Chapter Twenty-Three - Liar Liar

Now that all Lex's clothes had been stolen, he'd decided that he'd have to make do with the Tardis' dressing room and its distinct lack of designer wear. While it would have been a simple matter for him to come up with something suitably Luthorian, that was the last thing he needed if his plan was to succeed, and so he'd started trying out a seemingly endless succession of outfits. Now, posing in front of the mirror, he decided that he had the perfect look.

Turning his attention away from the mirror, he picked up the medallion he'd retrieved earlier and suddenly his mind was transported away, reliving his memories, paying special attention to one person, their body language, their mannerisms. For Lex Luthor knew that Clark Kent would never listen to him, but there was one person he'd have to listen to.

Suddenly Lex's thoughts were back in the Tardis. Putting the medallion away, he started to make his way to Chloe's room. She was the starting point in his plan but, unfortunately, when he got there, her room was empty.


Chloe hadn't been able to sleep, so she'd started wandering the Tardis' corridors when suddenly she'd heard some music she recognized coming from the console room. As she got there she found The Doctor huddled over an old record player and a tape deck, both of which were now being powered via cables coming from beneath the Tardis console.

"So, what do you think of the music?" asked The Doctor.

"Well, it's not a personal favorite," admitted Chloe.

"It's for a memorial service I'm putting together for Lana," explained The Doctor. "I've been out in Sin City getting these records - can you believe this reality doesn't have CDs yet?"

Chloe looked at The Doctor quizzically. "I'm comin' up so you better get this party started - do you really think that's appropriate?"

"Well, Clark kept mumbling about how Lana loved Pink," he replied defensively.

Chloe rolled her eyes. "What else have you got?"

"Well, they didn't have a lot of choice," started The Doctor. "I've got Britney's Toxic…" Chloe shook her head, so he continued "… and then there was this soundtrack."

He pressed the play button on the tape deck and suddenly Judy Garland's voice singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow filled the console room.

Suddenly Chloe found her eyes filling with tears.

"Hate that one as well, huh?" groaned The Doctor, moving his finger towards the stop button.

Chloe grabbed hold of his hand. "No, Doctor, that's perfect."

The Doctor smiled his wide smile. "Great. Well, I'll leave you with it," he said, picking up a bag of groceries that he'd also bought in Sin City. "There's some things I've got to take care of elsewhere in the Tardis."


Lex had heard the music coming from the console room and had decided to investigate. As he headed towards there, stepping over the unconscious Rose Tyler blocking his path, he met The Doctor coming in the opposite direction brandishing a grocery bag.

"Nice outfit," said The Doctor as he brushed past Lex and knelt beside Rose to check that she was okay.

"Thanks," replied Lex, without meaning it (since The Doctor was, after Clark, the very last person anybody would ever ask for fashion advice). Turning his attention back to the console room, Lex continued on his journey, only to finally arrive there and find just the person he wanted to see.

"Chloe," he said with a forced hesitancy. "I need to talk."

"Just like you were going to talk to Ursa," sneered Chloe, not even bothering to look around at Lex.

"I tried," he admitted, "but all that got me was a bullet in my chest and this."

Chloe turned her attention away from the tape deck and towards Lex. She looked at him, resplendent in one of The Doctor's old outfits, pulling the shirt aside to reveal a scar on his chest. "What, she made you play cricket?" she said sarcastically.

"I'm talking about the scar," said Lex.

"Yeah, I saw it earlier when you were naked," admitted Chloe. "I just assumed that whoever stole that chair you mentioned also took some of your organs along with it."

"No, this was Ursa's doing," said Lex, looking away from Chloe. "She's put a device in there - all that she's got to do is press a button and I'll be writhing in agony. She thinks she can get me to do whatever she wants."

"So, that's why you're wearing that outfit?" asked Chloe.

"No, I just couldn't wear that black outfit anymore," said Lex. "Not around you," he added, diverting his gaze from Chloe once again.

"What are you talking about?" asked Chloe, sensing a mystery.

Lex took a step back. "I'm sorry, Chloe. I've said too much. Besides, you wouldn't believe me. It's too … too outlandish."

"Try me," said Chloe.

Lex looked at Chloe, tired after a long day, susceptible to whatever untruths he decided to weave.

"You've got to promise not to tell Clark," he said, reeling her in.

"Of course not," promised Chloe, "you can trust me."

"Of course I can," said Lex, for he knew that he could trust her to spread his lies - after all, that's what newspaper people were for.

"So, go on, Lex, spill the beans."

Lex hesitated. "You've probably noticed that I haven't bored you with any quotations since you first encountered me in the future Smallville."

"Well, no, that's true," admitted Chloe. "But so what?"

"I don't know how to say it …" began Lex. "I'm almost afraid to say anything. The last person I told was Ursa. That was why she tried to kill me in that other reality's Metropolis, the same reason she wants to control me now."

"Fascinating," said Chloe. "Now, could you just hurry up to the punch line."

"I've been living a lie, Chloe … for so many years. I'm not the Lex Luthor you think you know. It all changed … back in Smallville."

Lex fell silent, presumably lost in his memories. Actually, he was just waiting for the Wizard of Oz soundtrack to reach the part where The Scarecrow sang If I Only Had A Brain. As it did, Lex looked at Chloe, and inwardly reveled in the irony. It was time to tell Chloe one of the most audacious lies of all time.

"The Lex Luthor you knew wasn't me. That Lex Luthor wanted to live out his Warrior Angel fantasies … and he got his wish. You don't recognize me do you, Chloe? Not in this body."

He looked down at her, hoping his study of Clark's body language hadn't been in vain.

"Clark?" she said, her voice almost catching in her throat.

Lex smiled and nodded.