Chapter 10
Harry had hardly finished speaking, when a loud terrified squeal was heard. It came from Peter Pettigrew, who wriggled on his chair like a fish out of water. Sirius Black, who could not grasp Harry's just pronounced allegation, turned, irritated, to his friend and asked,
"Peter, what the hell is wrong with you?"
"I chained him with my magic. Since I have finally the chance to kill him, it would be a real shame, if he would escape from me again, wouldn't it?" Harry answered instead of Peter with a calm icy voice.
"My son!" James whispered whose face had lost all colour and who obviously hadn't understand a word of what had been just said.
"Kill him? Why would you want to kill him? He didn't do anything to you!" Sirius exclaimed at the same moment.
"Peter Pettigrew betrayed my mother to Voldemort."
Harry's reply jolted James out of his paralysis.
"What? No, that's impossible. He was with us the morning Lily disappeared," James protested and looked from his frightened friend to the young wizard who had turned his world upside down.
"I don't believe him! Never ever is he James' son! And Peter shall be a traitor? Why would he have betrayed Lily? Furthermore, we still don't know how he came through the wards!" Alastor Moody threw in, who apparently wasn't taken in the slightest with being in the same room as the Dark Lord's heir.
Albus nodded thoughtfully.
"Perhaps we should try to answer question after question. Otherwise it will only dwindle into chaos and we will not make any headway at all. Who Harry's parents are, is easily ascertained. We would just need a bit blood from him. Would you agree to this?" the old wizard asked and looked at Harry.
Although the similarity between Harry and James allowed only one conclusion in his opinion, it would nevertheless be better to clear up any doubts. Apart from that, inheritance sometimes played curious games. He for example had resembled his father little but for that his great grandfather all the more.
So he expectantly regarded the alleged son of James. Harry returned his gaze and finally nodded.
"Why not? Does anyone have a knife by chance?"
Sirius reached into one of his many pockets and pulled out a small knife. Harry took it with thanks, slid the blade across his index finger and let the blood drop on the table.
Albus raised his wand and murmured,
"Parentes indica."
Around the red droplets of blood a glowing white light appeared that blinded every one present who were staring spellbound at the table. An invisible force began to write blazing letters in the air and as the brightness of the light slowly faded, two names remained behind:
Lily Anne Potter
James Frederick Potter
For one instant there was stunned silence. Then many of the Order members broke out into excited whispering and Alice Longbottom, who had been a close friend of Lily's, asked,
"But what happened then?"
Harry who had also stared at the table lifted his head and said,
"I don't know. I was too young to understand everything. Only years later I realized what my mother wanted to tell me with her stories. Ever since I can remember she told me stories about Hogwarts, the Marauders and the Order of the Phoenix. These stories were our secret. And though she impressed on me not to speak about it to anyone else, she took a tremendous risk. If I had ever said a word about our stories to Voldemort or the others, she would have been killed. The Dark Lord often came and played with me or taught me spells, as well as Bellatrix Lestrange and other high- ranking Death Eaters. I loved them and considered them my family.
I was a cheerful child and I was happy. Though I knew that something wasn't right, my mother saw to it that it didn't burden me. For my mother it must have been very hard then, but I didn't notice anything of it. While Voldemort taught me how worthless Muggles were and all those who didn't fight on our side, my mother taught me the exact opposite, of course without his knowledge. For me it was incredible fascinating to have so many secrets. I loved her stories and wanted to hear as many as possible. And she told them to me, regardless of the danger.
Nearly every story was about James Potter. She called him always Daddy. Voldemort, however, I was supposed to call Father. She told me that he wasn't my real father, but that I had to call him that and that he had killed my Daddy. But since I didn't understand it, it hadn't any meaning for me then."
"Lily said I was dead? Why? What only made her say that?" James asked unbelievingly.
Harry looked at him blankly.
"Voldemort is a master of deception and manipulation. Certainly he didn't find it difficult to convince my mother of your death. However he achieved it, she believed him.
