Harry paced inside the Room of Requirements. Following Rashida's rules, he hadn't changed the room to suit his one purpose, to be somewhere where no one could find him, to be a room where he could feel safe and at home. It was to remain as the housing for the four, now five, students providing extra security. Hermione and Ron were wondering the halls doing their duties, but Harry didn't have anything to do. Before Hermione had left, she had looked at Harry pointedly and told him that Ginny had break until dinner. Harry wanted to apologize to her more than anything, but he couldn't. He couldn't bare the thought of facing Ginny with his face. He had refrained from looking in the mirror ever since he came to Hogwarts, but he didn't need a daily reminder of how hideous his face was.
Just talk to her. She loves you and you love her. Everything will be okay, a comforting hiss came from his bed.
Easy for you to say. You're not the one with the monstrous face, Harry retorted bitterly.
Your face isn't that bad anymore, Giolla said.
Harry stopped himself from touching his face. He didn't want to deal with the realization of his disfigurement again.
Do you love her? Giolla asked suddenly.
More than the world, Harry said defiantly.
Do you miss her?
Never have I missed something or someone more.
Then why don't you go to her?
Because this is what's best for her. She deserves better than me. Even Ron, Ginny, and Erik agree with me, Harry said.
Shut up with your self-pity. If you don't go see her right now, I'm going to personally bite your ankles until you go.
Please do, that way I can die from your poison, Harry said collapsing on Ron's bed.
Harry, Giolla said in a warning tone.
The door opened and Harry jumped off of Ron's bed and Giolla disappeared underneath Harry's covers.
"Oh, hi Harry," Roger said as he walked in the room.
"Hi Roger. I'd love to stay and catch up with you, but I promised Ron I'd come wander the halls with him," Harry said, hurriedly making his way to the door.
"Okay, I'll talk to you later then," Roger said, flopping onto his bed.
"Later," Harry said, rushing out the door.
"Funny kid," Roger commented at the closed door.
---
Harry walked down the halls, muttering to himself. "Just say, 'I'm sorry.' No big deal." Harry kept his face averted from the various students walking the halls. He walked well into dinnertime, not noticing the passing of time.
Just as some students began walking out of dinner, Harry walked past the Great Hall. He thought about going in and getting a bite to eat, but decided against it; she might be in there.
"Harry! What are you doing?" Ron asked as he saw his friend walk away from the Great Hall. "Come get some food with me!" he called, beckoning to his friend.
Harry kept walking down the hallway. "Oy! Harry!" Ron cried, giving chase to his friend. "What's gotten into you?" he asked when he pulled up next to Harry. "Come eat with me. I've got something I want to talk to you about."
Harry looked at his friend suspiciously. Ron's tone was far too light, but Harry followed Ron into the Great Hall. Ron helped himself to some food and Harry followed suit.
"What did you want to talk about?" Harry asked, pushing his food around his plate.
"Why didn't you tell me Erik had killed Charlie?" Ron said, putting his fork down.
"You never asked," Harry said.
"You weren't the easiest person to ask! We couldn't get any letters to you, we tried!" Ron said exasperatedly. "We tried getting you to come home, but I guess our letters never got to you."
"They got to me," Harry said simply.
"They got to your hands, I know that. You replied to one or two saying it was better if you stayed away, but they didn't get to you you. They didn't reach my best mate. They reached the boy who lived."
Harry looked at Ron a little guiltily. "With this face, can't you believe that it was better if I stayed away?"
"What face?" Ron asked.
Harry looked at Ron sourly and took a bite of his mashed potatoes.
"Harry, is it really this hard to apologize?" Ron asked.
"What am I even apologizing for? For bringing you guys into this? For killing Colin? For trying to do what's best for you?"
"Harry James Potter! You know exactly what you should be apologizing for," Ron said angrily.
"For running away and hiding," Harry said resignedly.
"Yeah, and leaving everyone to worry senselessly."
"Ron?"
"What, Harry?"
"Do you honestly think Ginny deserves better than me?"
"Well, you are better than that Erik fellow that killed Charlie," Ron said, his eyes sparking in anger. "But you're a far cry from what I think Ginny deserves, yes."
"What does Ginny deserve?"
"Someone who will be there for her. Someone she can count on. Someone who doesn't always take the blame. Someone who can apologize," Ron said, putting emphasis on the last statement.
"But it is my fault all those people died! And I won't apologize for doing something that was right. I should never have come back. I don't belong here," Harry said bitterly.
Ron stared at Harry angrily. "Harry, pull yourself together! If you don't shape up soon, I am going to do everything I can to keep you away from my sister. I won't allow you to hurt her like you did again." Ron stood up, upsetting his plate and causing a loud bang as it hit the floor. Ron walked out of the door heatedly. Harry looked down at his plate, trying to figure out what to do.
"I'm going to apologize to her," he quietly declared to himself. He stood up resolutely and followed Ron's path out of the Great Hall.
He walked around the halls, this time honestly looking for Ginny. He had just about given up when he ran into Hermione. "She's in the common room. The password is Hocus Pocus." With that, Hermione continued her trek down the hall. Harry sighed resignedly. He didn't have any excuse to not talk to her now.
He stood in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, staring at her. "Well, do you have a password for me? Or are you going to just stand there all night?" she asked irratibly.
"Hocus Pocus," he said, half hoping Hermione had told him the wrong password.
