Author's notes: Okay, nobody guessed where the fanged frogs came from, so here's a hint: check out liketheriver's fics. They're some of the wittiest and most in-character stories I've read, and they never fail to amuse me. The one with the fanged frogs is one of my favorites. :D

And now on to the notes for the fic: Glad to hear I've still got readers! (Apparently my poorly veiled attempt at blackmail got a few out of hiding.) ;) Also, I'm having a great time writing this, so I'm really glad to hear that you all are having a good time reading it, as well. Thanks for all your great support!

Also, I may be stealing from some recent current events for the source of the whales' illness, but I swear I'm not making any political statements here.

oOo

"Dr. McKay, this is amazing!" Mildred said for about the fifteenth time in the last hour. "There is so much information here, I hardly know where to begin."

"Hmm," Rodney answered noncommittally. He was too busy deciding whether Mildred looked more like a goldfish or a trout.

Dr. Balaena looked up to see McKay staring at her, then looked back at the holographic projection with pursed lips. And was she…blushing? Suddenly sitting up straight, Rodney decided now would be a good time to check on Beckett's progress. Tapping his radio, he called Carson's name.

"Yes, what is it Rodney?" If Carson didn't stop sounding so annoyed, Rodney was going to think the Scot didn't like basking in his glowing presence, and that was just silly. Or maybe he just didn't want to head back into Dr. Balaena's lab, and that Rodney could understand.

"What have you been doing for the past hour? Last time I checked, there were no sheep in Atlantis in need of shearing, so what could possibly be taking you so long?"

An exasperated sigh greeted McKay as Carson stepped into the lab. "Rodney, if you donnae watch your bloody tone, I have no choice but to assume you've a hankering for a ruddy big vitamin shot to the bum."

Rodney was unfazed. "Aside from a repressed desire to see me drop my pants, what have you got?"

Carson pinched the bridge of his nose and passed the file to McKay. "I got the blood tests back from the lab, but aside from the lack of a bacterial or viral presence, I cannae make heads or tails of the blood chemistry."

Rodney opened the folder to see the list of hormones and neurotransmitters found in the whale blood. "Wow, extremely high levels of norepinephrine and serotonin."

"Aye, they're high levels for a human, but I have no idea if they're high for the whales. And there's some chemicals I've never even seen before!"

Rodney continued to flip through the reports. "Hmm…There's also low levels of glutamate…"

"But only in the sick whales," Carson confirmed. "And it's usually accompanied by a drop in the norepinephrine and serotonin levels. Near as I can tell, it's what's making the beasties sick."

"Gentlemen, perhaps I can explain those neurotransmitter levels." Mildred spoke up, her eyes glued to the holographic projector. "I've managed to call up one of the files on the brain activity of the whales. As you can see here," she pointed to one spot on the holographic image of the brain, "they have unusually large auditory processing centers. These whales are most likely very sensitive to sound, perhaps even more so than the cetaceans of earth. Glutamate is a neurotransmitter involved in the processing of sound waves, isn't that correct doctor?"

Carson nodded in the affirmative. "Aye. It could be that something's damaging their ability to process sound, and that's somehow affecting the norepinephrine and serotonin that are associated with higher brain functions. I just wish I knew more about how their brains functioned, it might give us a hint as to what's causing the damage."

Mildred tapped a few keys on the console. "I believe there's a…Yes, here it is! A complete listing of every function of the xenocetaceans' brain, as well as the correlative mapped location of the function."

"Bloody amazing," Carson breathed. "The Ancients were nothing if not thorough."

Mildred nodded as she tapped a few more keys and called up the file that Rodney immediately recognized as the one describing how the whales were able to project their consciousness in human form. He had a brief moment of panic when he realized that Sam's secret was only moments from being discovered. Thinking fast, he spied a small tank containing one lonely fish setting near the projector. He leaned over close to Mildred, pretending to be absorbed in the hologram, then "accidentally" bumped the tank, sending it crashing down on top of the projector. With an unholy squeal, Mildred dove to protect her precious fish as the projector table erupted in a shower of sparks. Cupping the fish tenderly, she cooed to it quietly, the projector sparking periodically in the background.

"Oh, ah, I'm so sorry, Mildred," Rodney apologized, but Dr. Balaena was too busy frantically searching for a spare tank to save her beloved fish. "Well, uh, I have some work I need to do, and Carson I'm sure you have better things to do with your time, so I'll just be…going." He pointed to the door, which Carson was already making a beeline toward, and Rodney followed quickly at his heels.

As soon as he exited the lab, Rodney called Zelenka on his com. There was a brief pause, some rustling noises, and a bit of brief mumbling in Czech before Radek's voice responded, sounding entirely too professional. "Zelenka here. What can I do for you Rodney?" Yeah, the sneaky Czech was definitely hiding something.

"I need you to gather up some equipment for me. I need my laptop from my lab and a microphone capable of detecting subsonic and supersonic frequencies underwater. Take them to the jumper bay, and rig up one of the jumpers for marine travel."

