna go there with you."
"So, you're not even interested in tryin' to kiss me?" She demanded, sitting up, which caused the springs in the ancient mattress to creak loudly in protest. Her eyes flashed dangerously in the darkness.
"Where is this coming from?" He asked sharply, leaning up on his elbows. His chest was bare and his dark hair fanned out all around him on the cream-colored sheets.
Beautiful was the word they would have used to describe each other in that moment. Beautiful and dangerous, but for different reasons. Mads was fierce and wild. Eddie had no doubts she could kill someone if she wanted. How? He was less sure on that part, but he was sure she could do it.
Eddie was dangerous to Mads in a much more different way. He was her best friend. Her first friend. Now he had her heart in his hands now, and the wrong move would destroy it. Shatter it to pieces, and she wasn't sure if she would ever recover from that.
"I've kissed people before." She said simply.
"How?" He scoffed, though it wasn't unkind. Not really. "You can barely let me hold your hand."
"Well," Mads began, worrying the comforter with her fingers. "Once, I was smokin' dope with this girl and she grabbed me and we kissed. Another time I was on the run from the cops and a friend of a… friend… let me hide at his place if I kissed him. And the last time I was drinkin' with my… friends… and I kissed one of them."
Bile rose in her throat at the memory, the bitter tang permeating her senses like before when she rushed to the bathroom so her traitorous stomach could empty itself of its contents. They had been horrible, those kisses.
One stank of dope and smoke and tasted like ashes on her tongue. The other was ravenous and insistent, leaving her terrified and shaking, the room around them destroyed by more than just her mind. The last one… Axel… She didn't want to think about that one.
"Mads…" Eddie whispered, sitting fully upright now, was completely aware of the hesitation on her use the word "friend". "Did you want to kiss any of them?"
"Oh, no," she answered immediately, the blanket now a mess of pleats. "Not really. Actually, not at all. I hated it."
"Then did they… initiate the kissing or did you?" He asked hesitantly, realization beginning to dawn on him.
"Them, I guess," she admitted, shrugging. "But I must have made them think I wanted them to. I freaked out every time and they all either stopped talkin' to me afterward, or barely interacted with me and found other people to kiss. The last 'friend' got in trouble with… Well, her name's Kali and she was like our leader. He wouldn't even look at me for weeks after."
Shoulders hunched, knees drawn up to her chest… Mads looked so small and fragile in that moment. All Eddie wanted to do was gather her in his arms like that day in the woods, but that would only make things worse. He wanted to protect her, to beat the shit out of those people who took advantage of her. Coward? Yes. But angry best friend beat out coward every time.
"Mads… that's not kissing." He said, his voice shaking. He wasn't really sure what that was, but his Uncle Wayne told him that if he ever caught him laying a hand on a woman – or even kissing them if they didn't want it – like his father had, he would beat Eddie so black and blue no one would recognize him. He took that atypical rant from his uncle to heart.
"I mean, their lips touched mine," she shrugged again, picking at the nail polish on her toes. "That's kissing."
"Yeah," Eddie agreed, trying to make her listen. "But you just said that they made you. That you didn't like it or want to do it."
"And? Isn't that what kissing is?" She asked, her brow furrowing. "I thought you weren't supposed to like it."
"No, Mads. That's not right. What they did wasn't right. I need you to understand that."
Leaning in close, Eddie gripped the blankets in both hands so he wouldn't reach for her. God, Mads was so street smart, but sometimes she was as naïve as a child. It made his heart break for her.
"I'm confused…" She whispered.
"Kissing is fucking awesome," Eddie insisted fervently, fingers digging into the blanket. "Or it's supposed to be… And you should wanna do it with someone you like and feel safe with. Or if you think that person is fucking hot. Never, ever should someone be kissing you if you don't want it."
"Oh," she said in a small voice. "Is that why I didn't like it? I didn't feel safe? I didn't think those people were hot?"