Perhaps he didn't deceive her only in this matter, but also with regard to Peter Pettigrew. I don't know whether he truly had something to do with her abduction, but my mother told me he had betrayed her."
James turned to Peter and observed the frightened face of his friend who promptly squeaked,
"I didn't do anything, James! I didn't do anything! You will…not believe him, will you?"
"That's sheer insanity! That day Peter was together with us the entire time! How should he have betrayed Lily?" Sirius said and alleged the same pretext as James a while ago.
James' however stared at Peter. He didn't want to believe it. It couldn't be that Peter had had something to do with Lily's disappearance. It just couldn't be. But if Peter was innocent, then why did he evade his gaze?
James raised one hand and ran it tiredly across his forehead. His exhaustion prevented him from thinking clearly.
First this horrid battle, then the news that Remus had been taken prisoner and now he had discovered within shortest time that his wife was dead and that he had a son of whose existence he hadn't had the faintest idea.
And to cap it all, this son now claimed that one of his friends had betrayed Lily. Had Lily really accused Peter?
"Do you have here Veritaserum?" Harry asked coldly.
Albus Dumbledore nodded.
"I think we have indeed still a little rest left over. We have never questioned one of our members under Veritaserum, however."
Harry raised an eyebrow.
"Perhaps you should have done it."
"We don't have any traitors in our lines! Of this I assure you!" Alastor sharply replied and leaned forwards.
"I want to know the truth and you won't forbid it, Albus, neither you, Alastor. As long as there is the tiniest possibility that Peter had had something to do with Lily's abduction, I am for it," James could be suddenly heard and stood up.
He ignored the unbelieving and disappointed look Sirius sent him and stepped to a cabinet. He opened it and fetched out a little vial in which a tiny amount of a clear liquid was.
With his back to the others, he rigidly remained standing. Involuntarily he had remembered the day Sirius, Remus, Peter and he had vowed eternal friendship at the riverside of the Hogwarts Lake: a friendship which he just had betrayed with his statement.
But he had to know. He had to extinguish this gnawing doubt that Harry had evoked with his allegation. In addition, he didn't see a reason why Harry should lie.
He took a deep breath and turned around.
"You believe him, James?" Alastor asked bewildered and watched how James uncorked the flask.
"I…I only want to make sure of it. Besides, Harry didn't lie earlier, did he? So why should he do it now?" James replied defensively.
"You can't be serious, James! You cannot do that! It just can't be true," Sirius tried to dissuade James from his decision.
James cast a fleeting glance at him and stepped to Peter, who looked at him like an animal that had got caught in a trap and was unable to free itself on its own. His mouth formed sounds, but James didn't understand one word as indistinctly as Peter spoke. James wavered in his intention.
Harry took the decision away from him, as he stood up and went to him.
"I'll help you."
While Harry and James poured the liquid down Peter's throat who resisted them to no avail, countless members cast insecure, aghast glances in direction of their actual leader as if they expected Albus to say something against it, but the founder of the Order of the Phoenix didn't intervene.
In the meantime James put the empty flacon back on the table and asked reluctantly,
"Peter, did you betray Lily to Voldemort?"
"Yes," Peter said flatly.
James blinked. Then he realized the full meaning of Peter's answer. With a loud scream of rage he rushed at the wizard who had still been his friend a moment ago.
Perhaps he would have killed Peter, as furious as he was hitting out at him, but Sirius and Bill Weasley restrained him.
"Let go of me!"
"James! Be sensible! If you kill him, he won't be able to tell us anything anymore!" Sirius exclaimed and tightened his grip around James' arms.
"You can kill him later," he said grimly.
James stopped his struggling and nodded shortly, whereupon Sirius looked at him inquiringly.
As soon as Sirius had let go of him, James spun around to Peter and asked with gritted teeth,
"How…did…you…betray…Lily?"
Terribly battered and dazed from the Veritaserum, Peter answered in a monotonous voice,
"When I was in Diagon Alley one evening, Lucius Malfoy waylaid me. Together with two other Death Eaters he dragged me into a corner and told me the Dark Lord had taken a fancy to Lily and had given them the order to bring her to him. I should help them to abduct her. They didn't want a fight which could have warned the Order that Lily was their target and they wanted to prevent under any circumstances that the Order could have taken any precautions.
