Summary: Secrets are told, a fake funeral is had, and the Party undergoes a dangerous mission. The darkness watching just over their shoulders, waiting... waiting for its chance to strike.

A/N: I gotta go to an ENT y'all, I'm so frustrated

DISCLAIMER:This is a work of fiction. As the author I do not always agree with the actions the characters take. The MC has Haphephobia. The depiction of such in the story may not be entirely accurate and I do not claim it to be so. The depictions of anxiety and OCD are based on my own personal experience and do not apply to the illnesses as a whole. There will be mentions of various sensitive topics which are updated in the tags, read at your own risk.


November 11, 1983

The sham of a funeral was today. The sun shone brightly in the clear blue sky, almost as if it were trying to tell the town that Will Byers was still alive. But most saw it as a mockery to the Byers family, to the tragedy that befell them. To their grief.

Pam had insisted the kids sleep in as long as they could, the poor dears had been through enough, but the smell of frying bacon and waffles would coax even the sleepiest of teenagers from their beds. Mads and Eddie were no different.

She tried to ignore the sinking feeling of her heart when Eddie glanced over the bandages on her exposed skin. At the tightness of his jaw and the redness of his eyes. 001 was right, she was a monster. The worst kind; one that made people love her and then hurt them.

When they entered the spacious farmhouse kitchen, Pam was doing the dishes and Mr. Wilson was frying up the last of the bacon; stacks of fluffy, golden waffles sat on four waiting plates, drenched in butter and syrup.

"Good morning, you two!" Pam sang cheerfully, which belied the dark circles under her eyes.

They mumbled a "good morning" to her, fidgeting awkwardly in the doorway. Mr. Wilson – dressed in a crisp white shirt, charcoal slacks, and matching tie under his tan apron, different from his usual flannel and jeans – set the plates on the table along with the bacon and a bowl of fruit.

Pam dried her hands, and grabbed a can of Reddi-Whip from the fridge before joining her husband at the table. She was also dressed in dark colors – a soft, black boat-necked cotton dress that fit snugly across her still youthful body.

"You two gonna join us, or what?" Mr. Wilson smiled over his cup of black coffee, dark eyes crinkling around the corners.

Mads and Eddie shared a glance and made their way to the table, moving slowly like frightened animals. They knew what was coming, and they had to be prepared for it. The Wilsons may seem trustworthy now, but what would happen when they were told the truth? They might call the police or social services and then Brenner would be on them in a matter of minutes. The house might not be bugged, but the phone lines outside had to be.

How else could Benny Hammond have been murdered?

Thankfully, Pam and Mr. Wilson didn't ask them a single question about last night, allowing Mads to eat in relative silence, piling her waffles with whipped cream and berries. She had never had a breakfast like this, sitting in a sunshine filled room that smelled like a home. There was no sitting down like a family with Kali, just stolen snacks from vending machines or fast-food joints eaten hastily so no one could take her portion. This was different…

Eddie was also quiet, watching her from under his lashes across the table. He, too, seemed uncomfortable with the easy silence. The happy atmosphere. She wanted to kick him in the leg, try and get him to smile, but that just wasn't going to happen.

She'd fucked up.

Mads had hurt Eddie by hurting herself and wounds like that took time to heal. It felt like she should have been a little angry with him, but the anger wouldn't come, only a cold, hollow feeling settled in her chest. She was the one being stalked in her own mind by an obsessive psychokinetic psychopath, not him. So, yeah, she should be angry that he was upset with her. What else could she do but try and scrub 001's very essence from her skin?

A sharp kick to her shin from under the table jerked her from her thoughts and she looked up into Eddie's dark eyes. Then he made a face at her. The prick!

No, the hollow feeling still remained, but she couldn't be angry at him. Not for caring about her. Never for that.

Soon – too soon for Mads and Eddie's liking – the meal was over, and Mr. Wilson observed the two questioningly. Pam refilled their coffees, but sat back down, looking at them with expectation in her eyes. Neither of them could find the words to say.

"Settle down, don't everybody jump in at once," Mr. Wilson joked, eyes twinkling. "Why don't we start with what happened last night?"

"That's the hard part," Mads complained, pushing a stray blueberry around on her plate.

"Okay, then what's the easy part?" Pam asked gently, pulling her legs up into her chair with her.

Mads locked eyes with Eddie again, warning him to run if things got dicey. With his grim nod of assent and a deep breath, she began her story for the third time since entering Hawkins.

"I'm not emancipated from my parents," she explained, boring a hole into the table with her gaze. "I don't even know who my parents are. I was taken from them as a baby and brought to the Hawkins National Laboratory, where a man brought me up to call him Papa and experimented on me. I have… abilities as a result of one or both of my parents undergoing MKUltra testing under Dr. Brenner, the man who had me kidnapped.

"When I was around eleven years old, a former experiment I was led to believe was dead revealed himself to me. Dr. Brenner had blocked his powers with a device called the Soteria and brought him up in the lab, disguising him as an orderly. He pretended to want to help me escape, but all he really wanted was the Soteria removed from his neck."

Mads felt her hands begin to shake. Her breath was coming in short gasps as panic settled itself in the hollow of her chest, gripping the edges of her ribcage and pulling. Reading the Wilsons' minds was off the table, she needed to conserve her energy in case she needed to rewrite their memories. She had to calm down.

The light above the sink began to flicker and soft static hummed from the radio on the countertop. No one had gotten up to mess with either.

Mads took another deep breath and continued. The static began to fade.

"He attacked me wh-when I refused to remove it. He… Uh, I don't know to put this? Um… He's kind of obsessed with me. He thinks I belong to him, and felt like I betrayed him or something when I refused."

"And how old is this man?" Mr. Wilson asked calmly, obviously humoring her. Who in their right mind would believe this?

"Uh… early to mid-thirties now, I think," Mads said, trembling at the image of blue fire that flashed in her mind. "He looked really young though, but he'd been there as long as I could remember, so he has to be in his thirties."

"And what was his name?" Pam prodded, and though Mads couldn't see, interest and recognition sparked in her eyes.