"You said a girl kissed you?" Eddie asked, finally registering that little tidbit.
"Is that a problem?" Mads challenged, eyes flashing in the dark.
"I don't have a problem with you kissing girls," he sighed, rolling his eyes. "I have a problem with girls kissing you without permission. Do you even like girls?"
"I don't think so…" Mads voice was very small again. "But is that why I don't like kissing?"
Fucking hell, Eddie wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep after this conversation. His tired was all gone, replaced by a wired anger that churned uncomfortably in his gut. Mads only felt small and ashamed for reasons she didn't understand.
"Probably," Eddie said after a moment. "That and you're scared of people touchin' you. But I once knew this guy who didn't like that kinda stuff at all. It was kinda weird, but it was his thing and he was nice so it didn't matter. You could be like him."
Mads thought about that for a moment. There were people she wanted to touch – she remembered enjoying when Dr. Brenner held her hand… when 001 had ran his fingers over her shorn hair while he was still Peter. Eddie, while it was still scary to even think about his skin even brushing against hers, wouldn't be so bad to kiss.
"No… I think you're handsome," she admitted finally. "And I've thought about kissing you. That I might actually like it if it was with you, or someone like you."
"Shit, Mads, you're makin' me blush." Eddie laughed, the anger in his stomach dissipating somewhat at her confession.
"But since we don't like each other that way, I don't wanna kiss you." She said quickly, before he got the wrong idea. Not that he would.
"Well duh, that would be weird," Eddie laughed again, running his fingers through his hair. "That's what I was trying to say earlier."
"Really weird." She grinned.
When he finally returned to his spot on the couch, Eddie had been right. Sleep did not come easily to him. Now more than ever, he didn't regret his obstinate pursuit of her friendship. He had his little lost sheep, of course; a coward with a hero complex is what he was. He had to look after her. To protect her in any way he could, especially if it was from herself.
Those scars on her neck… Jesus H. Crucified Christ… He couldn't imagine what that man did to her to mark her up like that, and he certainly didn't want to dwell on it. But that had to be the reason she shied away from even the most minimal contact. That person, if he ever laid eyes on him, coward or not, Eddie would kill him.
He tried not to think about the fact that this guy would probably be a grown adult who had no problem fucking with little girls and he was only a seventeen-year-old freak.
Sleep did not return to Mads for the rest of the night. She tossed, turned, and raged at herself for even bringing up that stupid conversation. It was so disingenuous of her to test Eddie like that. He had been nothing but kind to her, nothing but safe. And she had to go and try to run him off like that. She was a bad friend. Horrid, horrid, horrid.
It didn't matter that this safety scared her. Eddie didn't deserve to be treated like that. But fuck… she just didn't understand how to have relationships with people. Kali and the rest of them, they didn't want to be her friend, they wanted to use her. Eddie made her see that Axel especially wanted to use her.
How could she be so stupid? Her hands drifted up to her lips as a dry, quiet sob escaped them. They were soft, if a little chapped, and she wanted to rip the skin from the muscle there. They used her, made her think she was at fault.
Fuck them.
Laying there in the dark, Mads vowed to rip them to shreds if she ever saw them again. Including Kali. But she also made two more vows in that old motel bed that night. One – which she thought was rather silly, but made it nonetheless – was that she would never kiss anyone, or let them kiss her, unless she really, really wanted it.
And the second, which was much less silly than the first, was to be a better friend to Eddie. No matter what it took.
Energy was high that day at the Freak Table. All five of them were eager for Tris' tryout that night during their campaign, Gareth – who had an obvious crush on the upperclassman – was the most excited. Every chance he could, he brought up tonight's meeing, only to be teased mercilessly by his clubmates. The energy only faltered a bit when he gave Mads a good-natured shove to her shoulder.
Eddie froze mid-roast, which was unusual for him, watching Mads with a horrified expression. She, however, shrugged it off with a stilted laugh and excused herself from the group. No one had noticed, until Eddie shot up and hurried after her.
