"Yato…?" Hiyori's voice whispered among the darkness.
"Hm?" He responded quietly, as to not wake the blonde boy sleeping on the futon beside the bed.
"You're not gonna get any sleep unless you close your eyes," she told him.
Yato felt warmth in his cheeks. "Right, sorry."
Hiyori giggled softly to herself, curling up against his chest. "You apologize too much."
Yato draped his arm around her, sighing heavily. "Y-yeah…"
Yato could've sworn his eyes were closed, but he realized he was only staring into the pitch blackness of the night with wide eyes. Fatigue washed over him, but his mind was not prepared to sleep yet.
Too many thoughts and ideas flowed through his head. He suppressed them for as long as he could, but his fear was starting to show. He couldn't pull them under along with him. It was selfish - and gods were not selfish.
Yato knew he couldn't let so many people know about this. Sure - he told Hiyori that nothing they did was wrong, but he had only used that to make her feel better. He secretly knew that being intimate with a human, and having a child with one, was far more than "frowned upon" by the Heavens. And not to mention, if Yato's father found out more than he already knew about him and Hiyori, he'd have a field day with it.
It had already been a month since his father's message.
'Challenge accepted, Yaboku.'
What did that mean? Was his father going to make a move or not? Had he been watching him this whole time? Did he already know? What was he planning?
Yato carefully sat up in the bed, pulling away from his lover. Hiyori instinctively opened her tired eyes to look up at him.
"Yato? Where're you going?" She whispered, yawning.
"Uhh-" Yato thought quickly. "Th-the bathroom."
He cringed at his obvious lie, but Hiyori seemed too exhausted to ask any further questions. She closed her eyes again, pulling her body pillow closer.
"Mm, hai…" she mumbled, not entirely comprehending what he'd said.
. . . . .
Yato turned on the bathroom faucet, cupping his hands under it. He splashed cold water on his face a few times, breathing heavily in slight panic. When he finished, the god turned off the running water and slowly caught his breath.
"Dammit…!" He cursed under his breath to himself.
The god let out a deep sigh, straightening up. He stopped himself when he caught his reflection in the mirror. His skin looked slightly paler, and bags were already starting to form under his eyes.
He knew he couldn't it up any longer. They'd notice right away.
He groaned in response, reaching for the hand towel and wiping his wet face on it, but even as his skin was bone dry, he continued to rub at it. He envisioned his skin shaving off like the layers of a peeled apple, a new version of himself coming to the surface. But of course - that was a reality too far to reach - too far to dream of.
Yato pulled the cloth away from his face and tossed it aside, ultimately finding it useless. He pulled out a folded piece of paper from his jersey, holding it up to unfold it.
He stared down at the black and white image of the baby, and suddenly, he felt the world around him fade. His thumb gently ran over it.
"Your mother will forgive me. Someday, she'll understand..." he whispered.
With one last deep breath, Yato folded the paper back up and slipped it back inside his jersey. He stepped out of the bathroom, set his phone on a side table, scooped up his boots, and quietly snuck out of the apartment.
. . . . .
Hiyori's brother, who was a relatively light sleeper, awoke to the noise of the chain unlatching and the door closing as someone left. He sat up, rubbed his tired eyes and reached for his glasses on the nightstand beside him before going to investigate.
As expected, no one was there. The door was unlocked, the chain dangling from the lock.
Masaomi snuck a glance into the guest bedroom. Yukine was snoozing, his arm dramatically draped above his head, and his legs strangled in the sheets. His eyes slowly turned and focused on his sister, who was sleeping angelically, snuggling up against a body pillow.
Once his previous grogginess started to fade, he realized the way the bed sheets didn't seem strewn - the blankets tucked in around her were handled with care. As if the god hadn't just decided to up and leave so quickly. He was not in much of a rush - hesitant to go, but sure of himself.
Masaomi didn't understand why, but then, something suddenly came to him. He envisioned Yato delicately leaning over Hiyori to place a kiss on her forehead, before he quietly climbed out of the bed. The god smoothed out the soft blankets to make sure she was comfortable, and before finally leaving, he continued to get a long glance at the blonde boy beside his feet.
It suddenly dawned on him. This was not a man who had left. This was a man who couldn't leave, but couldn't stay - a man who had to protect something even if meant he had to put himself at risk.
Masaomi gave his sleeping sister a pitiful look, wondering how she would react when she found out. His chest tightened, filling with worry for all of them. He wished he could ask for an explanation about what was going on, but the more Hiyori tried to tell him, the less informed he felt. There was always more to the story that he didn't know, and it continued to puzzle him.