"Peter," Mads whispered. "Papa – Dr. Brenner, sorry – called him Peter. It wasn't his real name though, he told me in secret. He never did tell me what his real name was."

"And this 'Peter' character, he's the one that marked up your neck?" Mr. Wilson questioned.

"That was kinda my fault," Mads admitted, ignoring the screech of Eddie's chair scraping across the floor. "He was uh, choking me… he was choking me and I used my abilities to throw him off. His nails cut me."

"Christ, Mads!" Eddie shouted, pulling her attention away from the table.

He was pacing back and forth by the fridge, running his fingers through his hair. What had she done? Did she say something she wasn't supposed to?

"You know that wasn't your fault! He had his hands around your Goddamn neck!" He cried with fury in his eyes, mashing his fists to his face.

Pam and Mr. Wilson looked at each other in shock, then at Mads who was cowering in her seat. Eddie had been shouldering a lot – too much – for too long. His own problems with his father, his mother passing away far too young and being forced into the care of an uncle who didn't know what to do with an angry little boy.

The need to rescue, to guide, to protect overrode everything. No one should have to go through what he went through. Not alone. But Eddie was broken too. Battered and bruised, covering his hurt with tattoos, and hair, and music that was too loud.

Having someone he cared about harm themselves the way Mads did… Blaming herself for the actions of a psychopathic murderer? It was too much. He needed to run, he needed to curl up in on himself and drown out everything with heavy distortion and guitar. He needed... he needed…

"I need a cigarette," he mumbled, and stormed out of the house.

Mr. Wilson stood to go after him, but Mads' hand shot out, grabbing him by the apron string. He looked at her in bewilderment – she never touched him of her own accord. Mads shook her head solemnly.

"Eddie's dad…" she began in a small voice. "He's in prison now… But he was real mean to Eddie. S'why he lives with Wayne."

Mr. Wilson's gaze stayed on the front door, a hard look in his eye, but sat back down. The bandaged girl's words held enough for him to understand. Going after the boy would only spook him further.

"Alright, Madison," he sighed, taking another sip of his coffee which was steadily growing colder. "Please continue."

"Mads… If you want, you can call me Mads." She picked at a Band-Aid on the back of her hand. "Anyway… I escaped the Lab and found my way to Chicago, where I met up with another girl who escaped not too long before me, her name's Kali. She was older, promised to care for me. But all she wanted was to use me – my abilities are different than hers. And… I always had nightmares about Peter, but when I told Kali I wanted to come back and destroy the Lab they began to get worse.

"I… That day Eddie came to pick me up? He refused to let me drive home because I'd had an 'episode' in the woods and I had to leave my bike at school. I'd somehow gotten Peter's attention and he wanted to hurt me, remind me that we were still connected in some way. Eddie didn't know all this then…"

"And Peter… Is he still in Hawkins?" Pam asked, aching to pull Mads into her arms.

"Not quite…" Mads pulled her knees up to her chest.

She explained her plan to save her 'siblings', and destroy the Lab – or herself trying. How all her attempts to connect to the place always pulled 001's attention to her, how she and El had opened a portal to the Vale. Explaining that was even worse than her own history – which was just as unbelievable. She told them about Will, and how he was still alive, and Barb – who she wasn't sure about. And El, who was staying in the Wheeler's basement.

And then, when she got to the night before, everything gushed from her lips like a dam bursting. 001's obsession, his desire to become a god and his need for her to be by his side. How he used Eddie's likeness to torment her… And his attempt at seduction. She didn't mention his lack of clothing or that he offered to let her keep Eddie as a "plaything". That was something she never wanted to relive.

No, that would be pushed as far down as she could get it, locked in a box, and set on fire. She refused to let that come out of her mouth. Ever.

When Eddie returned, smelling of cigarettes, Mads was just finishing up her story.

"And… he… I don't know… I just wanted to get him off me so I locked myself in the bathroom and made Eddie upset."

"No," Pam admonished gently. "Your actions did influence Eddie's feelings, but you didn't make him upset. You hurt yourself, badly. And that's what made Eddie upset. Blaming yourself for the actions of someone who abused you is what made Eddie upset. Isn't that right?"

Eddie met Mads' gaze and nodded solemnly. He'd heard the last bit, and he understood. He understood feeling so dirty, so worthless that it might feel better just to rip off his own skin rather than sit another second in his misery.

That's why he got his tattoos instead.

To remind himself that his skin, that he, was something worth keeping around. Maybe they could cover up Mads' 009 tattoo with something that would reminder that she was worth keeping around too.

"I'm sorry," Mads whispered again for the millionth time since last night.

"I forgive you," Eddie mumbled and slumped back into his chair.

Instead of calling her story utter bullshit – or just that, a story – the Wilsons sat in silence, mulling over what they had been told. It was incredible. Absolutely incredible in the most literal sense of the word.

"I'm just gonna say this," Mr. Wilson grunted, finishing his coffee. "That is the most outlandish tale I've ever heard."

Mads immediately began to shrink in on herself, and Eddie's eyes flashed dangerously at the older man. But he wasn't finished speaking.

"But I believe you."

"What?" Mads gasped.

"You're joking!" Eddie exclaimed.

"Do you not want me to believe you?" Mr. Wilson seemed close to laughter.

"No, no," Mads interjected. "I just didn't expect that… that you would."

"Of course, we believe you," Pam said in her soothing voice. "It's not like strange things haven't been happening since you came to stay at the motel."

"You've noticed that?" Mads asked sheepishly.

"We had a teenage daughter once," Mr. Wilson replied wryly. "Kids aren't as sneaky as they like to think they are, less so than you most of the time."

Oops. So, the Wilson's had noticed something… That wasn't great; it could mean someone else noticed something too. But, as they said, they had lots of practice as involved parents to recognize sneaky behavior.

They believed her though. They believed her. Mads felt a huge weight lift from her shoulders that she hadn't known was there. It felt good to tell people, even if she did have to be careful about it.

"We're not going to tell anyone either," Pam rushed to say. "Like I said before, your safety is important to us. Nothing about your story changes that."

