Late May

Thomas Barrow's Pantry

Thomas and Minnie met at their usual time in the pantry and pulled two chairs together. Thomas held the contract that was the culmination of their gruelling late-night negotiations. Early on, they had agreed to meet only Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays to preserve their sanity and their friendship.

Thomas had copied the pages neatly from his notebook and now placed the final document in front of them. The couple took turns reading aloud the terms and conditions. "Are we agreed?" Thomas asked when they finished reading.

"Yes, we're agreed." Minnie signed the last page, and then Thomas signed. They had expected this to be a joyful moment, but Ivor's final task loomed over them.

When the ink was dry, Thomas locked the contract in his desk drawer. Then he sat behind the desk and patted his lap. Minnie was aware that there were two reasons why Thomas might want her on his lap. If he placed her so they were chest-to-chest, then he was in the mood to cuddle. If he placed her so they were back-to-chest, then he was avoiding eye contact. Tonight, he placed her back-to-chest. Now what? she thought to herself.

"Missus, you know what comes next."

"Yes, I know."

"I've been doing some reading, and it's important that we choose the right date."

"What do you mean?"

"According to Stopes ..."

"Thomas, you've been reading Stopes?"

"I don't care for her belief in eugenics, but, Missus, you can't deny that she's an expert when it comes to ... marital relations."

"And Stopes gives advice about selecting a date?"

"She says that a woman's desire differs from a man's in that it comes in waves that crest every fortnight."

Minnie couldn't help but smile. She was a virgin, but Thomas was naïve ... adorably naïve. "Waves?"

"That's right."

"Thomas, are you saying that married men and woman should make love only twice a month?"

"Not exactly. Each crest can last a few days."

"But I've never noticed these waves."

Thomas held Minnie close and spoke gently. "Of course not, Minnie. You're not experienced, so you're not aware."

"Then how am I to know when these crests occur?"

Thomas pressed his hand to one side of Minnie's face and his cheek to the other so she could not turn her head to face him. "One comes two or three days before ... your ... moon month ... and the other eight or nine days after the end ... so they're a fortnight apart. You'll have to pick the proper date, Missus, and tell me."

It took a moment for Minnie to realize what Thomas meant by moon month. She had not expected to discuss something with her fiancé that she avoided discussing even with her own sisters. She glanced at Thomas' calendar. "Right. Then I pick Sunday, May 29th."

"I'll ask Andy and Mrs Hughes to work late that night, and I'll make arrangements for a room."

"And after we're successful, we'll get married."

"Not quite, Missus. Afterwards, I'll ask your father for your hand."

"Thomas, I'm over 30!"

"It's about respect, Missus. I want your father to like me. He's going to be my father-in-law."

"All right. You'll ask my father, and then we'll get married."

"I'll ask your father, and then I'll get down on one knee and propose."

"That's silly, Thomas. We've already agreed."

"I know, Missus." Thomas wrapped one of Minnie's dark curls around his finger. "But I want you to be able to tell our children about the time I got down on one knee and asked you to marry me."


Late morning, the next day

"I have no ideas for a grand prize. Any thoughts?" asked Bates.

Thomas leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling for a few moments. He tried to focus on the eclipse dance, but all he could think of was Minnie and that damned book.

"Let's move onto something else," suggested Bates.

"John, I need your advice."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, John. I need the kind of advice a man gives his little brother."

"You only have to ask, Pooh. You know that."

Thomas unlocked his desk drawer and pulled out the book. He hesitated for a moment before handing it to Bates.

Bates put on his reading glasses and examined the cover. Married Love or Love in Marriage by Marie Carmichael Stopes. "Stopes!" he exclaimed.

"John, please, not so loud. Stopes is an authority."

"I know who she is." Bates set the book on the desk. "Does this mean you and Minnie have finished your contract?"

"Yes. It took us five weeks, but we finished."

"Congratulations, Pooh. I know it's what you want."

"You still don't approve, do you, John?"

"It's not for me to approve or disapprove, Pooh." Bates noticed a piece of paper sticking out from the book. "What's this?" he asked.

Thomas felt his cheeks burning. "My notes."