The portrait swung open and Harry walked in. He saw a group of girls laughing, and Ginny's head poked up from the group. He saw her laugh as she excused herself from the group. Harry expected her to go up to her dormitory, but she walked right over to him.
"I was wandering how long it would take before you came here," she said frostily. Harry looked at her, waiting for her to say something else. "Why don't we go outside?" she offered kindly. Harry motioned for her to go ahead of him.
Once they were outside the common room, Ginny looked at Harry expectantly. Harry looked at her eyes briefly before looking at the ground.
"Well?" Ginny prompted. She tried to catch his eye, but he determinedly continued facing away from her. "Look at me!" she said exasperatedly.
Harry looked up sheepishly. He met Ginny's eyes and started to turn ashamedly away, but she caught his chin in her hand.
"You have to talk to me sometime or another," she said, looking him in the eye.
"Is my face hideous?" he asked at last.
Ginny looked sadly at his pitiful green eyes. "No, it's very handsome," she said earnestly. Harry jerked away from her.
"You're lying."
Ginny sighed. She didn't want to pick a fight with Harry. Not when he was so close to apologizing. "Why did you come to the common room? I know it wasn't to ask me about your face," Ginny said, biting back her anger at Harry's self-pitying attitude.
"Ron told me that you deserve better than me, and I-"
"Oh Harry!" Ginny said, interrupting Harry. "He didn't mean it! You just need to stop blaming yourself!" she said. She wanted to give him a hug and make him understand that he was perfect for her, but she stopped herself.
"and I agree with him," Harry said resolutely. Ginny looked at Harry, bewildered. Where was he going with this? "So, I came by just to let you know that-"
"Harry, you can't leave!" Ginny cried, interrupting Harry again as she saw where he was going. She kicked herself mentally. So much for not turning back to him. So much for waiting for his apology.
"Who said I was going anywhere?" Harry asked. "I was just going to tell you that you should forget about me and move on."
"What? And what I think has nothing to do with this? You're just going to tell me who deserves me, who I deserve? Harry Potter, I think you are wrong." Ginny looked at Harry coolly. No one was going to tell her who she could be close to.
"Fine, then maybe I will leave. Then you can find someone else and learn to move on. Take off your rose-tinted glasses and look at the man behind the fantasy you've created. Your little crush won't last forever, and one day, you'll see whom I really am, and you're going to realize that you should have forgotten about me years ago. Why don't you send an owl to your precious Erik and tell him you made a mistake. You want to get to know him again." Harry started to turn around, but Ginny grabbed his shoulder and stopped him.
"Harry James Potter, how DARE you suggest that I would go out with my brother's MURDERER? You are sorely mistaken if you think that I could dishonor Charlie's memory like that! And you're wrong about my little fantasy; it broke apart years ago. Although I wasn't upset at what I saw, I saw the real Harry Potter, a boy way better than I could ever imagine. Surprisingly enough, however, your one-track mind managed to find at least one truth in all of your self-pity. I will forget about you. And one day, when you realize what a git you're being, it will be far too late. I never want to see your monstrous face again. If you come anywhere near me, I will personally be sure that the Daily Prophet hears of just how Colin Creevey died." Ginny glared at Harry. He looked at her, his face white at the mention of Colin Creevey. "What are you staring at? Go!" Ginny yelled at him. "And don't you dare come crawling back if you ever realize that you didn't mean what you said," she added venomously.
Harry turned around, shocked at Ginny's outburst. He had deserved it, he knew, but it didn't take the sting away at all. "Take this," he said quietly, pulling an envelope from his pocket. Ginny took the envelope from his hand, but continued glaring at him.
"Get away from me, Potter," she said quietly, ignoring his saddened demeanor. He should be sad, he just lost his last chance of getting her forgiveness.
Ginny watched with fire in her eyes as Harry walked down the hall. She only turned to go back into the common room when she couldn't see him anymore.
She stormed into the common room, her face flushed with anger. Her friends looked at her concernedly, but she angrily glared at them, causing them to stop in their tracks as they were moving to comfort her. She stalked up to her dormitory and slammed the door behind her. Once the door was safely shut, she put a quick silencing charm on the door and burst into tears. She didn't want to push Harry away like that, but she wasn't going to waste her life on him either.
"I deserve better than a git like him," she told herself through her helpless tears.
She blinked past a few more tears and opened the envelope Harry had given her, her curiosity getting the better of her.
She gasped when she looked at the photograph. A piece of parchment had fluttered out with the picture. Ginny picked up the note and read it.
Colin's last picture. I'm sorry you had to see me do that.
Ginny couldn't hold back the tears any longer. She let them come as she realized that maybe she shouldn't have jumped on Harry like that.
"I still deserve better than him," she told herself again, though her voice didn't seem nearly as spiteful as before.
AN: Well, there you have it, chapter 25. I hope you guys liked it!
fyi- last chapter will not have an author's note, BUT I will post one as a seperate thing...i'm sorry if this makes anyone mad, but my ending needs to be an ending and nothing more. maybe i'll add in a quick epilogue so i don't get yelled at, depending on reactions.
Anonymous Reviews:
Carlie: what do you think of Harry now? and now you know what's going to...or rather what did happen :)
Sarah: I'm sure you have more interesting things to put, but that's okay :) you seemed to like the chapter, so I forgive you :)
