Author: Porthos

Summary: McKay gets another visit from Sam in the infirmary, but this time it's a little…different. McKay/Whale. Seriously.

Author's notes: In the grand tradition of Sam/Thor and Beckett/Chair, I give you: McKay/Whale!

Okay, so I've repeatedly said that I'll pair McKay with just about anyone except a Wraith (and that's even looking tempting after hearing about the episode "Michael") so this is just a bit of weirdness on my part. Not beta'd, so if you've read any of my other stuff you can tell how much betas improve my writing from what I start with. :D

oOo

Rodney McKay was tired. Exhausted. Worn out. Drained of energy. On the verge of hypoglycemic fatigue.

So why couldn't he sleep?

It might have had something to do with the rhythmic snoring from the bed next to him. John Sheppard had doggedly refused to leave the infirmary, instead taking up residence in the bed right next to Rodney's. With his stolen pudding cup, no less! Well, at least Rodney's migraine had subsided. Thinking back, McKay realized that his headache had abated at roughly the same time that Sheppard had settled himself in and fallen asleep, although that might have also had something to do with the timely administration of Carson's magic painkillers.

Casting one last glance at Sheppard, (which quickly turned into a scowl after a particularly loud snore,) McKay shut his eyes with every intention of falling asleep. After only a few short moments, however, he felt the side of his bed shift under the weight of someone sitting on it. He cracked open his eyes, expecting to find a nurse there to check his head wound, but his eyes popped open in shock at what he actually saw.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

Sam looked thoughtful for a moment, as if considering the question, before blatantly ignoring it. "How are you doing, McKay?" She asked it a little too brightly, in his opinion.

Confused by the reoccurrence of what McKay had considered a one-time-only slightly-insane hallucination, he decided to avoid the obvious implications this had on his mental stability and just go with it. "Oh, tired, achy…a little hungry," he answered. "And you?"

She smiled. "About the same."

"Yes, of course you are," McKay rolled his eyes. "If you're my subconscious, it makes sense you'd feel the same as me. Not that you—" McKay saw Sam wince, and stopped short. "What?" he asked.

"That's, uh…that's what I came to talk to you about Rodney. I'm not actually a manifestation of your mind."

And his headache was back. "What?"

"I said, I'm not actually a manifestation of—"

McKay held up his hand to stop her. "Yes, thank you very much for the instant replay," he rolled his eyes. "And I'll admit that 'What?' was probably a far too general question for any hallucination or… whatever it is that you are," he waved his hands at her vaguely, "to answer sufficiently, so let's try again, shall we? What do you mean, you're not a manifestation? You can't possibly be the real Samantha Carter."

Her answer was simple and direct. "I'm not."

When she failed to elaborate, McKay lost his (admittedly limited) patience. "Listen, I'm tired, I'm freezing, and my head is killing me," he snapped. "I'm in no mood for your mind games, so I'm going to sleep now, and when I wake up I hope I'll never see you again!" To prove his point, he angrily flopped back on his bed and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Listen, Rodney—" Sam began, but was silenced by McKay's theatrical snoring.

Sam let out a frustrated breath. "McKay, you obviously do need the instant replay, because you're clearly not getting it. I said, I'm not a manifestation of YOUR mind!"

McKay's snoring immediately stopped, and one eye popped open to glare peevishly at her. "That's impossible. There wasn't anyone else down there besides me…" he pondered a moment "…and the whale…" Her crossed arms and raised eyebrow were enough to confirm his suspicions. He sat bolt upright in bed and nearly shouted, "You were created by Lassie?"

A snort from Sheppard caused both Sam and Rodney's heads to snap in his direction. After a few seconds of listening to his even breathing, they both seemed convinced that he wouldn't wake up, and McKay said in a stage whisper, "How is that even possible? I mean, it's a whale."

"Alien whale," she corrected.

"Fine. Alien whale," he conceded with another eye roll. "The point is, it's preposterous!"

"Why? You've been to dozens of worlds, seen things that are so bizarre they wouldn't even make it into the trashiest tabloids, and the thought of an intelligent whale tips your weird scale?"

McKay looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, when you put it like that…"

McKay felt the bed shift under her weight as she leaned in close, speaking in an earnest tone. "Rodney, just hear me out. I'm not just a manifestation, I'm real. As real as you or Sheppard." She pointed to the sleeping Colonel. "If he were to wake up, he would be able to see and hear me just as well as you can now. The only difference is that I can be manifested or disappear with a single thought."

McKay pressed gingerly on the bandage on his forehead, cringing slightly. "But why? I mean, if the whales are as powerful and intelligent as you say they are, why don't they just 'manifest' a way to get rid of the Wraith, or…do whatever it is whales want to do?"