He found her in the empty girl's bathroom down the hall from the cafeteria. The one with the broken toilets that no one used because of the smell.
She was hunched over the sink, her ringed fingers forming red-painted claws against the cold ceramic. Her shoulders heaved with each inhale she forced into her lungs. She had normally kept up a ward against anyone who would touch her, but she'd been keeping it down around Eddie, allowing him the ability to touch her should he want to. Should she want him to.
It had backfired spectacularly. Nausea roiled in her gut as she took in another heaving breath. Mads hadn't even noticed Eddie enter the bathroom behind her.
"Mads," he whispered and she whirled to face him, pale as a ghost. He took a step towards her and she flinched, bracelets and buckles clattering against the sink when she collided with it.
"C'mon," he said, voice as soft as she'd ever heard it. "'Mads, c'mere it's okay. You're doing great, just breathe."
With a strangled inhale, she stumbled towards him, hooking her fingers around the zipper of his jacket, pulling him as close as she dared.
"Eddie," she said, shaking. "Eddie, Eddie, Eddie."
"I'm here, Mads." He resisted the urge to rub her back or smooth her frazzled hair. The most lost of his little sheeplings. "I'm right here."
They stood like that for a few moments, just breathing. The bathroom smelled of sewage and mildew, the air was clammy and cold. Mads' shuddering breaths punctuated the heavy silence in the room.
"I didn't cry," she whispered after a bit, her fingers making the leather of Eddie's jacket creak. "I breathed and breathed and I didn't cry."
"I know, Mads, I know." Eddie's own voice was slightly strangled. All he wanted to do was tuck her under his chin and hold her there until all the bad feelings went away, but he couldn't.
"Do I get a Mars bar now?" She asked, peering up at him with wide eyes.
Trembles still wracked her body, but she was starting to smile. And so was he. Then he was laughing as he pulled the bite-sized candy from his jacket pocket and dropped it into her greedily awaiting hands. This was working out after all.
Night had fallen upon Hawkins and the Hellfire Club gathered round their table in the Drama Club's storage room, awaiting their newest member's arrival. Gareth's jumpiness was starting to get on Mads' nerves, but she sipped her Coke and clanked her booted feet on the table.
"Sorry!" Tris exclaimed as she burst through the door. "I had to drop my sister off at band."
"Tardiness doesn't bode well…" Eddie said ominously with a wide-eyed glance at Mads' smirking face as she slid her feet to the ground.
"Cut the shit, Munson," Tris said, plopping into the seat next to Mads. "I'm only two minutes late according to my watch."
Gareth, Jeff, and Grant all exchanged looks with each other. It seemed their leader had a penchant for picking up girls that liked bullying him. This was going to be amusing.
With ten times his usual flourish, Eddie launched into their campaign where they left off the last time, waiting until the perfect moment to introduce Tris' character: Rayla the Unkempt, a Druid-barbarian. With her help, the party was able to fend off a hoard of goblins without much damage taken overall.
Mads' Elf-mage, Arwen, rolled a perception check and found a caravan of treasure the goblins had ransacked before the party came upon them. She found herself a new staff which added to her base magic, wisdom, and intelligence stats by +5 and everyone else made out pretty good too. Once they traveled a ways, they came upon the mangled corpses of the looted caravan traders.
"What would you like to do?" Eddie asked after describing the scene in great detail.
Mads stared at the others, chewing on her lip. She knew what she wanted to do, but she barely knew the rules of this game and wasn't sure if it was allowed.
"I want to inspect the bodies," Grant said before she could utter a sentence. Gareth also wanted to inspect the scene to see if there was any treasure left behind.
Only Jeff, Tris, and Mads remained quiet while Eddie told the boys their findings; that the corpses had been mutilated by the goblins and that Gareth had found only a few inconsequential coins in their pockets.