Just who exactly were these "Far Shore friends" of Hiyori's? And why did Masaomi sense so much secrecy around them?
. . . . .
Hiyori came out of the bedroom, stretching her arms and yawning. Yukine followed behind her, rubbing his dry eyes.
They headed towards the kitchen. Hiyori stopped when she noticed her brother sitting at the small dining table. Yukine obliviously walked past both of them, going towards the fridge.
"O-onii-chan?" She blinked.
Masaomi gave her a weak smile, lowering his coffee mug away from his face. He looked exhausted, his hair and pajamas all disheveled.
"W-what are you doing?" Hiyori asked, approaching him. "Shouldn't you be ready to leave for your job by now?"
Masaomi set his cup aside, sighing out of exhaustion. "I just asked them for the day off."
Yukine, now holding a bowl of sliced fruit from the fridge, looked over at Masaomi. "They let you do that?" He asked, slightly surprised.
Masaomi nodded, but his demeanor was somewhat grim. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
"I just told them that I would be looking after you today," he replied, looking to his sister.
Hiyori blinked and furrowed her eyebrows. "'Me?' What do you mean? Why today?" She tore her gaze away from Masaomi to scan the whole apartment, mindlessly rubbing her baby bump. "And where is Yato?"
"W-why don't you come sit down…?"
Yukine helplessly watched. He noticed Hiyori's eyes reflected that of a lost puppy's, while her brother remained calm and serious.
Hiyori took one last glance around her before she hesitantly came to Masaomi's side and sat down next to him. He fidgeted nervously in his seat, awkwardly clearing his throat.
"S-so… I've been trying to think of how to word this for most of the night, trying to figure out how to tell you this, and I-I'm still not sure what to say," Masaomi nervously began, staring at his steaming cup of coffee.
Hiyori and Yukine exchanged clueless looks.
"What are you talking about, Onii-chan?" Hiyori insisted, worry in her voice.
Masaomi sighed. "Leaving without an explanation seems really cruel, but I think you deserve one. So Hiyori-" he reached out and took one of her hands in both of his, "on behalf of Yato, let me explain."
"W-wait, what?!" Yukine cried, setting his bowl of fruit down and coming towards the table.
"Yato left?!" Hiyori shot up from her seat, her hand tearing out of her brother's grasp. "What do you mean? You saw him leave n' you didn't do anything?"
"Wait, just listen-" Masaomi tried to say, but Hiyori was heading towards the bedroom. "Hiyori, where are you going?"
"I need to call him," she answered over her shoulder.
"You can't." Masaomi stood up, rounding the table until he was close enough to Hiyori that he could reach out and grab her wrist. Hiyori stopped and turned around. He held up the shiny red flip phone in his hand, giving it to Hiyori to hold. "He left his phone here."
"Seriously? That guy is ridiculous!" Yukine muttered, crossing his arms.
Hiyori, not knowing how to react, slowly reached out and took the phone. She stroked it and flipped it over in disbelief. She flipped it open, immediately greeted by a wallpaper of her and Yato during their first trip to Capypa Land. She remembered that day so clearly, and she wished more than anything that those simple days would return.
Hot tears flooded down her face, and her pink eyes shook with intense sorrow. She clutched the phone to her heart, choking out a sob.
"Why?" Hiyori mumbled, then raised her voice. "Why did he leave? Did I do something wrong?"
Panic rose in Masaomi's expression. He helped sit her down on the couch while he attempted to console her.
"No way! It's not your fault, Hiyori!" Masaomi told her. "It's no one's fault."
His gaze dropped to his lap, and he sighed once more before lowering his voice. "Look - I may not know Yato very well - I may not know him at all, but I know that he cared about you. It took me a while, but I eventually realized that. Because I saw it for myself."
Hiyori's sobbing didn't seem to quiet down. Her brother, feeling slightly defeated, didn't give up so easily.
"I'm sure he has his own reasons for leaving that doesn't include not wanting you or your baby. He's gonna come back. We just...need patience…"
Hiyori sniffled, unable to catch her breath between her constant crying. She kept the phone desperately pressed against her chest. "H-how...do you know that?"
Masaomi didn't have any actual proof. He was only trusting his gut, but he knew this wouldn't be a satisfying answer for his heartbroken sister. He had to think of something.
Then, it suddenly slipped out.
"Because he told me."
"H-he did…?" Hiyori asked softly, her crying suddenly ceasing. She stared at her brother on the couch beside her with hopeful eyes.
"He did?" Yukine repeated, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.
Masaomi stayed silent for a long moment, shocked by his unexpected excuse. He realized it was too late to go back on what he'd said, and so, he nodded in response. "H-hai."