"At all," Mr. Wilson agreed.

Gratitude washed over Mads, prickling over her skin. Protect her. They wanted to protect her. Kali didn't want to protect her, she wanted Mads to kill for her. Papa didn't want to keep her safe for the sake of it, he wanted to study her, use her. 001 just wanted to control her, plain and simple.

Hawkins was the bad place. Hawkins was full of bad memories and bad people. This Hawkins was nothing like she remembered. It was filled with kind people who wanted her safe and cared for. Mads was constantly shocked by the kindness of others in the very place that held her captive for so long; that made her formative years hell.

But ever since she returned… It had been the backdrop for the best moments of her life.

Mr. Wilson – who insisted she call him "Jamie" – and Pam clearly wanted to hug Mads, but gave her space, sending her upstairs to change for the funeral later in the morning. When she disappeared up the stairs, Jamie pulled Eddie aside, concern lining his craggy face.

"Son," he began, looking him straight in the eye. "Both of you are safe here. No matter the circumstances."

Eddie never trusted adults, except Wayne. His uncle was predictable, reliable. Eddie knew how to maneuver around him. Maybe Wayne did that on purpose so Eddie would feel comfortable, but that didn't matter. Adults almost always wanted to put you in boxes and punish you when you didn't fit the mold they created.

He and Mads broke the mold.

They broke it into tiny little pieces that showed the artifice of normal ideals.

Yes, he was the one who insisted Mads tell the Wilsons the truth, but that didn't mean he trusted them completely yet. They said they believed her. They said they were safe. Adults say a bunch of shit then rip the rug out from underneath your feet, and blame you for falling.

So, forgive him if he was a little skeptical.

"Yeah, well…" Eddie said, meeting the older man's gaze head on. "You're gonna have to prove that to both of us. Mads won't hesitate to wipe your memories if she even suspects we're in danger."

Jamie blinked, then smiled. "I'd expect nothing less."

Taken slightly aback by Jamie's reaction, Eddie merely nodded. He still didn't trust them. And he wouldn't until they showed him Mads was safe. Telling them was unavoidable, but they could make them forget. The Wilsons talked a big talk, but they needed to be able to back it up.

"Why don't you go home and find something black to wear for the funeral?" Jamie suggested, breaking their silent stand-off. Humor shone in his dark eyes.

"That shouldn't be too difficult." Eddie felt a mischievous grin tug at the corners of his mouth. "I'll be back to pick Mads up."

Jamie nodded with a noise of assent, opening the front door for Eddie to leave. As soon as he stepped through and the sun hit his face, breaking through the cool November air, a sinking feeling settled in his chest. The sham funeral, he felt, was just the beginning of something big. Something bad.

The instinct to run, to hide, like he always did nearly overtook him. But he knew if he did that, Mads and Tris would track him down and beat the shit out of him. Facing down a Vale monster with a hunting rifle and nothing else was preferable to that fate. He thought of the murderous look on Mads' face when she tried to crush Tommy Hagan's jaw in her hand… Yeah, the Vale monster was definitely a preferable fate.


It wasn't much later that Mads was seated in the front seat of Eddie's van, following the Wilson's from their farmhouse to the church. The bandages that covered her minor scrapes had been removed – many of which were on her face – showing reddened, scabbed over skin. Much of the other cuts she'd inflicted on herself had to stay bandaged, but those were easier to conceal under her flowy black dress.

The official story was a motorcycle accident. The Kawasaki had stalled and thrown her from her seat. Thankfully she had been going under the speed limit and wearing her helmet. Jake was going to look over the machine and fix the problem. Officially.

Unofficially, Mads was being threatened by an interdimensional, murderous psychopath that wanted her in a pretty little cage. But no one in their right mind would believe that. She was lucky to have friends who weren't in their right minds.

When they reached the church, Tris met them outside. One look at Mads scrapes and she knew. Mads had tried to convince them that she was safe, that 001 wouldn't hurt her. She'd forgotten to mention that he could hurt her by making her hurt herself. Instead of pulling her into a hug, Tris smiled wanly and walked with them into the church.

It was a closed casket "viewing". Joyce was despondent, uttering monosyllables and staring into space. Even Mads couldn't get a word out of her, couldn't get the older woman to hold her gaze. She couldn't even tell Joyce that her son was alive…

Lonnie, Joyce's ex-husband, seemed to lap up the attention and sympathy, telling anyone who would listen that the Sattler family should be held accountable for his son's demise. That it was a "damn shame" no one in the community stepped up to help Joyce out with the preparations, even though the Wilson's had matched what Joyce was able to pay and hired a caterer for after the wake – all because Joyce was important to Mads.

Mads, Eddie, and Tris didn't bother to offer their condolences to him. They knew what he was after. They knew, without even speaking to him personally, what kind of man he was. They knew he didn't lift a finger to help the mother of his children even before he left her.

Mads forced herself to hug Jonathan, much to everyone's surprise, squeezing him as though she were trying to break his bones. When he finally extracted himself from her embrace, the blazing fire in her eyes and scratches on her face shocked him.

"We'll end this," she promised solemnly – cryptically – and stormed out of the church, the hem of her black dress flowing behind her.

Little did he know that she knew of the monster, that she was going to destroy it, and any connection it had opened to this world. Mads was going to ban anything from that plane of existence entering into this one, on the penalty of an agonizing death.

When the procession moved from the church to the gravesite, Eddie had to keep pinching Tris in the side because she kept scoffing at Pastor Charles' message on "God's love" and "faith in the midst of tragedy". To be fair to her though, he and Mads weren't buying it either.

But Mads kept flinching at the cool, ghostly fingers of the wind brushing against the exposed skin her scarf didn't cover on her neck. An outdoor service in November? The Byer's certainly had one for dramatic effect.

It was hard not to notice that Will's three best friends weren't crying. "Boys don't cry" was the motto of the day, sure. But during the funeral of one of your closest friends? That had to be allowed. Grief did show itself in strange ways.