"I want to bury the bodies." Mads eyes flashed, daring the remaining two to challenge her decision.
"Why, Fair Arwen?" Eddie asked, tenting his fingers. "Why bury them? They were nothing to you."
"I won't leave them to rot and be picked apart by carrion birds," she insisted furiously, earning an impressed look from Tris.
"I want to help Arwen bury the traders," the other girl interjected, shooting Mads a conspiratorial smile.
Soon enough, all five party members were clamoring to bury the traders and give them their last rights. Eddie, with a secretive smile, launched into his artful tale of the five heroes working tirelessly in their endeavor to respect the dead.
"Tris, sorry, Rayla," Eddie called, summoning her full attention on him. "Since your party has no cleric and you're their druid, would you be willing to give these poor souls their last rights?"
Tris nodded, looking around the table. Her tongue flicked out of her mouth nervously as she began her entreaty to the gods on behalf of the dead. Once she finished, Eddie took over again.
"A blue light begins to emanate from the freshly dug graves," he said ominously, punctuating his words with exaggerated hand gestures. "Its brightness builds and builds, burning your eyes until it begins to soften, taking the form of wizened old men, hunchbacked crones, youthful maidens, and strapping boys."
The scene unfolded before the group as though they were watching a movie, all eyes transfixed on their remarkable Dungeon Master.
"One of the glowing souls steps away from the group, their leader. An old, but fair and wise man. 'Which one of you has buried us and given us our last rights?' he asks."
All eyes turn to Mads and she shuffled her feet beneath the table in discomfort. They all ultimately helped, and she told the dead man so.
"'You all, then, will receive the greatest treasure we have to offer,' the old man says with a twinkle in his eye. One by one, the bright souls begin to wink out like dying stars in a faraway sky until only the old man is left. He holds his cupped hands out to you, the party, and bids you come closer. What do you do?"
"Move closer, obviously," Grant sniggers.
"In his hands are five twinkling gemstones, each bright blue in color. He hands one to each of you, handing the last one – the dullest – to Arwen. 'These gems will provide you good luck, charmed speak when haggling, and – should you have the affinity – you can summon us to your side during battle.' Then the old man begins to flicker, his light beginning to die out before he offers one last word of parting, 'Thank you…' then he disappears into Arwen's gemstone, rendering it the most brilliant of all."
"And that's where we leave off tonight's campaign," Eddie said, looking at his wrist, though he didn't wear a watch.
The boys all groaned in frustration at the end, hoping for a much more battle heavy session to show off in front of Tris, but Eddie hushed them.
"Now, now," he admonished, frowning comically. "I think we owe our newest club member a round of applause and a hearty handshake!"
The boys all whooped, and clambered from their seats noisily to offer Tris their hands, which she shook good naturedly, laughing all the while. Until a shadow loomed before her in the shape of Mads' silhouette.
Eddie, who had also stood to shake Tris' hand, froze at the end of the table when he noticed what was going on. Mads stood before Tris, face as set as a granite slab and lined with determination, her slender hand outstretched without a single tremble.
"Congratulations," she said in a soft, soft voice. "Hellfire is happy to have you."
Tris swallowed before reaching out to grasp Mads' hand in her own. The new girl wasn't what she expected at all. The permanent scowl and motorcycle alone would drive most people away, but Tris had heard the rumors.
That she'd attacked Steve Harrington in the forest outside the school, her face covered in blood. That she could crush an apple in her bare hands. That she stripped naked and danced in the light of the full moon, using her menstrual blood to summon the devil. That she was an escaped mental asylum convict who murdered her whole family.
Tris may be getting a C+ in Ms. O'Donall's, but she wasn't stupid enough to believe most of those rumors, if any of them. She knew, more than likely, Mads was just an eccentric girl who had a bad temper. And she seemed sweet. Eddie Munson didn't hang out with just anyone.