"When is he coming back? Did he say where he was going?" Hiyori asked suddenly, leaning towards Masaomi, who was taken aback by her reaction.
Yukine scoffed from across the living room, causing the siblings to turn their heads in his direction. "That loser never says anything. He's always so secretive n' reckless."
Hiyori pulled away from her brother, seeming to think about something. Masaomi looked to Yukine.
"Is this like him? Do you have any idea where Yato could've gone?"
Yukine was about to answer, but considering he didn't want to expose too much of Yato's dark past, he decided it would be best to deny. "No," he answered finally, his arms dropping back to his sides in defeat, "he doesn't usually leave like this."
Hiyori, refusing to believe any of it, suddenly stood up from the couch and headed for the front door. She knelt down, reaching for her shoes.
"Hiyori? W-what are you doing?" Masaomi blinked, standing up from his seat as well.
Yukine turned around, watching her slip on her leather shoes. "Where are you going?"
Hiyori grabbed her sweater off the hook, then turned to look at them. Determination was written all over her face. "I'm going after him."
"Woah, hang on!" Her brother cried in shock.
"What?" Yukine nearly shouted. "You can't do that!"
Frustration rose inside the brunette. Wasn't her idea a logical one?
"And why not?" She demanded.
"Because Yato wouldn't want you to."
This seemed to catch her attention. Hiyori froze, but only for the slightest second before she shook off her surprise. She gave the Regalia a strict expression.
"I don't care what Yato wants," she told him, "I care about what he needs."
Yukine knew he had to answer her. He had to say something quickly, because he also knew that Hiyori was stubborn enough to leave if he remained silent for too long. The blonde boy stumbled on his words, unable to find the right thing to say. Hiyori groaned to herself, growing bored. She turned around and reached for the doorknob.
That was when Yukine stepped in front of her, blocking her path. He held his arms out to keep her from passing him.
"Yukine-kun-"
"Hiyori."
They stood there for a second or two, challenging each other.
"Yato needs you to be safe," he told her, matching her determination. "You can't just go wandering around town while you're…" his words trailed off.
Hiyori blinked, following his gaze downward to meet her bulging belly. Her eyes darted back to meet him, her face steaming red from embarrassment and anger.
"Because I'm pregnant?" She said, emotion building in her voice. "That's what you mean? I'm not useless, Yukine-kun! I can take care of myself!"
Yukine cringed, realizing he had struck a nerve. Hiyori looked over her shoulder at her brother, who tensed and turned away from her in shame.
"N-no, that's not what I was saying…" the boy tried to explain, ashamed.
Tears filled the girl's pink eyes again. She couldn't hide the raw emotion in her tone. She trusted her sweater down on the floor and kicked off her shoes.
"The least we could do is try!" Hiyori cried, fighting back her tears.
Yukine's shoulders slumped down, and he exhaled audibly through his nose. "Alright, fine." He finally surrendered. "But not until you calm down."
"He's right." Masaomi came to his sister's side, wrapping a supportive arm around her shoulders and guiding her back to the living room. Hiyori felt her body give out as she sat on the couch. She wiped her wet face on her pajama sleeves.
"Why don't you focus on some of your online school work right now, and I'll make you a big breakfast for two," he grinned, handing her laptop to her from off the kitchen table.
Hiyori smiled warmly at her brother as she reached up and grabbed her computer from him. "That sounds lovely. Arigato, Onii-chan."
Masaomi smiled back, and headed into the kitchen to prepare some food. Hiyori took a deep breath to calm herself, knowing her stress wouldn't bode well for her baby.
Yukine came to Hiyori's side, sitting next to her. He nervously played with his fingers in his lap while Hiyori opened her laptop and typed in her password. The boy finally spoke.
"I didn't mean to do that, Hiyori."
"Hm?" Hiyori turned her head towards the Regalia, who looked at her from the corner of his eye and blushed. "Do what?"
"I…" Yukine slouched, still deciding his next words without looking at her. "I didn't mean to offend you. Or make you cry..."
Hiyori caught the sympathy in his voice, and felt some of her tension subside. She chuckled softly to herself. "It's alright, Yukine-kun. I forgive you - You were just doing your job," she said with a smile.
Yukine noticed it and blushed again. He ran his hand through his shaggy hair to avoid awkwardly glancing at her.
"And it's not your fault. I cry so easily now," she laughed weakly, scratching her temple. She looked down at her belly, rubbing it lovingly. "This little girl certainly makes my hormones go crazy."