"It doesn't work that way." She gave a light shrug. "Thousands of years ago, when the Ancients lived here, they used to coexist peacefully and even interact with the whales of this planet. The way they communicated was through the whales' ability to manifest its mind in the same form as whatever entity it wants to communicate with."

She waited a moment as the implications of what she had said sunk through McKay's groggy thoughts. "Wait, you're the—"

Sam jumped in before he could finish. "Sorry about bumping your Puddle Jumper. I was just curious, I didn't really mean to scare you." Her smile was teasing, if a little condescending. Frankly, it creeped McKay out, so he scooted back in his infirmary bed as far as he could go. "Geez, McKay!" Sam-the-Whale threw her hands up in frustration. "I'm not going to eat you! Unless you decide to go jump off the nearest pier and transform yourself into algae, you're safe from me."

McKay stopped his semi-frantic scrambling to look at her face with an unreadable expression. "You have no idea how weird it is to hear Sam say that."

"Yeah, about that…"

"No no no, let me guess…You read my mind, found the one person that I would feel the most comfortable being enclosed in a small space with, and took her form," he finished proudly.

"Got it in one," she winked.

McKay smiled slightly, then frowned at his next thought. "Well, that answers why you knew so much about me. You shouldn't go poking around in people's heads without permission!" he grumbled. "I feel violated."

Sam scrunched her nose and said, "Sorry." She made it quite clear that she was in no way apologetic. "You know, you've got an interesting imagination. That fantasy about you and me on the bridge of the Enterprise…" she let out a low whistle.

McKay turned positively scarlet, and his blood pressure skyrocketed in a way that he knew couldn't be healthy with his head wound. "Hey! That's private!" Her laughter just infuriated him more. Angrily, he spat, "Why did you have to manifest yourself to me? Why didn't you just leave me alone?"

Once her giggles subsided, she said, "You asked me for help." She said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, like it had never even occurred to her to simply swim on by. Remembering his words in the jumper, McKay was overcome with gratitude, both to her and to his need to run his mouth during stressful situations. He wanted to say he appreciated what she'd done. By keeping him company she had given him focus and taken his mind off of his impending doom. And if he hadn't been rescued, she would have made sure he didn't die alone. A lump formed in his throat and he wanted to speak, but he couldn't find the words. She touched his arm gently, a knowing smile on her face. "You're welcome," she said. He could only nod mutely.

After a few moments of companionable silence, Sam's mood changed. She stood and walked to the end of the bed, and her voice became strained. "Listen, McKay, there's a reason I came back here tonight. I needed to say goodbye. There's a chance you may never see me again."

McKay didn't like the way his stomach lurched at her words. "What? Why?"

She smiled sadly. "There's not too many of us left. I'm on my way to meet the others, to discuss the commotion you and your people have brought with you. We're going to decide if we should reveal our existence to you. If we end up deciding against it, I can't risk the wrath of the others by breaking our covenant." She gave him a half smile. "No matter how much I might like you," she teased.

Rodney thought about her words for a second, before deciding it was one of the stupidest things he'd ever heard. "Surely, you can't be serious. If you're as intelligent as you say you are, then you know the only logical thing to do is to work together. Think of the benefits!"

"Think of the risks! Rodney, we've kept our existence a secret from the Wraith for thousands of years. Revealing our existence to your people could change all that."

"We don't even know if the Wraith can feed off of alien whales!"

"And we don't want to find out!" They glared at each other mutely for a few seconds, before Rodney looked away and crossed his arms. Sam sighed, then said, "Anyway, it's not my choice. You'll keep our existence a secret, won't you Rodney?"

When he stubbornly refused to come out of his pout, she took his hand and squeezed it. He looked into her pleading blue eyes, and all he could think about at that moment was how much she looked like the real Samantha Carter, and he was never able to refuse her when she looked at him like that. "Fine," he acquiesced.

She smiled at him then, not the brilliant smile he remembered from his time at the SGC, but a bit sadder. "Goodbye, Rodney. I'll miss you." She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and before he could stop himself he had her face in his hands. He kissed her like he had in the jumper, with passion and tenderness, knowing in his heart he would never get to kiss Sam like this ever again, real or imagined. It only lasted a few seconds, then Rodney found he was holding air, and opened his eyes to find no one in the room besides himself and John, snoring softly in the next bed. But if he listened carefully, he thought he could hear the sad, slow notes of whale song quietly in the distance.

oOo

Author's notes (2): Wow, that ended up somewhere totally different than I thought it would. Anyway, I was thinking about this while watching GUP, because that whale was awfully helpful in getting Rodney rescued, (like he asked!) and Carter didn't show up until after the whale did, so I'm thinking this whale was smarter than we were led to believe. Lassie really did help them find Timmy down the well:)