Mads understood, though; they weren't crying, or even the least bit upset. Because somehow, someway, El had connected them to the Vale and they heard Will. She longed to grab them, shake them for their stupidity, but mostly hold them close.

Children often carried the weight of worlds on their shoulders. These three were no different. They were going to rescue their friend with nothing but childlike naivety and optimism. And as Tris would kindly put it: a superpowered freak. Two if they counted Mads, which Lucas' opinion was probably still out on that one.

Finally, when the flowers and dirt were thrown upon the casket containing the fake Will, the procession moved into the Church dining hall, where Tris, Eddie, and Mads ate very little despite being growing teenagers. Not that it wasn't good food… They just couldn't stomach the dead look in Joyce's eyes or the false sympathies from the multitudes that showed up.

Pam and Jamie sat with Joyce. They were trying to get her to eat something. Anything. They didn't know her well, but knew it would make Mads feel better if they did. Her heart swelled painfully at their compassion, not only for her, but for Joyce.

During her scan of the room, she noticed the boys cornering a mustachioed man. They spoke with him familiarly, animatedly. She craned her neck to see when he joined the boys at their table.

"Science teacher," Tris commented quietly, pushing food around on her flimsy paper plate. "And head of the AV club. Total dork, but his girlfriend is hot, at least that's what my sister said. Robin's in Nancy Wheeler's year, so they just left HM together. She liked him well enough."

Eddie and Mads exchanged amused glances, but pretended to ignore Tris' "girlfriend" comment. She probably didn't even realize she said it. Tris didn't have to tell them Robin's preferences. The way she practically drooled over that prissy girl, Tammy Thompson, in the hallways told them all they needed to know.

"Wonder what they're asking?" Eddie mumbled, grinning from ear to ear.

"Already on it," Mads said, standing from her seat and moving across the space to the boys' table.

Lucas jumped when he noticed her standing behind them, but Dustin and Mike both greeted her enthusiastically, then Eddie and Tris who shadowed her. It was like Mike's anger from the other night had completely dissipated. Like it never existed.

"We're asking Mr. Clarke about interdimensional travel and alternate universes!" Dustin explained, waving them into the empty chairs around the table.

The three teens sat obediently, mumbling "hellos" to the smiling science teacher.

"Isn't that dangerous?" Mads asked, eyeing the boys pointedly. They refused to meet her gaze. "Hypothetically, I mean."

"Well, yes," Mr. Clarke agreed, nodding. "But this is merely a theoretical discussion. We shouldn't ever lock a curiosity door."

"Some doors should stay locked," Tris mumbled under her breath, but Mr. Clarke didn't hear her.

"So," Mr. Clarke continued with long-suffering patience. "If you weren't talking about the 'Many-Worlds' theory, then what did you mean?"

"We were thinking more of an evil dimension, like the 'Vale of Shadows'," Dustin explained. "You know the 'Vale of Shadows'?"

Mads fingers dug into her bandaged thighs and Tris sucked in a sharp breath. Eddie went preternaturally still. They all turned to look at each other in unison. What had El told them? What had she said to make them think they could brave the Vale on their own?

"An echo of the Material Plane where necrotic and shadow magic—" Mr. Clarke started.

"Yeah, exactly," Mike interrupted. "If that did exist, a place like the 'Vale of Shadows', how would we travel there?"

"Theoretically," Lucas interjected.

Oh. My. God. These boys were really trying to reach the Vale. How stupid, how naïve, could they be?

"You would need to open a Gate," Eddie explained in D&D terms, having memorized the entry in his DM manual. "And opening it would require a wizard of extreme power. Most wizards, even wizards of immense power, would lack the knowledge in the first place, and so would be unable to reach the Gate. Then opening it would unleash all of the undead, necrotic, and dark creatures waiting to prey upon the Mortal Plane, likely killing the weakened wizard and their companions."

The whole table stared at him in silence. Awe from the boys and Mr. Clarke… Horror from Mads and Tris, who knew that the manual's description was so close to the actual truth.

"What?" He asked, tugging at a curl with a ringed finger.

"Are you a Dungeon Master?" Mr. Clarke asked.

"Eddie founded the high school's Hellfire Club," Tris explained, a hint of pride in her voice.

Mr. Clarke nodded, impressed, and grabbed an empty paper plate, then pulled a pen from his jacket pocket. He began drawing on the plate then turned it to show the table.

"To answer your question in a more scientific way, boys, picture an acrobat standing on a tightrope," he said, gesturing to the drawing. "Now, the tightrope is our dimension…"

It was a very simple explanation about a dimension hopping flea, but Mads got lost somewhere along the way. Lost in her own thoughts, in a long-ago memory. Cold chills like fingers ran up and down her spine.

Blue tinged fluorescent lights shone down on her from the hospital bed she lay in. The nurses station? Cool air filtered through the thin sheet that covered her tiny body. An IV drip, drip, dripped next to her, flowing into the needle that pierced her vein. It itched.

009 made to scratch it, to pull it out, when a large hand reached across the bed to stop her. Touching was fine then. It was safe even. Welcome. She did not flinch at the warmth of the hand covering her own. Instead, she flipped her palm and gripped the hand tightly.

"Peter…" She mumbled sleepily. "Why am I here?"

He sighed, but smiled affectionately at her, squeezing her small hand in his. "Do you not remember what happened?"

009 shook her head slowly. All she remembered was sitting with Papa, he was working with her today, but then she wasn't and people were screaming. It was dark and scary. She didn't like the dark. It was before she learned to.

"You and Papa were working together, he was trying to get you to focus on a place, remember?" Peter prodded, the soft smile she loved so much playing on his lips.

"A little…" she croaked.

"It was a dark room; the basement."

"Yes."

"You were supposed to find something in there, remember?"

"Yes."

She remembered now. There was an object in the basement Papa wanted her to find. He wanted her to show it to him in his mind, to see if she could project thoughts in addition to manipulating them. He was beginning to notice that some children could learn different abilities, whereas some could only strengthen the ones they had, and wanted to see if she fell into the former category.