But Tris did notice the slight tremor in the other girl's hand when she withdrew from the handshake. How she pulled at her fingers as if to banish Tris' touch, looking towards Eddie expectantly, who stood, mouth gaping before he snapped out of his trance. He quickly pulled a full-sized Mars Bar from the jacket he'd laid over the back of his throne and threw it to Mads. How curious.
Euphoric pleasure coursed through Mads as she tore into her candy bar, ignoring the protests of the three teenage boys who were starving and why couldn't they have candy too? And Eddie's loud rebuttals. She met Tris' inquiring – and strangely sad – gaze as she bit into the nougat and chocolate with a wink.
The night was harshly cold as Mads drove her bike through the dark, winding backroads, her mouth and hands still sticky with her chocolaty reward. The others had gone to Benny's for burgers, as was their custom after a session, but she and Tris had not gone. The latter having to return her sister safely home.
Mads usually didn't go because she had work on Saturday mornings, but tonight… Tonight she had a mission. One that she would see through to the very end. Eddie had given her the location of the Lab. Those nightmares had haunted her long enough. Now was the time to find a way in and form a plan. She was becoming braver, stronger.
It was now or never.
Mads parked her bike off the road, walking it into the woods a ways before setting off on foot. She walked, and walked, and walked for what seemed like hours until she caught sight of chain-link fencing and floodlights. Terror like ice water flooded her chest as she inhaled sharply.
She had found it. It was a huge, ugly complex and exactly as she had remembered it from her escape. There were some new security measures that appeared in the five years since she fled, but everything else appeared much the same.
Still under the cover of the forest surrounding the facility, Mads sat down on the loamy earth, uncaring if the moss and dirt stained her jeans. Placing her hands, palm facing downward, on her crossed legs Mads began to slow her breathing. Let herself drift.
There was that same, familiar pull she always experienced when her consciousness left her body. The cold emptiness of the black void surrounding her like a thick, heavy blanket. It didn't take long for her to reach the place she was looking for. She was inside.
But she was in the Rainbow Room. Frustration boiled within her; she had meant to project past the fence or into the front door, not this fucking room. A deep, echoing breath in and out. This was fine, it was fine. She could deal with this, wander around a bit and find a way in. There was plenty of time for her plan to fall into place.
Mads turned from the deserted room to open one of the doors leading to the corridor, but it wouldn't open. That was curious. Most times when searching like this, she could interact with things physically without the restraints – or notice – of a normal person. If she were really feeling fancy, she could project herself through solid objects, but that required a lot of energy and she needed to conserve that for later clandestine operations. She didn't want to pass out on her way back home from a migraine and bloody nose.
"Well, well, look who decided to join us," a soft, angelic voice said from behind her.
She knew that voice. She knew that voice. Her heart began to thunder in her chest, her throat, her ears, her brain, anywhere it could try and escape.
Whirling, her stomach bottomed out and her bowels turned watery. The scene before her was a grisly one. All of the experiments… the children she knew and played with, were standing on broken limbs. Eyes gouged, leaking bloody tears down their cheeks, onto the now reddening white floor. In the middle of them stood Peter, white uniform stained pink, red, and brown with their blood.
"What did you do?" She asked, trembling, trembling, trembling before him like a fucking animal. "What did you do!?"
"I enlightened them," he said, smiling sweetly at her – eyes shining with blue fire, and took a careful step forward. "They are with me always now."
"You killed them!" Mads cried, her hand flying to her throat to stifle the bile which threatened to expel itself. "You sick fuck! I knew without the Soteria you'd be dangerous…!"
A disappointed frown crossed Peter's face as he stepped closer and closer to her. Her feet were rooted to the floor. Just like that day by the picnic table. She couldn't fucking move. The eyeless faces of the children she knew all turned toward her in tandem as Peter finally reached her, tilting her chin upward with a long-fingered hand. An image flashed of grotesquely lengthened nails and fingers, but from what she could see, it was only the soft, well-manicured hands that had wrapped around her throat all those years ago.