They forced me to steal James' hairbrush so that they would be able to make Polyjuice Potion and to tell them how to pass the wards which surrounded Godric's Hollow. I think it was Lucius who abducted Lily."
"So that's why she took her clothes with her," James moaned and buried his head in his hands.
"She thought it was me."
"Were you a spy ever since, Peter?" Albus wanted to know and tensely looked at Peter.
"No. Severus Snape's information was sufficient for them."
"Did you do the Death Eaters other services?"
"No."
While Albus nodded relieved, James raised his head and asked in a breaking voice,
"Why? Why did you do that? Why did you betray my Lily?"
"I had to do it. I had no choice. Otherwise they would have killed me."
"You had to hand my mother over to Voldemort? You had to?"
Harry was seized with white-hot rage. This stubby wizard had willingly helped to abduct his mother! He had brought disaster upon her! The hate swept Harry away. For a fraction of a moment the room was illuminated by a blazing, green light. Then Peter Pettigrew's lifeless body fell to the floor.
Quite a few Order members screamed out and again wands were pointed at Harry.
Albus sighed gravely.
"You shouldn't have done that, Harry. It would have been better to arrest him. You…"
Harry turned around and looked straight into Albus' face.
"This creature betrayed my mother, Dumbledore. And I absolutely don't care, if you endorse it or not. He deserved his punishment. But be it as it may we didn't come for Pettigrew, but because I need your help. I want to kill Voldemort. I can't do it alone, however. I can't fight against him and his followers simultaneously. But if you would distract his Death Eaters, I could take care of Voldemort."
"You want that we help you? You've just murdered one of our members! Even if he was a traitor, your deed is nowhere near excused by this fact. You are a dark wizard!" Alastor growled threateningly.
"And you? Did you never kill anyone? You are an Auror, aren't you?" Harry remarked angrily.
"I killed, yes. But my opponents weren't helpless. Each and every one of them I killed in battle!"
"Please, do stop quarrelling! All of you can trust Harry! He has helped me and saved my life, as well as the lives of Katie, Cho and Anne! And…" Ginny suddenly interfered, who was incapable of bearing the hostility the Order showed to Harry.
"Katie is alive?" Mrs. Bell exclaimed and lifted her head jerkily. The Changs also looked hopefully to Ginny.
"Yes, Katie and Cho are alive. Harry rescued them. I'm sorry I didn't mention it earlier."
"Oh, thank goodness! But why didn't they come with you?"
Ginny quickly averted her gaze from Mrs. Chang and, seeking aid, she looked at Harry.
"The girls were raped and tortured. Currently they are recovering in my chambers. It would have been too dangerous to take them with us. Besides, they would have been far too exhausted," Harry said.
Deeply shaken, the Changs and Bells stared at Harry.
"Be grateful that your daughters are alive. The other two students were killed."
Professor Sprout, the head of Hufflepuff house, flinched. With tears in her eyes she whispered,
"We have to inform their parents, Albus."
Grief-stricken Albus nodded.
"Yes," he said.
"That we must…"
"We don't have much time left. We have to return soon. Will you help us now or not?" Harry interrupted him impatiently.
Albus cast a glance at James, who sat slumped together on one of the chairs, looked finally at Harry and said slowly,
"We have been fighting against Voldemort and his followers for twenty-three years. To this day we didn't succeed in defeating the Dark Side. And I have given up hope long ago that we will ever manage that. Should we ally ourselves with you, we could succeed, however. I'm quite aware of that.
But if we would decide to trust you and then had to find out that you deceived us we would all be in mortal danger. This risk we have to consider. Apart from that, Alastor is right. You are a dark wizard, who has no scruples to torture and kill. On the other hand you have helped Miss Weasley here and, according to her declaration, you also saved Mr. Weasley's life as well as the life of three other of our students. For this I thank you."