But as she was searching… 009 wandered a little too far, showing Papa a dark, dark place. She walked on black, cold water that sent tiny sparks of pain through her bare feet. It was endless, empty. And when she couldn't find her way back, she began to cry, hot bubbling tears spilling down her soft cheeks and into the black, black water.

Her tears had turned into screams, her screams into hysterics, and that into the dark emptiness that was her mind. Then she awoke here, with Peter – her favorite person, not even second to Papa – next to her, guarding her, keeping her safe. No one else was in the room with them, so he could speak to her freely, even if there were cameras.

009 didn't know what the cameras were for, just that they told Papa who was doing and saying what and when they said and did it – if they said it loud enough. That was what got Peter in trouble last time they were alone. He had tried helping her read minds, gave her exercises. Was "too friendly" as Papa put it. Peter wasn't supposed to hug her or hold her hand, even if she initiated it. He limped for days after he got in trouble and Papa ignored her when she cried.

But if he spoke quietly enough, they could get away with it. And if she broke the camera… Then Peter could hold her hand. The warm trickle of blood down her upper lip was the only indication she did anything. Peter's eyes twinkled mischievously as he wiped the blood away with a pristine white handkerchief.

"Now, now," he said, not trying to keep quiet anymore. "What will Papa say when he finds his camera not working? He has them up to keep you safe; all of you."

"I'm not his favorite." She shrugged her shoulders wearily.

She felt so weak. So tired.

"Not yet," Peter said gently.

"I'm your favorite," she insisted, because that was more important than being Papa's favorite.

Peter was special, she could tell. And she was special to him. That was the most important thing. More important than Papa's work, his cameras, or the others. More important than candies and pretty band-aids from the nice nurse. Being strong, powerful for Peter… she wanted that more than anything.

"You did well today," he said, squeezing her hand. "I never expected you would be able to travel yet. You gave me a wonderful surprise."

"I didn't find anything… and it was dark and scary," she whispered.

The happy look that crossed his face would have chilled her to the bone now, but then, it only warmed her in that cold nurses' station. Peter loved her, he was proud of her. All he wanted was for her to be strong.

"You have nothing to fear in the dark… The dark should fear you," he murmured, though no one was there to hear him besides her.

Then he stood, withdrawing his hand, to change her IV bag. She was growing increasingly tired; just talking wore her out. And breaking Papa's camera. She hoped he would think it broke on its own. Maybe she could make one of the other orderlies look at it and say so.

"Why… are you here?" She asked groggily.

Papa hadn't wanted them alone together often. She knew that, which is why Peter got in trouble last time. She disabled the camera, but Papa could still know… He could have seen before she broke it. Why would Peter risk getting in trouble again?

"Because Papa needed someone to watch over you," he answered, settling himself in the chair next to her again. "Everyone else… they're all scared of you. And they should be."

"Not you?"

"Never me."

He smiled again with a – what she now realized was hungry – light in his blue eyes. He brought his hand up to her cheek, caressing it with his thumb and she leaned into his touch.

"Never me," he repeated in a whisper before she fell into unconsciousness once again.

That day she had been the first to travel… She couldn't remember how old she was. Most of the subjects had been brought to the lab as infants or toddlers. Kali was the only exception, able to remember her life outside. It helped her to escape.

But for Mads and the others… Mads was only a baby when Papa brought her there, and knew nothing other than the Lab until she left. There had been others with the number 006 and 008 before Kali came. But she knew they hadn't escaped. And them disappearing was no accident like 001's was supposed to be.

When she traveled, Papa took more notice of her. Then Papa had the Bath built. She hated the Bath. She couldn't even swim.

There was a reason she could only take showers.

The feeling of the water covering her body, the pressure, the floating sensation. It was all worse than being touched. Peter had been so proud of her, which is why she did it, but the mere thought of being immersed in water was nauseating.

"Mads?" Eddie said, prodding her in the side, his fingers pressing into a bandage beneath her dress.

Her breath hissed through her teeth, but she forced herself to stay still. The whole table was staring at her, including the science teacher, Mr. Clarke.

"Yeah?" She snapped, scrubbing at her eyes with the back of her bandaged hand.

"You good?" Tris asked, pulling at the straps of her suspenders underneath her suit jacket.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm okay."

It was a funeral. No one would ask questions about her crying. At least not until later when she could answer them.

"As I was saying," Mr. Clarke continued, eyeing Mads with concern and sympathy. "It would take a massive amount of energy to open a gate like this, much more than humans are capable of creating right now. You would need a… very powerful wizard like Eddie suggested."

All eyes fell on her, once again. Dumbasses.

"Wouldn't it disrupt gravity?" Mads asked, ignoring their looks.

"Yes, and magnetic fields, the environment… That's why I said it couldn't already exist. We would notice all those things." Mr. Clarke explained with a patient smile. "Heck, it could even swallow us whole. Science is neat, but I'm afraid it's not very forgiving."

Now none of the boys would meet her gaze, their eyes either on their toes or the table in front of them. Interdimensional travel was dangerous even in her astral form. She could barely imagine what it would do to three boys entering physically.

A bloodbath is what it would be.

The thought made her sick.


She sat in Mandy's room, on Mandy's bed, in Mandy's clothes staring up at the ceiling Mandy probably stared up at hundreds of times. Jesus H. Crucified Christ. This was a dead girl's room, this was a dead girl's bed, these were a dead girl's clothes. It was almost like Mads was a fake, a replacement, like the false Will Byer's they put in the ground earlier.

That funeral… that bullshit funeral. Will was alive. She could feel it like the beat of her own goddamned heart. The people of Hawkins who stared at Joyce with pitying, but wary, gazes and showered her with false ringing condolences.

But where was the same concern for Barb? Or anyone who was affected by the fucking Lab? Where was the concern for all the missing kids like her?

Pam still wasn't back from the motel, where she'd commandeered Eddie's van, as well as her own station wagon to move all of Mads' things back to Jamie and Pam's home. She was staying with them, no arguments. And Mads was too tired to argue.

She wanted to go see El, try to convince those boys not to do anything stupid. There was no doubt in her mind that they would, without someone there to stop them. Mads could only hope that El was sensible enough to talk them out of it.