"You could have been here for this, 009 – sorry – Madison…" He smiled at her again, but there was a darkness behind his blue eyes. "You've become so beautiful… So powerful…"
"Don't call me that," she hissed, attempting to twist from his grip. "You don't get to call me that."
"Oh, dear. Don't pretend like we aren't the same, you and I," he crooned, lifting her face back to his. It hurt to look at him; he was so, so tall. "You wanted to come here and kill them all, you shouldn't be angry that I got to it before you. You should thank me. You should be pleased…"
"I wanted to free them!" She yelled, thrashing in his grip. Why couldn't he just let go? "I wanted these kids alive!"
He regarded her as a patient parent regards a child throwing a tantrum. His long fingers slid through the tangled mess of her astral hair, keeping her face upturned with the other. She wanted to be sick.
"So perfect, just like I thought you would be…" He murmured, devouring her whole with his blue-flame eyes. "So, so perfect. So angry."
"Why?" She sobbed, tearing at his hands with her own.
"To free them," he answered, leaning in to press his lips to the crown of her head. "I wanted you to be there with me… But you fled. Why did you flee, Madison? Why did you run from me?"
Why had she fled? She remembered how nice Peter had been to her before… How she even loved him more than Papa. More than the nurse who gave her Hello Kitty Band-Aids and candies when Papa couldn't see. She remembered holding Peter's hand, clinging to him when 002 would bully her. When Kali had escaped. How he protected her, called himself her friend. Her first friend.
"Oh, how you'd cling to me, little one…" He purred against her hair, thumb ghosting over her lips. "Like a baby spider clinging to its web."
But Eddie said friends don't make people do things they don't want to do… And Eddie was her friend. Her Best Friend. He helped her be brave and gave her chocolate and encouragement when she wasn't. Eddie was her first friend, not Peter – not 001.
Anger coursed through her and she threw up her hands, blasting 001 away from her with a cry of fury that would have shattered the mirrors of the Rainbow Room had she been real. The look of rage in 001's eyes when he hit the wall, scattering the mangled corpses of the test subjects in his wake, was terrifying. If she had stopped to stare long enough, Mads would have seen the image blurring around the edges. That rotting flesh would have replaced smooth skin; stringy balding hair would replace soft, angelic curls; one blue eye would have glazed over, milky and dead looking.
Instead, she slammed her hands to the ground, rippling the floor beneath her as the tremor moved outwards and up the wall, shattering the illusion. Shattering the figure of 001 – not Peter – reaching for her with claw-like hands.
Once again, she was in the dark, alone. Had she even made it into the lab at all? A distorted howl sounded in the distance, prompting her legs to move before her brain could even make them. Chest heaving and legs pumping, Mads ran and ran feeling as though she weren't making any progress. And the creature was gaining on her.
But there, sitting in the dark in front of her, was her physical form. Relief hit her like a ton of bricks as she made the leap back into her body, rushing to her feet with a wild gasp. The lights of the Lab were flickering wildly. Her hand flew to her nose and came away warm and bloody.
Fuck.
She needed to run.
A/N: Like, I love Jamie Bower. I have since the Twilight movies (yes, I am outing myself here, I know), but his performance as Henry/001/Peter/Vecna scared the shit out of me. I tried my best to create the skin crawling feeling here. And it's meant to be a complement to his acting, not a criticism btw!
Chapter title is taken from "I Was a Teenage Werewolf" by the Cramps on the studio album "Songs the Lord Taught Us" released in 1980.
Thanks for the follows, favorites, and reviews! I appreciate each one! (Please don't forget to leave a review if you liked the story so far!)
This is the "mixtape" I created for this fic. It's not entirely period accurate, but I feel like these songs fit the theme of the show and characters.
playlist/2w0Fg6UPmVvj5L3EIMRYfw?si=d8e38810c96f4875