Bates pulled the paper from the book and read the phrases Thomas had copied from the book and committed to memory.


the tender fondling with his lips of a woman's breasts is one of the surest ways to make her ready for complete and satisfactory union (p.22)

each act of union must be tenderly wooed for and won (p.46)

when the man tries to enter a woman whom he has not wooed to the point of stimulating her natural physical reactions of preparation, he may thus cause the woman actual pain (p.48) (tumescent)

70 or 80 per cent. of our married women are deprived of the full orgasm through the excessive speed of the husband's reactions (p.51)

woman has at the surface a small vestigial organ called the clitoris, which corresponds morphologically to the man's penis, and which is extremely sensitive to touch (p.51)


Thomas stood uncomfortably while Bates read through the notes and flipped through the corresponding pages of the book. Bates set the book on his lap. "This writing isn't what I expected."

"What did you expect?"

"Honestly ... a book that teaches wives to subvert their husbands' desires. But it's the opposite isn't it?"

"That's right. It teaches husbands how to help their wives enjoy lovemaking."

Bates picked up the book and began to read. Thomas looked at the clock and picked up the key to the wine cellar. "I'll be back in a bit." Bates did not look up. When Thomas returned with wine for the family's lunch, Bates was still reading. "John?"

Bates waved him away without looking up. Thomas shrugged and decanted the wine. When he was done, Bates still had his head buried in the book. "John!"

Bates jumped with surprise. "What?"

"What are you doing, John. You and Anna are happily married. You must know everything in that book."

"Well ... I've never seen it written down quite that way. You have some question about it?"

Thomas sat on the edge of the desk and lowered his voice. "The book says that if I haven't made Minnie ... tumescent, that I could cause her pain. I don't want to hurt her, John."

"I'm glad to hear it. What's your question, little brother?"

"The book doesn't say how."

"How?"

"How to stimulate her natural physical reactions."

Bates did not allow himself to smile. "I doubt it's much different from how you stimulate a man."

Thomas was disappointed. "You're teasing me."

"No, Pooh, I'm not. Think of how you like to be kissed and touched. What excites you? Much of it will be the same for her. And you can ask her what she likes."

"I couldn't do that, John. She's a virgin."

"I realize that, but she's not made of glass. It's all right to ask her for ... help."

"John, I couldn't possibly."

Bates sighed. "Is that your only question?"

Thomas shook his head.

"Well?"

Thomas picked up his notes and pointed. Bates followed his finger to the word, clitoris. Bates looked up at Thomas sympathetically. "Have you never seen a naked woman, little brother?"

"Certainly. No. I mean I've seen paintings and statues, but they don't show anything. And that blasted book doesn't have any pictures."

"You don't need these notes anymore, do you?" asked Bates. Thomas shook his head. Bates flipped over the paper, picked up a pencil, and tried to draw a picture of what Thomas was going to encounter. "You know, Pooh, when brothers have this talk, they're usually much younger than we are. I feel ridiculous." Thomas shrugged. "All right, Pooh. This is the clitoris, and here's where you ... penetrate."

Thomas looked at the drawing and then at Bates. He was mystified. Bates stood and held the drawing against himself so Thomas would understand the placement. Thomas looked at Bates holding the paper to his crotch and began to laugh, which made Bates laugh. The two fell over each other in a fit of hilarity and did not hear the knock at the door.

"What sort of hooley is this?" demanded Mrs Hughes when she entered the room. "Minnie is waiting for the wine."

"I beg your pardon, Mrs Hughes," apologized Bates, clasping the drawing tightly behind his back. "We were discussing ways to enliven our next dance and lost track of the time."

Thomas handed the decanter to Mrs Hughes. "Please tell Minnie that I'll be right there."

"Very well."

As soon as Mrs Hughes closed the door, Bates dropped into his chair. "Good lord!"

"That was a close call!" Thomas locked the book in his desk drawer and checked his hair in the mirror.

"Give me your lighter, Pooh. I'm going to burn this drawing." The two men watched the paper burn. "Are you still coming to dinner tonight?"

"If you and Anna want me, John."

"Of course we want you, Pooh, but I'm going to leave as soon as I dress His Lordship for dinner. I need to speak to Anna privately before we eat. Will you bring the hamper after you serve dinner?"

Thomas smiled. "Right." He suspected that John had questions for Anna after reading the book. What a sweet man. He wants to be a better husband. "I'd better run, John. Minnie's waiting."

Bates took hold of Thomas' arm. "Remember, Pooh, Minnie's a woman. She won't break."