Especially since she didn't have her bike. Or a change of clothes. She was not about to go running around in the woods in this dress. It was much too pretty. That, and it would be disrespectful to Pam, who gave it to her in the first place. Besides, the kids couldn't get into too much trouble on their own… Right?

The crunch of tires on gravel sounded outside, and Mads jumped up to see that Pam and Eddie had returned with Jake in tow. Her bike was in the bed of his pickup truck. However, they weren't the only ones pulling into the driveway. Hop's cruiser speed in behind them, flinging gravel around the well-kept lawn.

A sinking feeling settled in the pit of her stomach as she watched him jump from his cruiser and approach Pam and Eddie. She could see her friend's nervousness from where she stood. Eddie turned and met her gaze through the window before heading up the porch steps and inside.

The sound of her boots thundering across the bedroom floorboards echoed through the house. Eddie met her with a box of her things at the entrance to Mandy's room. He was quick…

Mads took the box from him and set it down, grabbing his pinky with her own before dragging him towards the sound of Hop's raised voice. Eddie followed, wordlessly, his face set in a mask of concern.

"D'you even know where she came from?" Hop asked incredulously as Mads stepped through the doorway into the parlor.

"I imagine you can hazard a guess," Mads snarked.

He whirled to face her, shock coloring his expression. Like he hadn't expected her to appear there. She wiggled her fingers at him.

"Checked the place for bugs yet?" Eddie joked.

"This is no laughing matter kid," Hop warned, taking a threatening step toward them.

"Now, now," Jamie commanded, causing Hop pause. "Let's all just settle down here."

"Settle down?" Hop asked incredulously. "Settle down? They bugged my trailer, Jamie!"

Jamie caught Mads' eye, but she already knew the answer to his question. No, their home hadn't been bugged. She would be able to tell. In fact, she'd already swept the place when she got back because of all the talk about the "staties" finding Barb's car at the bus stop. Jamie had a police radio, compliments of his police chief friend.

She shook her head and Jamie nodded.

"And they haven't bugged ours," he said calmly, placating Hop. "We've checked. They don't even know she's in Hawkins. At least, not who she really is."

Hop took another long look at Mads and Eddie before collapsing in a heap all over Pam's pretty velvet couch. She merely shook her head and left to start a pot of coffee as though this were a regular occurrence. Judging from how quickly Hop started to calm down, it probably was.

That's when Mads noticed another person in the room with them. Liquid brown eyes, puffy and rimmed with red, met hers from across the room. Self-cut brown hair and an ancient leather coat. Joyce.

"What's going on?" Mads demanded, dragging Eddie further into the room with her. "Why are you here with Joyce? Who bugged your trailer?"

"One question at a time please, kid," Hop groused.

"It's Madison," She reminded him.

"We're here to make sure you and the Wilsons are safe," Joyce interrupted him with a glare.

Safe? Her? Of course she was safe. At least from Dr. Brenner. She'd kill him before he came within ten feet of her, or anyone here.

"Do you remember anything about the night I came to tell you about Mandy?" Hop asked, ignoring Mads' questions.

"Other than it being the worst night of my life?" Jamie asked sarcastically, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm serious, Jamie."

"So am I."

Hop sighed, running a hand over his haggard face. Joyce stood – silently – beside him, looking over at Mads, a great worry radiating off her. Mads wondered just how much Hop knew – Joyce knew – and was about to delve into his mind to find what she needed to know when he spoke again.

"The Staties got to the scene first, remember?" Hop asked, the contrition in his voice belying his gruff expression.

"Yeah," Jamie said, frowning. "They were still there when you took me back to the road where Cornwallis and Kerley meet. They were all acting really shifty, wouldn't give me a straight answer as to what happened."

"Did anyone come to the house in the weeks following? Months even?"

"Not that I can recall."

Pam had returned from the kitchen, arms laden with a tray of coffee, when Hop asked his final question. She sat the tray down and placed her hands on her hips, eyeing the police chief fiercely.

"You don't remember me calling you about a weird encounter I had with a so-called 'grief counselor'?" She asked.

"I do," Hop replied.

"The fuck is going on here?" Mads demanded, grasping Eddie's hand so hard he flinched. "Are you saying Mandy's death was the Lab's fault?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying, Madison," Hop said gravely. "Whatever happened that night wasn't just a car crash, and they wanted to make sure no one knew that."

"You mean…" Mads breathed, knees beginning to buckle. "What year did she die?"

"'79," Jamie's voice cracked. "Our girl passed in '79."

"No…!"

When her knees did give out, Eddie was there to catch her, wrapping an arm around her middle. His long hair tickled her cheeks. Once again, she was grateful she'd asked him to stay with her that night in October. Without him, she wasn't sure how long she would have survived… survived herself.

1979… That was the year after she left. That had to be the year 001 went on his murderous rampage. The experiments in his illusion barely looked different from when she left. That could have been a trick on his part, but El had confirmed that she was the only one left. She didn't even remember the others well.

Oh God, Mandy must have died because of the incident at the Lab. Whatever 001 had done… it had affected the outside world too. And it killed Mandy Wilson.

Bile rose in the back of Mads' throat, bitter and searing. The thought of him owning this girl she'd never known because he inadvertently killed her made Mads feel ill. He owned those he killed and those he marked just the same. 001 liked collecting his victims; they made him powerful.

"What's wrong, honey?" Joyce was now kneeling before her, reaching towards her hands.

"She's fine," Eddie said, tightening his arm around Mads when she flinched away from the older woman.

"Down boy," Jamie joked, though his expression was still tight. "No one here is going to hurt her."

"I don't know that, and neither does she," Eddie snapped, pulling Mads close to his side.

"Will someone please explain to me what's going on here?" Joyce demanded, looking over her shoulder at Hop, Pam, and Jamie.

"I'd… I'd kinda like to know too," Jake said, speaking for the first time since Mads entered the room.

Everyone turned to face him in shock. Jake rarely spoke and blended into the background, so when he did, it usually surprised everyone. The lights began to flicker, but no one noticed. No one except Joyce.