The two of them shared a chuckle. Hiyori continued typing on her computer in her lap, and for a few minutes, the only sound was of her fingers tapping the keys. Yukine, who was staring off into space, suddenly spoke up.
"You don't think-"
The brunette came to a complete pause, and focused her attention on the blonde boy beside her again. Yukine glimpsed at Masaomi in the kitchen a few feet away from them, and lowered his voice.
"That Yato is…-?"
Despite how his words trailed off, Hiyori seemed to catch onto his thought. She slightly turned her gaze away, considering the idea. She sighed, her eyes narrowing down with concern.
"I'd like to disagree with you," she said, "but it'd only make sense that he would…"
"What do you mean?" Yukine asked, blinking at her.
"Yato left in the middle of the night, without saying anything," Hiyori pointed out. "And he's been acting strangely. You've noticed it, too - haven't you?"
"You mean he's been on edge?"
"Well, that, and a few other things."
Yukine went quiet for a minute, thinking about it. "I-I mean, I guess so. But you don't think he's just been really nervous about the baby?"
Hitori seemed to consider it before she answered. "I wouldn't doubt it. But if it were something as simple as that, wouldn't he just tell me?"
"You mean he hasn't?" The boy blinked in confusion and surprise.
Amidst her thoughts, Hiyori's gaze fixed on her brother. Masaomi turned around to rinse a pan in the sink, and noticed her make eye contact with him from across the room. He smiled a bit and waved to her, to which Hiyori gladly returned the gesture. She turned back to face Yukine, her expression serious again.
"No. I keep trying, and he keeps avoiding my questions. It's just not like him."
"This is new?" Yukine asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I-I don't know," the girl sighed, then started to mumble. "He promised me...that if he ever lied to me, it would be to protect me. Maybe that's why he didn't tell anyone - because he knew I'd stop him. And for once, I tried to brush it off and give him space 'cuz I thought he just needed some time to adjust…"
"Don't start thinking like that," Yukine began. "If Yato really is with him, then of course he wouldn't bring you along - baby or not."
Hiyori blinked, surprised by his mature answer.
"Although, I'm not entirely sure why he left me behind," he muttered, searching for the TV remote.
He picked up the remote once he found it hidden under a stack of magazines on the coffee table in front of him. He attempted to turn the TV on, but after not getting his desired result, he smacked the remote in his palm a few times to revive it.
"Do you know why he'd go straight to him?" Hiyori asked, sounding slightly upset.
"No idea," the Regalia replied, flipping the device over to check its batteries. "Maybe some unfinished business?"
Hiyori bit her lip, processing his words. Why'd I expect the secrets to suddenly stop once we started dating?
The blonde kid gasped victoriously when he adjusted the position of the crooked batteries in the remote. He slipped the case back on before lifting his head to see Hiyori.
"Even if we don't find him anytime soon, I'm sure he'll come back. Until then, if there's anything you need, I'll be here for you," Yukine grinned at her.
Ahh, I see… Hiyori thought with a small smile. You left Yukine here to watch over me. Didn't you, Yato?
"Arigato, Yukine-kun."
Yukine blushed and laughed weakly.
"Hey! Why don't we study together?" The brunette suddenly suggested, beaming at her friend. "It's been a while since I've taught you anything new."
Yukine eagerly gasped. "Hai!"
. . . . .
Yato let out a shaky breath, stepping into the room. This room was the literal room of most of his nightmares - the rest of them containing scenes of endless bloodied, twisted bodies littering the ground he walked on. He was never allowed to dream here.
The wooden walls were bare, with only a skinny window at the top providing light. In one corner rested a nightstand with a dusty hand mirror on top of it, and across the room was a wardrobe. In the center lay a plain white futon. There was nothing significant to his surroundings, which was meant to match the person inhabiting it.
He always told himself that it would be the last time he'd ever have to step foot in the cabin. But then that "last time" turned into the next time, and the time after that - until eventually, Yato himself lost track, and the excuse wasn't enough to calm his shot nerves.
Damn this place! Yato sighed heavily. It can't be helped now. If I'm staying, I might as well look the part.
Yato then stripped down to his black boxers. He opened his wardrobe, revealing several kimonos. He chose his dark navy blue one, pulling his arms through the sleeves and tying it around his waist. He folded his jersey away and placed his boots at the bottom of wardrobe. He pulled out the ultrasound photo, his eyes narrowing down with pity.
Yato knelt down, reaching for his pillow on the floor. He lifted it, kissed the picture, and slipped it under the pillow. He stood up to tie his hair back, and while his back was turned, he heard his bedroom door slide open. Fear paralyzed him.
"Welcome home, Yaboku."