After a short pause he continued,
"Hence, I am inclined to support you with my Order. But first I want you to answer a question I have. You'll have to understand that I have certain doubts. Why do you hate Voldemort so much?"
While Albus was speaking, he tried to read the face of the young wizard. He had no success, however. Harry's face didn't reveal anything.
Albus knew how much depended on his decision, knew that they needed Harry's help and yet he had to be sure. What if Harry wanted to kill Voldemort only to seize power for himself? What if it was nothing than a daring venture for Harry?
"Does it really matter so much? Without Harry I would probably be dead! And my Dad, Cho, Katie and Anne as well! We have to do something! I have seen Mr. Lupin and Miss Tonks and the many other prisoners! We have to rescue them! Believe me, you can trust Harry!" Ginny exclaimed and looked beseechingly at the leader of the Order.
She wanted to continue, but Harry was faster.
"You want to know, why I want to kill Voldemort, Dumbledore? If you borrow me your Pensieve, I will show you. May I?"
Although it wasn't quite clear to Albus, what Harry intended, he nodded. Harry, who had noticed the magical object a while ago, went over to the table, on which the glassy bowl stood and stopped in front of it.
He closed his eyes and put his hand to his temple. Shortly afterwards Harry's hand glowed in a silvery light. He dipped it into the Pensieve and fleetingly touched the white-silvery surface the oval bowl contained.
He took a step back and made a strange movement with his hand. In the air a bright shimmering light appeared which expanded itself into a large square.
Then Harry sat next to Ginny and said,
"You all will be able to see my memories."
Something in Harry's cold voice worried Ginny. Spontaneously she reached once more for his hand. Harry squeezed it hard, but nothing stirred in his face. Ginny bestowed yet a long glance upon him, before she riveted her attention on the bright square. In the meantime a picture had appeared in the middle of the shimmering screen.
Excited, the little boy ran towards the window.
"Mama! It's snowing! Look!" Harry shouted and pressed his forehead against the cold glass.
The young red-haired woman, who had sat in one of the chairs in front of the fireplace, rose and stepped to the window, too.
"Can we go into the park? Yes? We could have a snowball fight!"
With a soft laugh Lily put an arm around her son's shoulders.
"Perhaps tomorrow, Harry. First the snow must lie. Or else it will not even suffice for a single snowball."
Seeing Harry's disappointment, she tousled his raven hair and said,
"We will go into the park tomorrow. By then there will have fallen enough snow and then we can have as many snowball fights as you want."
"Promised?"
Lily bent down and gave Harry a kiss.
"Tomorrow, my little one."
Beaming with happiness Harry nodded and looked again to the snowflakes and tried to count them. A smile flitted across Lily's face. But in the next instant it disappeared. Frozen, she listened to the approaching steps.
The door opened and accompanied by a few of his closest followers the Dark Lord entered the room. Harry spun around.
"Father! Aunt Bella! It has started to snow!"
While Harry flung himself into Voldemort's arms, Lily silently kneeled down. Even if she kept her head bowed, she didn't miss anything that happened before her.
Bellatrix Lestrange gave a loud laugh and hugged Harry close.
"Yes, we noticed it, too. But I fear you will not have time until tomorrow afternoon to go to the park. Your father has decided that you are to receive additional lessons."
Questioningly Harry looked over to Voldemort.
"Indeed, my son. I think it is time for you to learn the Dark Arts. You are now old enough.
Lucius, here, will teach you and…"
"No! He most certainly will not! Harry will never learn the Unforgivable Curses. I will not allow this!"
Astonished, Harry looked to his mother who had risen in the meantime and gazed at the Dark Lord challengingly.
In the presence of his father she had up to now rarely spoken a word, and if she had her voice had been always soft, nearly inaudible. He knew that his mother didn't like his father very much, although he didn't understand the reason for it.
But he knew about the Unforgivable Curses. His mother had told him about them and not only had she forbidden him to learn them, but he had also had to promise her never to use those curses. So he quickly said,
"I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to learn them. I have promised it Mama."