"Marine travel? Rodney, are you certain you—" There was a soft voice in the background that interrupted Zelenka, and McKay had no doubt that it was definitely a female voice.

"I knew it! You do have a secret girlfriend!" Rodney exclaimed triumphantly.

"What? No, I…" Radek bluffed desperately. "It was movie you heard. I am watching movie on laptop in room." Rodney heard the female voice giggling, and then Radek muttering something in Czech. There was one last snort, and then the giggles were silent.

"Right, whatever. Just get the equipment, and I'll meet you in the jumper bay shortly. I have a few things I need to do first. McKay out." Rodney closed the connection, not letting Zelenka try to talk his way out of this one.

Worried he would never get the smell of raw, dead fish out of his nostrils, Rodney decided to head to his quarters to clean up. Just as he turned the corner to head for the nearest transporter, he nearly ran right into Cadman. She was obviously out for a run, clad in her grey sweatpants and tee-shirt, as well as a bright pink headband and a pink ipod with earphones. Rodney, however, immediately noticed the pink and recognized this as the latest disguise Sam had adopted.

"Ah, there you are," he greeted. "I've been looking all over for you."

Cadman immediately stopped and took out her earphones, peering at him suspiciously. "Oh. Okay. What did you need?"

"I just thought you should know that we figured out what's causing the whales to get sick," he announced proudly.

"Oh…that's…good?" Cadman asked, clearly confused.

Rodney gazed up briefly towards the heavens in his "save me from the imbeciles" gesture. "Yes, I'd say it's very good. Something about some sort of strange sound waves that only affect the ones sensitive to it. We don't really know what's causing the sensitivity, but really all we have to do is track the source of the sound and eliminate it, and everyone should be back to their old selves. Well, that's the theory anyway."

"I'm glad you're taking such an interest in the native wildlife, Rodney." Cadman didn't even bother to hide the amusement in her voice.

Rodney continued, slightly irked. "Yes, well I'm surprised you're not more enthusiastic about this. After all, you're the one who—"

"McKay! There you are!" Sheppard barreled around the corner. "Elizabeth wants to see us in her office, pronto." Sheppard continued on past Rodney, not bothering to pause in his stride.

"Right, just a minute," Rodney stalled.

"Now, McKay." Sheppard was using his dangerous voice, the one that threatened lots of combat training with Teyla and Ronon if he didn't comply.

Turning back to Cadman, Rodney spoke as he followed Sheppard's to the transporter. "I guess we'll have to finish this later." As an afterthought he added, "But, uh, not in my quarters this time. That was a little creepy."

"Your…quarters? Rodney, are you sure you're feeling all right?"

"Now, McKay!" Sheppard bellowed from the open transporter.

"Yes, yes, I'm coming!" Rodney yelled back. Stepping in front of the transporter doors, Sheppard grabbed the front of his shirt and forcibly hauled him into the transporter.

"Hey!" Rodney was incensed. "Is it really necessary to manhandle me?" He turned to glare at Sheppard and gave a surprised yelp when he saw Sam standing there instead, dressed in Sheppard's usual black t-shirt and BDU pants.

"Well, you were about to disclose some pretty vital information, so I decided some drastic action was necessary."

Rodney was gobsmacked. "Wait, if you're…then Cadman's…oh, no," he groaned, burying his face in his hands. "As if that woman needed more reason to think I'm insane."

"She doesn't think you're insane," Sam said lightly, a hint of a mischievous grin touching her lips. "She thinks you're cute, actually."

"Really?" McKay instantly perked up. "But wait, she's with Carson…"

"They have a 'look but don't touch' policy," Sam shrugged. "Now, on to this theory of yours. How do you plan to find the source of the sound waves?"

"I'm working on it. But I think I'll need your help for that."

Sam nodded enthusiastically. "Okay, I'll meet you in the jumper bay later. First, though, uh…I think you'd better go take a shower." She leaned in and gave an exaggerated sniff. "You stink, McKay."

"Oh, you spend an hour with the fish lady and we'll see how nice you smell!"

"Ah-hem." Rodney heard someone clear their throat, then turned to face Colonel Sheppard—the real Colonel Sheppard—staring at him through the open doors of the transporter.

Rodney realized he was alone in the transporter, and halfheartedly pointed to his headset. "Radio," he offered by way of explanation.

Sheppard continued to stare at Rodney with his arms crossed, and raised a solitary eyebrow in response. After a few awkward moments of silence, Rodney said as nonchalantly as he could, "Well, I'll just be going then. See you later Colonel," he called over his shoulder as he hurried off to take a shower.

oOo

A/N: Okay, I have no clue if the neurotransmitter thing is right, but in the 5 minutes of research I did, I thought it sounded okay. Let me know if I screwed up. Also, I'm thinking I have somewhere between 3 or 4 chapters left to go on this. And don't worry, Zelenka's mystery girlfriend will be revealed, as well as some other interesting romantic entanglements… :D