"Is… is that you?" She turned to Mads who clung to Eddie with shaking hands. "Are you doing that?"

Biting her ruined lip, Mads nodded once and static erupted from every television and radio in the house. The sound was deafening, debilitating and filled their ears and minds like a hoard of ants in their mounds.

Eddie's rings and fingers dug into the bandages on Mads hips and waist, the pain grounding her. Once she could breathe, once her mind quieted, she let go and everything stopped. Every eye in the room was now on her.

Jake was the first to break the silence.

"Well, that explains a lot," he said, shoving his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans and headed outside to, supposedly, unload more of Mads' things.

The rest of the adults stared at Mads and Eddie, shaken . The teenagers almost wished they would scream, chase them away, anything but that awful staring. Instead, Pam turned to Hop with fire in her eyes.

"Do you see now, why we had to protect her?" She snapped, gesturing to Mads. "We've already lost one girl to that place; I'm not losing another."

A dry sob escaped Mads' lips, her fingers digging into Eddie's jacket. Had the Wilsons always suspected something was amiss with their daughter's death? Had Pam always believed that it had something to do with the Lab? Was that why they so readily believed her? Was her sudden appearance in their lives some kind of penance from the universe for allowing their child to be taken from them?

Mads didn't know the answers to any of those questions, but her heart ached. It ached with love and fury and everything in between. This wasn't fair. None of this was fair. She and Mandy didn't deserve what happened to them, nor did the Wilsons. Or Joyce and Will… or Barb.


Huddled on the floor of Mandy's bedroom, Mads and Eddie sat in a pile of clothes and boxes, listening to the adults downstairs. Hop refused to speak with Mads present, and she was shaking so hard Pam had Eddie take her to her room. When they crossed the threshold she rushed to turn Mandy's untouched radio down as low as it could go and focused all her energy into projecting the conversation through it.

They were discussing her, Jamie and Pam telling Hop as little as possible, but still telling some of the truth. For that, she was grateful. Hop explained that in his search for Will he had tracked down another child, one with a shaved head around Will's age. Eddie's hands clenched, white-knuckled, when they heard that.

Then Joyce mentioned a woman, Terry Ives. Mads knew that name. She was there when Papa had people floating around in pools, high out of their minds on all sorts of drugs. Many children were there for that. But Mads especially remembered when Terry came to the rainbow room with a gun. She was fixated on El.

Terry Ives had been pregnant. She "lost" her baby. Then she went mad looking for her, filing lawsuit after lawsuit to try and bring some sort of resolution. Her claims ultimately came to nothing. Hop's voice crackled over the radio explaining the articles they found during his investigation.

This Terry Ives woman… She was El's mother. She had to be. And Hop wanted to take Joyce to see her, wanted Jamie and Pam to come with to see if they could glean any information about Dr. Brenner from this person, information Mads wouldn't know. Papa had been… Papa to them at the Lab. Nothing more. Nothing less.

During her searches with Kali, she'd all but refused to look into anything to do with Dr. Brenner. Kali had called her a coward, and maybe she was right, but Mads thought of it as being smart. She had probed around in his mind far too many times and he was familiar with the sensation. It was very possible he would notice she was looking for him the moment she tried. And then he would know she was still alive and nothing would stop him from hunting her down until he found her.

A sharp, clear knock echoed on the door and Eddie leapt for the radio, shoving the first cassette he could grab into it, and turned the volume up to a listenable frequency. A grimace crossed his face when he realized what he'd chosen, The Beatles Sgt. Pepper's.

"I like a variety," Mads grinned unapologetically and stood to answer the door.

Outside was Pam, dressed in jeans and a thick, fleece-lined coat. Her pretty face was lined with worry, though she tried to hide it behind a smile. But Mads had learned to read people very well, the concern was obvious to her.

"We're going to go out with Hopper and Joyce," Pam explained, looking over her shoulder at Eddie who was pretending to look busy unpacking Mads clothes and rock collection. "There's someone he wants to interview. I would like it if you two stayed home for the time being."

"Sure thing," Mads said brightly. Too brightly. "You do what you have to do."

Pam eyed her suspiciously, but held her arms open, allowing Mads to choose to hug her or not. She only hesitated a heartbeat before wrapping her arms around the older woman, savoring the warmth she radiated. Mads hadn't realized the chill had permeated to her bones.

"Home," Pam reminded when she pulled away, eyeing them pointedly.

"Right," Mads agreed with absolutely no intention of staying in one place for too long.

Once the door was closed and Pam's footsteps echoed down the wooden staircase, Mads began tearing into the boxes of her belongings, grabbing the first thing she could. Thankfully, what she'd selected was jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt and not a frilly dress.

"Turn around," she demanded, untying her dress and pulling it over her head.

He did so without a moment's hesitation – sputtering, cheeks, ears, and neck bright red. "Jesus, Mads!"

Once Mads was dressed, she pulled her boots back on, then her biking jacket. The front door closed downstairs and the crunch of gravel signaled that it was time for them to go.

When they stepped out into the cool air, Mads scanned the vicinity for any signs of the Wilsons or Hop. Once she signaled the cost was clear, they rushed to the van and took off towards Tris' place on Cherry St., Black Sabbath blaring from the speakers.

She was home, but so were her parents. So, Mads snuck around the back and threw pebbles at Tris' bedroom window until she noticed and climbed out, sneaking down the block to where Eddie had parked his van.

"Yo," she said breathlessly once they climbed in. "What's the plan?"

"We need to find El," Mads said. Hopefully she'd kept the boys far away from the Gate.

"You think they actually went out looking for it?" Eddie asked.

"They did." Mads buckled herself in, ready to direct him as she tied her scarf around her eyes.

She could feel it in El's thoughts. She was calling out to her, pleading for her. They were as clear as any of the feelings 001 had projected. She tried to get a sense of a location… train tracks… Those were between Lover's Lake and Sattler's Quarry. But they covered a lot of ground.