Harry looked up at his father and startled flinched back. He had never seen his father so angry before.
"You! How dare you make Henry promise such things! Do you think you can prevent my son from becoming a feared dark wizard and my successor one day?"
The Dark Lord didn't shout, but his tone caused Harry to shiver.
"Yes! I will prevent it! You will not turn my son into a heartless, merciless killer! Never will he follow you, Voldemort! Nor will he ever be your successor!"
Stunned, the Dark Lord stared at the young woman. He had thought to have had broken her will completely. But as he now looked into her eyes that sparkled with anger he realized that he had been mistaken. Lily Potter had deceived him! And was indeed trying to bring his son up against him!
"Crucio!"
Lily's screams shocked Harry to the core.
"Mama!"
Harry wanted to run to his mother, but was held back by Bellatrix Lestrange and Narcissa Malfoy.
"No! Stop it, Father! Please stop it! Aunt Bella, help her! Aunt Cissa, make him stop!"
But however much he struggled Harry didn't manage to free himself from the women's grasps. Crying, he kept beseeching them to stop the curse. Why? Why did his father hurt his mother?
As the Dark Lord lifted the curse after a while, Lily was lying motionlessly on the patterned carpet. She didn't stir.
"Mama! Mama!"
The frightened voice of her child gave Lily the strength to get back on her knees. She raised her head and said hoarsely,
"Harry, listen to me: Promise me that you never will follow Voldemort and that you never will kill Muggles and..."
"Be silent! If you…"
"…torture anyone. The Muggles aren't worthless and remember that I am also a Muggleborn witch…"
Voldemort, who asked himself what further lies this Mudblood had told his son, was meanwhile so beside himself that he shouted,
"Avada Kedavra!"
Seeing how Voldemort raised his wand once more, Harry, quick as lightning, leaned forwards and bit Narcissa in the arm. With a yelp she let go of him. Only driven by the thought of having to protect his mother, Harry lashed out so fiercely that he was able to free himself from Bella's grip and started to run.
The blazing green light hit him with incredible force. Everything began to spin around in his head. He couldn't breathe anymore and the last thing he heard, before darkness engulfed him, was,
"Harry! No!"
Lily dropped to her knees next to Harry and took him in her arms. She stared at the bleeding wound on his forehead, listened to his breaths. But Harry remained still, and didn't breathe.
"Harry," Lily whispered brokenly and couldn't understand it.
Harry could not be dead! That was impossible. Why didn't her spell work? She had been sure that she had done everything right, had been convinced that she had protected Harry effectively. Whatever had she overlooked?
Abruptly she leaped to her feet.
"You wretched bastard! You killed him!"
Blinded with tears Lily flung herself at the Dark Lord and pounded her fists against him.
For all these years she had only lived because of her child, only for Harry she had survived day after day. For James' and her child she had endured everything, had suffered Voldemort's touches and had resigned herself to her fate. All her thoughts and efforts had been concentrated on Harry. Only Harry had given her life still a sense. But now everything was destroyed. Nothing was left to her. The wish to die became overwhelming.
But all of a sudden she felt magic surrounding her, warm and immensely comforting. Her vital force floated away, but Lily's heart was laughing.
The pain as the Dark Lord slapped her brutally on the face, she scarcely noticed.
"Mama!"
Lily staggered and fell. Seconds before she hit the edge of the table, she still heard the frantic voice of Harry. Never before had she felt such joy, never before had her smile been so radiant.
She had managed it. Her charm had functioned. Harry was living.
Unnoticed by them all, Harry had sat up. Without paying attention to the blood which was running down his cheeks, Harry stumbled to his mother and shook her by the shoulder.
"Mama! Wake up! Please, wake up! Wake up! Mama!"
But Lily didn't move. Harry stared at his mother and began to tremble. Slowly the realization dawned on him. Then he jumped up and riveted his gaze on Voldemort and his followers who looked at him completely consternated and screamed,
"You killed her! I hate you! I hate you all! I will kill you all! I hate you Voldemort!"
Narcissa extended her hands towards him and took a step towards him, but before she could have reached him, Harry dashed out of the room.
