Title: Uncertainty Principle
Disclaimer: I don't own House. Or Death.
A/N: This is really crack. I mean, a Discworld/House crossover? I must be crazy. Anyway, read and review!
House stared at the figure beside his bed. He was in the hospital, that was sure, but he was positive that this tall and very skinny (though emaciated was probably closer to the truth) man hadn't been here before. Well, if this was another hallucination, there was really nothing he could do but play along. "Hello."
HELLO.
That voice… Well, not so much voice. It didn't speak. It just was. The man (though House was no longer sure that this was a man exactly) looked quite a bit like the Grim Reaper. "Who are you?"
DEATH.
"Would you mind telling me why you're here?"
I'M WAITING TO SEE IF YOU DIE. USUALLY I WOULDN'T COME ALL THIS WAY, BUT YOU ARE A SINGULAR CASE.
"Wait… You're death, and you don't know if I'm going to die?"
IT'S COMPLICATED. IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH KITTENS. AND A BOX.
"Schrodinger's cat? The uncertainty principle?"
YES, THAT SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT.
"I thought death was one of those certain things. Like taxes."
I AM A CERTANTY. WHAT'S NOT CERTAIN IS WHEN.
"So you're here because I might die."
WELL, THIS IS A HOSPITAL. YOU COULD SAY I'M ALWAYS HERE, YOUR MENTAL STATE IS JUST… MORE ATTUNED TO OTHER PLANES RIGHT NOW. SO YOU CAN SEE ME.
"I knew I was hallucinating. And I don't feel like dying just yet, so could you leave?" Even for a hallucination, this was weird. It was freaking him out.
GOODBYE, HOUSE. I WILL BE SEEING YOU, THOUGH I DOUBT YOU WILL BE SEEING ME.
His visitor walked away from the bed, and through the door. Without opening it. As he left, a few more words… came into being. They hung in the air like stone tablets.
NOW, WHICH WAY WAS ONCOLOGY AGAIN?