If they were headed toward the Lab, the tracks would pass right next to it, maybe a few miles off. They were headed in the right direction, but El was taking them the long way. Shit, fucking fuck! They had passed right by them on their way to Tris' house!

It was okay. It was okay. The boys didn't know that the Gate was in the Lab. They didn't know, even if they were science dorks and probably had compasses. El would lead them astray. She had to. Mads begged her to, hoping her urgency reached down their connection.

Finally, the kids turned off the tracks to somewhere she recognized. The old junkyard out by the quarry. Tris had taken them stargazing there earlier in the month to stargaze and smoke pot. That felt like a lifetime ago now.

Within minutes they were pulling up a side road, thick with foliage and undergrowth. It would be plenty safe to leave the van and hurry on foot. It looked barely used and no one would think twice about it being there. Probably just some teenagers looking for "private time". Which wasn't completely wrong.

Through the underbrush they ran, Eddie clutching his rifle with bone-white fingers, until they reached the clearing. The sounds of raised voices carried over the open space, shouting, the sounds of a fight…

A scream.

Mads happened upon them just as Lucas flew through the air, her hands flying out to catch the boy before he could slam into a wall of junk. He hung there, suspended in mid-air while Mike and Dustin stared up at him, openmouthed.

"Shit!" Eddie exclaimed, hurrying up behind her.

"Mads, put him down!" Tris gasped.

"Fuck, right!" She lowered Lucas to the ground as gently as she could, his eyes wide and limbs shaking.

Dustin and Mike rushed him as soon as he landed, checking him for injury. El stood off to the side, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. The ruby trickle of blood ran down her upper lip.

"Why would you do that?" Mike turned to her, shouting.

It seemed that every time they happened upon this party, Mike was always yelling at El. Mads wondered why she would want to stay with him.

"What is wrong with you?" Mike shouted as Dustin continued barraging the dazed and frightened Lucas with questions. "What is wrong with you?"

"Uh, probably that she's had little to no proper human interaction?" Tris called, a sneer upon her lips.

El… The swirl of emotions that radiated from her mind hit Mads like a truck. Guilt, fear, anger, frustration, the desire for love and acceptance. The crushing force of self-loathing. Mads staggered back into Eddie, physically affected by the weight of El's feelings.

"El," she croaked, reaching a hand out to her.

But she fled.

Fuck!

"No, no, no!" Mads yelled after her, struggling to get her legs to work. "No! Don't run!"

Mike, realizing El was gone, stood to his feet and called after her. But she had disappeared into the brush before he even realized she had fled. Tris ran in the direction El headed, nearly shoulder-checking Mike. Mads almost did too, but held herself back since he was only a twelve-year-old. What she didn't see, however, was Eddie. He glared at Mike so forcefully that the boy fell on his ass in the dirt. She would have been proud.

They ran and ran after El, but it was getting dark and she was small. The tendrils of her thoughts were fading, as though she were trying to close her connection to Mads' mind – and was succeeding.

She was headed south, towards the Byers' house. But she wouldn't answer their calls. Not a sound to their pleading. It was as though she disappeared. Mads searched and searched, but when she reached out… it was like El's very existence was wiped from the face of the earth.

Had she become so used to hiding, to curling in on herself alone in the Lab, that she was hiding her whole existence without knowing it? Mads was the only one she knew of who could do that… and only for a short time. It was difficult and expended a lot of energy. They would find her soon enough.

But as the light began to fade and their voices grew hoarse, Mads was beginning to think they would never find El. At least until they heard footsteps creeping through the brush at them.

They each readied their weapons; Tris' knives, Eddie's rifle, and Mads' mind. Then, Jonathan Byers burst through the copse of trees, coming face to face with the barrel of Eddie's gun.

"Holy shit!" He screamed, stumbling backwards.

"Holy shit yourself, man," Eddie said calmly, lowering the firearm. "What are you doing out here anyway, it's dangerous."

"I could ask the same of you," Jonathan retorted breathlessly, accepting the outstretched hand Tris offered him.

"Monster hunting," Mads said, crossing her arms over her chest. There was no way she'd tell Byers about El.

Jonathan was silent, fixing her with a confused stare when a disembodied voice cut through the night time quiet.

"Was that…?" Tris began.

"Nancy!" Jonathan shouted, looking around for the source of her voice. "Nancy, where are you?"

"What happened?" Mads snapped, jerking Jonathan around by the collar of his jacket.

"I don't know! I thought she was right behind me!" Jonathan swore, looking every which way for the source of Nancy's voice.

"Fuck," Mads muttered under her breath, releasing him.

She stormed through the direction he came, Nancy's panicked cries growing louder with each step, until she happened upon a discarded backpack and baseball bat at the foot of a large tree. Mads gasped, ice-cold terror running through her when she saw the gaping portal gouged into the trunk. Nancy's voice filtered through the opening, screaming, calling for Jonathan or anyone who would help her.

God fucking dammit! Couldn't anyone stay out of trouble for one god forsaken minute in this hellhole of a town?

Footsteps and horrified gasps resounded behind her, but Mads ignored them. Steeling her spine, she strode towards the portal, kicking open the sticky membrane and crouched down. A deep breath, a swallow around the fear gathering in her throat… And she tumbled through, like Alice – down, down, down the rabbit hole.


A/N: I'm sorry the upload is kinda late, I've been working on edits in my book and my ears are really bothering me. This one's longer than normal to make up for it (and because I couldn't find a good place to split it lmao)

Please leave me a review or I'll think you hate it :'D

Chapter title is taken from "Wild Heart" by Stevie Nicks on the studio album "The Wild Heart" released in June 1983.

Thanks for the follows, favorites, and reviews! I appreciate each one! (Please don't forget to leave a review if you liked the story so far!)

Also, here is the mini mixtape for the final chapters, since we're about to wrap things up soon!:

playlist/2w0Fg6UPmVvj5L3EIMRYfw?si=fd523c888f364bc5

This is the "mixtape" I created for this fic. It's not entirely period accurate, but I feel like these songs fit the theme of the show and characters.

playlist/2w0Fg6UPmVvj5L3EIMRYfw?si=d8e38810c96f4875