The bright square glowed shortly and disappeared. Ginny sniffled and wiped away her tears. Only now did she notice that Harry was clutching her left hand far too tightly. He hurt her, but she didn't make any attempt to withdraw her hand. Looking at Harry, she bit her lips. He was rigidly gazing straight ahead. His face was as white as chalk. She wanted to say something, wanted to comfort him, but she felt choked with emotion. She couldn't utter a word as shaken as she was.
Judging by the silence that reigned in the room and which was only broken by James' quiet crying, the others present fared not differently. Sirius Black and Alice Longbottom still stared at the place where they had seen Harry's memories. Albus Dumbledore sadly regarded his hands.
"You survived the Killing Curse? But that is impossible! That is…How could that have happened?" an Order member finally dared to ask.
With incredible slowness Harry turned his head in the direction of the wizard who had spoken.
"I don't know. But the reason is rather unimportant at the moment, isn't it? Voldemort murdered my mother and for this he will pay. And I will kill him, with or without your help."
"I will help you," James said in a tearful voice.
Harry's and James' gazes met. For a long time they silently looked at each other.
That Albus nodded, neither of them noticed.
"We as well, I think we all agree to that?" Albus said and looked around.
In the faces of his Order members he saw guarded assent. And even Alastor Moody didn't raise any objection.
Although neither he nor Albus could rule out that Harry could turn into a second Dark Lord, once Voldemort was dead, both saw the chance to finally defeat Voldemort. Besides, it was quite possibly that the new found Potter would not follow in Voldemort's footsteps.
"Good, then listen. I have the following plan," Harry said with a dangerous glint in his eyes.
Approximately one hour later Harry and Ginny hurried through the dark, narrow secret passage way which wound along deep under the Forbidden Forest. That he had remembered the secret passage out of the narrations his mother had told him had been sheer luck. Undoubtedly it would have been much more difficult to get into the castle otherwise, if not impossible.
Despite his magical light that he had conjured up for Ginny and himself, Harry tripped rather often, but that might lie on the fact that his mind wasn't paying any attention to the consistency of the ground.
What on earth had possessed him to show them all what had happened? But he knew it. The hatred he felt for Voldemort and his overwhelming desire for revenge had been stronger than his fear to face his past. And he had known that Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix would allow themselves to be convinced only by the truth to ally themselves with him. He hadn't had another choice. Words alone would not have been enough. The Order would not have believed him.
Perhaps it would have been wiser to try to speak with Dumbledore first instead with the entire Order as Ginny had suggested it at midday today. The fight in Hogsmeade, however, had made that appear a minor matter.
To finally take vengeance on Voldemort had become his top priority. But now it was too late anyway. Even if he had not intended it, it had happened. He couldn't change it anymore and had to come to terms with it. What was most important was that he had managed to get the Order on his side.
That was the only good thing that the present day had bestowed on him. In the same moment as he thought this, he recalled the face of James Potter. The discovery that his natural father was alive had thrown him off balance. He still couldn't quite believe it, could not even say whether he was glad about it. It was a strange, indescribable feeling. He had a father whom he neither had ever seen nor knew. And yet James Potter was no utter stranger to him. His mother's stories had made sure of it.
"Harry, look out!"
Thanks to Ginny's warning he managed just in time to avoid a highly branched root. He ducked, stifled a curse and riveted his attention again on the way.
After a while Harry and Ginny left the underground passage and Harry called Rainbow who had waited for them. The phoenix trilled a short greeting and moments later they flew through the starlit night.
Ginny clung to Harry and cast a last glance over her shoulder. If she strained her eyes, she could barely spot the lights of Hogwarts in the distance. She had found it more difficult than she had thought to separate again from her mother and brothers who absolutely hadn't wanted to let her go. It had been Albus Dumbledore who had persuaded them of the necessity so that her family had been forced to agree in the end.
Yes, she had to fulfill a task, Ginny thought. She, too, would contribute to their plan having success. And yet she could not forget the expression on her mother's face.
The arrival in the Dark Lord's headquarters suppressed any thought of her mother and brothers for the time being. As they had reached Harry's chambers, Ginny went to her Dad. Relieved, that he was sleeping peacefully, she gave him a goodnight kiss and then looked after Katie, Cho and Anne. As quietly as she could Ginny left the bedroom again and closed the door behind her.
While taking Harry's wand from the table and transforming one of the armchairs into a second bed, she agonized over how she could help Harry. Since he had explained his plan to the Order, he hadn't spoken a single word.
And now he stood rigidly at the window and stared into the park. The lack of any emotion scared her.
Hesitantly she stepped to him, put her arms around him and snuggled up to his back.
"Everything will be all right, Harry. We will defeat Voldemort. Believe me, Harry. Everything will be all right," she whispered.
Harry turned to her and looked at her desperately.
"It was my fault, Ginny. If only I had said to Voldemort that I would learn the Unforgivable Curses, nothing would have happened. And we could have escaped some day. We would have found out that Dad was still alive and together we could have become happy. We only would have had to wait a few years. Then I could have left the castle. I could have simply taken her along!"
Ginny felt Harry tremble and hugged him tighter.
"You were far too little to understand the situation with all its consequences. You couldn't have known it, Harry. It was not your fault."
Harry shook his head.
"She did it on purpose. Of her own accord she never spoke in Voldemort's presence. But on that day she did. And why? Because she didn't want me to learn the Dark Arts! And what have I done? I learned them, Ginny. I used them, I tortured and killed. I broke my promise to her. It was senseless, everything was so senseless."
"Harry…"
"She wanted to get me to hate him. She tried it. She told me what Voldemort had done, but I didn't understand. I didn't understand it!"
"Harry! Listen to me."
Weighing her words carefully, Ginny continued,
"Even if you had understood it, do you think this would have made a difference? Your mother wanted to protect you and to prevent at any costs that you would follow Voldemort. She did what she thought to be right. It was her decision, Harry."
"I should have protected her."
"You were a child! To protect your mother was not your responsibility, Harry!
She knew what she did. She was a very brave woman, who loved you more than anything else. Don't you think that she would want you to be happy? She would not want you to blame yourself for her death."
Ginny was silent for a moment and then said in a firm voice,
"It wasn't your fault, Harry. You didn't abduct her and you didn't kill her. It was Voldemort who did that. It was his fault and not yours. Believe me, Harry, your mother would tell you the same if she would be here now."
Harry looked at her doubtfully.
"Oh, Ginny. I miss her so much."
His voice broke and he gave a sob. He hugged her fiercely to him and buried his head in her shoulder. Ginny held him fast and ran a hand over his hair, murmuring soothing words. She was glad that he was at last weeping. Though it was merely an assumption, she was rather certain that Harry had never cried for his mother. Not capable of processing the traumatizing events Harry had buried all his hate, his sadness and his feelings of guilt which weighed so heavily on him, deep down in his soul.
Ginny thought of the little child who, radiant with joy, had watched the snowflakes and burning tears welled up in her eyes. How lonely and lost Harry must have felt in the following years, betrayed by those he had loved.
"Hold me, Gin, hold me."
"I am holding you, Harry," she said quietly.
Harry straightened and stared at her. He bent down and kissed her; first gently, then more passionately. She flung her arms around Harry's neck and kissed him back as fiercely as he kissed her. Harry clung to her as if his life depended on it. His face glowed feverishly.
The today's happenings seemed to exact its toll. But Ginny didn't care whether Harry was shortly before breaking down as he shoved her in direction of the bed.
She gazed into Harry's emerald eyes and realized that she loved him, realized that he needed her and even if it would not lessen his feelings of guilt and desperation, she could at least comfort him a little.
And she needed Harry as well. She wanted to forget that they had to fight tomorrow, forget that tomorrow could be their last day.
She only wanted to feel Harry's lips on hers, Harry's hands on her body. Everything else had become unimportant. Nothing was important anymore; nothing, except the feeling of being in Harry's arms.
